Is it Biblical to marry a divorced person?
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C
I believe God would also include that anyone under the tyranny of physical and mental abuse can also be excused from the legal bond of marriage. But like you and others have mentioned previously, all possibilities for reconciliation have to be exhausted before legal divorce can occur.
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Yeah, it's not just the end of a relationship between a couple, children and property are involved, there's often a nasty fight. I remember a pastor made this brilliant analogy, that a divorce is like peeling off a tape off a surface, and getting remarried is like sticking that tape onto anther surface. It's much harder to stay tightly and securely on that new surface because the strength of adheresion has gotten significantly weaker when you peeled it off. If you do this multiple times, that tape would not be able to stick on anything, and similarly, after several rounds of hook up, shack up and break up, a person would get numb, and it's much harder for them to commit in any long term relationship.
The traditional interpretation makes sense the way these verses are rendered in the KJV:
Matthew 19:9b "...and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery. "
Matthew 5:32 32 But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery.
Matthew 19:9b "...and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery. "
Matthew 5:32 32 But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery.
A Christian can marry anyone they want. Now, somethings that the Bible permits is still not ok. For example there is no scriptural reason for an adult man to marry a teenage girl but we still know it’s gross.
A few , like within churches of Christ, say that the only reason for a divorce is because of adultery. But we can also, just like with adults marrying kids, realize it’s also ok for a woman to divorce a man who is beating her. We don’t need God to tell us it’s ok for an abused woman to leave her husband before he bears her or their kids to death.
But let’s avoid that a moment and look at some key passages.
1 Corinthians 7:25-31
New American Standard Bible
25 Now concerning virgins, I have no command of the Lord, but I am offering direction as one who by the mercy of the Lord is trustworthy. 26 I think, then, that this is good in view of the present distress, that it is good for a man to remain as he is. 27 Are you bound to a wife? Do not seek to be released. Are you released from a wife? Do not seek a wife. 28 But if you marry, you have not sinned; and if a virgin marries, she has not sinned. Yet such people as yourselves will have trouble in this life, and I am trying to spare you. 29 But this I say, brothers, the time has been shortened, so that from now on those who have wives should be as though they had none; 30 and those who weep, as though they did not weep; and those who rejoice, as though they did not rejoice; and those who buy, as though they did not possess; 31 and those who use the world, as though they did not make full use of it; for the present form of this world is passing away.
Here Paul says it’s good for them to not marry because the time has been shorted. But if they do marry, it’s not a sin.
So what is the present distress and what event was closer to occur because of shorted time? Paul was alluding to the persecution of Nero upon the Christian’s and Jews. That’s not something we have to worry about now. So no, Paul never commanded celibacy, he suggested it because of what was about to happen and even then said it’s not a sin.
In these verses he says this.
15 But if the unbeliever leaves, let it be so. The brother or the sister is not bound in such circumstances; God has called us to live in peace. 16 How do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or, how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife?
Paul said if you are married to a unbeliever, and they leave, then you are no longer bound to them. What was the bondage? The marriage. Paul is saying you are no bound to that marriage with them and don’t worry about it because there is no reason to think they would have ever been able to save them.
So yes a Christian can married a divorced person. Why reason should they not?
A few , like within churches of Christ, say that the only reason for a divorce is because of adultery. But we can also, just like with adults marrying kids, realize it’s also ok for a woman to divorce a man who is beating her. We don’t need God to tell us it’s ok for an abused woman to leave her husband before he bears her or their kids to death.
But let’s avoid that a moment and look at some key passages.
1 Corinthians 7:25-31
New American Standard Bible
25 Now concerning virgins, I have no command of the Lord, but I am offering direction as one who by the mercy of the Lord is trustworthy. 26 I think, then, that this is good in view of the present distress, that it is good for a man to remain as he is. 27 Are you bound to a wife? Do not seek to be released. Are you released from a wife? Do not seek a wife. 28 But if you marry, you have not sinned; and if a virgin marries, she has not sinned. Yet such people as yourselves will have trouble in this life, and I am trying to spare you. 29 But this I say, brothers, the time has been shortened, so that from now on those who have wives should be as though they had none; 30 and those who weep, as though they did not weep; and those who rejoice, as though they did not rejoice; and those who buy, as though they did not possess; 31 and those who use the world, as though they did not make full use of it; for the present form of this world is passing away.
