Gaslighting among Christians

  • Christian Chat is a moderated online Christian community allowing Christians around the world to fellowship with each other in real time chat via webcam, voice, and text, with the Christian Chat app. You can also start or participate in a Bible-based discussion here in the Christian Chat Forums, where members can also share with each other their own videos, pictures, or favorite Christian music.

    If you are a Christian and need encouragement and fellowship, we're here for you! If you are not a Christian but interested in knowing more about Jesus our Lord, you're also welcome! Want to know what the Bible says, and how you can apply it to your life? Join us!

    To make new Christian friends now around the world, click here to join Christian Chat.
ResidentAlien

ResidentAlien

Well-known member
#1
Apr 21, 2021
8,270
3,605
113
#1
The textbook definition of gaslighting is: To manipulate someone such that they doubt their own memory, perceptions of reality, or sanity, typically for malevolent reasons.

Many Christian groups and individuals, especially those who feel their authority is being threatened resort to gaslighting. If you question these people they try to turn it around on you and make you doubt yourself; that your perception of reality isn't true and that you are the one with a problem. A very common tactic is to resort to name-calling such as Pharisee, Jezebel, or hater.

I don't think it's necessary to dwell on this; everyone has encountered these people or churches at one time or another. But I do think it's important to recognize them for what they are. They're abusers really and there's no place for abuse among Christians. If you're involved in a abusive church, don't walk, run; it's doesn't get better.
 
Dino246

Dino246

Senior Member
#2
Jun 30, 2015
25,411
13,752
113
#2
Perhaps we should include within the category of "gaslighting" the criticism of others' accounts of hearing God speak... unless the message was clearly contra-Biblical.
 
L

Locoponydirtman

Guest
#3
#3
ResidentAlien said:
The textbook definition of gaslighting is: To manipulate someone such that they doubt their own memory, perceptions of reality, or sanity, typically for malevolent reasons.

Many Christian groups and individuals, especially those who feel their authority is being threatened resort to gaslighting. If you question these people they try to turn it around on you and make you doubt yourself; that your perception of reality isn't true and that you are the one with a problem. A very common tactic is to resort to name-calling such as Pharisee, Jezebel, or hater.

I don't think it's necessary to dwell on this; everyone has encountered these people or churches at one time or another. But I do think it's important to recognize them for what they are. They're abusers really and there's no place for abuse among Christians. If you're involved in a abusive church, don't walk, run; it's doesn't get better.
Click to expand...
It happens on this forum all the time. I guess then you just have to call them out, and let them be the narcissist that they are.
 
P

presidente

Senior Member
#4
May 29, 2013
9,161
1,787
113
#4
Is there any example of gaslighting in the Bible?

I Kings 18 comes to mind, where Ahab tries to blame Elijah for troubling Israel, when actually Ahab was troubling Israel for the idolatry. Maybe Ahab blamed Elijah for the drought, since it wasn't going to rain, Elijah said, except at Elijah's word. Jezebel probably held off on trying to kill him because she wanted it to rain again someday. Then after Elijah had had the prophets of her gods killed, and it was raining anyway, she threatened to kill him.


17 And it came to pass, when Ahab saw Elijah, that Ahab said unto him, Art thou he that troubleth Israel?

18 And he answered, I have not troubled Israel; but thou, and thy father's house, in that ye have forsaken the commandments of the Lord, and thou hast followed Baalim.
 
ResidentAlien

ResidentAlien

Well-known member
#5
Apr 21, 2021
8,270
3,605
113
#5
presidente said:
Is there any example of gaslighting in the Bible?

I Kings 18 comes to mind, where Ahab tries to blame Elijah for troubling Israel, when actually Ahab was troubling Israel for the idolatry. Maybe Ahab blamed Elijah for the drought, since it wasn't going to rain, Elijah said, except at Elijah's word. Jezebel probably held off on trying to kill him because she wanted it to rain again someday. Then after Elijah had had the prophets of her gods killed, and it was raining anyway, she threatened to kill him.


17 And it came to pass, when Ahab saw Elijah, that Ahab said unto him, Art thou he that troubleth Israel?

18 And he answered, I have not troubled Israel; but thou, and thy father's house, in that ye have forsaken the commandments of the Lord, and thou hast followed Baalim.
Click to expand...
Yes, this is an excellent example. Another is the example of Micaiah in 1 Kings 22. 400 prophets prophesied that Ahab would be victorious over Ramoth-gilead. No doubt they wanted the King's approval rather than God's, and with good reason. Jehoshaphat asked if there were any other prophets and Ahab replied: "There is one more man who could consult the LORD for us, but I hate him. He never prophesies anything but trouble for me! His name is Micaiah son of Imlah." So apparently it was Micaiah's fault the Lord told him to prophesy against Ahab. Later Micaiah was put in prison and fed on bread and water for his trouble.

