Dealing with parentals

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Hey so another thing ive been having a struggle with is how I deal with my parents. It seems like a constant battle because I'm always either offending them or I feel like they are being ridiculous. It's gotten to the point where I will go days without talking to my dad. My parents are still together but they have been going through sone marital problems. I don't want to always be stirring things up but when I feel like something isn't right I try to say something about it and they immediately say I'm arguing with them. It's turning into a big problem and I fear if it continues me and my dad will reach a point of estrangement and I really dont want that. Prayer as usual would be greatly appreciated. And I don't want comments that are peoples opinions which are secular because I don't want to live a secular life. Please be able to back up your opinions with Scrupture if needed. Thanks.
 
hee, i know how youre feeling. ive some problems as well with my parents. they dont accept that im christian and they dont understand anything about God and Jesus. Once didn't talk to my parents for a few days but it turned out to get only worse, so ignoring your parents isn't really a good idea i suppose. go into religion even more helped me a lot, but i think you heared that before. i dont really know how to help you, but ill pray for you ;) succes and god bless you xx
 
Kill them with respect... Even if they don't respond like you want its a win-win situation for you cause you show you're the bigger person or respect you more.
 
@mo thank you for your prayers. I appreciate it. Now that I look back at it ignoring them really did put them on edge. Thank you for bringing that to light. My parents are both Christians but it's as though the true Christian lifestyle has taken a backseat for them. I'll be praying for your home life as well.

@needmesomejesus I'll give this a shot. No harm in trying and I would be willing to bet it helps. Very sound advice. Thanks.
 
it's sad that this is the case, at your age you should be having fun, not trying to be the spiritual example in a Christian household. i was raised in church on & off. at 14 i got saved & attended on my own. my dad had been a lifelong on/off Christian. he always considered himself a Christian, but didn't always live in actively. yet once i got saved it seemed to spark him, he started attending church again himself. at 15 i became heavily involved in a charismatic street witnessing group. they did friday night ministering in cracktown & had home bible study earlier in the week. i was sometimes attending the church the group was a an arm of, still attending the youth i got saved at, & even started a christian band. my faith obviously became a major factor in every facet of my life, & with my dad seeing all of this, & me always having stories to tell about what i was in, or what happened at various events he decided to renew his walk as well. he began being more faithful at church, tithing, reading his bible, praying.
now i never set out of be an example to my dad, but it happened. perhaps letting them see your faith in action could spark something in them as well. another idea could be approaching your parents & asking if you could start a daily prayer time With them. take 3 pieces of paper, take one, put each of your parents on the top 2 lines. make one for your dad with your mom on the top line, you on the second, & the same for your mom with you dad on the top. hand your parents their paper & tell them to continue filling it out for a prayer page. then explain when you have the prayer time you want each parent to pray out loud, starting at the top of the list (their first prayer will have to be for the other, then you).
just a suggestion, but seems like it has some possibilities.
 
Respect them and show them how much you love them. I have gone through the whole thing about separation and divorce, so I know how you must feel... Also, I will totally pray for you, bud.
 
Thanks 2May but it seems as though they are impossible to please. Everytime I do something great they always try to downplay it. Last month I was accepted into a all expense paid for private school and they were actually debating on not letting me go saying it wasn't worth their time. 15 people in the entire region were accepted and they didn't say congrats or anything. Totally ignored it. When I brought home a letter that I had placed third in an art contest they asked why I didn't win first. It's as though they are expecting perfection but not wanting to encourage me to achieve it.
 
You're parents brought you into this world, and according to the book that I, JESUSSSSSSS, wrote, they can take you out too! So be nice if you don't want to be stoned to death! :D
 
Well, Tlite, all I can say is keep reaching out to them and let them know you mean business and you really DO want a good relationship with them. Don't give up on them even if they keep treating you with disrespect. The Bible tells us to honor our father and mother and even though we sometimes may think that they don't deserve that honor, God wants us to do our very best to do it anyway, for Him. And, I know how hard it is to honor your parents when you don't think that they deserve it, but it is important to push through that and obey God. I will be praying for you.
 
Bro, I just recently went through the what you are going through. My parents and I are now close though. I can't say that the advice I'm about to give you will work, because everyone's minds are wired differently.

