J
Sounds like a platitude when people say "I've been cheated on" but real survivors know just how devasting this kind of deception can be to personal and professional life.
I can tell my story now without any fear of re-living what was a nightmare I thought I could never wake up from. I hope it brings some hope and re-assurance to other survivors who are still struggling with or trying to overcome the emotional trauma of cheating in an intimate relationship.
This was years ago when I was in the third/qualifying year of my BSc in Agriculture studies. It was the summer of that year and I was required to do a module called 'Farm Practice'. My colleagues and I attended practicals in the different courses that made up the program like agronomy, animal science, agricultural engineering (my favorite), soil science etc. They were each allocated a week and that meant six weeks of farm acivities.
My boyfriend at the time was a mining engineer in a mining facility located approx. 17 miles from my college. We had been together for about 2 yrs at this point but we knew each other from school days. We were very close, or so I thought, based on our almost daily exchange of letters (this was before mobile/cell phones) and the routine visits and times we spent together. During this farm training exercise, I would go over on Friday evenings at the end of my week in the farm and then return early the following Monday morning to resume the next farm activity. It was all plain sailing until about my fourth week, when the devil reared its ugly head!
There were no incidents or occurences throughout the weekend spent with him that called for alarm or suspicion and so I left promptly as always, the following Monday morning to get back to my farm training. This time, however, I got only halfway through my journey when the vehicle I was travelling in broke down in one of the remote villages along the way to my college. I was stuck there for a few hours until one of the many lecturers who had research projects in the mine came by. He offered me a ride back to the mine and because he was going over there briefly and returning before the end of the day, I thought it made perfect sense for me to go back and besides it was getting to mid day and I was starving.
When I got back to my boyfriend's flat, his official vehicle was parked out front, so I knew he was home for lunch, I just did not know that he was having a different kind of lunch. It was rainning, one of those heavy torrentials typical of the tropics. I was excited that I was going to surprise him that I was back. I entered through the backdoor, went past the kitchen into the dining area and then the livingroom but he was not in any of those locations, so I thought he must be in the bedroom watching TV. He was not in there either. As the main bathroom door was open, I took a peek in there. Again, he was not in there. The only place left that he could be in was the spare/guest room and the door was shut. I could not think of any reason why he would be in there during his lunch break with the door shut. At this point, I knew something was up. In that instance, I felt an ominous sign and my heart started beating so fast, I thought it was going to jump out my chest. I went up close to the door to listen in but the rain was so heavy and loud I could not hear any sound from within. I was consumed with anxiety and many different thoughts were racing through my mind about what to do next. So I decided to try the door handle and if it was locked I was just going to stand there and wait for him to come out to head back to work. The door was unlocked and the sight that greeted me was one that I would not wish on my worst enemy. I pulled the door back shut and sank to the floor of the wall next to the door. I just knew things were never going to be the same again. I wanted to throw up but couldn't. There wasn't anything in my stomach. I could not cry, get angry, speak or do anything. I was just numb. I still don't know how I picked myself up and got to the back porch. I was in a daze by the time he came back there to meet me. It was a few minutes but it felt like I had been there for hours. This was the beginning of a nightmare that had many different parts (if there's such a thing).
The rest, as they say, is history! And yeah, I survived!
I can tell my story now without any fear of re-living what was a nightmare I thought I could never wake up from. I hope it brings some hope and re-assurance to other survivors who are still struggling with or trying to overcome the emotional trauma of cheating in an intimate relationship.
This was years ago when I was in the third/qualifying year of my BSc in Agriculture studies. It was the summer of that year and I was required to do a module called 'Farm Practice'. My colleagues and I attended practicals in the different courses that made up the program like agronomy, animal science, agricultural engineering (my favorite), soil science etc. They were each allocated a week and that meant six weeks of farm acivities.
My boyfriend at the time was a mining engineer in a mining facility located approx. 17 miles from my college. We had been together for about 2 yrs at this point but we knew each other from school days. We were very close, or so I thought, based on our almost daily exchange of letters (this was before mobile/cell phones) and the routine visits and times we spent together. During this farm training exercise, I would go over on Friday evenings at the end of my week in the farm and then return early the following Monday morning to resume the next farm activity. It was all plain sailing until about my fourth week, when the devil reared its ugly head!
There were no incidents or occurences throughout the weekend spent with him that called for alarm or suspicion and so I left promptly as always, the following Monday morning to get back to my farm training. This time, however, I got only halfway through my journey when the vehicle I was travelling in broke down in one of the remote villages along the way to my college. I was stuck there for a few hours until one of the many lecturers who had research projects in the mine came by. He offered me a ride back to the mine and because he was going over there briefly and returning before the end of the day, I thought it made perfect sense for me to go back and besides it was getting to mid day and I was starving.
When I got back to my boyfriend's flat, his official vehicle was parked out front, so I knew he was home for lunch, I just did not know that he was having a different kind of lunch. It was rainning, one of those heavy torrentials typical of the tropics. I was excited that I was going to surprise him that I was back. I entered through the backdoor, went past the kitchen into the dining area and then the livingroom but he was not in any of those locations, so I thought he must be in the bedroom watching TV. He was not in there either. As the main bathroom door was open, I took a peek in there. Again, he was not in there. The only place left that he could be in was the spare/guest room and the door was shut. I could not think of any reason why he would be in there during his lunch break with the door shut. At this point, I knew something was up. In that instance, I felt an ominous sign and my heart started beating so fast, I thought it was going to jump out my chest. I went up close to the door to listen in but the rain was so heavy and loud I could not hear any sound from within. I was consumed with anxiety and many different thoughts were racing through my mind about what to do next. So I decided to try the door handle and if it was locked I was just going to stand there and wait for him to come out to head back to work. The door was unlocked and the sight that greeted me was one that I would not wish on my worst enemy. I pulled the door back shut and sank to the floor of the wall next to the door. I just knew things were never going to be the same again. I wanted to throw up but couldn't. There wasn't anything in my stomach. I could not cry, get angry, speak or do anything. I was just numb. I still don't know how I picked myself up and got to the back porch. I was in a daze by the time he came back there to meet me. It was a few minutes but it felt like I had been there for hours. This was the beginning of a nightmare that had many different parts (if there's such a thing).
The rest, as they say, is history! And yeah, I survived!
-
2
- Show all
, and I finally decided that enough was enough.