Dating an atheist?

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westong

New member
#1
May 15, 2022
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1
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#1
Ok so I'm a 16 year old male and I am currently dating an atheist girl. We seem to agree on most topics, moral and surface level, except for religion. This has thrown a huge wrench in the relationship. I am very keen on people's sexual purity; no sex before marriage, no running around in skimpy outfits, etc., it's probably the thing I'm sternest on. Because she is not religious, she doesn't align in those morals. Before we were together, she had pictures of her in bikinis plastered all over her social medias (she has about 1000 followers and a public account), which she took down at my request. She also constantly wears crop-tops, very short shorts, and otherwise extremely skimpy outfits. These would typically be reasons for me to put an end to things, but she's genuinely the most kind girl I've ever dated, and she likes me more than any girl I've ever dated, which makes doing that very difficult. Anyone care to give their two cents on the issue, and what I should do?
 
JesusLives

JesusLives

Senior Member
#3
Oct 11, 2013
14,554
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Welcome to Christian Chat. You stated you are 16 and I can tell you that you have a long time to date and figure things out. I will also tell you that satan has a great way to sidetrack Christians and make things look better than they really are. Your kind girlfriend for example and the question you need to ask yourself is How strong of a Christian am I?

Are your thoughts that you might get her to change her mind and become a Christian too? She is young also and may change, however, there must be a lot of praying on your part and keeping to your Christian beliefs and not compromising them and you loosing your way instead of her being converted.

Pray about your relationship with her if this is something God wants you to do and be in. If she takes you away from God then you have your answer if you get closer to God then all the better. God can change people so I'm not going to tell you what to do this is something you need to work out between you and God and the girl but I can tell you that if you really pray earnestly about it God will give you the right answer of what to do. Listen to His voice and proceed with caution.

Glad to have you with us on CC..
 
HealthAndHappiness

HealthAndHappiness

Well-known member
#4
Jul 7, 2022
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Almost Heaven West Virginia
#4
westong said:
Ok so I'm a 16 year old male and I am currently dating an atheist girl. We seem to agree on most topics, moral and surface level, except for religion. This has thrown a huge wrench in the relationship. I am very keen on people's sexual purity; no sex before marriage, no running around in skimpy outfits, etc., it's probably the thing I'm sternest on. Because she is not religious, she doesn't align in those morals. Before we were together, she had pictures of her in bikinis plastered all over her social medias (she has about 1000 followers and a public account), which she took down at my request. She also constantly wears crop-tops, very short shorts, and otherwise extremely skimpy outfits. These would typically be reasons for me to put an end to things, but she's genuinely the most kind girl I've ever dated, and she likes me more than any girl I've ever dated, which makes doing that very difficult. Anyone care to give their two cents on the issue, and what I should do?
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Are you some Dad with teenagers posting this? A 16 year old guy doesn't normally ask for advice like this.
 
R

Runningman

Banned
#5
Mar 4, 2020
8,614
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#5
westong said:
Ok so I'm a 16 year old male and I am currently dating an atheist girl. We seem to agree on most topics, moral and surface level, except for religion. This has thrown a huge wrench in the relationship. I am very keen on people's sexual purity; no sex before marriage, no running around in skimpy outfits, etc., it's probably the thing I'm sternest on. Because she is not religious, she doesn't align in those morals. Before we were together, she had pictures of her in bikinis plastered all over her social medias (she has about 1000 followers and a public account), which she took down at my request. She also constantly wears crop-tops, very short shorts, and otherwise extremely skimpy outfits. These would typically be reasons for me to put an end to things, but she's genuinely the most kind girl I've ever dated, and she likes me more than any girl I've ever dated, which makes doing that very difficult. Anyone care to give their two cents on the issue, and what I should do?
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I dated a girl who wasn’t a Christian at first. I kept talking to her, showing her what Jesus is like, living a lifestyle of love, grace, and mercy and eventually I have her the gospel and she converted. She didn’t have a hardline belief that there is no God like your girlfriend, so you have a bit more of an uphill climb than I did, but it’s not insurmountable.

Many people were atheists before they were Christian. One thing you should be sure not to do is aggressively try to convert her as that would probably only create arguments and eventually repulse her completely against Christ and you.

So my advice is to try to get her interested in Christ. Atheism is actually a very weak viewpoint that isn’t easily defended so if she’s honest with herself then you may be able to get her to incrementally shift towards a theistic perspective.