My dad and I's issue was that we argued all the time and even being in the same room with him brought about an awkward presence. Him and I are totally different people. He listens to audio books the deal with Si-Fi and I like to play guitar and hang with friends.

I found that what caused most of my issues with him was me correcting his wrong doing. He does some pretty stupid stuff... Like washing the brand new car with a scouring pad and scratching the whole car.... Putting aluminum tape on the microwave vents... Etc... Don't ask lol. As hard as it was for me, even though he did stupid stuff, he isn't open to correction. I stopped correcting him even though I wanted to and he was about to mess up on some things. Him and I now are totally great. I mean, it's amazing. Before, he wasn't even a father. He was just "that random dude" inside the house. Now I call him dad. It's a typical father-son relationship now.

I don't know if that story will help you any or if you can relate with it any. Just tthought I'd throw that in though. I'll be praying for you. This isn't a fast thing either. It takes time.
 
Tlite said:
Thanks 2May but it seems as though they are impossible to please. Everytime I do something great they always try to downplay it. Last month I was accepted into a all expense paid for private school and they were actually debating on not letting me go saying it wasn't worth their time. 15 people in the entire region were accepted and they didn't say congrats or anything. Totally ignored it. When I brought home a letter that I had placed third in an art contest they asked why I didn't win first. It's as though they are expecting perfection but not wanting to encourage me to achieve it.
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It's sad to hear this! The only excuse I can think up for them is that they're going through a tough time in their marriage.

Congratulations on your acceptance to a private school!! You are to be commended on your studies and I hope you will have a very edifying experience at your new school!

And congratulations on your award in the art contest! Try not to be discouraged by your parents' lack of response. Some children are actually more mature than their parents. I had the same type of response from my parents during my childhood. Don't let it dampen your enthusiasm to DO WELL in whatever you attempt.

Never let the fear of falling short of perfection, inhibit you from trying something challenging. Even if we do fall short of the goal, we learn a lot from the experience. Many people never realize this.
 
I have been going through the same problems. My Dad, and I haven't really talked in awhile...and everytime i tried to open my mouth he shuts me back up. So i started praying and i was reading about honoring your parents. So now i am just really respectful with my Dad, and only talk when needed, and ask him about his day, and how he is doing...and well our relationship have been a lot better lately. So just try your best to talk to him respectfully...
 
*Ridiculous* right?.. Try living with my Dad, and see just how much of that feeling you'll get... Actually everyday he tries to annoy me. He makes sure he finds something bad about everything i do.. When he writes me a note to clean the house and i do it, he comes back only to complain and tell me that i wouldn't have done it if he hadn't told me to, and when i do it without him telling me, He could as well come home to complain that i didn't do it well and there is no difference between doing it and not.. Howz dat for being utterly ridiculous?.lol..And many more things he does, like asking me how i pass in school???? e.t.c. Many long stories that i can't tell.lol

I had a lot of hatred towards him, but 1 person can help you and it's God really, just pray to God to take away this hatred from you.. Now no matter what he does to me, i just forget it and behave like it didn't happen.. All the hatred suddenly disappeared... :)
 
Tlite said:
Hey so another thing ive been having a struggle with is how I deal with my parents. It seems like a constant battle because I'm always either offending them or I feel like they are being ridiculous. It's gotten to the point where I will go days without talking to my dad. My parents are still together but they have been going through sone marital problems. I don't want to always be stirring things up but when I feel like something isn't right I try to say something about it and they immediately say I'm arguing with them. It's turning into a big problem and I fear if it continues me and my dad will reach a point of estrangement and I really dont want that. Prayer as usual would be greatly appreciated. And I don't want comments that are peoples opinions which are secular because I don't want to live a secular life. Please be able to back up your opinions with Scrupture if needed. Thanks.
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Keep you in my prayers. here are the verses that first come to mind and the summary is we are to respect our parents but they are to act worthy of respect as well. May God bless and keep you and your family.

Colossians 3
18 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.
19 Husbands, love your wives and do not be bitter toward them.
20 Children, obey your parents in all things, for this is well pleasing to the Lord.
21 Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged.

Ephesians 6

1 Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. 2 “Honor your father and mother,” which is the first commandment with promise: 3 “that it may be well with you and you may live long on the earth.”[a]
4 And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord.

Don't be discouraged. remember you have your Heavenly Father to talk to can comfort you when you are down.
 
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