Here Paul says it’s good for them to not marry because the time has been shorted. But if they do marry, it’s not a sin.
So what is the present distress and what event was closer to occur because of shorted time? Paul was alluding to the persecution of Nero upon the Christian’s and Jews. That’s not something we have to worry about now. So no, Paul never commanded celibacy, he suggested it because of what was about to happen and even then said it’s not a sin.
In these verses he says this.
15 But if the unbeliever leaves, let it be so. The brother or the sister is not bound in such circumstances; God has called us to live in peace. 16 How do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or, how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife?
Paul said if you are married to a unbeliever, and they leave, then you are no longer bound to them. What was the bondage? The marriage. Paul is saying you are no bound to that marriage with them and don’t worry about it because there is no reason to think they would have ever been able to save them.
So yes a Christian can married a divorced person. Why reason should they not?
Due to some of the misinformation here I want to give a deeper response to help clear up something things. Up above someone stated that the word “ unmarried” meant virgin. But that’s false. Unmarried means not married and in this case it’s referring to the divorced and in about to prove it.
So let’s go through the entire chapter of 1 Corinthians 7 essentially.
8 Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I do. 9 But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion
So these verses are saying it’s ok for the unmarried and the widowed to marry rather than burn with passion. So let’s see if we can eliminate who the unmarried is. Well we can begin with it’s not the widowed.
10 To the married I give this command (not I, but the Lord): A wife must not separate from her husband. 11 But if she does, she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband. And a husband must not divorce his wife.
12 To the rest I say this (I, not the Lord):If any brother has a wife who is not a believer and she is willing to live with him, he must not divorce her. 13 And if a woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce him. 14 For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified through her believing husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy.
Here Paul talks to the married. So the unmarried is also not the married.
25 Now about virgins: I have no command from the Lord, but I give a judgment as one who by the Lord’s mercy is trustworthy. 26 Because of the present crisis, I think that it is good for a man to remain as he is. 27 Are you pledged to a woman? Do not seek to be released. Are you free from such a commitment? Do not look for a wife. 28 But if you do marry, you have not sinned; and if a virgin marries, she has not sinned.
Here we can see that the married is not virgins because he’s now addressing the virgins. But there is one more verse that really makes it clear unmarried is not referring to the virgins who have never married.
34 and his interests are divided. The woman who is unmarried, and the virgin, is concerned about the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and spirit; but one who is married is concerned about the things of the world, how she may please her husband.
Here Paul refers to the virgins and unmarried in the same sentence so he’s not referring to the same groups. He’s saying it’s permissible for the unmarried , a person no longer married, to wed just like it’s ok for a virgin (someone never married before in their culture ) to also get married. So no theological reasoning to assume unmarried means never before married virgin.
So let’s go through the entire chapter of 1 Corinthians 7 essentially.
8 Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I do. 9 But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion
So these verses are saying it’s ok for the unmarried and the widowed to marry rather than burn with passion. So let’s see if we can eliminate who the unmarried is. Well we can begin with it’s not the widowed.
10 To the married I give this command (not I, but the Lord): A wife must not separate from her husband. 11 But if she does, she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband. And a husband must not divorce his wife.
12 To the rest I say this (I, not the Lord):If any brother has a wife who is not a believer and she is willing to live with him, he must not divorce her. 13 And if a woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce him. 14 For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified through her believing husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy.
Here Paul talks to the married. So the unmarried is also not the married.
25 Now about virgins: I have no command from the Lord, but I give a judgment as one who by the Lord’s mercy is trustworthy. 26 Because of the present crisis, I think that it is good for a man to remain as he is. 27 Are you pledged to a woman? Do not seek to be released. Are you free from such a commitment? Do not look for a wife. 28 But if you do marry, you have not sinned; and if a virgin marries, she has not sinned.
Here we can see that the married is not virgins because he’s now addressing the virgins. But there is one more verse that really makes it clear unmarried is not referring to the virgins who have never married.
34 and his interests are divided. The woman who is unmarried, and the virgin, is concerned about the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and spirit; but one who is married is concerned about the things of the world, how she may please her husband.
Here Paul refers to the virgins and unmarried in the same sentence so he’s not referring to the same groups. He’s saying it’s permissible for the unmarried , a person no longer married, to wed just like it’s ok for a virgin (someone never married before in their culture ) to also get married. So no theological reasoning to assume unmarried means never before married virgin.
