Women, women, women....

[LadyInWaiting]

The thread is from 2012 and justcus is banned.

I know...but I still like to discuss. Maybe someone will offer a counterargument to what I said.

 

[ChandlerFan]

This post says:
Not realizing that such "freedom" becomes a bondage for both genders and has a very high price tag.
Here's a question for the men. How do men become in bondage by this?

I mean, I think there are similarities and differences across both genders, but in general sex is a powerful thing. It impacts us on all levels--physically, emotionally, mentally, spiritually, etc. Our bodies respond powerfully to sex as well, and it's not hard to fall into a pattern that can eventually become addictive. When I think of being enslaved or being in bondage, I think of addiction, and porn and sex addiction is an epidemic nowadays.

 

[cwizzle07]

So in rougher words; the man becomes a beast and the woman becomes prey?

(I think I was supposed to reply to @ChandlerFan directly. I'm sorry lol I'm new.)

 

[cwizzle07]

No, this is because of sin and corruption. It's written all over in the Bible.

As a former homosexual. I agree that sin is the problem. I was not going thru a phase. I was super gay. Like gayer than most. Mind totally messed up. Sin was my problem.

 

[1christian1]

There is a pattern in today's society, that many of you may have witnessed or experienced. I will explain it. In today's society (and likely in past societies) there is a trend for men to have numerous one-night stands with multiple women. THIS IS DEVASTATING! I have so many friends (who are female) that have been torn apart inside because they have been bedded by some guy and then he goes onto the another woman. I think (and women correct me if I am wrong) that this is probably more devastating for the woman than the man involved. Being promiscuous offers a false promise of love, nearness, and comfort. And then it is stripped away in the morning when the man leaves. I say to this, "IT IS AN ABOMINATION."

Men, I ask you to make a commitment with me. Make a commitment to pray for these women. Make a commitment to have to tolerance for these sins. Make a commitment to the male children you have or may have to raise them up in a Godly manner to respect their mothers, wives, friends. Lets stop being boys and grow into manhood! That is my prayer.

God Bless, Perk

So, that truly still exists... Huh...

 

[Solemateleft]

Really annoying when guys say stuff like this because no one really knows for sure. No one has been both a man and a woman. So how could one know if it's harder for men than it is for women to say no? Everyone has a choice. Just because you're a guy doesn't mean you have to have sex before marriage.

This is true - everyone has a choice... Hey the current Bachelor was a college & professional football player and is still a virgin...
Turns out in addition to how the male brain is wired (mental frequency of sex thoughts) there is also a physiological aspect as well (see below)...

Here is a study that debunked the old myth that men think about sex every 8 seconds, but it maintains that men do still think about sex more frequently than women...
So while on a case by case basis both sexes might have the same equitable choice to resist each individual sexual opportunity; but I guess the rationale could be made that men may have the added burden of having to say no to their more frequent occurrences of temptation that tend to crop up in their brains...

How Often Do Men and Women Think about Sex?
"We found that the median number of sexual thoughts for men was 18.6 and for women it was 9.9. In contrast, the average for men was 34.2 and for women it was 18.6. Statistical tests indicated that the number of thoughts about sex was not statistically larger than the number of thoughts about food and sleep. Men had more thoughts about all three of those areas than did women. These findings paint a rather different picture of men than does the urban legend of thinking about sex many times per minute. The typical men in this sample were thinking about sex once or twice an hour, and statistically no more and no less than they were thinking about eating or sleeping."
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/...12/how-often-do-men-and-women-think-about-sex

Why is sexual temptation a bigger problem for men than for women?
Physiologically, men typically have a much stronger sex drive than women. Men naturally think about sex more often and desire sex more frequently than women do. Especially when sexual intercourse has not occurred recently, the male body has a greater desire for the release that sex provides. This is then compounded by the fact that men are far more easily stimulated by sight than women are. Simply the sight of an attractive female is sometimes enough to trigger a male’s sex drive. If a sexual thought is not immediately forsaken (with God’s help), it can become a cascading river of sexual temptation, very difficult to resist.
https://www.gotquestions.org/sexual-temptation.html

 

[p_rehbein]

Regarding the Title of the OP


Love 'em, love 'em. love 'em

 

[ChandlerFan]

So in rougher words; the man becomes a beast and the woman becomes prey?

