Should I Say Something

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Snacks

Snacks

Well-known member
#181
Feb 10, 2022
1,410
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#181
Angela53510 said:
Absolutely! If you don't, you could be responsible for her death.

I new a woman who was in a similar situation, and warned this woman who was set to marry a very abusive man. I told her in great detail the things he had done. She replied that he had never been abusive and this man had treated her like a queen.

I lost contact with both these people, they did get married. About 5 years later I ran into the woman in a Vancouver. We talked a bit, and I asked if she was visiting Vancouver. She said no, she lived there now. She told me she was forced to leave this abusive man. Soon after they were married, his behaviour changed from Prince Charming, to the cruel and evil person I had told her about. She admitted I was totally correct, and realized he would probably never change. She was armed with the knowledge this abuser had done this before, and she needed to leave, and she did. She thanked me for giving her the common knowledge of that area.

If you fail to warn someone that a man (or woman) is dangerous, violent and even crazy, I truly believe you will in part be held responsible for what goes on, esp abuse, mental sexual, financial or physical.

As for God changing the abuser into a more gentle, kind person, he certainly could. Unfortunately, these people are not Christians, and have no motivate to obey God and become a good husband/wife. Abusers are sociopaths and psychopaths. They have zero empathy, they are extremely controlling, and do not care more for their spouses than themselves and their evil motivations. Never tell anyone to stay with an abuser.

I remember arguing with a long time Christian woman about that. She believed the woman should go back to her abuser and show him the light of Christ. People who can hurt and damage other people without remorse will never be suddenly changed because the spouse returned to be a doormat. They are blind, and cannot see the love of God in their spouse. No woman (or man) should ever have to live in an abusive marriage. In Canada, it is against the law to abuse your spouse. These people can and will go to jail for the crime of assault and battery at the very least! They are criminals. Would you let a criminal continue to batter their spouses/girlfriends? I hope a warning is the least anyone would do.
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Thank you, Angela for sharing your heartfelt insight and being gracious as to the manner in which the situation is handled on my part.

As you’ve seen, I spoke with this guy without accusing him. So far there are no signs or whispers of any abuse but what worries me is the story you shared. Things can be good with this guy for five years or more but then suddenly it can turn on a dime.

I have a feeling this relationship is going to be mutually abusive physically, emotionally, financially and chemically. In an attempt to counter that possibility I’m going to invite them to worship, then take it from there.
 
Snacks

Snacks

Well-known member
#184
Feb 10, 2022
1,410
771
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#184
apwall21 said:
Then in which post does he accuse any person?
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In his very first post ~ post # 10. Insinuating that my friend is committing adultery and fornication is the same as accusing him of doing so. The list goes on from there, but you already know that.
 
A

apwall21

Banned
#185
Jul 9, 2022
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#185
Snacks said:
In his very first post ~ post # 10. Insinuating that my friend is committing adultery and fornication is the same as accusing him of doing so. The list goes on from there, but you already know that.
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Is your friend going to be committing adultery and fornication?
Since he is One Flesh with another woman, this would seem to be true.
 
Snacks

Snacks

Well-known member
#186
Feb 10, 2022
1,410
771
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#186
apwall21 said:
Is your friend going to be committing adultery and fornication?
Since he is One Flesh with another woman, this would seem to be true.
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There you go accusing people in like manner as your graceless protégé. I’m not surprised.
 
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apwall21

Banned
#187
Jul 9, 2022
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#187
Snacks said:
There you go accusing people in like manner as your graceless protégé. I’m not surprised.
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What is the accusation? Repeating back to you what the Bible says about acts of man is not an accusation. You explained the situation, he has been One with another woman. What is there to miss about that?
 
Snacks

Snacks

Well-known member
#188
Feb 10, 2022
1,410
771
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#188
apwall21 said:
What is the accusation? Repeating back to you what the Bible says about acts of man is not an accusation. You explained the situation, he has been One with another woman. What is there to miss about that?
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Don’t try to back out of it. You’re assuming, thus insinuating, thus accusing these two people of adulterous fornication when you have absolutely no proof or reason to do so. As previously stated to your graceless protégé, your idle words will be held against you.
 
A

apwall21

Banned
#189
Jul 9, 2022
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#189
Snacks said:
Don’t try to back out of it. You’re assuming, thus insinuating, thus accusing these two people of adulterous fornication when you have absolutely no proof or reason to do so. As previously stated to your graceless protégé, your idle words will be held against you.
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Completely irrational use of language is the norm? You said DATING, which in modern parlance means romantic shnoozing and other things that lead to pairing off and raising kids.
He was already married. Thus, this would be adultery, or fornication, as listed by Jesus.

If you didn't mean that, then you've nailed me to the wall, I assumed that they were headed toward sexual physical contact from the word Dating. Also, I have to admit, at one point, I wouldn't have thought this a sin. It is, according to Jesus, still a sin. That doesn't excuse, or preclude, that he may be a sinner in his anger, and his treatment of his spouse.
 
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Dirtman

Well-known member
#190
Jul 19, 2022
1,151
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#190
Snacks said:
I know a guy who is not well liked but I treat him well and he considers me a friend. He beat his wife to the point that she left him and now he is dating a girl he knew from high school some twenty years ago. Do I warn her of his abuse, yes or no?
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You should rebuke him sharply, disfellowship him until he repents and yes warn her.
They may hate you for it but you.
 
Snacks

Snacks

Well-known member
#191
Feb 10, 2022
1,410
771
113
#191
Dirtman said:
You should rebuke him sharply, disfellowship him until he repents and yes warn her.
They may hate you for it but you.
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Thank you for sharing some good insight brother. On another note, love your name.
 
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