Court me, Court me Not..

[Mel85]

I was in the Ship It thread just before and TheNarrowPath (thanks sis lol) made me think about her comment with saying that there are so many singles here and why aren’t we doing anything about it? (Not in those exact words but just what I understood from it).

There’s some historic rules around that CC is not a dating site - yet we know many successful couples met on here.

It brings me to think and ask what is holding one back from getting to know each other?

Then I have another question, do some of the women here expect to be courted by a man? Are they waiting for them to make the move? Or for the men, are you too shy or timid to speak up and tell her? Are you scared of rejection?

Just wondering and thought I’d post it so I can read some of your replies lol.

Also, I do know a few of us singles who are just content in being single - and that’s perfectly fine

 

[Mii]

I don't know of anything unbiblical about the female making the first move. I sincerely hope it's not one of those "ships passing in the night" (slight pun intended) situations. My current excuse for that approach is it isn't really threatening for a female to reach out to a man but the reverse is to most females I've come across. Even asking to go to coffee (which is the most innocuous thing I can think of in person) is "too much".

So I tend to throw my hands up more often than not. Even platonic friendship it makes sense for the female to signify her intentions up front vs the man on the internet.


I get "why" people expect it to be the man that initiates biblically, I'm simply contending that it doesn't "have" to work that way...or I'm confused if so.



Most of it is probably distance and the fact that it's hard to "connect" like that online (for me at least).

I'm open to a regional singles camping trip or day hike/event someplace. Strictly platonic but with the an open door for romantic groundwork in a safe, accountable setting but I just don't think the interest is there. A good singles group is hard to find. I either get ones where people are super young and immature (early 20s) or too old (50+) and while I don't mind being around older people, it's a bit awkward and I feel a tad out of place.

Definitely sounds fun though to meet IRL just to see if any sparks happen. If nothing else it'd be potentially good fellowship.

 

[HealthAndHappiness]

One of these is prince charming.

One of these is formerly known as Prince.

The rest are just frogs.
😄

 

[HealthAndHappiness]

One of these is prince charming.

One of these is formerly known as Prince.

The rest are just frogs.
😄

Just kidding Miss Mel85.
This just reminded me of this thread. ...
https://christianchat.com/christian-singles-forum/would-you-kiss-this-face.207011/

 

[TabinRivCA]

I was in the Ship It thread just before and TheNarrowPath (thanks sis lol) made me think about her comment with saying that there are so many singles here and why aren’t we doing anything about it? (Not in those exact words but just what I understood from it).

There’s some historic rules around that CC is not a dating site - yet we know many successful couples met on here.

It brings me to think and ask what is holding one back from getting to know each other?

Then I have another question, do some of the women here expect to be courted by a man? Are they waiting for them to make the move? Or for the men, are you too shy or timid to speak up and tell her? Are you scared of rejection?

Just wondering and thought I’d post it so I can read some of your replies lol.

Also, I do know a few of us singles who are just content in being single - and that’s perfectly fine

I'm sure there are some pm's going on romantic as well as friendship wise. Also I wonder when some people leave here if they have indeed found their mate through CC..
So I'm not looking but if I was I wouldn't be shy about casually getting to know someone. I'm twice a widow and my son's dad stays in contact but for those who yearn to be married seems like time is flying by. Another Thread idea is to say 'tell us if you want to get married and we'll pray you meet the perfect one God has for you', lol, with God all things are possible🙏

 

[G00WZ]

Pretty sure most people in the singles are introverted so you're going to have a lot of cat and mouse back and forth Tom and Jerry activity for a long time before anything happens.

 

[seoulsearch]

I was in the Ship It thread just before and TheNarrowPath (thanks sis lol) made me think about her comment with saying that there are so many singles here and why aren’t we doing anything about it? (Not in those exact words but just what I understood from it).

There’s some historic rules around that CC is not a dating site - yet we know many successful couples met on here.

It brings me to think and ask what is holding one back from getting to know each other?

Then I have another question, do some of the women here expect to be courted by a man? Are they waiting for them to make the move? Or for the men, are you too shy or timid to speak up and tell her? Are you scared of rejection?

Just wondering and thought I’d post it so I can read some of your replies lol.

Also, I do know a few of us singles who are just content in being single - and that’s perfectly fine

I've often wondered if the main hindrance is distance.

I've met several people from this site in person over the years as friends, and the biggest hurdles were always saving the money to go and coordinating the times when everyone could get off work.

I've know many, many people here who found someone special, but it often didn't get to meeting in person or, even if they did meet, couldn't be sustained because of distance and money, especially if it was international.

 

[Lynx]

It brings me to think and ask what is holding one back from getting to know each other?

Then I have another question, do some of the women here expect to be courted by a man? Are they waiting for them to make the move? Or for the men, are you too shy or timid to speak up and tell her? Are you scared of rejection?