(I think I was supposed to reply to @ChandlerFan directly. I'm sorry lol I'm new.)

Well, I don't like to generalize because there are women who struggle tremendously with sexual temptation as well. I don't think I would talk in predator-prey terms because that invokes thoughts of sexual assault. Most guys that struggle with sexual sin are not sexually assaulting anyone.

When anyone, whether man or woman, is dealing with sexual addiction, it means they have basically engaged in some sexual activity often enough and for a long enough period of time that it has formed neuropathways in the brain. When a person orgasms, the pleasure center of the brain is activated, and there is a release of chemicals into the body that make that person feel good. If you do that often enough, the brain will say, "Hey, that felt good, let's make that happen some more," and it doesn't take a lot for a person to be triggered. So when I say neuropathways, think of a dirt road and the way two clear trenches begins to develop as cars drive over it again and again. That sort of thing happens in the brain. The "easy route" then is for the person to keep engaging in sexual activity when the brain triggers them to. It is no different than the way that drug or alcohol addiction works. Both trigger the pleasure center of the brain, both release pleasure chemicals into the body, and so on. That is why it is so hard for a person to break addiction by themselves. When they are triggered, they are basically battling against their brain giving them strong urges to do this thing. But the only way to break addiction is to have a sustained period of sobriety, and even then there is always danger of relapse. It takes a great deal of accountability, self-reflection, counseling, etc.

So that's why when I talk about addiction especially, it really is bondage for the person going through it. They are going through a constant cycle of doing something their brain strongly urges them to do, then strongly regretting it, then over time becoming depressed because of their powerlessness over this monster. I hesitate to say that people struggling with addiction are victims because there are steps they can actively take to fight their addiction, but there are certainly things at play in addiction that they cannot control.

So getting back to the article about sexual freedom that you referenced earlier, having urges to engage in sexual activity is not an inherently bad thing. It's great for those who are married as it's one of the best ways for them to achieve intimacy with their spouse. But when people wander down that road and they are not married, it becomes a thing that is very difficult to control that will only cause problems for them. That is why the idea of sexual freedom, regardless of marital status, is such a dangerous idea.

 

[cwizzle07]

Well, I don't like to generalize because there are women who struggle tremendously with sexual temptation as well. I don't think I would talk in predator-prey terms because that invokes thoughts of sexual assault. Most guys that struggle with sexual sin are not sexually assaulting anyone.

When anyone, whether man or woman, is dealing with sexual addiction, it means they have basically engaged in some sexual activity often enough and for a long enough period of time that it has formed neuropathways in the brain. When a person orgasms, the pleasure center of the brain is activated, and there is a release of chemicals into the body that make that person feel good. If you do that often enough, the brain will say, "Hey, that felt good, let's make that happen some more," and it doesn't take a lot for a person to be triggered. So when I say neuropathways, think of a dirt road and the way two clear trenches begins to develop as cars drive over it again and again. That sort of thing happens in the brain. The "easy route" then is for the person to keep engaging in sexual activity when the brain triggers them to. It is no different than the way that drug or alcohol addiction works. Both trigger the pleasure center of the brain, both release pleasure chemicals into the body, and so on. That is why it is so hard for a person to break addiction by themselves. When they are triggered, they are basically battling against their brain giving them strong urges to do this thing. But the only way to break addiction is to have a sustained period of sobriety, and even then there is always danger of relapse. It takes a great deal of accountability, self-reflection, counseling, etc.

So that's why when I talk about addiction especially, it really is bondage for the person going through it. They are going through a constant cycle of doing something their brain strongly urges them to do, then strongly regretting it, then over time becoming depressed because of their powerlessness over this monster. I hesitate to say that people struggling with addiction are victims because there are steps they can actively take to fight their addiction, but there are certainly things at play in addiction that they cannot control.

So getting back to the article about sexual freedom that you referenced earlier, having urges to engage in sexual activity is not an inherently bad thing. It's great for those who are married as it's one of the best ways for them to achieve intimacy with their spouse. But when people wander down that road and they are not married, it becomes a thing that is very difficult to control that will only cause problems for them. That is why the idea of sexual freedom, regardless of marital status, is such a dangerous idea.

Interesting. Thank you!

