Rules of Engagement
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I have a t-shirt (I didn't design that one) that says "Real Men Wear Pink" on it.
It has the pink cancer survivor ribbon on it, too.
I have a sister who is a cancer survivor.
I was still working at the VA hospitals when she was diagnosed with cancer, and I bought about 30 or so of those t-shirts from the VA Canteen (that's what they call their in-hospital store), and I and my family members all wore them at a party that we had for her. Actually, it was two different designs. One for the men, and one for the women. I still have mine, and I still wear it occasionally (I much prefer wearing my Christian-themed designs to hopefully make people think).
we had Pink Shirt day the other Friday
I wasnt at school, but schools participate. Its to stop bullying. I think it started in the US.
For cancer, theres daffodil day
pink ribbon day
and there used to be a t shirt you could buy to raise awareness about breast cancer each year, not sure if they still, do it now
for men they have movember for prostate cancer, in which men need to grow their mustaches for a month
I wasnt at school, but schools participate. Its to stop bullying. I think it started in the US.
For cancer, theres daffodil day
pink ribbon day
and there used to be a t shirt you could buy to raise awareness about breast cancer each year, not sure if they still, do it now
for men they have movember for prostate cancer, in which men need to grow their mustaches for a month
I have zero tolerance for bullies. If it takes wearing a pink shirt for a day to show support for anti-bullying I'm all in.
you can get flourescent pink shirts now
as safety wear
before it used to be just flourescent yellow and orange (or 'day-glo' as others call it)
I saw them in kmart
anyway, as long as men observe the 'wear underwear' rule, it doesnt matter TOO much what you wear on the outside.
I think its harder for women though, men seem to dislike or not engage with any women who doesnt look fresh...meaning she doesnt keep her clothing choices fresh, wears anything faded and old.
Then they kind of think that applies to her skin and hair as well. Because its all about the outer appearance for some.
as safety wear
before it used to be just flourescent yellow and orange (or 'day-glo' as others call it)
I saw them in kmart
anyway, as long as men observe the 'wear underwear' rule, it doesnt matter TOO much what you wear on the outside.
I think its harder for women though, men seem to dislike or not engage with any women who doesnt look fresh...meaning she doesnt keep her clothing choices fresh, wears anything faded and old.
Then they kind of think that applies to her skin and hair as well. Because its all about the outer appearance for some.
Soooooo, I have a question that probably has an obvious answer, but I'm really tired (in more ways than one), so here goes:
How do you find out if a female co-worker is married or not without asking her directly or without asking another co-worker?
I've mentioned before that there's this woman at work who seems really (as in exceptionally) and genuinely nice, and she's always been friendly to me, and today she was much more friendly than normal...as in she seems to like me. I know...I know...she must have suffered a terrible fall and incurred a major head injury or something. Poor, poor thing.
Anyhow, I only started working at this job about 2 months ago, and I switched departments after being there for 3 weeks, so I've only been in my present department for 5 weeks. She works in another department, but she needs to come by where I work a few times a day. I thought that she had been a longtime worker there herself, but she told me today that she's only been working there for 1 month herself. Her job description requires that she wears gloves, so I can't check to see if she's wearing a wedding ring or not. I know that she has a daughter because she mentioned her once, but she could be divorced or even widowed.
I honestly can't believe that I'm even possibly interested in a woman, especially a woman closer to my age than women I've dated before, because I've pretty much sworn off women altogether...and I'm not joking when I say that.
Soooooo, any suggestions?
I probably won't pursue this woman anyway, but there must at least be a possibility in my heart and mind that I will or else I wouldn't be asking this question.
Thanks.
How do you find out if a female co-worker is married or not without asking her directly or without asking another co-worker?
I've mentioned before that there's this woman at work who seems really (as in exceptionally) and genuinely nice, and she's always been friendly to me, and today she was much more friendly than normal...as in she seems to like me. I know...I know...she must have suffered a terrible fall and incurred a major head injury or something. Poor, poor thing.
Anyhow, I only started working at this job about 2 months ago, and I switched departments after being there for 3 weeks, so I've only been in my present department for 5 weeks. She works in another department, but she needs to come by where I work a few times a day. I thought that she had been a longtime worker there herself, but she told me today that she's only been working there for 1 month herself. Her job description requires that she wears gloves, so I can't check to see if she's wearing a wedding ring or not. I know that she has a daughter because she mentioned her once, but she could be divorced or even widowed.
I honestly can't believe that I'm even possibly interested in a woman, especially a woman closer to my age than women I've dated before, because I've pretty much sworn off women altogether...and I'm not joking when I say that.
Soooooo, any suggestions?
I probably won't pursue this woman anyway, but there must at least be a possibility in my heart and mind that I will or else I wouldn't be asking this question.
Thanks.
Casually bring it up in conversation.Soooooo, I have a question that probably has an obvious answer, but I'm really tired (in more ways than one), so here goes:
How do you find out if a female co-worker is married or not without asking her directly or without asking another co-worker?
I've mentioned before that there's this woman at work who seems really (as in exceptionally) and genuinely nice, and she's always been friendly to me, and today she was much more friendly than normal...as in she seems to like me. I know...I know...she must have suffered a terrible fall and incurred a major head injury or something. Poor, poor thing.
