-
Christian Chat is a moderated online Christian community allowing Christians around the world to fellowship with each other in real time chat via webcam, voice, and text, with the Christian Chat app. You can also start or participate in a Bible-based discussion here in the Christian Chat Forums, where members can also share with each other their own videos, pictures, or favorite Christian music.
If you are a Christian and need encouragement and fellowship, we're here for you! If you are not a Christian but interested in knowing more about Jesus our Lord, you're also welcome! Want to know what the Bible says, and how you can apply it to your life? Join us!
To make new Christian friends now around the world, click here to join Christian Chat.
S
The way this website is, you will probably never tell your story.
I started telling my story in the very first post I made. Why? Because I need too! If I kept everything to myself all the time, there would be no communication. No communication means no interaction. No interaction means there will never be any friendships, period! Why? Because all relationships of any kind, feed off of communication. My other choice is to die alone. Cause if I don't speak out, then I just fade into the background and will be forgotten forever.
If you got friendships in your real life. People you can trust with your stories. Then stick to them. Why talk to any of us?
I started telling my story in the very first post I made. Why? Because I need too! If I kept everything to myself all the time, there would be no communication. No communication means no interaction. No interaction means there will never be any friendships, period! Why? Because all relationships of any kind, feed off of communication. My other choice is to die alone. Cause if I don't speak out, then I just fade into the background and will be forgotten forever.
If you got friendships in your real life. People you can trust with your stories. Then stick to them. Why talk to any of us?
Nope, I disagree. I was just replying to your original post. And I dont know the way this website is, Ive only been on here less than a week so I dont know what you mean by that.
Do I need to tell my story or any story? No I dont.
Or...If I do I will do it at my own pace, I can be selective with whom I share details with. Youre assuming a lot about me just from a few posts back and forth and I think that is unfair.
Especially your last statement its actually quite judgemental.
Do I need to tell my story or any story? No I dont.
Or...If I do I will do it at my own pace, I can be selective with whom I share details with. Youre assuming a lot about me just from a few posts back and forth and I think that is unfair.
Especially your last statement its actually quite judgemental.
-
3
-
1
- Show all
Well likely a number of them are simply divorced, and divorced and in your 40s is a bit of a cliché for a reason. This puts many of them in recovery mode.
We also have anti-male/female groups openly discouraging marriage, even among Christians.
Also teachings among Christians on finding a mate has raised people's standards to near perfection.
As well as a rise in speaking against dating at all, instead teaching things like courtship. This greatly limits your available options as it is the unpopular view.
Unrealistic views on dating and marriage. The number of 18-25 year olds depressed and hopeless because they aren't married or dating is surprising. Such people are likely to remain single because their desperation is obvious, or end up in bad marriages, in which they'll be divorced and reluctant to remarry.
Not to mention the frequency of threads started here on how someone can't find a 'real' Christian to date/marry. Ironically the male to female ratio to these complaints are fairly even.
I'm sure there is more to go on but all these things make for a lot of explanation about being single in your 40s.
We also have anti-male/female groups openly discouraging marriage, even among Christians.
Also teachings among Christians on finding a mate has raised people's standards to near perfection.
As well as a rise in speaking against dating at all, instead teaching things like courtship. This greatly limits your available options as it is the unpopular view.
Unrealistic views on dating and marriage. The number of 18-25 year olds depressed and hopeless because they aren't married or dating is surprising. Such people are likely to remain single because their desperation is obvious, or end up in bad marriages, in which they'll be divorced and reluctant to remarry.
Not to mention the frequency of threads started here on how someone can't find a 'real' Christian to date/marry. Ironically the male to female ratio to these complaints are fairly even.
I'm sure there is more to go on but all these things make for a lot of explanation about being single in your 40s.
-
1
-
1
-
1
- Show all
I agree with you. If you feel to be more particular about sharing personal details on a public forum, then that's what you should do.
