Deuteronomy 22:28–29 Why don't Church singles group encourage singles to get married?

[JohnB]

Anyone who thinks they should t


Please don't use Deut. to tell people who fall into fornication that they should now get married.

That is the worse advice you could ever give anyone in your church. Talk to your pastor and he will tell you that he would not tell people that.

Usually those who fall into fornication should separate and not see each other. They should focus on their love for Jesus and grow strong enough that they would never do that again with anyone else.

No one who has just fallen into fornication is marriageable material. You are locking in your mistake with an ungodly person by marrying them. This is not good advice at all.


I don't know if you know this or not, but most good Church Singles Groups are made up of individual members who don't want people there who think fornication on a date is not a big deal. They would rather those kinds of people stay at the bars and not come to their meetings.

It's not the CHURCH that is putting restrictions on them, they are the ones that come up with the rules. They have decided for themselves that they want there to be plenty of boundaries and methods in place that have been proved to be successful in insuring that they do not fall into the sin of fornication or get even close to it with any kind of arousal type heavy petting nonsense.

Not because the CHURCH put restrictions on them but because they Love Jesus and HATE SIN.

And many good Churches also have good methods in place to weed out those members who are just there to prey on vulnerable women. They can spot a lust filled snake in a New York minute and they will not allow them to join.

Many sold out to the Lord Jesus loving saints do not even like singles groups because they are notorious for weird people who's salivation is questionable. They prefer outreaches and ministries in the church as a means to meet people who are all about serving Jesus and others.

Singles groups are not very popular today because of the creepy people that ruin them.

The verse is very clear. You just don't like it and that's your opinion.

 

[JohnB]

Good for you, just don't apply it to others who have other callings.

Jesus was very clear when it comes to being single or married. "For there are eunuchs who were born that way; others were made that way by men; and still others live like eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. The one who can accept this should accept it.”… " Matt. 19:12 Way too many churches are trying to push singles into a life they were never meant for. I will never accept the singles life as being best.

 

[oyster67]

I have had married Christians tell me, if a single Christian even thinks about sex, they have sinned. Try telling that to a teenager. They will laugh at you. If you're going to say, just thinking about sex is a sin, you might as well go out and have sex. Because you're saying there's no difference between thinking it and doing it. You don't understand what Jesus said in the Greek and the intention. You look at an English text and assume what the intent is.

There are different ways to think about sex. Not all consist of lust.

 

[oyster67]

Way too many churches are trying to push singles into a life they were never meant for.

Yes. Some in one direction, others in another. We need to council people to be open and pliable to the will of God in each individual's circumstance and life.

I will never accept the singles life as being best.

If that is God's will for you, then I suggest that you do accept it as best. His ways are higher than our ways.

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[JohnB]

Yes. Some in one direction, others in another. We need to council people to be open and pliable to the will of God in each individual's circumstance and life.



If that is God's will for you, then I suggest that you do accept it as best. His ways are higher than our ways.

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I will never accept it as being the best, because it is not.

 

[JohnB]

There are different ways to think about sex. Not all consist of lust.

The two becoming one. Lust is not always a bad thing. The Greek word for lust is a strong desire.
When Jesus had wine with his followers, he said he "longed" to have it in heaven with them. The Greek word for "long" he used, means lust. Look it up.

 

[Gideon300]

I had a friend who went along with no kissing before marriage. Shortly after she got married, I saw her at church. As she walked toward me I said, "How is everything going?" As she passed me she said, "If he doesn't like the way I kiss it's too bad" That is something they could have dealt with before they got married. Some people are just cold when it comes to physical touching. Do you really want to marry someone like that?

Sex is a vital part of marriage. Someone needs to let her know that.

 

[Gideon300]

Good churches are going to make sure that the members understand that fornication will send them to hell.
They can no longer live that way as they did before they were saved.
So they will teach them how to be careful to not fall into temptation.
Because willful deliberate fornicating will result in eternal damnation. Do not be deceived. That is why they are careful to teach them how not to put themselves in a position where it will be easy to fall.

Paul said much more about the benefit of remaining single. His advice is to those who are serious about serving Christ.

He said they would be happier if they were like him. And if they married they had not sinned but they would have trouble in the flesh.

Sure he said that not everyone had this gift and that it was better to marry than to burn but that was not intended to negate all the other advice he gave about the value of undistracted life of remaining single.