I got an atheist to claim agnosticism before. Not perfect, but that’s progress. Jesus and the apostles used miracles to prove the divine and we can still do that today. Do you believe with me that, if we pray, your girlfriend can get a sign from God?
 
Moses_Young

Moses_Young

Well-known member
#6
Sep 15, 2019
9,974
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#6
westong said:
Ok so I'm a 16 year old male and I am currently dating an atheist girl. We seem to agree on most topics, moral and surface level, except for religion. This has thrown a huge wrench in the relationship. I am very keen on people's sexual purity; no sex before marriage, no running around in skimpy outfits, etc., it's probably the thing I'm sternest on. Because she is not religious, she doesn't align in those morals. Before we were together, she had pictures of her in bikinis plastered all over her social medias (she has about 1000 followers and a public account), which she took down at my request. She also constantly wears crop-tops, very short shorts, and otherwise extremely skimpy outfits. These would typically be reasons for me to put an end to things, but she's genuinely the most kind girl I've ever dated, and she likes me more than any girl I've ever dated, which makes doing that very difficult. Anyone care to give their two cents on the issue, and what I should do?
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My advice would be to leave her alone. You can waste your life waiting and trying to get her to believe. There are Christian girls who have the qualities you seek, and who would make suitable partners if your belief in Christ is sincere. Look at the heart as God does. Don't be like Samson who fell in love with a philistine. Yes, he came back to Christ in the end - but what a wreck of a life. Is that what you want for you and your children?
 
HealthAndHappiness

HealthAndHappiness

Well-known member
#8
Jul 7, 2022
10,256
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Almost Heaven West Virginia
#8
Moses_Young said:
Lol. But Dads with teenagers normally do? ;)
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Lol.
Actually it sounds like a preacher who is throwing out a hypothetical to help teens, or adults learn a spiritual lesson. No offense to the OP. He might really be a 16 year old with a good question, looking to do the right thing.
 
Jocund

Jocund

Banned
#9
Jan 14, 2021
1,599
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#9
"But to the rest speak I, not the Lord: If any brother hath a wife that believeth not, and she be pleased to dwell with him, let him not put her away. And the woman which hath an husband that believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him. For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy. But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace." - 1 Corinthians 7:12-15 KJV
 
PennEd

PennEd

Senior Member
#10
Apr 22, 2013
13,578
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#10
westong said:
Ok so I'm a 16 year old male and I am currently dating an atheist girl. We seem to agree on most topics, moral and surface level, except for religion. This has thrown a huge wrench in the relationship. I am very keen on people's sexual purity; no sex before marriage, no running around in skimpy outfits, etc., it's probably the thing I'm sternest on. Because she is not religious, she doesn't align in those morals. Before we were together, she had pictures of her in bikinis plastered all over her social medias (she has about 1000 followers and a public account), which she took down at my request. She also constantly wears crop-tops, very short shorts, and otherwise extremely skimpy outfits. These would typically be reasons for me to put an end to things, but she's genuinely the most kind girl I've ever dated, and she likes me more than any girl I've ever dated, which makes doing that very difficult. Anyone care to give their two cents on the issue, and what I should do?
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Give her THE Gospel, and see what she does with it.

Here it is to present to her:

THE Gospel unto Salvation:
God wrapped Himself in human flesh in the form of His Son, Jesus the Messiah. Conceived by the Holy Spirit, born of a virgin. He suffered, was crucified, and died to pay OUR sin debt. He was raised to life from the grave to prove He had defeated death. If you confess Jesus as Lord, and believe in your heart that His Father resurrected Him to Life on the 3rd day, you WILL be saved. You will be filled, and sealed with the Holy Spirit, who will empower ALL to turn from their sins. The sin of adultery, lying, stealing, homosexuality, gossip, slander, drunkenness, covetousness, etc... And most importantly the sin of DEAD works, or a moral life in an attempt to EARN Salvation. He will also equip you to love like He did and do good works for HIS Glory.
 