 

[Nsofwa]

To be honest I don't know how many. I believe it must be a great deal. But even if it is women who are allowing this to happen, I think that as men, specifically men of Christ, we have a responsibility to not tolerate this. How do we not tolerate this? Through prayer. Through raising our children in a godly manner. Through committing to uphold Biblical standards for relationships.

From my own experience:
it's much easier for a woman to say NO than its is for a man.

Just think about it...

In as much as it is easy to say No...some women fall victim to such circumstances because some men dangle an illusion of commitment and sadly most women fall for it.

 

[SHANECOY]

From my own experience:
it's much easier for a woman to say NO than its is for a man.

Just think about it...

I agree with you sir.Especially if they are considered highly attractive.

 

[maire14]

where is the chatroom

 

[Gojira]

There is a pattern in today's society, that many of you may have witnessed or experienced. I will explain it. In today's society (and likely in past societies) there is a trend for men to have numerous one-night stands with multiple women. THIS IS DEVASTATING! I have so many friends (who are female) that have been torn apart inside because they have been bedded by some guy and then he goes onto the another woman. I think (and women correct me if I am wrong) that this is probably more devastating for the woman than the man involved. Being promiscuous offers a false promise of love, nearness, and comfort. And then it is stripped away in the morning when the man leaves. I say to this, "IT IS AN ABOMINATION."

Men, I ask you to make a commitment with me. Make a commitment to pray for these women. Make a commitment to have to tolerance for these sins. Make a commitment to the male children you have or may have to raise them up in a Godly manner to respect their mothers, wives, friends. Lets stop being boys and grow into manhood! That is my prayer.

God Bless, Perk

No problem with that you said, but many of today's women have become hardened and do the promiscuous thing much more easily, detaching themselves from any emotional bond with the man. Decades ago, a man might want sex and have to trick the woman into going to bed with him. Now, they make dates with each other just to screw around.

 

[Moses_Young]

No problem with that you said, but many of today's women have become hardened and do the promiscuous thing much more easily, detaching themselves from any emotional bond with the man. Decades ago, a man might want sex and have to trick the woman into going to bed with him. Now, they make dates with each other just to screw around.

Exactly. Almost straight away after a woman gives herself up, the guy thinks "this woman's not marriage material", and goes off to find one who is (hypocritical, yes, but then so if consenting to premarital sex and then complaining about it when the guy leaves).

Easy to blame the guy, but if the woman just said no, it wouldn't happen. Saying no until marriage shows the man the woman knows she is worth something, and if he is prepared to invest in her, he will wait. If not, she's saved herself from an inferior man.

 

[Lanolin]

some men dont hear the word NO

women should just say what part of NO do you not understand.

 

[Lynx]

Exactly. Almost straight away after a woman gives herself up, the guy thinks "this woman's not marriage material", and goes off to find one who is (hypocritical, yes, but then so if consenting to premarital sex and then complaining about it when the guy leaves).

Easy to blame the guy, but if the woman just said no, it wouldn't happen. Saying no until marriage shows the man the woman knows she is worth something, and if he is prepared to invest in her, he will wait. If not, she's saved herself from an inferior man.

Same with just about everything someone requires of you as a condition of remaining with you. You gotta ask yourself, "Do I really want to stay with someone who considers this such an important aspect?"

Of course if it's something like "If you don't quit drinking so much I'm gone" that's probably a GOOD sign. But things like "I'd go out with you if you lost a little weight" or "If you don't love me enough to sleep with me then you don't really love me" are indicators you really shouldn't want that person anyway.

 

[Ruby123]

I remember so many girls from school became pregnant after we all graduated and looked at me as if there was something wrong with me. Roll on some years and they are all struggling single mums.

 

[Lanolin]

the children at school who are year 2s one teacher told them off for not concentrating in class and always wanting to marry each other.
She said they were always falling in love with each other and I said to them you are far too young to get married.

 

[Gojira]

Exactly. Almost straight away after a woman gives herself up, the guy thinks "this woman's not marriage material", and goes off to find one who is (hypocritical, yes, but then so if consenting to premarital sex and then complaining about it when the guy leaves).

Easy to blame the guy, but if the woman just said no, it wouldn't happen. Saying no until marriage shows the man the woman knows she is worth something, and if he is prepared to invest in her, he will wait. If not, she's saved herself from an inferior man.

Well, that's called maturity, something the decadent sinner lacks.

 

[kinda]

Woman. W0-MAN! WoOoOoOoOoah-MAN!