Like I don't belong

  • Christian Chat is a moderated online Christian community allowing Christians around the world to fellowship with each other in real time chat via webcam, voice, and text, with the Christian Chat app. You can also start or participate in a Bible-based discussion here in the Christian Chat Forums, where members can also share with each other their own videos, pictures, or favorite Christian music.

    If you are a Christian and need encouragement and fellowship, we're here for you! If you are not a Christian but interested in knowing more about Jesus our Lord, you're also welcome! Want to know what the Bible says, and how you can apply it to your life? Join us!

    To make new Christian friends now around the world, click here to join Christian Chat.
T

Talljacob

Guest
#1
#1
I work for a tree company and today I noticed something. I sometimes feel out of place working around my normal group. Today I am with a bigger and different group of people. I was stepped back looking at who and what I was looking at an it occurred to me, I feel separate. I feel a bit alone, like I have no brothers or sisters in Christ. The things I see and hear are things I don't want to be a part of or engage with.

Is this wrong to say or feel? Am I the only one who has felt this way? As I speak they are grouped and I am alone with Christ. I have tried to witness to some to be rejected but I feel alone here.

I pray for them❤️
 
B

blueluna5

Well-known member
#2
Jul 30, 2018
669
401
63
#2
Talljacob said:
I work for a tree company and today I noticed something. I sometimes feel out of place working around my normal group. Today I am with a bigger and different group of people. I was stepped back looking at who and what I was looking at an it occurred to me, I feel separate. I feel a bit alone, like I have no brothers or sisters in Christ. The things I see and hear are things I don't want to be a part of or engage with.

Is this wrong to say or feel? Am I the only one who has felt this way? As I speak they are grouped and I am alone with Christ. I have tried to witness to some to be rejected but I feel alone here.

I pray for them❤️
Click to expand...
No, I love working from home for this reason. People can be rough at times, especially with the drama.

I think it's a personality thing. I'm an introvert so socializing can be tough. Although as I get older I care less about what people say as far as being embarrassed or whatever.

As far as witnessing, you should always ask if they would like to hear about God first before going into it. It weeds through to people who are open to hearing it. Also a lot of times people are converted by their family and friends. So it's rare to bring people to God being a perfect stranger. I'm just going off my person experience. Of course there are amazing missionaries who do just that.

Anyways I would just make the best of it. If you're with them make boring small talk of they're not interested in God. Or enjoy the time away from them as long as you're able to do your job. Otherwise maybe look for another job. That would just be my advice about it.
 
T

Talljacob

Guest
#3
#3
blueluna5 said:
No, I love working from home for this reason. People can be rough at times, especially with the drama.

I think it's a personality thing. I'm an introvert so socializing can be tough. Although as I get older I care less about what people say as far as being embarrassed or whatever.

As far as witnessing, you should always ask if they would like to hear about God first before going into it. It weeds through to people who are open to hearing it. Also a lot of times people are converted by their family and friends. So it's rare to bring people to God being a perfect stranger. I'm just going off my person experience. Of course there are amazing missionaries who do just that.

Anyways I would just make the best of it. If you're with them make boring small talk of they're not interested in God. Or enjoy the time away from them as long as you're able to do your job. Otherwise maybe look for another job. That would just be my advice about it.
Click to expand...
Thank you very much for your response. This group are people I know, and only witness one at a time. I know that's new information fo too r you. It's just sometimes I feel like I go off alone. Even out of work. I'm just not sure if that is sinful to purposely separate yourself
 
R

Ruby123

Guest
#4
#4
Talljacob said:
I work for a tree company and today I noticed something. I sometimes feel out of place working around my normal group. Today I am with a bigger and different group of people. I was stepped back looking at who and what I was looking at an it occurred to me, I feel separate. I feel a bit alone, like I have no brothers or sisters in Christ. The things I see and hear are things I don't want to be a part of or engage with.