Maybe the problem is people DO get to know each other pretty well, and they're like, "Nah, I'll just stay single."

 

[tourist]

Or for the men, are you too shy or timid to speak up and tell her? Are you scared of rejection?

IMO, fear of rejection or commitment hinders a lot of peeps from pursuing a loving and enduring relationship. Fear of being burned in the process too. Pursuing a prospective relationship leading to marriage is a calculated risk. In my observation and experience, despite how it may play out, it is well worth the cost of admission. Shake the dice, let 'em fly, and let the chips fall where they may. It's all in the wrist (risk).

 

[tourist]

I've often wondered if the main hindrance is distance.

I've met several people from this site in person over the years as friends, and the biggest hurdles were always saving the money to go and coordinating the times when everyone could get off work.

I've know many, many people here who found someone special, but it often didn't get to meeting in person or, even if they did meet, couldn't be sustained because of distance and money, especially if it was international.

Distance and expense is often a huge factor in pursuing a prospective relationship. Then again, my younger brother who lives in Orlando, met a woman in the Philippines and ended up marrying her the same year. They will be celebrating their 25th anniversary later this year, and have a 22 year old son who recently graduated from college.

In my case, distance wasn't a factor as we only lived 120 miles away from each other. Apparently, expense wasn't an issue either even though I was broke at the time with my only possessions being my clothes. Jesuslives obviously saw something in me and potential. It was definitely a calculated risk on her part, but it all played out great and it's been wonderful so far for the both of us. No longer broke either.

No regrets and no looking back.

 

[Robertt]

well sometimes God performs miracles and two people meet . And they dont even think they are starting a journey, and then they look around and realsie there is someone else on this journey.

All good love stories seem to start with Freindship. those friends share and they become Great special friends.. Then it is in the hands of God for where it goes. Especually when distance is involved due to meeting on internet.

So keep looking people, nothing wrong with looking, letting God know your wants. Adam did and God created a special friend to him.

I have been telling people for a long time I am so like Adam. needing someone. So i prayed and prayed, (which is just talking to God) and the most often prayer was "Lord i need sheep in my life not a goat not a wolf" and God decided he would perform that miracle and we made contact , not as a reachign out to make long term relationship, but rreached out to let the other know how we enjoyed each others posts. Ok she reached out first as i was so fearful of rejeciton. but the feeling within me let me know that this was a friend.

And when you respect one another and share more and more . suddenly you are friends, and the Love of a friend grows to the deeper love slowly slowly.

So i state honestly . i dont know where it going, how far. but i am enjoying the journey and will stick it out until the end. Hoefulyl God stays in the midst.

Not mentioning here name here, as it is between her and I. But so you all know. LOVE is in my heart for her.

 

[Hazelelponi]

I don't know of anything unbiblical about the female making the first move. I sincerely hope it's not one of those "ships passing in the night" (slight pun intended) situations. My current excuse for that approach is it isn't really threatening for a female to reach out to a man but the reverse is to most females I've come across. Even asking to go to coffee (which is the most innocuous thing I can think of in person) is "too much".

So I tend to throw my hands up more often than not. Even platonic friendship it makes sense for the female to signify her intentions up front vs the man on the internet.


I get "why" people expect it to be the man that initiates biblically, I'm simply contending that it doesn't "have" to work that way...or I'm confused if so.



Most of it is probably distance and the fact that it's hard to "connect" like that online (for me at least).

I'm open to a regional singles camping trip or day hike/event someplace. Strictly platonic but with the an open door for romantic groundwork in a safe, accountable setting but I just don't think the interest is there. A good singles group is hard to find. I either get ones where people are super young and immature (early 20s) or too old (50+) and while I don't mind being around older people, it's a bit awkward and I feel a tad out of place.

Definitely sounds fun though to meet IRL just to see if any sparks happen. If nothing else it'd be potentially good fellowship.

I'm married but I was the initiator of everything. If I left it up to him no move would have ever been made.... Lol, all so he can claim he "caught me" hahaha

Nothing wrong with women initiating something serious

 

[Gojira]

I was in the Ship It thread just before and TheNarrowPath (thanks sis lol) made me think about her comment with saying that there are so many singles here and why aren’t we doing anything about it? (Not in those exact words but just what I understood from it).

There’s some historic rules around that CC is not a dating site - yet we know many successful couples met on here.

It brings me to think and ask what is holding one back from getting to know each other?

Then I have another question, do some of the women here expect to be courted by a man? Are they waiting for them to make the move? Or for the men, are you too shy or timid to speak up and tell her? Are you scared of rejection?

Just wondering and thought I’d post it so I can read some of your replies lol.