C
There are some Christians, whose morally wrong behaviour and lack of remorse for it in marriage has resulted in them being divorced, who will be ineligible to remarry as far as Christ is concerned.
As for the rest, every case will have to be analysed and judged on its merits as to whether or not they will be eligible for remarriage.
Of course, being eligible for marriage doesn't necessarily mean we are suitable for marriage. How well have we been educated and prepared for it? 🙂
As for the rest, every case will have to be analysed and judged on its merits as to whether or not they will be eligible for remarriage.
Of course, being eligible for marriage doesn't necessarily mean we are suitable for marriage. How well have we been educated and prepared for it? 🙂
I'll say this from my own life and seeing people staying in toxic marriages to the point they die in that marriage. It not only affects you alone when you marry the wrong person but it affects your relatives, like example, your siblings, your parents and your children. Especially children.
That's why Paul would say it is better to live alone in his letters. But, He adds that if you're unable to satiate your carnal needs, it is better to find a partner.
Well, divorce usually happens because of unfaithfulness. That's one of the main reasons. But to think that a divorced person cannot marry is wrong indeed. A divorce happens because two people are unable to co-exist. They're too different. That's why it happens.
Unfaithfulness is one thing. But what if, for example... the husband and wife are both faithful to each other and the wife tortures the husband verbally and physically. Or the husband physically assaults his wife and abuses her verbally. Or the wife is cruel to the old parents of the husband.
Christian faith asks us to bear the cross and walk in life. But when the burden is more than what one can carry, it no longer affects that person alone. It affects everyone involved in the family. The longer you put up, the longer the damage.
Family counseling and therapy can help set things right. But if that fails, then the only option is divorce. And you cannot live with such an abusive spouse after what happened. Because if it does not change, it does not change and that is not good for either the man or the woman involved in the relationship.
I know, because I come from such a family and I've seen such things happen among families I know. If a man and a woman is not a unit, then it does not add to a marriage. I'm not talking about families who are not Christian families. They are all Christian families.
And then, are not divorced people human beings. Where will they go to satiate their sexual needs? It's good to marry again. Start over. And that can be hard too. Life is not easy. But with prayer and faith in God, I'm sure, We all can get through.
When you look at it, marriage according to the Church and society is just bound by laws. But Jesus binds a marriage by His love. And where His love is lacking in that marriage, then such a marriage is questionable even if it is a Christian marriage to stand against the odds of life.
The Bible says forgive, forget, accept and carry your cross and follow Jesus. How many people can do that in today's world? Are they willing to do that when it becomes difficult? That's what marriage is about. You have to fight for it to save it. If your efforts are single handed and you're bearing the burden alone, then it's time to give everything to God and move on.
As for marrying a divorced person, what wrong can there be? If you love that person, ask the person concerned the circumstances of the divorce. Why it happened. Talk to members of your Church, your family. And talk to your spouse to be's family and then make a decision.
Either way, I wish you both the best.
That's why Paul would say it is better to live alone in his letters. But, He adds that if you're unable to satiate your carnal needs, it is better to find a partner.
Well, divorce usually happens because of unfaithfulness. That's one of the main reasons. But to think that a divorced person cannot marry is wrong indeed. A divorce happens because two people are unable to co-exist. They're too different. That's why it happens.
Unfaithfulness is one thing. But what if, for example... the husband and wife are both faithful to each other and the wife tortures the husband verbally and physically. Or the husband physically assaults his wife and abuses her verbally. Or the wife is cruel to the old parents of the husband.
Christian faith asks us to bear the cross and walk in life. But when the burden is more than what one can carry, it no longer affects that person alone. It affects everyone involved in the family. The longer you put up, the longer the damage.
Family counseling and therapy can help set things right. But if that fails, then the only option is divorce. And you cannot live with such an abusive spouse after what happened. Because if it does not change, it does not change and that is not good for either the man or the woman involved in the relationship.
I know, because I come from such a family and I've seen such things happen among families I know. If a man and a woman is not a unit, then it does not add to a marriage. I'm not talking about families who are not Christian families. They are all Christian families.
And then, are not divorced people human beings. Where will they go to satiate their sexual needs? It's good to marry again. Start over. And that can be hard too. Life is not easy. But with prayer and faith in God, I'm sure, We all can get through.
