Christianity and sperm donation!!!

[Jackieboy100]

Recently, I was talking to an old friend from a church I use to attend, who is a lady in her mid 40s. She is unmarried, has not been in a relationship for many years and does not have a child. She desperately wants to start a family and can afford to go it alone but she does not want to adopt. She is now considering using a sperm donor but as a Christian, I told her that she could be commiting a sin if she does that because maturbation is a sinful act. She argues that this is an option to procreate and it is in line with the will of God. I do acknowledge that in Genesis 1:28, God told mankind to; "Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and subdue it................" This seems controversial (at best) if it is taken at face value but for Christians, it could be rather challenging to know which side shoud take priority. If the side of sin wins the debate, then what can she do to make her dream of having a child a reality without compromising her Christianity?

 

[Live4Him3]

Recently, I was talking to an old friend from a church I use to attend, who is a lady in her mid 40s. She is unmarried, has not been in a relationship for many years and does not have a child. She desperately wants to start a family and can afford to go it alone but she does not want to adopt. She is now considering using a sperm donor but as a Christian, I told her that she could be commiting a sin if she does that because maturbation is a sinful act. She argues that this is an option to procreate and it is in line with the will of God. I do acknowledge that in Genesis 1:28, God told mankind to; "Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and subdue it................" This seems controversial (at best) if it is taken at face value but for Christians, it could be rather challenging to know which side shoud take priority. If the side of sin wins the debate, then what can she do to make her dream of having a child a reality without compromising her Christianity?

God's command to "be fruitful, and multiply" was given to a man and his wife, and not to a woman and a donated sperm:

Genesis chapter 1

[27] So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them.
[28] And God blessed them, and God said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it: and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over every living thing that moveth upon the earth.

 

[Jackieboy100]

God's command to "be fruitful, and multiply" was given to a man and his wife, and not to a woman and a donated sperm:

Genesis chapter 1

[27] So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them.
[28] And God blessed them, and God said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it: and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over every living thing that moveth upon the earth.

Non of that is in dispute or anything else, for that matter. I'm just merely highlighting that the state of procreation in the world today is obviously far removed from the original intentions of God, based on the scriptures. I threw this out there as I would like to give sincere advise without deviating from my Christian values, which is central to my existence.
Thanks for chiming in! God bless you!

 

[cinder]

Recently, I was talking to an old friend from a church I use to attend, who is a lady in her mid 40s. She is unmarried, has not been in a relationship for many years and does not have a child. She desperately wants to start a family and can afford to go it alone but she does not want to adopt. She is now considering using a sperm donor but as a Christian, I told her that she could be commiting a sin if she does that because maturbation is a sinful act. She argues that this is an option to procreate and it is in line with the will of God. I do acknowledge that in Genesis 1:28, God told mankind to; "Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and subdue it................" This seems controversial (at best) if it is taken at face value but for Christians, it could be rather challenging to know which side shoud take priority. If the side of sin wins the debate, then what can she do to make her dream of having a child a reality without compromising her Christianity?

Without knowing all the details, I'm inclined to think this sounds like a very selfish act. She wants a child, to what end? Self fulfillment? Because she's lonely; because she wants love? How will being raised in a single parent home affect this child? And why does she need to artificially create a child to be brought up in a less than ideal (or God designed) environment, instead of offering her love to an already existing child that desperately needs a loving home?

As a childless single 40 year old woman myself, I just can't say this is a good thing. Also from a practical standpoint, pregnancy complicaitons (and chance of birth defects I believe) increase and chances of getting pregnant decrease the older you get. Any pregnancy she has is likely to be a high risk pregnancy. And what happens if her happy family dreams are shattered by a special needs child that she insisted on creating? Which is more important, turning one's dreams into reality or not compromising your faith? Maybe you can do both, but if you can't which one wins out?

 

[JohnDB]

Recently, I was talking to an old friend from a church I use to attend, who is a lady in her mid 40s. She is unmarried, has not been in a relationship for many years and does not have a child. She desperately wants to start a family and can afford to go it alone but she does not want to adopt. She is now considering using a sperm donor but as a Christian, I told her that she could be commiting a sin if she does that because maturbation is a sinful act. She argues that this is an option to procreate and it is in line with the will of God. I do acknowledge that in Genesis 1:28, God told mankind to; "Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and subdue it................" This seems controversial (at best) if it is taken at face value but for Christians, it could be rather challenging to know which side shoud take priority. If the side of sin wins the debate, then what can she do to make her dream of having a child a reality without compromising her Christianity?

Is God the Author/Creator of all life?

So if God doesn't grant life there is no life?

Doesn't God use the simple things to confound the wise?

However.....

Both parents are needed to raise a child. A father and a mother.

 

[HealthAndHappiness]

I know a lady who adopted a precious little girl from a communist Chinese adoption agency. I appreciate her saving that life and bringing her to a place where she can hear the gospel and be raised by a loving mother. It's a bad situation made much better for a child with no parents who was discarded for her birth defect. Praise the Lord for that lady!