"Blessed are you when they revile and persecute you, and say all kinds of evil against you falsely for My sake." Matthew 5:11
 
studentoftheword

studentoftheword

Well-known member
#6
Nov 12, 2021
1,706
594
113
#6
ResidentAlien said:
They're abusers really and there's no place for abuse among Christians.
Click to expand...
OH WOW ! coming from someone who likes trash and bash with judgment and criticism of the mega Churches --I say maybe you need to take your own advice and put it into practice --just saying ----

Is Judging and Criticizing a form of abuse and gas lighting ----I think it is ------

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/.../202010/7-signs-passive-aggressive-gaslighter
Although many forms of gaslighting are overt and obtrusive (i.e. persistent and false verbal attacks, accusations, condescension, judgement, and criticism), there are also passive-aggressive forms of gaslighting that are more subtle and difficult to detect at the outset, and can carry the same negative contagion and toxic manipulativeness as overt gaslighting.
 
P

presidente

Senior Member
#7
May 29, 2013
9,161
1,787
113
#7
ResidentAlien said:
Jehoshaphat asked if there were any other prophets and Ahab replied: "There is one more man who could consult the LORD for us, but I hate him. He never prophesies anything but trouble for me! His name is Micaiah son of Imlah." So apparently it was Micaiah's fault the Lord told him to prophesy against Ahab. Later Micaiah was put in prison and fed on bread and water for his trouble.
Click to expand...
Ahab had some nerve, demanding the man prophesy the truth, then imprisoning him for doing so.

But where is the gaslighting in this story?
 
ResidentAlien

ResidentAlien

Well-known member
#8
Apr 21, 2021
8,270
3,605
113
#8
presidente said:
Ahab had some nerve, demanding the man prophesy the truth, then imprisoning him for doing so.

But where is the gaslighting in this story?
Click to expand...
He didn't like what the Lord said through Micaiah so he blamed the messenger instead of the message. All gaslighting is an attempt to make someone doubt themself; to make them think they have a problem rather than the one doing the gaslighting, or confuse them about what their own senses tell them is true.

Ahab had Micaiah thrown in prison for telling him the truth. This would cause many men to seriously doubt themself. Back then they threw people in prison; nowadays they try to shame them by calling them names.
 
Beckie

Beckie

Well-known member
#9
Feb 15, 2022
2,516
939
113
#9
Seems to me when really look back at things, thoughts, ideas i have posted i can find myself on the giving and receiving end of gaslighting.
 
Pilgrimshope

Pilgrimshope

Well-known member
#11
Sep 2, 2020
13,967
5,666
113
#11
ResidentAlien said:
The textbook definition of gaslighting is: To manipulate someone such that they doubt their own memory, perceptions of reality, or sanity, typically for malevolent reasons.

Many Christian groups and individuals, especially those who feel their authority is being threatened resort to gaslighting. If you question these people they try to turn it around on you and make you doubt yourself; that your perception of reality isn't true and that you are the one with a problem. A very common tactic is to resort to name-calling such as Pharisee, Jezebel, or hater.

I don't think it's necessary to dwell on this; everyone has encountered these people or churches at one time or another. But I do think it's important to recognize them for what they are. They're abusers really and there's no place for abuse among Christians. If you're involved in a abusive church, don't walk, run; it's doesn't get better.
Click to expand...
A lamp shines in darkness , it doesnt shine in an already well Light room
 
Lanolin

Lanolin

Well-known member
#12
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,188
113
#12
mega churches probably came about just like bigbox stores and walmart. Consolidation or merger of smaller churches.
They work with large mobile populations as peoole dont live in small towns or villages anymore.

Anyway I wouldnt knock them if they preaching the gospel and putting Jesus name out there. Besides everyone can have the opportunity to read the Bible for themselves nobody is FORCED to sit under any one teacher now its freely available.
 
Snacks

Snacks

Well-known member
#13
Feb 10, 2022
1,410
771
113
#13
ResidentAlien said:
The textbook definition of gaslighting is: To manipulate someone such that they doubt their own memory, perceptions of reality, or sanity, typically for malevolent reasons.

Many Christian groups and individuals, especially those who feel their authority is being threatened resort to gaslighting. If you question these people they try to turn it around on you and make you doubt yourself; that your perception of reality isn't true and that you are the one with a problem. A very common tactic is to resort to name-calling such as Pharisee, Jezebel, or hater.

I don't think it's necessary to dwell on this; everyone has encountered these people or churches at one time or another. But I do think it's important to recognize them for what they are. They're abusers really and there's no place for abuse among Christians. If you're involved in a abusive church, don't walk, run; it's doesn't get better.
Click to expand...
Many seminaries are the same way. I refused to tow the pervasive leftist theological line and was called in by the powers that be for refusing to take the blue pill.
 
PennEd

PennEd

Senior Member
#14
Apr 22, 2013
13,578
9,094
113
#14
ResidentAlien said:
The textbook definition of gaslighting is: To manipulate someone such that they doubt their own memory, perceptions of reality, or sanity, typically for malevolent reasons.

