My feelings play no part in this. I’ve tried to intervene in the past with other couples only to have the women side with their man. Then there was another time when I did not intervene and the guy eventually broke his wife’s jaw.
Rather than titling the thread, Should I Say Something, I should have titled it, How Should This Situation Be Handled?
Some women are magnets for abusive men... It's in their naivety, general ignorance of human nature and their more submissive nature - either that or they possibly had abusive father's and can't recognize the cyclical nature of abuse in order to break the cycle.
In order to warn any woman away from a potentially abusive suitor you often have to fix what's broken in her..
Broken people find each other, and the abused are often just as broken as those who abuse them. Ignorance can be cured, but there's often more than simple ignorance at play.
So, as far as giving warning to a girl in potential danger your best chance is just telling her that you heard he was physically violent toward his ex, and if she was determined to date him in spite of the potential danger, just know she can get ahold of you and you'll see to it she gets to a shelter for women.
That's the best you can do, and the note of sincerity will show and likely make her think twice. PTSD in combat veterans is very real, I'm sure he's doing his best to deal but it's no joke and takes time.
I actually know a combat veteran who served in Iraq, known him for a long time now and when we first met because I was middle eastern Muslim (at the time) I set off every PTSD trigger for him. We ended up becoming friends and it actually helped him with his PTSD....
It's really not an easy thing.