Is this wrong to say or feel? Am I the only one who has felt this way? As I speak they are grouped and I am alone with Christ. I have tried to witness to some to be rejected but I feel alone here.

I pray for them❤️
Click to expand...
I can relate to this. I often feel this way too.
 
T

Talljacob

Guest
#5
#5
Ruby123 said:
I can relate to this. I often feel this way too.
Click to expand...
In all honesty i feel alone with Christ. Not that I think that's bad but the people around me outside of church are nonbelievers. It's a real struggle at times.
 
R

Ruby123

Guest
#6
#6
Talljacob said:
In all honesty i feel alone with Christ. Not that I think that's bad but the people around me outside of church are nonbelievers. It's a real struggle at times.
Click to expand...
Believe me I know, that it is why it is good to connect with people on Christian sites like this. Not that that is always pleasant at times. Even going to church you can feel alone.
Best thing to do is to use this time to experience how God talks and communicates to you. Get to know him as your friend and how he leads and guides you. Also pray like I have for him to connect you to the right people that can become your friends.
 
A

akaDorthy

Guest
#7
#7
As believers, we are in this world, not of it. And sometimes that can make it feel like we're alone, even while in the midst of a crowd.
In the Great Commission (found in Matthew 28) Jesus says "surely, I am with you always". So even when we feel alone, we never truly are.
(I wish I had known and realized that in my late childhood/early-mid teen years)
 
T

Talljacob

Guest
#8
#8
Ruby123 said:
Believe me I know, that it is why it is good to connect with people on Christian sites like this. Not that that is always pleasant at times. Even going to church you can feel alone.
Best thing to do is to use this time to experience how God talks and communicates to you. Get to know him as your friend and how he leads and guides you. Also pray like I have for him to connect you to the right people that can become your friends.
Click to expand...
Amen. That's exactly why I'm here. Just to at least talk with new brothers and sisters. I really enjoy being here. I have talked with some really awesome people
 
JaumeJ

JaumeJ

Senior Member
#9
Jul 2, 2011
21,465
6,722
113
#9
Talljacob said:
I work for a tree company and today I noticed something. I sometimes feel out of place working around my normal group. Today I am with a bigger and different group of people. I was stepped back looking at who and what I was looking at an it occurred to me, I feel separate. I feel a bit alone, like I have no brothers or sisters in Christ. The things I see and hear are things I don't want to be a part of or engage with.

Is this wrong to say or feel? Am I the only one who has felt this way? As I speak they are grouped and I am alone with Christ. I have tried to witness to some to be rejected but I feel alone here.

I pray for them❤️
Click to expand...
We are taught we should be in the world but not part of it. You feeling is quite on the spot as far as I am concerned. This feeling comes over all who believe, and it is the Way as log as it does not make the person think he or she is superior to others, better off much of the time, yes, superior no. God bless you and keep sharingg. This is an important lesson andmerits being posted more than most.
 
T

Talljacob

Guest
#10
#10
JaumeJ said:
We are taught we should be in the world but not part of it. You feeling is quite on the spot as far as I am concerned. This feeling comes over all who believe, and it is the Way as log as it does not make the person think he or she is superior to others, better off much of the time, yes, superior no. God bless you and keep sharingg. This is an important lesson andmerits being posted more than most.
Click to expand...
Yes we must be humble. It is the lord working through us, not us to be better then others. Spread the good news of Christ and let the lord work through you and lead you❤️
 
Lynx

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
#11
Aug 13, 2014
27,736
9,660
113
#11
Talljacob said:
I feel a bit alone, like I have no brothers or sisters in Christ. The things I see and hear are things I don't want to be a part of or engage with.
Click to expand...
Just to clarify: Are they always standing around talking about sex and drugs? Or are they just talking about things you don't have an interest in, like hunting or a video game they all play together online or car engines or something?
 
