From what I have observed, most of the time you can't keep them from jumping in the metaphorical river. People gonna do what they want to do. Usually all we can do is stand ready to pull them out once they realize they don't really want to be there.
You can't tell a drunk to quit drinking until he's tired of his life and wants to change it. While he's happy with it, he wants to stay with it. When he's beaten down by it, when he finally realizes he's not going to be able to keep it up indefinitely, THEN he's ready to listen to something about a better way.
Yeah it sucks, but that's just the way it is. Or at least that's what I've seen.
You can't tell a drunk to quit drinking until he's tired of his life and wants to change it. While he's happy with it, he wants to stay with it. When he's beaten down by it, when he finally realizes he's not going to be able to keep it up indefinitely, THEN he's ready to listen to something about a better way.
Yeah it sucks, but that's just the way it is. Or at least that's what I've seen.
When I saw this statement, it reminded me of the divorce, separated and widowed support group that I help facilitate called "Rebuilding" based upon a book of the same title... The book is fantastic written by a couple PhD psychologist. My frustration was that we and the book are focused on helping people people after they recognize that they are broken, to rebuild to find themselves and their purpose as individuals to strive to begin to live purposeful lives with out being dependent upon someone else.
So my answer to my frustration is, I'm going upstream to write a book to help people to achieve the same end state before they get married and find themselves broken if their marriage ever comes to an unfortunate end.