Let's not misrepresent what Paul said about the value self control.



Read 1 Cor 7

1Now in response to the matters you wroteA about: “It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman.”B 2But because sexual immorality is so common,a a each man should have sexual relations with his own wife,b and each woman should have sexual relations with her own husband. 3A husband should fulfill his marital dutya to his wife, and likewise a wife to her husband. 4A wife does not have the right over her own body, but her husband does. In the same way, a husband does not have the right over his own body, but his wife does. 5Do not deprivea one another — except when you agree for a time, to devote yourselves toA prayer. Then come together again; otherwise, Satan may tempt you because of your lack of self-control. 6I say this as a concession, not as a command. 7I wish that all people were as I am. But each has his own gifta from God, one person has this gift, another has that.

8I say to the unmarriedA and to widows:a It is good for them if they remain as I am. 9But if they do not have self-control,a they should marry, since it is better to marryb than to burn with desire.

25Now about virgins:A I have no command from the Lord, but I do give an opinion as one who by the Lord’s mercya is faithful.b 26Because of the present distress, I think that it is good for a man to remain as he is. 27Are you bound to a wife? Do not seek to be released. Are you released from a wife? Do not seek a wife. 28However, if you do get married,a you have not sinned, and if a virginA marries, she has not sinned. But such people will have trouble in this life,B and I am trying to spare you.

29This is what I mean, brothers and sisters: The time is limited,a so from now on those who have wives should be as though they had none, 30those who weep as though they did not weep, those who rejoicea as though they did not rejoice, those who buy as though they didn’t own anything, 31and those who use the world as though they did not make full use of it. For this world in its current form is passing away.a

32I want you to be without concerns. The unmarried man is concerned about the things of the Lord — how he may pleasea the Lord. 33But the married man is concerned about the things of the world — how he may please his wife —  34and his interests are divided. The unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the things of the Lord,a so that she may be holy both in body and in spirit. But the married woman is concerned about the things of the world — how she may please her husband. 35I am saying this for your own benefit, not to put a restraint on you, but to promote what is proper and so that you may be devoted to the Lord without distraction.

36If any man thinks he is acting improperly toward the virgin he is engaged to, if she is getting beyond the usual age for marriage, and he feels he should marry — he can do what he wants. He is not sinning; they can get married. 37But he who stands firm in his heart (who is under no compulsion, but has control over his own willa) and has decided in his heart to keep her as his fiancée, will do well. 38So, then, he who marries his fiancée does well, but he who does not marry will do better.A

Fornication won't send someone to hell, it will disqualify them from God's kingdom. They are not the same thing. Do you limit God's grace to human behaviour? Is one sin, one time unforgivable? How about heart attitude? Many sin inwardly. By your standard of judgement, no one gets into heaven.
1 Corinthians 6:
…8Instead, you yourselves cheat and do wrong, even against your own brothers! 9 Do you not know that the wicked will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor men who submit to or perform homosexual acts, 10nor thieves, nor the greedy, nor drunkards, nor verbal abusers, nor swindlers, will inherit the kingdom of God.…

Please note that this was written to the Church, not the world.

 

[mustaphadrink]

In Deuteronomy 22:28–29 GOD said if a couple has been found to having sex, they are to get married and the man must pay the father a brides price. Paul encouraged singles who lack self control to get married. In the church singles groups I've been around they keep pushing self-control, no one on one dating only group dating, even no touching until after you're married. It seems GOD and Paul gave practical advice.

The question is why don't church singles groups encourage people to get married?

Siiiiiiiiiiimple!

If they were married there would be no singles group.

 

[JohnB]

It sounds like he was concerned that he would have no restraint before marriage. Kissing is not a big deal I dont think, now they are married they can practice a lot. Maybe its an oral hygiene issue? Ive never heard anyone dealing with this before, mind you I cant think of anyone who would admit it.

I remember talking to her before they got married, She told me they were making themselves pure before marriage so GOD would bless the marriage. I told her she was making a mistake and playing games with GOD. Thinking she could make herself pure by not having any physical contact before marriage. There is nothing in the bible about that.

 

[oyster67]

I will never accept it as being the best, because it is not.

Please accept that God's grace is sufficient for each moment. Enjoy the little things in life. I find that having a cat or dog helps. I talk to Amelia constantly, and more often than not, she talks back.