EternalFire

EternalFire

Well-known member
#11
Jan 3, 2019
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351
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#11
westong said:
Ok so I'm a 16 year old male and I am currently dating an atheist girl. We seem to agree on most topics, moral and surface level, except for religion. This has thrown a huge wrench in the relationship. I am very keen on people's sexual purity; no sex before marriage, no running around in skimpy outfits, etc., it's probably the thing I'm sternest on. Because she is not religious, she doesn't align in those morals. Before we were together, she had pictures of her in bikinis plastered all over her social medias (she has about 1000 followers and a public account), which she took down at my request. She also constantly wears crop-tops, very short shorts, and otherwise extremely skimpy outfits. These would typically be reasons for me to put an end to things, but she's genuinely the most kind girl I've ever dated, and she likes me more than any girl I've ever dated, which makes doing that very difficult. Anyone care to give their two cents on the issue, and what I should do?
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I encourage you to watch this video. In it, the participants address what you're doing and call it "missionary dating."

What should you do? Several proverbs discuss foreseeing potential danger ahead. Take heed, therefore, to passages such as Proverbs 27:12.

"A prudent man foreseeth the evil, and hideth himself; But the simple pass on, and are punished."

 
HealthAndHappiness

HealthAndHappiness

Well-known member
#12
Jul 7, 2022
10,256
4,299
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Almost Heaven West Virginia
#12
westong said:
Ok so I'm a 16 year old male and I am currently dating an atheist girl. We seem to agree on most topics, moral and surface level, except for religion. This has thrown a huge wrench in the relationship. I am very keen on people's sexual purity; no sex before marriage, no running around in skimpy outfits, etc., it's probably the thing I'm sternest on. Because she is not religious, she doesn't align in those morals. Before we were together, she had pictures of her in bikinis plastered all over her social medias (she has about 1000 followers and a public account), which she took down at my request. She also constantly wears crop-tops, very short shorts, and otherwise extremely skimpy outfits. These would typically be reasons for me to put an end to things, but she's genuinely the most kind girl I've ever dated, and she likes me more than any girl I've ever dated, which makes doing that very difficult. Anyone care to give their two cents on the issue, and what I should do?
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Westong,

I'm pressed for time, so later I'm planning to give the abridged version and bullet points rather than the book. I included a sermon from an independent Baptist pastor who is qualified to answer your question as well. He is particularly suited to answer your question. I have had other life experiences, so I can answer others. It includes an adventure worthy of a best selling book chapter if I have to say so myself. It is for young men with a desire to have God on their side. Maybe that will be later IF you take time to listen to that sermon first.

When he had graduated highschool, Steven met an agnostic feminist young lady like your own. After being witnessed to around twenty times, She finally got saved. She started showing profound spiritual understanding and growth. They dated and he met her family. She proved that she was serious about following him, the Lord and having long term goals in common that are in obedience to God's Word/ will. They moved from Europe to America. One note before I get ahead of myself is that...
They refrained from intimacy and were both virgins until marriage, which spared them a life of challenges as well as strengthened intimacy during their entire marriage....12 children later.
Bookmark this link and listen periodically because it's brief, concise, and biblical. You'll never hear this from a United Gay Church of the Purple Haired Feminist. 😉

This is more valuable than gold.

http://www.faithfulwordbaptist.org/091717a.mp3

Have a good day Westong.

H& Happiness
 
TheNarrowPath

TheNarrowPath

Well-known member
#13
Jul 17, 2022
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#13
Well I married one and its rare to be able to bring them to Christ. My faith went downhill in that relationship so I wouldnt even recommend dating one. Just saying.
 
R

Randy4u2c

Active member
#14
Sep 13, 2022
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#14
westong said:
Ok so I'm a 16 year old male and I am currently dating an atheist girl. We seem to agree on most topics, moral and surface level, except for religion. This has thrown a huge wrench in the relationship. I am very keen on people's sexual purity; no sex before marriage, no running around in skimpy outfits, etc., it's probably the thing I'm sternest on. Because she is not religious, she doesn't align in those morals. Before we were together, she had pictures of her in bikinis plastered all over her social medias (she has about 1000 followers and a public account), which she took down at my request. She also constantly wears crop-tops, very short shorts, and otherwise extremely skimpy outfits. These would typically be reasons for me to put an end to things, but she's genuinely the most kind girl I've ever dated, and she likes me more than any girl I've ever dated, which makes doing that very difficult. Anyone care to give their two cents on the issue, and what I should do?
Click to expand...
Keep your moral values, pray for her to have a change of heart, and set a good example
 