R

Runningman

Banned
#12
Mar 4, 2020
8,614
3,691
113
#12
Talljacob said:
I work for a tree company and today I noticed something. I sometimes feel out of place working around my normal group. Today I am with a bigger and different group of people. I was stepped back looking at who and what I was looking at an it occurred to me, I feel separate. I feel a bit alone, like I have no brothers or sisters in Christ. The things I see and hear are things I don't want to be a part of or engage with.

Is this wrong to say or feel? Am I the only one who has felt this way? As I speak they are grouped and I am alone with Christ. I have tried to witness to some to be rejected but I feel alone here.

I pray for them❤️
Click to expand...
Welcome to Christian Chat. And just so you know, there are many brothers and sisters in Christ to help you here. Just let me know how I can serve you and I will see what I can do. May God bless you!
 
T

Talljacob

Guest
#13
#13
Lynx said:
Just to clarify: Are they always standing around talking about sex and drugs? Or are they just talking about things you don't have an interest in, like hunting or a video game they all play together online or car engines or something?
Click to expand...
A lot of times its dirty talk. A normal chat turns filthy real quick. And it's the way they talk. Swearing and using the lord's name in vain. But it is not just at work. It's everywhere.
 
T

Talljacob

Guest
#14
#14
Runningman said:
Welcome to Christian Chat. And just so you know, there are many brothers and sisters in Christ to help you here. Just let me know how I can serve you and I will see what I can do. May God bless you!
Click to expand...
God bless you. That is really nice of you to say that.
 
Lynx

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
#15
Aug 13, 2014
27,736
9,660
113
#15
Talljacob said:
A lot of times its dirty talk. A normal chat turns filthy real quick. And it's the way they talk. Swearing and using the lord's name in vain. But it is not just at work. It's everywhere.
Click to expand...
Ah, right.

I notice my signature line does not show up on a mobile (phone) browser. If you read a post of mine on a desktop or laptop, below every post you will see this signature:
"Do you sing at church?"
"Yes I sing at church. And I sing at home. And in the car, at work, at the supermarket, at Walmart..."

What I don't mention a lot to people is, there's a doggone good reason I am usually singing or humming to myself. A lot of conversations I just really don't want to hear. :rolleyes:o_O
 
hornetguy

hornetguy

Senior Member
#16
Jan 18, 2016
7,186
1,802
113
#16
Talljacob said:
A lot of times its dirty talk. A normal chat turns filthy real quick. And it's the way they talk. Swearing and using the lord's name in vain. But it is not just at work. It's everywhere.
Click to expand...
You need to learn to tune it out. If you want to run and hide every time a "non believer" spouts some nonsense, you will never accopmplish anything for Christ...
How do you think HE felt? He was totally surrounded with "natural men", yet he fellowshipped with them, and gave them the example of his living....
Do you think that Peter, being an un-educated professional fisherman didn't use crude/foul language?
We should strive to leave that all behind, but hiding from the world is NOT what Jesus expects us to do....
 
T

Talljacob

Guest
#17
#17
Lynx said:
Ah, right.

I notice my signature line does not show up on a mobile (phone) browser. If you read a post of mine on a desktop or laptop, below every post you will see this signature:
"Do you sing at church?"
"Yes I sing at church. And I sing at home. And in the car, at work, at the supermarket, at Walmart..."

What I don't mention a lot to people is, there's a doggone good reason I am usually singing or humming to myself. A lot of conversations I just really don't want to hear. :rolleyes:o_O
Click to expand...
Amen. I am the same way. I wonder away singing. I talk to the lord inside as well for I know Satan can't hear me.
 
T

Talljacob

Guest
#18
#18
hornetguy said:
You need to learn to tune it out. If you want to run and hide every time a "non believer" spouts some nonsense, you will never accopmplish anything for Christ...
How do you think HE felt? He was totally surrounded with "natural men", yet he fellowshipped with them, and gave them the example of his living....
Do you think that Peter, being an un-educated professional fisherman didn't use crude/foul language?
We should strive to leave that all behind, but hiding from the world is NOT what Jesus expects us to do....
Click to expand...
Oh no I don't run and hide. However I do stand aside from time to time. That is something I have always done. I observe or people watch. I just wasn't sure if it is a sin to feel this way. But singing is my way of going when I have truly had enough. In my head if people are around
 
JohnDB

JohnDB

Well-known member
#19
Jan 16, 2021
6,283
2,561
113
#19
I'm guessing but I think that it's a bunch of guys that you are working with.

