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It's a diverse topic. It's really hard to cold approach women at church period. Many are in relationships but volunteering at different sides of church. I just can't get into warm approach situations to save my life. I don't have any problem talking to women just many times I thought a girl was single and she was not. 1x a girl let me know she was interested in me in approaching a decade many will give me looks but are with friends or family all the time and I just can't.
Then there's the women in the rest of our society. I am tall and muscular they cut straight to the chase and will shoot their shot quick with zero confusion. All kinds of women. When I go out at night get food and a few beers alone it happens at least 1x they will cold approach.
I do understand prob many of the younger girls at church think I'm married just from my age but I'm always %100 alone unlike them. I thought volunteering and attending many church groups would have landed more chances. Men should do the pursuing asking on dates whatever but just introductions women are much better at soft low chance of failure introductions. And if they want a man typically in today's society he's getting plenty of attention and there is a lot of attractive girls at church if a guy is in warm approach situations he's probably getting indicators constantly.
Then there's the women in the rest of our society. I am tall and muscular they cut straight to the chase and will shoot their shot quick with zero confusion. All kinds of women. When I go out at night get food and a few beers alone it happens at least 1x they will cold approach.
I do understand prob many of the younger girls at church think I'm married just from my age but I'm always %100 alone unlike them. I thought volunteering and attending many church groups would have landed more chances. Men should do the pursuing asking on dates whatever but just introductions women are much better at soft low chance of failure introductions. And if they want a man typically in today's society he's getting plenty of attention and there is a lot of attractive girls at church if a guy is in warm approach situations he's probably getting indicators constantly.
Huh... Having to beat them off with a stick, are you?
It's odd that women would be throwing themselves at you like that, considering the attitude you have hysterically... er, historically taken toward women on this forum.
Me again
So what do you think about women pursuing men? Do you think its okay? Or is it out of place?
Nowadays in the world, its very normal for a woman to walk up to a man she's interested in and ask him out on a date or buy him a drink.
In my church, most of the brothers say they wouldn't mind a girl taking the first step. I personally can't, it won't come out naturally from me. I kind of freeze when I like someone and they're right in front of me lol
But then how should a woman show interest in a man without doing too much?
Too many questions...But pls tell me what you think.
I don't think there's anything wrong with a woman expressing her interest in a man.
And that goes for the woman introducing herself, and after a man takes her out. It takes two to "serve and return the ball" (to use a tennis analogy).
Most people lose interest if they think there's no common interest. And most people will certainly consider you if you're interested in them. Sounds pretty obvious to me.
The old adage is that if a woman approaches or pursues a man then the man will think she's "easy" or promiscuous. Any couple can dispel any incorrect notions quite easily. I'm not aware of any social science experiments on that adage in the past, or any comparisons with today, though it wouldn't surprise me if that data is available and it would be interesting to see... but I think most men today will agree a woman expressing interest or asking out a man is not considered disrespectful or any indication of promiscuity, but rather a current social norm and an advance of practicality.
i get txts from men asking me personal stuff. They dont do it at church but they invade your personal space, ask you out, and you got no choice but to ignore them or avoid them
or go in the bushes secretly like most young church people do.
I think there needs to be a proper system eg. if you really like someone, give them a flower. Obvs.
The.n dance with them atbthe next church dance. But what church dance, there arent any.
or go in the bushes secretly like most young church people do.
I think there needs to be a proper system eg. if you really like someone, give them a flower. Obvs.
The.n dance with them atbthe next church dance. But what church dance, there arent any.
How are they getting your number unless you are giving it to them?
And if you give them your number then why are you complaining that they are contacting you?
?
they are giving me their number, then complaining I dont contact them lol
I dont know why they give me their number, but its polite to return their call and say I cant go out with you.
I never give out my number.
of course on phones people save numbers but doesnt give them the right to keep calling you whenever. If got nothing to organise or say, dont call me. But this guy complained I didnt call him.
So I was like I dont go out at night unless to prayer meeting and he got the message. But not before trying to chat me up and say I could come over at night. ?!
But that is what men do all the time to women, imply that they want to sleep with you. Come on, christian women arent dummies. we know what men want.
of course on phones people save numbers but doesnt give them the right to keep calling you whenever. If got nothing to organise or say, dont call me. But this guy complained I didnt call him.
So I was like I dont go out at night unless to prayer meeting and he got the message. But not before trying to chat me up and say I could come over at night. ?!
But that is what men do all the time to women, imply that they want to sleep with you. Come on, christian women arent dummies. we know what men want.
Do whatever you’re comfortable with and whatever you’re feeling led to do.
I don’t think there is a right or wrong answer here. It is probably different for certain types of people, as well as for different situations and circumstances.
I think the biggest stumbling block comes when someone is trying to do something or holding off from doing something because that’s the way it’s “supposed” to be done.
I don’t think there is a right or wrong answer here. It is probably different for certain types of people, as well as for different situations and circumstances.
I think the biggest stumbling block comes when someone is trying to do something or holding off from doing something because that’s the way it’s “supposed” to be done.
If women should pursue men? My answer is no...
