I feel like I'm failure in life and a failure for God and a failure for other people. I think it would take a good paragraph to try and explain where these feelings come from. But they are so deep inside of myself, I can't seem to dig them out.
In and of ourselves, we're all miserable failures. However, in Christ, everything changes dramatically.
The truth of the matter is that God loves you with the same love wherewith he loves Jesus (John 17:23, 26). Christ is the head, and you're a part of his body. THIS is how God sees you. Furthermore, God sees you as having been raised up together with Christ and seated with him in heavenly places (Ephesians 2:5-6).
Listen to me...
I know EXACTLY what you're going through.
Truth be told, I was just like you for many years AS A CHRISTIAN. Always feeling like God saw me as a failure, and it greatly affected my prayer life, and just my life in general. Well, it finally dawned on me some years ago that those thoughts weren't coming from God. In fact, they were demonic in origin, and they were the very types of things that I needed to cast down as I brought every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ.
II Corinthians chapter 10
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3] For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war after the flesh:
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4] (For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but mighty through God to the pulling down of strong holds)
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5] Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ;
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6] And having in a readiness to revenge all disobedience, when your obedience is fulfilled.
You've got to stop talking so negatively about yourself and start/continue renewing your mind until it comes in line with what God actually thinks about you IN CHRIST. All the rejection that you've faced from others is NOT a reflection of God himself rejecting you. Scripture says that you're accepted in the beloved (Ephesians 1:6) or accepted in Christ. In fact, you have access to the very throne of grace in heaven through Jesus Christ.
Stop listening to the enemy's lies, and stop repeating them in relation to yourself.
Look, if there's anything in this world that I'm NOT known for, then it's flattery. Especially when it comes to professing Christians because, quite frankly, I doubt that about 90% of the professing Christians I've ever met are even saved.
That said, I do think that your heart is in the right place. Do you need some adjustments? Sure, but I don't detect any guile or deceit in you. You really just need to start seeing yourself as God sees you IN CHRIST.
Do you believe that God the Father loves Jesus?
Well, if you're in Jesus or IN CHRIST, then can't you see how God loves you as well?
Anyhow, you're in my prayers.