When you look at it, marriage according to the Church and society is just bound by laws. But Jesus binds a marriage by His love. And where His love is lacking in that marriage, then such a marriage is questionable even if it is a Christian marriage to stand against the odds of life.
The Bible says forgive, forget, accept and carry your cross and follow Jesus. How many people can do that in today's world? Are they willing to do that when it becomes difficult? That's what marriage is about. You have to fight for it to save it. If your efforts are single handed and you're bearing the burden alone, then it's time to give everything to God and move on.
As for marrying a divorced person, what wrong can there be? If you love that person, ask the person concerned the circumstances of the divorce. Why it happened. Talk to members of your Church, your family. And talk to your spouse to be's family and then make a decision.
Either way, I wish you both the best.
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If a man puts away his wife justifiably due to sexual immorality, is he then responsible to also leave open the door for reconciliation with his former spouse?
Response to this question above..
This is very sensitive question. If that wife has gone from your life and is still in sexual contacts with other people, will this not defile you? If there's is body defilement consequences there must be the spiritual defilement consequences and this is what the devil is after because you are the temple of God.
Response to this question above..
This is very sensitive question. If that wife has gone from your life and is still in sexual contacts with other people, will this not defile you? If there's is body defilement consequences there must be the spiritual defilement consequences and this is what the devil is after because you are the temple of God.
It's convenient for you Sir to look at it that way. I don't have that luxury. My beliefs are my beliefs. Of course, I never said I was right. I could be wrong. However what I say, I say from hard, brutal experience. How some people can use God's name to abuse a believer and make them live a miserable life? At the expense of one innocent life, many people will live selfishly. I've seen it with my own two eyes. And religious people are very good at showing apathy towards someone suffering because of the system. It's all very convenient for them.
Apparently people who talk so much about God don't always lead Godly lives contrary to all they speak. They compromise as sinners somewhere in their lives too.
I say it's dangerous when someone sees their life falling apart and being torn to shreds and do nothing to make a better life for themselves and fall victim to society. Heaven begins in this life. Not the afterlife alone. Sure, there's a heaven after we die and we live a life here to get there. But we also must live a life where we find contentment.
And you don't have the right to Judge me. So don't. God alone can judge me. I surrender and submit to His judgement. Right or wrong, He will decide the truth of it.
I may have quoted scripture. I didn't twist anything. I'm allowed to quote scripture.
Apparently people who talk so much about God don't always lead Godly lives contrary to all they speak. They compromise as sinners somewhere in their lives too.
I say it's dangerous when someone sees their life falling apart and being torn to shreds and do nothing to make a better life for themselves and fall victim to society. Heaven begins in this life. Not the afterlife alone. Sure, there's a heaven after we die and we live a life here to get there. But we also must live a life where we find contentment.
And you don't have the right to Judge me. So don't. God alone can judge me. I surrender and submit to His judgement. Right or wrong, He will decide the truth of it.
I may have quoted scripture. I didn't twist anything. I'm allowed to quote scripture.
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I was given a similar admonishment for disagreeing with him. Don't take it personally. I think he just goes around telling people they twist scripture. If you want, you can read it in the Brutality Ignored? thread. Nice post btw.
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C
I'll put this back to you Beckie, if I may please!
Do you think Jesus would stand by and say nothing if he new of one of His disciples abusing His wife in any way?
If that abuse was life threatening, wouldn't He tell her to pull apart from her husband for her own safety, and if children were also involved, their safety as well?
Would He not then hope that the separation might help the husband come to his senses, and repent of his evil doing, and when trust is re-established with his wife, get the family back together?
If the husband refused to repent, would not Jesus' emphases then focus solely on the welfare of the wife, as well as ensuring the sanctity of God's marital institution is maintained? Which is why I said earlier, every case has to be looked at on its own merits, and prudent decisions made accordingly. A pastor or prophet gifted in a deep knowledge of the Lord Jesus and His nature are often best set, as far as human beings are concerned, to assist the party subject to the abuse to come to terms with the direction they should be taking from then on.
There is the scripture that says whatever we bind/make legally binding on earth must have already been made legally binding beforehand in Heaven. Your comment lines up with that. But there is also another scripture which says, with reference to people that are truly being led by the Spirit of God, that whatever they make legally binding on earth will also be made legally binding in Heaven.