Many Christian groups and individuals, especially those who feel their authority is being threatened resort to gaslighting. If you question these people they try to turn it around on you and make you doubt yourself; that your perception of reality isn't true and that you are the one with a problem. A very common tactic is to resort to name-calling such as Pharisee, Jezebel, or hater.

I don't think it's necessary to dwell on this; everyone has encountered these people or churches at one time or another. But I do think it's important to recognize them for what they are. They're abusers really and there's no place for abuse among Christians. If you're involved in a abusive church, don't walk, run; it's doesn't get better.
Click to expand...
But what’s the correlation between that definition and what a gaslight is?

gas·light

a type of lamp in which an incandescent mantle is heated by a jet of burning gas.
"an era of gaslights and horse-drawn carriages
 
L

Locoponydirtman

Guest
#15
#15
PennEd said:
But what’s the correlation between that definition and what a gaslight is?

gas·light

a type of lamp in which an incandescent mantle is heated by a jet of burning gas.
"an era of gaslights and horse-drawn carriages
Click to expand...
It comes from a play called, " The Gaslight".
In the play a man continually turns down the gas lights making it more and more dim in the house, while treating his wife as though she were crazy for thinking that the lights are getting dim.
 
P

presidente

Senior Member
#16
May 29, 2013
9,161
1,787
113
#16
ResidentAlien said:
He didn't like what the Lord said through Micaiah so he blamed the messenger instead of the message. All gaslighting is an attempt to make someone doubt themself; to make them think they have a problem rather than the one doing the gaslighting, or confuse them about what their own senses tell them is true.
Click to expand...

I thought gaslighting was trying to convince someone that what happened did not happen.
 
R

Runningman

Banned
#17
Mar 4, 2020
8,614
3,691
113
#17
ResidentAlien said:
The textbook definition of gaslighting is: To manipulate someone such that they doubt their own memory, perceptions of reality, or sanity, typically for malevolent reasons.

Many Christian groups and individuals, especially those who feel their authority is being threatened resort to gaslighting. If you question these people they try to turn it around on you and make you doubt yourself; that your perception of reality isn't true and that you are the one with a problem. A very common tactic is to resort to name-calling such as Pharisee, Jezebel, or hater.

I don't think it's necessary to dwell on this; everyone has encountered these people or churches at one time or another. But I do think it's important to recognize them for what they are. They're abusers really and there's no place for abuse among Christians. If you're involved in a abusive church, don't walk, run; it's doesn't get better.
Click to expand...
People use all sorts of logical fallacies and psychological manipulation techniques, but I noticed it’s most prominent on Internet forums.

I think most of the time it’s a self-defense mechanism. It’s more convenient for most people if everyone else has a problem because it gives them the grace and liberty to not confront difficult truths, public embarrassment, or change in general.

In religion it seems to be more prominent. In my prayers it has come to me that many people love lies more than they love Jesus. Seems this has been a problem since the beginning, too.
 
TheNarrowPath

TheNarrowPath

Well-known member
#18
Jul 17, 2022
1,012
548
113
#18
Locoponydirtman said:
It happens on this forum all the time. I guess then you just have to call them out, and let them be the narcissist that they are.
Click to expand...
Yes it happened in my thread, writing about a narcissist brought out another narcissist and in the end they always reveal their true selves.
 
Jocund

Jocund

Banned
#19
Jan 14, 2021
1,599
526
113
#19
So long as you call out gaslighting when it happens and understand that other people see it too, it loses its traction as a manipulation technique.

Not all kinds of gaslighting are inherently bad. You could tell a child experiencing fear that they "never really felt fear, they just think they do" as a well to reconfigure their thoughts into thinking of themselves as brave and thus will place them in a mental state more resistant to fear. We often fall into a condition of gaslighting ourselves and subconscious (or unconsciously) cherry pick life experiences that reflect how we esteem ourselves. Sometimes this forms a basis for authentic pride (the good form of pride) and other times it can be a basis for hubristic pride (the bad kind of pride).

Moral balancing is also a kind of subconscious mental conditioning (more or less a form of self-gaslighting) that lets us feel like we are 'good people'. An example of this is in the parable of the Pharisee and the Publican.


ResidentAlien said:
A very common tactic is to resort to name-calling such as Pharisee, Jezebel, or hater.
Click to expand...
It's important not to forget that it is entirely possible that someone has a heretical Pharisee-like legalistic view, or that they can be hateful, or have infidelity between their doctrines and scripture. We should be careful not to aggravate the gaslight that these people would not exist. Sometimes the criticisms are completely fair and reflective of what the person is actually doing.
 
P

presidente

Senior Member
#20
May 29, 2013
9,161
1,787
113
#20
Jocund said:
You could tell a child experiencing fear that they "never really felt fear, they just think they do" as a well to reconfigure their thought
Click to expand...
I think that would just confuse the child. Especially a small one.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.