Daughter Following the Wrong Path
- Thread starter candersenlota
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That is exactly to what it refers lol We used to tell people we moved to our own little piece of Heaven on Earth, and Heaven on Earth comes complete with weeds that will not die, animals that would rather eat me than look at me, and BUGS the size of my face!. From there the Garden of Weeden was born. I have a sign for my garden fence and everything. 
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Thank you all so much for the overwhelming response, I've been gone for a while. I took into account all of these advices and comments. I had a talk with my daughter and I won't lie, it was hard a first we fought a lot and right now I think we're onto a good path of getting back on good terms. She admitted to me not only did she have sex, she also did things like drink alcohol and smoke weed. I was immensely disappointed and that's what made our fights more frequent. I lost a lot of trust in her. She and the muslim boy are still together, I tried to get her to break up with him but she didn't want too. My husband and I are trying to be more understanding for their relationship. I don't know if it's a good idea but we met the boy and had dinner with him just to get to know him. He seems like a nice and polite boy, but I just can't shake the fact that he's from a religion that advocates for violence and abuse. I have also met his mother, she wears a hijab which just made me feel weird, we met during a school gala night. I didn't chat with her for long. My daughter still hasn't come back to church on a regular basis. She came once because I had to beg her to. Right now, we're slowly getting back on good terms, she's listening to me more, I've began to let her boyfriend come over but only if they stay in the living room and when I'm home. I know they're still intimate with each other but I'm trying to be more understanding, it's just hard...
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I have thought about this but I also have a feeling they know too but they don't really mind. She's at their house quite a bit and from what I've seen his parents are pretty open. I also found out the father is French-Algerian which means he's probably okay with everything. I'm just a bit nervous to talk to them. I was planning on maybe having a dinner with the parents but I'm not interested in forming any connections with them.
There is nothing there for you to understand or accept. Your husband and yourself are too soft.
At the end of the day, if she is determined to do as she pleases you can't stop her, but outline the consequences.
You shoud never, never accept their relationship. The boy is not nice and polite. He is only putting on a show for you because he knows you are soft.
They are kids, and they have no business having sex. The boy well knows this, but does not care.
You should have a meeting with the parents, and let them know you are angry that their boy is having sex with your child, and you do not want them together because of their different beliefs.
The parents of the boy wont want to be bothered with you, and they will then tell their son to stay away from yours.
You should also let the parents know that in the event that your daughter becomes pregnant, they and their boy will have to take up that responsibility.
At the end of the day, if she is determined to do as she pleases you can't stop her, but outline the consequences.
You shoud never, never accept their relationship. The boy is not nice and polite. He is only putting on a show for you because he knows you are soft.
They are kids, and they have no business having sex. The boy well knows this, but does not care.
You should have a meeting with the parents, and let them know you are angry that their boy is having sex with your child, and you do not want them together because of their different beliefs.
The parents of the boy wont want to be bothered with you, and they will then tell their son to stay away from yours.
You should also let the parents know that in the event that your daughter becomes pregnant, they and their boy will have to take up that responsibility.
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If you get your husband on here, I will have a discussion with him. Just make sure I'm notified by a direct response. I will be busy this weekend and might not get a chance to reply until Monday.
I'm not looking to argue. It just sounds like you have a desperate situation that you all may regret for a long time.
Take care,
H&H
I'm not looking to argue. It just sounds like you have a desperate situation that you all may regret for a long time.
Take care,
H&H
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@candersenlo
Most Muslims aren't blowing up buildings. You might think of their religion as endorsing violence and oppression. But many Muslims think of the US, supposedly a (formerly) majority Christian nation. It exports porn all over the world. Women dress in scanty clothes. The US invades countries as it sees fit, and its government promotes acceptance of homosexuality as normal, and now this trans agenda.
I spent about 12 years in Indonesia. My impression is that most Indonesian Muslims think suicide bombing is crazy.
I have some Muslim in-laws. I am not sure what my mother-in-law is. She was raised Muslim, got baptized, later went back to Islam. She expressed an interest in following Christ when she visited us a few years back when we were over there. I think she still dresses with the head covering like most women in her city, at least her age. I don't see a problem with women wearing headdresses. Some Christians do in Muslim countries, not so much in Indonesia. It beats high skirts and low blouses. Some of the Christian women we read about in the Bible probably wore head coverings.
I have a sister-in-law raised Christian (complicated family history) who married a man from a special province of Indonesia that has Islamic law. I wasn't in Indonesia at the time, but I heard the man converted, got baptized, but they went to live up there. The wife now wears a head covering and the kids are taught Islam, rather than Christianity. I saw her and her child at a funeral. I don't think I've ever seen the husband even on a video chat.
According to Muslim teaching, their men may marry women who are Muslim, Christian, or Jewish. But they have to raise the children Muslim. He may be laid back about religion now. A laid back Muslim, about religion, would probably be easier to live with. But the downside is, he may not be very serious about God. But if He gets serious, then what? Does he become a radical Muslim? This is the storyline to a movie I saw once, "Not Without My Daughter" where the American woman Sally Fields plays ends up in Iran during the revolution, forced to wear a veil and required to study the Al-Qur'an.
You can put your foot down with your daughter as best you can. No cash. No car. You monitor her movements. You could also try to win this boy and his family to Christ. Then there is also your own daughter who needs to repent and follow Christ.
I've got four kids. None of them are wild. From the time the oldest was two, about every night, we've had some kind of Bible study. I started with a Bible story book, while my energetic son tried to touch the pages, and would tear them if we weren't careful. We usually read through a passage just about every night. I told my kids no dating until they were old enough to get married. One of my older teens got a Valentine from a boy, who is actually a Christian who loves Christ. We have him over at a Bible study. We let them got to a dance and a few events as 'friends' with some rules and restrictions, no kissing, etc.. He seems very respectful of the whole thing. They don't go off by themselves. Other people are around.