Anyhow, I only started working at this job about 2 months ago, and I switched departments after being there for 3 weeks, so I've only been in my present department for 5 weeks. She works in another department, but she needs to come by where I work a few times a day. I thought that she had been a longtime worker there herself, but she told me today that she's only been working there for 1 month herself. Her job description requires that she wears gloves, so I can't check to see if she's wearing a wedding ring or not. I know that she has a daughter because she mentioned her once, but she could be divorced or even widowed.
I honestly can't believe that I'm even possibly interested in a woman, especially a woman closer to my age than women I've dated before, because I've pretty much sworn off women altogether...and I'm not joking when I say that.
Soooooo, any suggestions?
I probably won't pursue this woman anyway, but there must at least be a possibility in my heart and mind that I will or else I wouldn't be asking this question.
Thanks.
Say something like...Did you and your HUSBAND have a good memorial day?
Anything thing like that should work. If she is interested and doesn't have a husband she will say so, hopefully anyhow, and then you won't have to ask her directly.
If she just kind of shrugs it off or just says yes, without saying whether she has a husband or not. Then say something like...I probably shouldn't have asked about a husband because I don't even know if you are married or not...Are you?
That should do the trick...If not, then I have no idea why it wouldn't...lol
I really like your advice! I agree you have to put yourself out there, and accept, as a matter of course, you may get rejected and hurt. It comes with getting to know someone. And partly because that's true, you have to be selective upfront. Are they christians, or do they just say they are? Can take awhile to find out.
I naturally get flack when I mention things like this: I also like your point "Marry only for love." Because in my experience a vast majority of men do this, but not as many women do... for sure some, and for sure many not.
I almost asked her a question like that around Mother's Day, but it seemed too obvious to me as to why a man would ask a woman such a question, so I withheld from doing so.
You know this about me already because you actually know me, but I am a very respectful gentleman, and I would never want to say/ask or do something that might make a woman feel uncomfortable.
With such being the case, I'm looking for something a bit more covert...
(He dons his fake nose and glasses)
Btw, and this might sound unbelievable, but it's actually true...
I've never asked a woman out in my life.
Instead, they always asked me out.
In the case of my ex-wife, God spoke to us both directly and separately on the same exact day and told us that we were to marry each other, so no one really asked the other person out. In fact, we never dated. We got engaged while on a same trip for separate reasons in Florida, and then I headed back to NJ for 3 months before returning to Florida to marry her.
Who knew that I was such a chick magnet?
lol.
P.S.
I did ask a girl to my Junior Prom in high school, but we never dated.
I've never asked a woman out in my life.
Instead, they always asked me out.
In the case of my ex-wife, God spoke to us both directly and separately on the same exact day and told us that we were to marry each other, so no one really asked the other person out. In fact, we never dated. We got engaged while on a same trip for separate reasons in Florida, and then I headed back to NJ for 3 months before returning to Florida to marry her.
Who knew that I was such a chick magnet?
lol.
P.S.
I did ask a girl to my Junior Prom in high school, but we never dated.
Yes, I know you are a very respectful guy. However, that would not be disrespectful, in my opinion. Unless she has social media or there is someone else there that knows her and you can ask them, then that really is the only respectful/covert way that I can think of is mentioning something about her and a husband.
But hey, I've never asked a woman out either...lol
I've also never asked a guy out either for that matter. I'm old-fashioned that way, I guess. So guys have always had to ask me out.
I had a guy friend... we flirted for about a year and neither one of us was willing to ask the other out. But finally, he asked me did I like him and I said yes. He said well why didn't you ask me out? He said that he had never had to ask a girl out they always asked him... Guess, he was a chick magnet too....lol
I told him that I never had and never would ask a guy out because I don't feel like that is a woman's place. Guess that makes me old-fashioned.
To make that long story short...We dated for a while, but it ultimately didn't work out....So there is that as well....lol
But anyhow, I think there are more women out there who feel like the man should initiate a date. So a guy may have to do the asking when it comes to some ladies.
Thanks for both of your replies.
I'm not sure what I'll do, if anything, but I appreciate you taking the time to offer me some advice.
If she really is interested, then maybe she'll let me know that she's not married somehow.
Time will tell.
Sort of, but not really.Your post script cancels out your intro
In other words, I wasn't really asking her out on a date. it was more a sociable thing to do in high school. Interestingly enough, I ran into that girl many years later (I can't remember where exactly, but I think that it was some sort of food establishment). She was with her brother who I recognized, but I didn't recognize her at all. Damn, she looked good...lol. She actually got a little irritated that I didn't recognize her, but she looked totally different.
Anyhow, maybe I should ditch the bear suit for a chicken outfit.
Seriously, though...I truly am a gentleman, and it's just totally against my nature to move forward with a woman when I'm not sure that there is mutual interest.
You just say
can I talk to your husband? I need to ask him something.
If she says sure then you compliment him on his wife, or she might say hes busy but you ask her can youu pass on a message to him
if she says oh I dont have one or Im not married then theres your answer.
anyway
If you are asking a woman out. You need to ask her where shed like to go and then you take her there. Its called making an offer.
I dont know why men dont do this. its not that hard...or is it?
can I talk to your husband? I need to ask him something.
If she says sure then you compliment him on his wife, or she might say hes busy but you ask her can youu pass on a message to him
if she says oh I dont have one or Im not married then theres your answer.
anyway
If you are asking a woman out. You need to ask her where shed like to go and then you take her there. Its called making an offer.
I dont know why men dont do this. its not that hard...or is it?