That said, we know the Scriptures tell us that God's plan is marriage of two saved people. The child NEEDS a daddy. The fruit of that union is the only legitimate way recommended. The woman has hit a time in her life when her biological clock is ringing, so she's desperate. Desperate people sometimes make unwise decisions. If she had a family member who died and left a child, and she was the best option, that's one thing. This is another.

 

[Jackieboy100]

She wants a child, to what end? Self fulfillment? Because she's lonely; because she wants love? How will being raised in a single parent home affect this child? And why does she need to artificially create a child to be brought up in a less than ideal (or God designed) environment, instead of offering her love to an already existing child that desperately needs a loving home?

Honestly, I think fate played a big role in the situation that she's in but I try not to judge people becasue only they know what they're feeling. Career building and not wanting to settle in terms of a relationship, contributed to her situation and I think also that she has been relying on all the advancement in science/medicine, propagated by the media, to acheive what she told me is her dream. As a Christian, all I can do is help her as best I could within the confines of my belief system, which is the word of God. Maybe if I am able to convince her that her salvation is most important, she would be more likely to consider other options to address the maternal urges that she is obviously experiencing.

 

[Jackieboy100]

Both parents are needed to raise a child. A father and a mother.

I agree with you on the key word here NEED, but I'm sure you can attest to the fact that the prevalence of single parent families have been on the rise for a number of decades now and producing excellent members of society, just as much as two-parent family units.

 

[Jackieboy100]

I know a lady who adopted a precious little girl from a communist Chinese adoption agency. I appreciate her saving that life and bringing her to a place where she can hear the gospel and be raised by a loving mother. It's a bad situation made much better for a child with no parents who was discarded for her birth defect. Praise the Lord for that lady!

To God be the glory! I love adoption stories. One of my favorite is the adoption story in the TV series "The Little Couple - Bill & Jen". These stoies are heartwarming.

The child NEEDS a daddy. The fruit of that union is the only legitimate way recommended.

I again agree (as I did earlier in another response) that children need both male and female influence in their upbringing but in my opinion the male does not necessarily have to be the biological daddy.........for many reasons that you and I can logically think of.

 

[JohnDB]

I agree with you on the key word here NEED, but I'm sure you can attest to the fact that the prevalence of single parent families have been on the rise for a number of decades now and producing excellent members of society, just as much as two-parent family units.

Tell her to ask God....
God gives good gifts to his kids....not bad things. He delights in giving us the impossible and highly improbable gifts....just so we know that He cares. Even when we haven't been the golden child.

I remember story of Zachariah....good guy who was sent into the Temple for the evening incense and to pray for the Messiah. Way too old to have kids anymore. He always wanted a child.

But Gabriel said "YOUR prayerS have been answered...."
Meaning he was gonna have a baby by his wife Elizabeth. He was sent in to pray for the Messiah to come as was the rote memorized prayer he was to offer with the incense....he got that too.

God does things like this....like it's nothing but candy in his pocket to hand out to his kids.

We think we know the future and what is coming...God really does. We have expectations and God can destroy them in a heartbeat. I have learned this lesson the hard way...too many times to not know it by now. I've had to learn to just be content and hope...God wants to give us the desires of our hearts if they are good gifts....

 

[Jackieboy100]

Tell her to ask God....
God gives good gifts to his kids....not bad things. He delights in giving us the impossible and highly improbable gifts....just so we know that He cares. Even when we haven't been the golden child.

I remember story of Zachariah....good guy who was sent into the Temple for the evening incense and to pray for the Messiah. Way too old to have kids anymore. He always wanted a child.

But Gabriel said "YOUR prayerS have been answered...."
Meaning he was gonna have a baby by his wife Elizabeth. He was sent in to pray for the Messiah to come as was the rote memorized prayer he was to offer with the incense....he got that too.

God does things like this....like it's nothing but candy in his pocket to hand out to his kids.

We think we know the future and what is coming...God really does. We have expectations and God can destroy them in a heartbeat. I have learned this lesson the hard way...too many times to not know it by now. I've had to learn to just be content and hope...God wants to give us the desires of our hearts if they are good gifts....

Well stated! I could have given you multiple emojis that are befitting of your contribution here. For sure, she can not escape the very critical need for some very strong and intent communication with God, through persistent prayer (and probably fasting). The way you outline your take here certainly helps in advising her and also help her stay in faith. Thanks a mil, JohnDB! God bless you!

 

[HealthAndHappiness]

To God be the glory! I love adoption stories. One of my favorite is the adoption story in the TV series "The Little Couple - Bill & Jen". These stoies are heartwarming.

I again agree (as I did earlier in another response) that children need both male and female influence in their upbringing but in my opinion the male does not necessarily have to be the biological daddy.........for many reasons that you and I can logically think of.

We're on the same page JB.
I think this is good to bring up in a Christian forum because it is a modern issue that most would not have courage to address even from the pulpit. I can't think of many sermons where anything close to this subject was talked about, so it needs addressed by the Bible that God's people know what to do when faced with this temptation.

