Tips needed

[yoriii]

Ummm so what men need to understand about women is that women need a challenge. We need something that to see for, to wonder about and if you give us too much information, its not going to make that happen. Try adding a lil bit of mystery, don't tell us everything about you, save some stuff for later.

 

[joecoten]

Don't relate to her like she's a guy. Learn her love language.
Better yet...become a monk and go sit on a mountain somewhere. 👳‍♂️

 

[cinder]

So , getting some first dates with girls but not getting a follow up often.

So what are the usual reasons for this occuring?

Anyone with any tips on how to improve 2nd date chances.

Really foolishly obvious question.... are you following up with her after the date and asking for a second date?

 

[Sculpt]

So , getting some first dates with girls but not getting a follow up often.

So what are the usual reasons for this occuring?

Anyone with any tips on how to improve 2nd date chances.

You wrote 'you're on the spectrum'. I know something about autism, which I assume you mean. In regard to getting more 2nd dates, can you be a little more specific about that?

As Cinder asked... are you asking for a 2nd date? If so, are you asking them to go someplace specific and then are they are saying, "No thanks, I'm not interested'? Or could it be they are just busy on that calendar date? How are you gauging this? Each date is important learning info.

My personal recommendation to all men regarding dating is: VOLUME. Meaning: date as many different women as possible. Always try to date more than one woman at a time. Why do I say that? Because in my experience, the one you're dating may drop you, after you get attached (naturally), and you've just wasted a lot of valuable time. You should always be assessing their character. For some people -- if you're only dating one woman, you may be too motivated to go with whatever they say, not displaying you're own character and boundaries, and never pushing back against their inappropriate behavior... and so they won't respect you, will never be challenged by you, won't really know you, and they'll drop you. You say you're very honest, so maybe the last part isn't an issue for you.

Supporting what I just wrote (the way I see it) is what Yoriii posted above, "Ummm so what men need to understand about women is that women need a challenge. We need something that to see for, to wonder about and if you give us too much information, its not going to make that happen. Try adding a lil bit of mystery, don't tell us everything about you, save some stuff for later."

My own personal instincts about you... to get more 2nd dates... be strong, friendly, jovial, full of laughter and supporting. Let her know you're financially stable and what you like to do for fun. During the date, find out what she likes to do. Talk about that. If you find one or two things she likes to do -- that you also like to do -- then suggest you both do it together. If she likes you some, you'll likely get that 2nd date doing something you both like.

 

[Robertt]

Ummm so what men need to understand about women is that women need a challenge. We need something that to see for, to wonder about and if you give us too much information, its not going to make that happen. Try adding a lil bit of mystery, don't tell us everything about you, save some stuff for later.

thanks will endevour to have more silences.

hold back more

 

[Robertt]

Really foolishly obvious question.... are you following up with her after the date and asking for a second date?

i do follow up. always ensure i get their number.
actually got a 2nd date on the weekend that just passed.
So she tells me she not looking for long term relationship. she only wants freind.

So do i keep hoping for more quietly . or just move on and look for another while keeping her as a friend

if i take another girl on a date will this one suddenyl no longer be intersted
was this just a test.

do i even mention i may look for antoher girl to date.

HMMM so complicated

 

[Robertt]

You wrote 'you're on the spectrum'. I know something about autism, which I assume you mean. In regard to getting more 2nd dates, can you be a little more specific about that?

As Cinder asked... are you asking for a 2nd date? If so, are you asking them to go someplace specific and then are they are saying, "No thanks, I'm not interested'? Or could it be they are just busy on that calendar date? How are you gauging this? Each date is important learning info.

My personal recommendation to all men regarding dating is: VOLUME. Meaning: date as many different women as possible. Always try to date more than one woman at a time. Why do I say that? Because in my experience, the one you're dating may drop you, after you get attached (naturally), and you've just wasted a lot of valuable time. You should always be assessing their character. For some people -- if you're only dating one woman, you may be too motivated to go with whatever they say, not displaying you're own character and boundaries, and never pushing back against their inappropriate behavior... and so they won't respect you, will never be challenged by you, won't really know you, and they'll drop you. You say you're very honest, so maybe the last part isn't an issue for you.

Supporting what I just wrote (the way I see it) is what Yoriii posted above, "Ummm so what men need to understand about women is that women need a challenge. We need something that to see for, to wonder about and if you give us too much information, its not going to make that happen. Try adding a lil bit of mystery, don't tell us everything about you, save some stuff for later."

