My passion is finding the truth that takes me away from negativity
Siddhi, this is a wonderful passion to have that you mention here. Following is a verse which addresses this desire of yours.
2 Corinthians 10:5 Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ; >>>>King James version
And the following version may be more easily understood and also the main 'sin', that being pride that hinders us.
Contemporary English Version
and every bit of
pride that keeps anyone from knowing God. We capture people's thoughts and make them obey Christ.
Pride is what Cain felt when his offering to God was found to be unacceptable. Here is part of the history of Abel and Cain.
Genesis 4:2
Now Abel kept flocks, and Cain worked the soil.
3In the course of time Cain brought some of the fruits of the soil as an offering to the Lord.
4And Abel also brought an offering—fat portions from some of the firstborn of his flock. The Lord looked with favor on Abel and his offering,
5but on Cain and his offering he did not look with favor. So Cain was very angry, and his face was downcast.
6Then the Lord said to Cain, “Why are you
angry? Why is your face downcast?
7If you do what is right, will you not be accepted? But if you do not do what is right, sin is crouching at your door; it desires to have you, but you must rule over it.”
Siddhi, Cain should not have been angry. That is 'sin' number two which he let get control of him. But number one 'sin' was he was too
proud to accept that his offering was not favorable. Exactly why I don't know. At the time this happened the 'relationship' between mankind and God was not so good is all I know. The Bible doesn't tell how long after being kicked out of the Paradise of the Garden that this happened.
The Bible is a book of Faith. In the Old Testament the word Faith is rarely used but instead the word Trust is used. There may be other words which mean Faith or Trust but I am not sure what they are.
Apparently when Cain brought an offering it was rejected and this was the first time an offering is made. Now the offerings in the Old Testament often involved the killing of some animal. It may sound terrible that the blood of some animal was often required for an offering. That is, an animal was killed. Then the blood was sprinkled on people. Sounds terrible too.
The only thing I can think of is that God was very upset that Adam and Eve didn't obey Him and now the animals, which God created are also cursed because of Adam and Eve not obeying so God wants them to be always conscious of the suffering that God and His creation are put through and sprinkling blood on them serves them right. Maybe this is not right but I don't know another explanation.
When Jesus came and was crucified then all the anger that God had about the 'sin' of mankind was focused at His own Son, Jesus.
Romans 5:8 But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us. 9 Much more then, being now
justified by his blood, we shall be saved from wrath through him.
So now there is no more need for any blood when we offer anything to God. And the anger God had for sin Jesus accepted for us.
I hope this post doesn't confuse you. It seems that everything in our lives interconnect in such a way that there are not always easy explanations. God is definitely not some simple statue or anything we can fully comprehend at this time and we are made in His Image so we too are rather complex and simple answers are not sufficient for God or us. Too, God has the answers and we need pray for them.
Don't hurry to know everything but keep doing what your doing. Searching for the truth. The negativity is hard to get rid of and when it is part of you, including the muscle pains, it can only be more difficult. Please stay in touch.