HealthAndHappiness

HealthAndHappiness

Well-known member
#15
Jul 7, 2022
10,256
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Almost Heaven West Virginia
#15
Randy4u2c said:
Keep your moral values, pray for her to have a change of heart, and set a good example
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Good thoughts and intentions Randy.
There's a problem like there is with so many who post on the young adult and teen forums. They post once and move on that afternoon. That leaves a bunch of more mature adults talking into the phone while thinking there's someone else on the other line.
 
mustaphadrink

mustaphadrink

Senior Member
#16
Dec 13, 2013
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372
83
#16
westong said:
Ok so I'm a 16 year old male and I am currently dating an atheist girl. We seem to agree on most topics, moral and surface level, except for religion. This has thrown a huge wrench in the relationship. I am very keen on people's sexual purity; no sex before marriage, no running around in skimpy outfits, etc., it's probably the thing I'm sternest on. Because she is not religious, she doesn't align in those morals. Before we were together, she had pictures of her in bikinis plastered all over her social medias (she has about 1000 followers and a public account), which she took down at my request. She also constantly wears crop-tops, very short shorts, and otherwise extremely skimpy outfits. These would typically be reasons for me to put an end to things, but she's genuinely the most kind girl I've ever dated, and she likes me more than any girl I've ever dated, which makes doing that very difficult. Anyone care to give their two cents on the issue, and what I should do?
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Are you mad!! Do not, do not, do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. Are you telling me you know better than God?
 
K

kaylagrl

Guest
#18
#18
westong said:
Ok so I'm a 16 year old male and I am currently dating an atheist girl. We seem to agree on most topics, moral and surface level, except for religion. This has thrown a huge wrench in the relationship. I am very keen on people's sexual purity; no sex before marriage, no running around in skimpy outfits, etc., it's probably the thing I'm sternest on. Because she is not religious, she doesn't align in those morals. Before we were together, she had pictures of her in bikinis plastered all over her social medias (she has about 1000 followers and a public account), which she took down at my request. She also constantly wears crop-tops, very short shorts, and otherwise extremely skimpy outfits. These would typically be reasons for me to put an end to things, but she's genuinely the most kind girl I've ever dated, and she likes me more than any girl I've ever dated, which makes doing that very difficult. Anyone care to give their two cents on the issue, and what I should do?
Click to expand...

I know it doesn't seem this way to you, but 16 is so very young. If you are a believer and Christ follower, the only answer is to politely and carefully end the relationship. Let her know why you are ending it. I cannot tell you how many people I have known that have cried many tears and suffered so much grief because they got involved in this type of relationship. I once got myself entangled with an unbeliever who lied about wanting to become a believer. It all ended very badly. So I hope that you will pray on this and reconsider. God has a person out there for you, this is not that person. Pray for her and perhaps in the future she might come to the Lord. But now is not the right relationship, not the right time.
 
A

Asterismos

Banned
#19
Oct 15, 2022
53
14
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#19
westong said:
Ok so I'm a 16 year old male and I am currently dating an atheist girl. We seem to agree on most topics, moral and surface level, except for religion. This has thrown a huge wrench in the relationship. I am very keen on people's sexual purity; no sex before marriage, no running around in skimpy outfits, etc., it's probably the thing I'm sternest on. Because she is not religious, she doesn't align in those morals. Before we were together, she had pictures of her in bikinis plastered all over her social medias (she has about 1000 followers and a public account), which she took down at my request. She also constantly wears crop-tops, very short shorts, and otherwise extremely skimpy outfits. These would typically be reasons for me to put an end to things, but she's genuinely the most kind girl I've ever dated, and she likes me more than any girl I've ever dated, which makes doing that very difficult. Anyone care to give their two cents on the issue, and what I should do?
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Hello friend. I'm helping you. No criticism or judgment. Second Corinthians 6:14. Be not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? And what communion hath light and darkness? Your spirtual growth will be effected. The outsiders will impede on your spiritual growth. And your open to their influence and heathen traditions. Find a girl who is converted to christianity, and has working knowledge of Gods word. Truth is. The heathen will drag you down with them. James chapter 4. You cant be friends with the world and buddies with Jesus at the same time. Romans 6. Your either servant of righteousness or servant of sin. They cant coexist together. If you carry your cross daily and follow Jesus, theirs no room for darkness, and you cant compromise your values and beliefs with heathen. I hope this helps you.
 
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