There was a somewhat similar situation in the book of Genesis when Abraham and Sarah were given a promise from God. They decided to do things their own way and you know what happened after they chose Sarah's handmaid to have that child. That is the closest example that I can think of.
That is found in chapter 16 if you want to read that.
Have a great day!

https://thekingjamesversionbible.com/genesis-16

 

[JohnDB]

We're on the same page JB.
I think this is good to bring up in a Christian forum because it is a modern issue that most would not have courage to address even from the pulpit. I can't think of many sermons where anything close to this subject was talked about, so it needs addressed by the Bible that God's people know what to do when faced with this temptation.

There was a somewhat similar situation in the book of Genesis when Abraham and Sarah were given a promise from God. They decided to do things their own way and you know what happened after they chose Sarah's handmaid to have that child. That is the closest example that I can think of.
That is found in chapter 16 if you want to read that.
Have a great day!

https://thekingjamesversionbible.com/genesis-16

See,
Abraham and Sarah believed that it was Sarah's fault in some way that they had no children....that's why they gave Hagar a shot at bearing Abraham a son....and the results were disastrous. Hagar got uppity because of the relationship and was eventually banished. The resulting son fathered the Ishmaelites that has caused the Jews no end of grief to this day.

That's the result of trying to do things on your timing instead of allowing God to do things in His timing. God grants life...He does give you things at times because of your persistence....but they aren't always as pleasant.

 

[Jackieboy100]

I think this is good to bring up in a Christian forum because it is a modern issue that most would not have courage to address even from the pulpit. I can't think of many sermons where anything close to this subject was talked about, so it needs addressed by the Bible that God's people know what to do when faced with this temptation.

You just "hit the nail on the head" there! Being a Christian in the 21st century is "no mean feat" in my opinion and if you are a relatively new/young Christian, you will find yourself often struggling to keep your faith alive, especially in a world where there is constant barrage of ideals, inventions, phenomenons etc. designed to make modern-day life easier. This is probably a contributing factor to the empty or closing down churches all over the place. What pastors were taught in seminaries are now redundant because most of them are just not equipped to reconcile the scriptures with some of the variables of modern Christianity. Helping the young Christians of today understand the scriptures, how it applies to their salvation and why it is important, is key to the sustainability of the faith.

There was a somewhat similar situation in the book of Genesis when Abraham and Sarah were given a promise from God. They decided to do things their own way and you know what happened after they chose Sarah's handmaid to have that child. That is the closest example that I can think of.

I read it and saw how Hagar bore Ishmael to Abraham but it was against the will of God and this brought with it some unintended consequences for even the innocent parties. As JohnDB so aptly described it above.
This woman was sobbing as she was lamenting her sorrow to me and yet still I have to make her understand that as a Christian, she will be in disobedience to the word of God. Hopefully, she will not succumb to the different forces behind her desperation and eventually find guidance and direction from God.
Thanks for yet another great input. I always enjoy reading your views. God bless you!

 

[Lanolin]

sounds like (stupid) white privelige honestly

what she never considered adoption? why not.

Adoption is biblical, its what God does for us. There are many orphans who need a mother

 

[Lanolin]

and a father

 

[Jackieboy100]

and a father

Even fostering is a great starting point but I guess the many different pressures she's under were just very overwhelming, but I'm somewhat happy she decided to come cry on my shoulders. A role I don't take lightly!

 

[Lanolin]

well
raising children wont be easy no matter how she does it,

not many people would choose to do it alone. It takes a village as they say, but it also takes God, if He's not in it then any child does not have a chance not having Him for a Father

 

[cinder]

I agree with you on the key word here NEED, but I'm sure you can attest to the fact that the prevalence of single parent families have been on the rise for a number of decades now and producing excellent members of society, just as much as two-parent family units.

To call that fact you need some sort of hard data. Yes there are single parents who are amazing heroes that pretty much spend their entire lives to raise their children well. And some of those children end up doing well. So no bad talk about people who find themselves in or take on a single parent role But the big picture shows and has shown for pretty much all my life being raised by your two biological parents is a huge advantage that makes it less likely you will grow up poor or spend time in jail and more likely that you'll graduate college .

https://ifstudies.org/blog/less-pov...two-parents-mean-for-black-and-white-children

 

[cinder]

Honestly, I think fate played a big role in the situation that she's in but I try not to judge people becasue only they know what they're feeling. Career building and not wanting to settle in terms of a relationship, contributed to her situation and I think also that she has been relying on all the advancement in science/medicine, propagated by the media, to acheive what she told me is her dream. As a Christian, all I can do is help her as best I could within the confines of my belief system, which is the word of God. Maybe if I am able to convince her that her salvation is most important, she would be more likely to consider other options to address the maternal urges that she is obviously experiencing.

This woman was sobbing as she was lamenting her sorrow to me and yet still I have to make her understand that as a Christian, she will be in disobedience to the word of God. Hopefully, she will not succumb to the different forces behind her desperation and eventually find guidance and direction from God.

This will probably sound harsh, but it sounds like she made a choice about the direction her life would go and what she would put her time and energy into and now isn't happy with the results of her choice, but choices have consequences and limitations. What happens when the choice to have a child turns out in an unexpected way and she isn't happy with the results? Still sounds like this is mainly about her happiness and fulfillment and she has no problem using other people and even creating a people in pursuit of that goal.