Look,
I have spent a looong time working with predominantly male crews. And believe it or not they talk this way because they are nervous about being ridiculed by the other guys.
That fear is powerful....it haunts them constantly. Because if the truth is known they are usually very very insecure. Look for the ones using the most foul language....especially when it's uncalled for. They are the most fragile.

So....how to lead them in a different direction?
Start talking about normal things. Like motorcycles or cars or fishing. Maybe say something funny about your latest fishing trip. Make it as benign as possible.

Ask others where they like fishing and the lures they use. Don't use profanity. You can reference it like "...and while I was blessing our current president for the situation...."

Things like that....
It has an effect on people. That someone is not trying to have a testosterone contest with them and treats them as an equal....

Everyone I worked with as a construction worker on most every team (mine as well as other trades) knew beyond all shadow of a doubt that I was a Christian...but I was also a very talented worker. Willing and able to help anyone and everyone whether they asked or not when I seen them struggling. I accepted people for who they were and didn't browbeat them for who they weren't.

And it was a very different type of witnessing that they had no defense for....I can't tell you the sheer volume of guys that got me in a corner so they could cry like little girls and tell me their problems and how they were going to try to change their life and become a Christian.

I never preached once at anybody....there's tons of people doing that....I just lived a grace focused life. Extending everyone grace. I wasn't a doormat. Nor should you be one either.

But you would be surprised how effective it really is.


But be forewarned....guys look ugly when they cry. It's unsettling to see the most crusty and hard bitten men around crying like a little girl. Hollywood can't even begin to create images that unsettling.
 
T

Talljacob

Guest
#20
#20
JohnDB said:
I'm guessing but I think that it's a bunch of guys that you are working with.

Look,
I have spent a looong time working with predominantly male crews. And believe it or not they talk this way because they are nervous about being ridiculed by the other guys.
That fear is powerful....it haunts them constantly. Because if the truth is known they are usually very very insecure. Look for the ones using the most foul language....especially when it's uncalled for. They are the most fragile.

So....how to lead them in a different direction?
Start talking about normal things. Like motorcycles or cars or fishing. Maybe say something funny about your latest fishing trip. Make it as benign as possible.

Ask others where they like fishing and the lures they use. Don't use profanity. You can reference it like "...and while I was blessing our current president for the situation...."

Things like that....
It has an effect on people. That someone is not trying to have a testosterone contest with them and treats them as an equal....

Everyone I worked with as a construction worker on most every team (mine as well as other trades) knew beyond all shadow of a doubt that I was a Christian...but I was also a very talented worker. Willing and able to help anyone and everyone whether they asked or not when I seen them struggling. I accepted people for who they were and didn't browbeat them for who they weren't.

And it was a very different type of witnessing that they had no defense for....I can't tell you the sheer volume of guys that got me in a corner so they could cry like little girls and tell me their problems and how they were going to try to change their life and become a Christian.

I never preached once at anybody....there's tons of people doing that....I just lived a grace focused life. Extending everyone grace. I wasn't a doormat. Nor should you be one either.

But you would be surprised how effective it really is.


But be forewarned....guys look ugly when they cry. It's unsettling to see the most crusty and hard bitten men around crying like a little girl. Hollywood can't even begin to create images that unsettling.
Click to expand...
Oh I can chat with these men just fine. And it is not just at work but in public. It is more of finding out if it's a sin to separate yourself and stay away at times. I can change the topic 1000 times in a row but it gets pin pointed to two things filthy words and sex. Everytime, it never fails.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.