My writing skills are not good but here is the story. I was saved about 10 years ago but I started to sin again and I didn't notice how bad I was getting so about 8 months ago I tried to change and I joined a "Christian" program but it was a cult as I found out later,, My last day that I was there I had this vision of hell and later that day someone started saying you cant eat or drink or you will go to hell so I was going to leave the program because it was getting weird but I just felt weak and drank the water and the guy laughed and said did I just trick you ,,,, I'm not going to go into details of how I feel now or what has happened or how things have completely changed for me since that day because I don't want to sound mentally ill but I just want to know if 1st Corinthians 5:5 means I might have a chance at salvation "hand this man over to Satan for the destruction of the flesh, so that his spirit may be saved on the day of the Lord"
I recently started to try and find people who know how I feel because its hard to explain and this guy describes it perfect
this is copy and pasted
Basically I was a Christian, or at least I thought I was. I kept on sinning and just like it says if you blaspheme the Holy spirit its unforgivable. I ignored his promptings for years and then out of nowhere something in me was different. Literally in an instant. I have been separated from Gods presence here on earth and I cant even describe what it's like, but let me tell you that He loves everyone very much. Its like I don't exist anymore. My spirit's GONE. dead. I'm literally just existing in the flesh with no Love in me. I know I'm going to hell, and its just like the bible says those who reject him will be aware of their coming judgement. I cant stress it enough how important it is to Accept Jesus. Having no soul is like complete apathy, but not really because I cant feel anything. I just process everything around me. No enjoyment, satisfaction, nothing good. Just like the bible says everything good comes from God and it is so hard to describe what having no love, faith, or hope in you at all is like. I just exist, but I don't. I'm just waiting, and I'm aware that I'm going to hell, but it doesn't bother me, because only through love can you truly care about anything. All that's in my heart is wickedness. You know how when you think about past memories or do things you like and you get this good feeling, I have nothing. The dead know nothing. Its indescribable. All I can say is I cant stress enough how much Jesus loves all of you, and that he accepts you just how you are right now. If you can Love at all even a tiny bit, that's all he needs. Trust me when I say anything in this life is nothing compared to what will be waiting for you in heaven. I have no intuition anymore, I have no identity, and I don't mean that to sound dramatic I mean literally. Its like things I used to enjoy and hate I remember that I did like the, but I cant feel it. Nothing, youd think I would freak out, but without a soul it doesn't matter. I cant freak out, because that would require some sort of goodness to actually care. I know it sounds just like depression and apathy, but its not. Its just NOTHING.
I recently started to try and find people who know how I feel because its hard to explain and this guy describes it perfect
this is copy and pasted
Basically I was a Christian, or at least I thought I was. I kept on sinning and just like it says if you blaspheme the Holy spirit its unforgivable. I ignored his promptings for years and then out of nowhere something in me was different. Literally in an instant. I have been separated from Gods presence here on earth and I cant even describe what it's like, but let me tell you that He loves everyone very much. Its like I don't exist anymore. My spirit's GONE. dead. I'm literally just existing in the flesh with no Love in me. I know I'm going to hell, and its just like the bible says those who reject him will be aware of their coming judgement. I cant stress it enough how important it is to Accept Jesus. Having no soul is like complete apathy, but not really because I cant feel anything. I just process everything around me. No enjoyment, satisfaction, nothing good. Just like the bible says everything good comes from God and it is so hard to describe what having no love, faith, or hope in you at all is like. I just exist, but I don't. I'm just waiting, and I'm aware that I'm going to hell, but it doesn't bother me, because only through love can you truly care about anything. All that's in my heart is wickedness. You know how when you think about past memories or do things you like and you get this good feeling, I have nothing. The dead know nothing. Its indescribable. All I can say is I cant stress enough how much Jesus loves all of you, and that he accepts you just how you are right now. If you can Love at all even a tiny bit, that's all he needs. Trust me when I say anything in this life is nothing compared to what will be waiting for you in heaven. I have no intuition anymore, I have no identity, and I don't mean that to sound dramatic I mean literally. Its like things I used to enjoy and hate I remember that I did like the, but I cant feel it. Nothing, youd think I would freak out, but without a soul it doesn't matter. I cant freak out, because that would require some sort of goodness to actually care. I know it sounds just like depression and apathy, but its not. Its just NOTHING.
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