Before any of us can be confident of making a judgement on what God expects of us in any situation, we must have beforehand really come to terms with the nature of the Lord Jesus, and therefore of God, before professing to know the His truth.
Thank you for your comment, it is much appreciated 👍 🙂
Do you think Jesus would stand by and say nothing if he new of one of His disciples abusing His wife in any way?
If that abuse was life threatening, wouldn't He tell her to pull apart from her husband for her own safety, and if children were also involved, their safety as well?
Would He not then hope that the separation might help the husband come to his senses, and repent of his evil doing, and when trust is re-established with his wife, get the family back together?
If the husband refused to repent, would not Jesus' emphases then focus solely on the welfare of the wife, as well as ensuring the sanctity of God's marital institution is maintained? Which is why I said earlier, every case has to be looked at on its own merits, and prudent decisions made accordingly. A pastor or prophet gifted in a deep knowledge of the Lord Jesus and His nature are often best set, as far as human beings are concerned, to assist the party subject to the abuse to come to terms with the direction they should be taking from then on.
There is the scripture that says whatever we bind/make legally binding on earth must have already been made legally binding beforehand in Heaven. Your comment lines up with that. But there is also another scripture which says, with reference to people that are truly being led by the Spirit of God, that whatever they make legally binding on earth will also be made legally binding in Heaven.
Before any of us can be confident of making a judgement on what God expects of us in any situation, we must have beforehand really come to terms with the nature of the Lord Jesus, and therefore of God, before professing to know the His truth.
Thank you for your comment, it is much appreciated 👍 🙂
C
I can understand the compassion you feel for the innocents that suffer at the hands of abusers, particularly if that be from that of an unfaithful spouse. I feel the same way.
In my opinion your use of some scriptures took them out of the context that they were originally given in, and that action is dangerous.
Your inference that God is compassionate towards those suffering unjustness is of course very true. The greatest example of mistreatment and abuse is that which the Lord Jesus suffered at our hands. But our Father still expected Jesus to stay the course and carry out His commands, and He did.
That leads me to your mixed quote about taking up our cross... Jesus' inference there was that in order to be a true follower of His we need to bend to God's will in everything, flee all forms of temptation, and follow His Way, even if that means we suffer unjustly.
By all means read RM's comment he referred to in that 'Brutality' forum and you will see how some can take a scripture out of context to justify their own human argument.
Stay safe and well. Shalom, Tony
In my opinion your use of some scriptures took them out of the context that they were originally given in, and that action is dangerous.
Your inference that God is compassionate towards those suffering unjustness is of course very true. The greatest example of mistreatment and abuse is that which the Lord Jesus suffered at our hands. But our Father still expected Jesus to stay the course and carry out His commands, and He did.
That leads me to your mixed quote about taking up our cross... Jesus' inference there was that in order to be a true follower of His we need to bend to God's will in everything, flee all forms of temptation, and follow His Way, even if that means we suffer unjustly.
By all means read RM's comment he referred to in that 'Brutality' forum and you will see how some can take a scripture out of context to justify their own human argument.
Stay safe and well. Shalom, Tony
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Never said one should not make themselves safe. Safe and divorce are not the same thing. The churches have failed in teaching the value of marriage .
The failure of the church does not change the Word of God . We see the nature of Jesus in His Word His word is very clear on divorce .... Dancing around with feel good words again does not change what the Word says. The more forums i read the i see how liberalism is suffocating the church. The church hides the sins of those they hold in high esteem it is a real shame.
Is divorce the unpardonable sin.... NO
Is marring a divorced person the unpardonable sin ... NO
Is divorce acceptable to the Lord outside of adultery ...NO
Yet we have forgiveness at the foot of His Cross.
That mud pie is very clear
The failure of the church does not change the Word of God . We see the nature of Jesus in His Word His word is very clear on divorce .... Dancing around with feel good words again does not change what the Word says. The more forums i read the i see how liberalism is suffocating the church. The church hides the sins of those they hold in high esteem it is a real shame.
Is divorce the unpardonable sin.... NO
Is marring a divorced person the unpardonable sin ... NO
Is divorce acceptable to the Lord outside of adultery ...NO
Yet we have forgiveness at the foot of His Cross.
That mud pie is very clear