I believe in men's ability to lead...to get what they want...their ability to choose and decide whether the woman is worth the time...
but I think it is fine...there are men who are incredibly shy so if you really like him why not give it a try do the first move
I just can't do it lol and will never do it... but I will pursue him for life if he becomes my husband already
I believe in men's ability to lead...to get what they want...their ability to choose and decide whether the woman is worth the time...
but I think it is fine...there are men who are incredibly shy so if you really like him why not give it a try do the first move
I just can't do it lol and will never do it... but I will pursue him for life if he becomes my husband already
its better to hunt for a job than hunt for a man.
A job is more reliable I found but thats just me lol
Also you can quit a job if it doesnt work out and keep your sanity, but break ups with men are messy.
I dont like waiting round for agressive romantic stalkers to hunt me down either. But everyone is different, you do you.
also it is weird how some men seem to expect the women to show up at their door.
The thing to do is ask the girls parents first and get on their good side. But nobody every does that anymore so they shooting themselves in the foot with that approach of stealing the girl away from her family first. Because if you marry, news flash they gonna be your parents in law. You'll need to visit them and will be obligated to them...its not just you alone. You marry INTO a family.
Unless you elope but whos fantasy is that.
A job is more reliable I found but thats just me lol
Also you can quit a job if it doesnt work out and keep your sanity, but break ups with men are messy.
I dont like waiting round for agressive romantic stalkers to hunt me down either. But everyone is different, you do you.
also it is weird how some men seem to expect the women to show up at their door.
The thing to do is ask the girls parents first and get on their good side. But nobody every does that anymore so they shooting themselves in the foot with that approach of stealing the girl away from her family first. Because if you marry, news flash they gonna be your parents in law. You'll need to visit them and will be obligated to them...its not just you alone. You marry INTO a family.
Unless you elope but whos fantasy is that.
Hmmmm...HAve you had some terrible experiences in the past with men ?
Stalking and pursuing they are different...I believe...
Stalking someone is creepy 
and to think that someone is stalking you where in fact he is pursuing you is the same also I guess.... I know the difference between the two... Well, a man who asks the woman's parents? I Met one...and there are men like that I know... rare maybe but yeah you can still find them
Don't forget it's not proper for a man to touch a woman unless he is married to her. Mennonites have a system that is actually really good.
You would ask a young ladies father permission to write her letters and get to know her that way, and then you would be given permission to visit her with her family.
Good way women to avoid getting involved with the wrong man. Try that approach.
Hmmmm...HAve you had some terrible experiences in the past with men ?
Stalking and pursuing they are different...I believe...
Well, a man who asks the woman's parents? I Met one...and there are men like that I know... rare maybe but yeah you can still find them
So maybe that's the problem, Christian's trying to get non Christians dating advice and following the world, that we have lost our standards.
So tell me this, Jesus gives us room to repent when we are in Sin correct? Why can't we go back to the old ways?? Other than the fact we don't want too?
Shouldn't our walk with God inspire us to develop higher standards?
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Gojira
Guest
The old ways didn't seem to require more than "Are you attracted to the girl? Then you can approach her for marriage." I am not sure how those marriages worked, but they must have known something, because we take a lot of time getting to know someone first today, and yet we see divorces all over the place.
haha I think most gals over age of 12 have actually had terrible experiences of boys/men and if you think they dont they just havent been brave enough to tell you!
of course theres the other side of the coin too, the evil femme fatale or black widow...got to beware of those too.
Its very few that had left a totally sheltered existence and never been out into the world.
If you just talking about christians, then thats a very very small subset of christians who are actually eligible to marry these days. Even if they have good character etc. its unaffordable for many.
For most it will be their second or third time round after being gone through the mill --or been widowed or whatever and God saw that they needed to marry. Not everyone needs to marry or remarry. Its perfectly fine to stay single and happy.
of course theres the other side of the coin too, the evil femme fatale or black widow...got to beware of those too.
Its very few that had left a totally sheltered existence and never been out into the world.
If you just talking about christians, then thats a very very small subset of christians who are actually eligible to marry these days. Even if they have good character etc. its unaffordable for many.
For most it will be their second or third time round after being gone through the mill --or been widowed or whatever and God saw that they needed to marry. Not everyone needs to marry or remarry. Its perfectly fine to stay single and happy.
What do you mean? What' problem you were talking about
HOW bout this one?
"So tell me this, Jesus gives us room to repent when we are in Sin correct? Why can't we go back to the old ways?? Other than the fact we don't want too?
Can you explain this to me?
Thank you
seems like SOME christian men would just want christian women to act like strippers for them.
I am sure seoulsearch mentioned this in a post once how in her church, the men would only go there to seek out the women, or become christians just so they could have a wife. Like a meat market.
After zillions of posts complaining about how theres noone to date it in church, Im thinking there most be a problem? Instead of respecting brothers and sisters on their spiritual walks with Christ, everyone seems intent on grabbing the nearest one for a roll in the hay with a view to marriage.
I am sure seoulsearch mentioned this in a post once how in her church, the men would only go there to seek out the women, or become christians just so they could have a wife. Like a meat market.
After zillions of posts complaining about how theres noone to date it in church, Im thinking there most be a problem? Instead of respecting brothers and sisters on their spiritual walks with Christ, everyone seems intent on grabbing the nearest one for a roll in the hay with a view to marriage.