Also, I do know a few of us singles who are just content in being single - and that’s perfectly fine

I have four non-negotiables, and none have been met by any woman I've come across since my wife passed away in 2009.

1. She must be a real Christian.

2. She must be Biblically single.

3. There must be a mutual attraction and interest.

4. She must be sane (e.g., we all have some baggage, but there are limits).

 

[Gojira]

I'm married but I was the initiator of everything. If I left it up to him no move would have ever been made.... Lol, all so he can claim he "caught me" hahaha

Nothing wrong with women initiating something serious

I like it if a woman leaves hints so that the guy gets the queue that he won't get shot down if he tries to pursue. Unfortunately, too many women send signals that aren't signals. For example...

Met a woman at the gym several years back. Very attractive, down to earth, sweet, polite. Unsure of her spiritual situation. But, she made a point to tell me that she was single. Hugged me once, held my hand another time.

After talking to some brothers and one sister about this, I was advised to pursue her. The sister told me that she's definitely letting me know she's interested. Okay, this is coming from a woman. So....

I got shot down.

So when people tell me here that someone's interested, I take it with a grain of salt. If she speaks in some sort of code, yours truly's not going to get that. I'm fluent in English, not Womanglish.

 

[Hazelelponi]

I like it if a woman leaves hints so that the guy gets the queue that he won't get shot down if he tries to pursue. Unfortunately, too many women send signals that aren't signals. For example...

Met a woman at the gym several years back. Very attractive, down to earth, sweet, polite. Unsure of her spiritual situation. But, she made a point to tell me that she was single. Hugged me once, held my hand another time.

After talking to some brothers and one sister about this, I was advised to pursue her. The sister told me that she's definitely letting me know she's interested. Okay, this is coming from a woman. So....

I got shot down.

So when people tell me here that someone's interested, I take it with a grain of salt. If she speaks in some sort of code, yours truly's not going to get that. I'm fluent in English, not Womanglish.

I think this is why women often make the first move when they are serious. Because men don't understand much outside of engraved invitations.

The woman at your gym threw out signals, she probably did so without conscious thought, but she definitely did. So your asking wasn't out of line.

 

[Hazelelponi]

I like it if a woman leaves hints so that the guy gets the queue that he won't get shot down if he tries to pursue. Unfortunately, too many women send signals that aren't signals. For example...

Met a woman at the gym several years back. Very attractive, down to earth, sweet, polite. Unsure of her spiritual situation. But, she made a point to tell me that she was single. Hugged me once, held my hand another time.

After talking to some brothers and one sister about this, I was advised to pursue her. The sister told me that she's definitely letting me know she's interested. Okay, this is coming from a woman. So....

I got shot down.

So when people tell me here that someone's interested, I take it with a grain of salt. If she speaks in some sort of code, yours truly's not going to get that. I'm fluent in English, not Womanglish.

While people were preaching politics in America, the rest lost their faith in the God of all creation, and developed a world view consistent with a life in the flesh.

Christians need to go back to preaching the Word.

P.S. I never suggested staying away from politics - but it is never the priority.

 

[Lanolin]

what do you MEAN single and not doing anything about it.
Its not a disease!

good grief

We are christians , we spread the WORD and tell the gospel. Thats what we do. We dont go round self pitying about finding love because God already loves us, Jesus has saved us for eternity. If you dont know that then what are you even doing. here?

sorry just telling it like it is.

 

[HealthAndHappiness]

I like it if a woman leaves hints so that the guy gets the queue that he won't get shot down if he tries to pursue. Unfortunately, too many women send signals that aren't signals. For example...

Met a woman at the gym several years back. Very attractive, down to earth, sweet, polite. Unsure of her spiritual situation. But, she made a point to tell me that she was single. Hugged me once, held my hand another time.

After talking to some brothers and one sister about this, I was advised to pursue her. The sister told me that she's definitely letting me know she's interested. Okay, this is coming from a woman. So....

I got shot down.

So when people tell me here that someone's interested, I take it with a grain of salt. If she speaks in some sort of code, yours truly's not going to get that. I'm fluent in English, not Womanglish.

Sometimes you have to read minds 😄.
I'm not into missionary dating, that is dating the lost, it's ok to talk. Just lead the gal to Christ and get her to your church.
When/ if she gets baptized, then continue to get aquatinted and consider her a potential marriage prospect. Just guard your heart until that happens. That's my 2¢ and best wishes for a beauty and the beast romance.

 

[Gojira]

I think this is why women often make the first move when they are serious. Because men don't understand much outside of engraved invitations.

 

[Gojira]

While people were preaching politics in America, the rest lost their faith in the God of all creation, and developed a world view consistent with a life in the flesh.

Christians need to go back to preaching the Word.

P.S. I never suggested staying away from politics - but it is never the priority.

Not THE priority, but ought to be A priority.