And it seems having someone try to pressure and guilt you into sharing more (someone that doesn't even know you) only increases the legitimacy of your reasons. Tis quite creepy to watch them pressure you. Perhaps leaving this blog (and avoiding the user) may he better than arguing with them?
I have a rule about disagreements. I won't go beyond two posts before moving on. You won't change their mind and you'll just find yourself frustrated in the long run for no good reason.
And it seems having someone try to pressure and guilt you into sharing more (someone that doesn't even know you) only increases the legitimacy of your reasons. Tis quite creepy to watch them pressure you. Perhaps leaving this blog (and avoiding the user) may he better than arguing with them?
I have a rule about disagreements. I won't go beyond two posts before moving on. You won't change their mind and you'll just find yourself frustrated in the long run for no good reason.
-
1
-
1
-
1
- Show all
Many here simply do not wish to be married.
Now in the westernized societies the economic and safety imperative of marriage is not as well defined as in other cultures.
I'm not saying that there is really a lessened desire...just that the attitudes of men and women desiring to live in a family unit meet squarely and conflict with their own desires of self actualization.
We don't have the ability to be in a successful relationship....both from a careful choosing or in behavioral modification and attitudes standpoint.
("It IS all about me" is what the behavioral norm is regardless of what they say)
And that's the truth.
Now in the westernized societies the economic and safety imperative of marriage is not as well defined as in other cultures.
I'm not saying that there is really a lessened desire...just that the attitudes of men and women desiring to live in a family unit meet squarely and conflict with their own desires of self actualization.
We don't have the ability to be in a successful relationship....both from a careful choosing or in behavioral modification and attitudes standpoint.
("It IS all about me" is what the behavioral norm is regardless of what they say)
And that's the truth.
A
40's and not married,
Well I had the radio on in the car the other night (not something I normally do) a secular station that had it's nighttime request/dedication program and was listening as a woman was sharing her story.
I only caught the end, but she was talking about how in her late 20's/early 30's she went to china, adopted a baby girl, and about raising her as a "single mom" etc. Her story ended talking about this wonderful man in their lives and how proposed and ended saying "At 43 years old I'm getting married for the first time!
Well I had the radio on in the car the other night (not something I normally do) a secular station that had it's nighttime request/dedication program and was listening as a woman was sharing her story.
I only caught the end, but she was talking about how in her late 20's/early 30's she went to china, adopted a baby girl, and about raising her as a "single mom" etc. Her story ended talking about this wonderful man in their lives and how proposed and ended saying "At 43 years old I'm getting married for the first time!
-
1
-
1
- Show all
S
@tourist
I believe the only way that people can learn to trust each other, is they must be willing to talk and share with each other. There is some risk involved. But if your not wiling to take any risk at all, then no relationship can be started. I'm not saying that people should be stupid, and spill everything right away. But you got be willing to open up and start sharing some... That is why I said, share what you need too. I mean share just what you need to tell us, so that we can try to be helpful.
I believe the only way that people can learn to trust each other, is they must be willing to talk and share with each other. There is some risk involved. But if your not wiling to take any risk at all, then no relationship can be started. I'm not saying that people should be stupid, and spill everything right away. But you got be willing to open up and start sharing some... That is why I said, share what you need too. I mean share just what you need to tell us, so that we can try to be helpful.
I have always said that the decision to try to form an enduring relationship is a calculated risk. To establish trust, you must be willing to make yourself vulnerable so the other person can see who you really are and what you are about.
You have certainly done this through your many posts. A single woman, on this site, should now be able to make an informed decision whether or not she will now lower her defenses a little and make herself a bit vulnerable too.
As you have said, if a member seeks a measure of help, prayer, or encouragement, then this would require lowering their shields too.
I fully concur with your estimation.
You have certainly done this through your many posts. A single woman, on this site, should now be able to make an informed decision whether or not she will now lower her defenses a little and make herself a bit vulnerable too.
As you have said, if a member seeks a measure of help, prayer, or encouragement, then this would require lowering their shields too.
I fully concur with your estimation.