Need to Soften My Heart

[Snacks]

A friend from youth moved back in town after many years. He’s a “Debbie Downer” and his constant barrage of negativity about EVERYTHING in life is physically and emotionally draining to everyone who knows him. Waitresses in our local diner actually told him to brighten up and talk about positive things otherwise they wouldn’t serve him.

After being back in town a few months he suffered a stroke and spent a year in rehab but is now back home. He doesn’t want visitors because he feels he is susceptible to Covid so he reaches out by texting. He was texting me once a day, then twice a day, now its three times a day, sometimes as early as 5:30AM. I don’t even communicate with my family members that often.

God forgive me because I understand he’s bored and depressed, but he’s become an intrusion. I only respond to about 1/3 of his texts and recently started blocking him on weekends. I need to soften my heart, overcome my apathy towards him and be a good example of Christian faith, but if I give him an inch he’ll take a mile. Any advice is greatly appreciated. Thank you.

 

[A-Sword-Cometh]

You should tell him the truth because the truth is the way of Jesus. Nothing good comes from lies and avoidance, all that is really from the Devil.

 

[GardenofWeeden]

It's okay to be honest and set boundaries with this friend. Give him times he may and may not text or call you for normal chat, but let him know emergencies are different (you want to be there if he really needs you). Don't lie to him or avoid him, that will hurt more than being bluntly honest with him. Teach him how to look for the gratitude. Maybe send him a verse a day about joy, happiness, being thankful or mercy. Ask him to pray over and study the verses in depth. We are so much more than our circumstances, but sometimes it's difficult to see beyond our circumstances. Show him ways to be used by God as he is, instead of letting him feel sorry for himself because of his circumstance. Give him things to do, show him cool videos on youtube, or whatever video platform you use. Share funny memes with him, little things to show him you think of him, care about him, but you don't necessarily have 24 hours a day to chat with him. MAybe? I don't if this will help or not, but I doubt it hurts?

 

[Snacks]

Great advice so far. Thank you both for your outreach. I greatly appreciate it. 💕💕

 

[Deuteronomy]

Need to Soften My Heart

Hello Snacks, if that's true, then it seems like the Lord may already be busy at work helping you to do just that, yes .. Philippians 1:6, 2:13; Ephesians 3:20-21 (especially when you consider that patience and kindness are needed, and that they are also the two most important/principal ingredients in agape .. see 1 Corinthians 13:4, or just look at 1 Cor 13 below in my signature line).

In this way, the Lord may help the two of you be a blessing to one aother (as it sounds like your "Debbie Downer" friend is pretty needy right now and, on the other hand, he needs to know what you do about the Lord and His salvation, even if he isn't aware of that fact at the moment .. cf Romans 10:17).

Perhaps you should begin by praying for him and for his salvation on a regular basis

God bless you!

~Deut

Galatians 6​

9 Let us not lose heart in doing good, for in due time we will reap if we do not grow weary.​

10 So then, while we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, and especially to those who are of the household of the faith.​

​

 

[Magenta]

Any advice is greatly appreciated. Thank you.

Suggest he become a member here Don't tell him your user name though

 

[Snacks]

Hello Snacks, if that's true, then it seems like the Lord may already be busy at work helping you to do just that, yes .. Philippians 1:6, 2:13; Ephesians 3:20-21 (especially when you consider that patience and kindness are needed, and that they are also the two most important/principal ingredients in agape .. see 1 Corinthians 13:4, or just look at 1 Cor 13 below in my signature line).

In this way, the Lord may help the two of you be a blessing to one aother (as it sounds like your "Debbie Downer" friend is pretty needy right now and, on the other hand, he needs to know what you do about the Lord and His salvation, even if he isn't aware of that fact at the moment .. cf Romans 10:17).

Perhaps you should begin by praying for him and for his salvation on a regular basis

God bless you!

~Deut

Galatians 6​

9 Let us not lose heart in doing good, for in due time we will reap if we do not grow weary.​

10 So then, while we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, and especially to those who are of the household of the faith.​

​

Good morning Deuteronomy. Thank you for such a heartfelt response. I am going to heed your advice as well as that from the other members who have responded. I will do what you suggest and let you know how things work out. Thank you and thank you everyone. God bless you.

 

[Snacks]

Suggest he become a member here Don't tell him your user name though

I was actually thinking of doing that. 😆
Thank you, Magenta. Now that you suggested it I’m going to follow through with it. 😊

 

[followJesustoday]

A friend from youth moved back in town after many years. He’s a “Debbie Downer” and his constant barrage of negativity about EVERYTHING in life is physically and emotionally draining to everyone who knows him. Waitresses in our local diner actually told him to brighten up and talk about positive things otherwise they wouldn’t serve him.

After being back in town a few months he suffered a stroke and spent a year in rehab but is now back home. He doesn’t want visitors because he feels he is susceptible to Covid so he reaches out by texting. He was texting me once a day, then twice a day, now its three times a day, sometimes as early as 5:30AM. I don’t even communicate with my family members that often.

God forgive me because I understand he’s bored and depressed, but he’s become an intrusion. I only respond to about 1/3 of his texts and recently started blocking him on weekends. I need to soften my heart, overcome my apathy towards him and be a good example of Christian faith, but if I give him an inch he’ll take a mile. Any advice is greatly appreciated. Thank you.

Suggest he listen to either Jimmy Evans on YouTube--he is great and easy to listen to.
Also have him listen on SECC live sermons Louisville, Ky on Sundays 11:30
Also have a group prayer for him to open his heart to the joy and positivity of Jesus Christ!

 

[followJesustoday]

Hello Snacks, if that's true, then it seems like the Lord may already be busy at work helping you to do just that, yes .. Philippians 1:6, 2:13; Ephesians 3:20-21 (especially when you consider that patience and kindness are needed, and that they are also the two most important/principal ingredients in agape .. see 1 Corinthians 13:4, or just look at 1 Cor 13 below in my signature line).

In this way, the Lord may help the two of you be a blessing to one aother (as it sounds like your "Debbie Downer" friend is pretty needy right now and, on the other hand, he needs to know what you do about the Lord and His salvation, even if he isn't aware of that fact at the moment .. cf Romans 10:17).

Perhaps you should begin by praying for him and for his salvation on a regular basis

God bless you!

~Deut

Galatians 6​

9 Let us not lose heart in doing good, for in due time we will reap if we do not grow weary.​

10 So then, while we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, and especially to those who are of the household of the faith.​

​

great advice--Deuteronomy

 

[TheIndianGirl]

A friend from youth moved back in town after many years. He’s a “Debbie Downer” and his constant barrage of negativity about EVERYTHING in life is physically and emotionally draining to everyone who knows him. Waitresses in our local diner actually told him to brighten up and talk about positive things otherwise they wouldn’t serve him.

After being back in town a few months he suffered a stroke and spent a year in rehab but is now back home. He doesn’t want visitors because he feels he is susceptible to Covid so he reaches out by texting. He was texting me once a day, then twice a day, now its three times a day, sometimes as early as 5:30AM. I don’t even communicate with my family members that often.

God forgive me because I understand he’s bored and depressed, but he’s become an intrusion. I only respond to about 1/3 of his texts and recently started blocking him on weekends. I need to soften my heart, overcome my apathy towards him and be a good example of Christian faith, but if I give him an inch he’ll take a mile. Any advice is greatly appreciated. Thank you.

If he is being a Debbie Downer and that is impacting your mood, you need to let him know. I have mentioned that to people and told them I need space. Also know that most people go through phases in their lives when they too are Debbie Downers, and you may also once day. During those times you need support. Try your best to maintain space, but also provide support when necessary.