From our nightly Bible studies, and talking with the kids, it does seem like some values are embedded in them. Faith in Christ, not denying their faith, no sex before marriage, etc.
Most Muslims aren't blowing up buildings. You might think of their religion as endorsing violence and oppression. But many Muslims think of the US, supposedly a (formerly) majority Christian nation. It exports porn all over the world. Women dress in scanty clothes. The US invades countries as it sees fit, and its government promotes acceptance of homosexuality as normal, and now this trans agenda.
I spent about 12 years in Indonesia. My impression is that most Indonesian Muslims think suicide bombing is crazy.
I have some Muslim in-laws. I am not sure what my mother-in-law is. She was raised Muslim, got baptized, later went back to Islam. She expressed an interest in following Christ when she visited us a few years back when we were over there. I think she still dresses with the head covering like most women in her city, at least her age. I don't see a problem with women wearing headdresses. Some Christians do in Muslim countries, not so much in Indonesia. It beats high skirts and low blouses. Some of the Christian women we read about in the Bible probably wore head coverings.
I have a sister-in-law raised Christian (complicated family history) who married a man from a special province of Indonesia that has Islamic law. I wasn't in Indonesia at the time, but I heard the man converted, got baptized, but they went to live up there. The wife now wears a head covering and the kids are taught Islam, rather than Christianity. I saw her and her child at a funeral. I don't think I've ever seen the husband even on a video chat.
According to Muslim teaching, their men may marry women who are Muslim, Christian, or Jewish. But they have to raise the children Muslim. He may be laid back about religion now. A laid back Muslim, about religion, would probably be easier to live with. But the downside is, he may not be very serious about God. But if He gets serious, then what? Does he become a radical Muslim? This is the storyline to a movie I saw once, "Not Without My Daughter" where the American woman Sally Fields plays ends up in Iran during the revolution, forced to wear a veil and required to study the Al-Qur'an.
You can put your foot down with your daughter as best you can. No cash. No car. You monitor her movements. You could also try to win this boy and his family to Christ. Then there is also your own daughter who needs to repent and follow Christ.
I've got four kids. None of them are wild. From the time the oldest was two, about every night, we've had some kind of Bible study. I started with a Bible story book, while my energetic son tried to touch the pages, and would tear them if we weren't careful. We usually read through a passage just about every night. I told my kids no dating until they were old enough to get married. One of my older teens got a Valentine from a boy, who is actually a Christian who loves Christ. We have him over at a Bible study. We let them got to a dance and a few events as 'friends' with some rules and restrictions, no kissing, etc.. He seems very respectful of the whole thing. They don't go off by themselves. Other people are around.
From our nightly Bible studies, and talking with the kids, it does seem like some values are embedded in them. Faith in Christ, not denying their faith, no sex before marriage, etc.
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Update. I had dinner with his family yesterday, I asked my daughter to give me her boyfriends mothers number and they accepted to come over for dinner. To be respectful, I made prepared a meal that is halal for them. It was an interesting dinner. But, overall, my husband and I told them how we felt about their relationship. We didn't mention religion as one of the problems, but we said she was too young and we wanted her to focus on school and church and we didn't feel comfortable with her dating and having sex yet. Their response was quite surprising to me. First of all, they knew about the two dating from the moment it started. Apparently, he liked her and then asked her out. We got mad at them for not informing us about it and the parents apologized to us and explained they were worried and thought it would be better if our daughter was the one to tell us. They then told us, they didn't have a problem with the relationship and they weren't strict parents and are and I quote: 'we prefer to let out children experience things for themselves without us helicopter parenting them'. They told us they lived in Geneva and Paris (I thought only the dad was born in France but his mother grew up there as well) before moving to the US and they let their kids drink responsibly upon turning 16 and allow weed, but smoking cigs to them is haram. To me, they just seem crazy Muslims who were have western European views on adolescence. We told them we simply didn't feel comfortable with the idea that they're sexually active and we wanted them to stop because they're too young. The parents agreed that they would talk to their son but they weren't going to pressure them to break up. That whole conversation just made the dinner incredibly awkward and definitely made things worse with my daughter. The boy's parents told the boy about our conversation who then told my daughter: and now she's furious at us for talking to them about her and her boyfriends sexual relationship. She's barely 17. My husband and I decided enough was enough and even brought her to church this morning, which she was angry about but right now, I couldn't care less. We even grounded her again, she's not allowed to stay after-school and her phone gets confiscated as soon as she steps foot into our house. My husband and I even agreed on bringing her to youth group, we're going to tell the youth group leader to keep his eye on her and waiting for her inside the car, making sure she doesn't go anywhere.
I feel like I'm losing control of my kids, even my second child (15 year old son) has began watching shows that we don't allow in the house like Euphoria, RuPaul's Drag Race and Sex Ed, and also installing apps like Tiktok and Snapchat so we confiscated his electronics.
I feel like I'm losing control of my kids, even my second child (15 year old son) has began watching shows that we don't allow in the house like Euphoria, RuPaul's Drag Race and Sex Ed, and also installing apps like Tiktok and Snapchat so we confiscated his electronics.
Just had a great teaching at jglm.org 2nd service today 10-09-22, on maturity, spirit, soul, body, looks like this spiritually immature muslim is enticing a spiritually immature daughter with what to God is the wrong way.
Reacting in anger is immaturity, I am thankful you know the right way, I know I will continue in prayer for you all.
blessings and many thanks for the update.
Reacting in anger is immaturity, I am thankful you know the right way, I know I will continue in prayer for you all.
blessings and many thanks for the update.
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