My own personal instincts about you... to get more 2nd dates... be strong, friendly, jovial, full of laughter and supporting. Let her know you're financially stable and what you like to do for fun. During the date, find out what she likes to do. Talk about that. If you find one or two things she likes to do -- that you also like to do -- then suggest you both do it together. If she likes you some, you'll likely get that 2nd date doing something you both like.

thanks for some tips. i try to not emphasis my financial situation as i really dont want to be loved for being rich. i want to be loved for who i am . but sometimes i think maybe being loved for anything is better than not being loved at all.

 

[TabinRivCA]

i do follow up. always ensure i get their number.
actually got a 2nd date on the weekend that just passed.
So she tells me she not looking for long term relationship. she only wants freind.

So do i keep hoping for more quietly . or just move on and look for another while keeping her as a friend

if i take another girl on a date will this one suddenyl no longer be intersted
was this just a test.

do i even mention i may look for antoher girl to date.

HMMM so complicated

If you're on a casual basis with someone, there is no need to tell them stuff like you're playing the field, that wouldn't be helpful. If this gal wants to be a friend, definitely keep looking. Always appear confident, cheerful and Christian. No social clubs there?.., gotta go there is a snake in my house.

 

[Robertt]

If you're on a casual basis with someone, there is no need to tell them stuff like you're playing the field, that wouldn't be helpful. If this gal wants to be a friend, definitely keep looking. Always appear confident, cheerful and Christian. No social clubs there?.., gotta go there is a snake in my house.

As a westerner in a Muslim country it is more difficult to mix in
the girls I meet are nit Christian as extremely hard to find any in this Muslim country

So I will just text the girl ho wants to be friend only and see where that goes
and keep looking for another first date

Of course the next issue is how intimate is one allowed to get as friends only

 

[Sculpt]

thanks for some tips. i try to not emphasis my financial situation as i really dont want to be loved for being rich. i want to be loved for who i am . but sometimes i think maybe being loved for anything is better than not being loved at all.

I said stable, not rich. Stable is more like 'not in need'. And I don't suggest announcing it... it would be natural conversation regarding your current living situation, and future plans. But you're right, everyone wans someone who wants you for who you are, with no regard to your financial situation. I hear these women exist in the world. My honest hope is to find one.

As a westerner in a Muslim country it is more difficult to mix in
the girls I meet are nit Christian as extremely hard to find any in this Muslim country

So I will just text the girl ho wants to be friend only and see where that goes
and keep looking for another first date

Of course the next issue is how intimate is one allowed to get as friends only

There are christian women in your country. I highly recommend you only date christians.

 

[Robertt]

I said stable, not rich. Stable is more like 'not in need'. And I don't suggest announcing it... it would be natural conversation regarding your current living situation, and future plans. But you're right, everyone wans someone who wants you for who you are, with no regard to your financial situation. I hear these women exist in the world. My honest hope is to find one.


There are christian women in your country. I highly recommend you only date christians.

Sadly with no churches not sure how to meet single Christians

Until a star appears above them I will continue to goto to clubs

 

[TabinRivCA]

As a westerner in a Muslim country it is more difficult to mix in
the girls I meet are nit Christian as extremely hard to find any in this Muslim country

So I will just text the girl ho wants to be friend only and see where that goes
and keep looking for another first date

Of course the next issue is how intimate is one allowed to get as friends only

First I didn't mean to alarm anyone, the snake was a 5 ft garden snake and has been escorted to the river bottom where it can roam.

Sadly with no churches not sure how to meet single Christians

Until a star appears above them I will continue to goto to clubs

Actually that's how I met all three of my children's dads, 2 marriages and 1 live together. That was when I was a carnal Christian. Now I don't go into clubs and I understand your dilemma, still for me I can't see finding a Christian or suitable marriage partner there. Perhaps look into Christian zoom groups or chat spots like on YT or FB.

 

[Live4Him3]

First I didn't mean to alarm anyone, the snake was a 5 ft garden snake and has been escorted to the river bottom where it can roam.

When it comes to dealing with people, I'm fearless.

However, put a 5 foot long snake in my home, and I might dive headfirst into the nearest river...lol.

Pardon the interruption...

 

[Robertt]

poor snake. hope it can swim

 

[Lanolin]

I thought a tip was what you gave to a waiter or waitress not your date!

sorry I dont tip or have any tips

my only thing advice is make sure she has a good time and then she might want to go with you again, the object is to enjoy yourselves on a date, so make it enjoyable.

if its boring and more like a job interview where you just talk shop then...well. yawn.

 

[TheNarrowPath]

So , getting some first dates with girls but not getting a follow up often.

So what are the usual reasons for this occuring?

Anyone with any tips on how to improve 2nd date chances.

Well I already know you are funny and women love a man with a sense of humor!
Are you more of a traditional or modern kind of guy?
Maybe they are waiting for your follow up call.
So go ahead and call.