 

[oyster67]

It sounds like he was concerned that he would have no restraint before marriage. Kissing is not a big deal I dont think, now they are married they can practice a lot. Maybe its an oral hygiene issue? Ive never heard anyone dealing with this before, mind you I cant think of anyone who would admit it.

It depends on background and environment. I fellowship with a Mennonite group. Touching and kissing is for marriage unless it is a Holy Kiss. It sounds restrictive at first, but it does prevent lots of emotional hurt and pain in the long run.

I am close enough to Jesus now so that loneliness is not a problem. Having a little cat helps also. She shows appreciation for my attention and even watches out for me like a watchdog.

I do enjoy conversing with you and the other ladies and look forward to meeting you in person someday. I do hope it is soon.

 

[oyster67]

The two becoming one. Lust is not always a bad thing. The Greek word for lust is a strong desire.
When Jesus had wine with his followers, he said he "longed" to have it in heaven with them. The Greek word for "long" he used, means lust. Look it up.

Lust is sin, by its biblical definition. Lets call healthy sexual relationship by a nicer word, like romance or something.

No, Jesus does not long to lust with us in Heaven. No, we do not have to go to the Greeks to figure this stuff out. It is elementary.

I will pray that you find contentment in your present state. That just might even be a prerequisite for God giving you a wife.

1 Timothy 6:6
“But godliness with contentment is great gain.”

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[JohnB]

Lust is sin, by its biblical definition. Lets call healthy sexual relationship by a nicer word, like romance or something.

No, Jesus does not long to lust with us in Heaven. No, we do not have to go to the Greeks to figure this stuff out. It is elementary.

I will pray that you find contentment in your present state. That just might even be a prerequisite for God giving you a wife.

1 Timothy 6:6
“But godliness with contentment is great gain.”

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1937 epithyméō (from 1909 /epí, "focused on" intensifying 2372 /thymós, "passionate desire") – properly, to show focused passion as it aptly builds on (Gk epi, "upon") what a person truly yearns for; to "greatly desire to do or have something – 'to long for, to desire very much' " (L & N, 1, 25.12).

 

[oyster67]

I remember talking to her before they got married, She told me they were making themselves pure before marriage so GOD would bless the marriage.

There is nothing wrong with that. It is commendable as well as biblical. Purity and holiness are good things to strive for.

1 Peter 1:16
“Because it is written, Be ye holy; for I am holy.”

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[JohnB]

Please accept that God's grace is sufficient for each moment. Enjoy the little things in life. I find that having a cat or dog helps. I talk to Amelia constantly, and more often than not, she talks back.

Jesus said. “Only those whom God helps. Some are born as eunuchs, some have been made eunuchs by others, and some choose not to marry for the sake of the Kingdom of Heaven. Let anyone accept this who can.”. Matt 19:11...I am one who cannot accept it. It was never given to me to accept being single.

 

[oyster67]

1937 epithyméō (from 1909 /epí, "focused on" intensifying 2372 /thymós, "passionate desire") – properly, to show focused passion as it aptly builds on (Gk epi, "upon") what a person truly yearns for; to "greatly desire to do or have something – 'to long for, to desire very much' " (L & N, 1, 25.12).

Matthew 5:28
“But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.”

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[JohnB]

Matthew 5:28
“But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.”

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So you think, if single person just thinks about sex they have sinned? If so, if just thinking about sex is a sin, you might as well go out and have sex, as a single person. By the way, two unmarried people having sex is not adultery. Jesus was speaking about a married person.

 

[oyster67]

Jesus said. “Only those whom God helps. Some are born as eunuchs, some have been made eunuchs by others, and some choose not to marry for the sake of the Kingdom of Heaven. Let anyone accept this who can.”. Matt 19:11...I am one who cannot accept it. It was never given to me to accept being single.

We are to be content with whatsoever our Master provides. Whining like children is not productive and will get us nowhere fast.

I love you brother, but please seek the peace and contentment that only the Lord can provide. Until then, you are not fit for a wife anyway.

 

[JohnB]

We are to be content with whatsoever our Master provides. Whining like children is not productive and will get us nowhere fast.

I love you brother, but please seek the peace and contentment that only the Lord can provide. Until then, you are not fit for a wife anyway.

you completely ignored what Jesus said about being able to accept it.