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Aephus

Aephus

Member
#1
Jun 14, 2016
197
145
43
#1
Short version:

I don’t see evidence of me bearing fruit of the Spirit. I am irritable and selfish most days. I need prayer & help getting back on track.

Long version:

Back in December of 2021, I was diagnosed with MS. During the whole hospital stay, the diagnosis, and even after, God really sustained me and gave me peace. I really felt as though I had “entered into His rest”, so to speak. After leaving the hospital, I stayed with my mom & dad for the next couple months, as I was still having trouble getting around, using a walker. I recovered pretty well, probably by mid-January I was at about 80-90% back to normal. I had some things come up where I had reacted/responded in a poor way, had gotten to a “holier-than-thou” thinking towards an individual, had gotten upset/offended at my parents for no good reason on another occasion, and made some decisions against what God was speaking to me on again another occasion.

I’ve since moved back to my own place. Currently, I don’t feel close to God, or even really a desire to seek Him as I should. I’m in a position where a lot is required of me, I’m in positions of leadership in life, I just feel I’m doing everyone a disservice and not caring about it really.

I know things need to change, I’m just having a tough time making them, wanting them, etc.

Thank you for reading and praying for me.

(Questions while writing this: Is it wrong to do something if your heart is not in it? Would doing it anyways, knowing you should or it is the right thing, even though the heart isn’t there be acceptable? Does the acknowledgement of “I should be doing this, it is the right thing” make it okay/acceptable?
I would much rather have the desire and do something with my whole heart than do something without my heart in it, though perhaps there are times for doing so. When feelings align properly with what’s right and with truth, that’s the best.)
 
2ndTimothyGroup

2ndTimothyGroup

Well-known member
#2
Feb 20, 2021
5,883
1,954
113
#2
My friend . . . your circumstance isn't entirely your fault. Why? Because I can almost guarantee that no one in your church nor any of your friends have ever taught or even given a mild emphasis on the below Scripture. And when you read it, I wouldn't be surprised if you become angry. I'll tell you this . . . I was really angry when I found this Scripture and realized that it was exempt from the lips of every "christian" I had ever known. And that's saying something, for I was baptized at age twelve and didn't see this Truth until 40 years later. If you're a True Christian, your regenerated heart will resonate with the below seven incredible verses:

Colossians 2:9-15 NLT - "For in Christ lives all the fullness of God in a human body. 10 So you also are complete through your union with Christ, who is the head over every ruler and authority. 11 When you came to Christ, you were "circumcised," but not by a physical procedure. Christ performed a spiritual circumcision--the cutting away of your sinful nature. 12 For you were buried with Christ when you were baptized. And with him you were raised to new life because you trusted the mighty power of God, who raised Christ from the dead. 13 You were dead because of your sins and because your sinful nature was not yet cut away. Then God made you alive with Christ, for he forgave all our sins. 14 He canceled the record of the charges against us and took it away by nailing it to the cross. 15 In this way, he disarmed the spiritual rulers and authorities. He shamed them publicly by his victory over them on the cross."
 
JohnDB

JohnDB

Well-known member
#3
Jan 16, 2021
6,280
2,560
113
#3
Aephus said:
Short version:

I don’t see evidence of me bearing fruit of the Spirit. I am irritable and selfish most days. I need prayer & help getting back on track.

Long version:

Back in December of 2021, I was diagnosed with MS. During the whole hospital stay, the diagnosis, and even after, God really sustained me and gave me peace. I really felt as though I had “entered into His rest”, so to speak. After leaving the hospital, I stayed with my mom & dad for the next couple months, as I was still having trouble getting around, using a walker. I recovered pretty well, probably by mid-January I was at about 80-90% back to normal. I had some things come up where I had reacted/responded in a poor way, had gotten to a “holier-than-thou” thinking towards an individual, had gotten upset/offended at my parents for no good reason on another occasion, and made some decisions against what God was speaking to me on again another occasion.

I’ve since moved back to my own place. Currently, I don’t feel close to God, or even really a desire to seek Him as I should. I’m in a position where a lot is required of me, I’m in positions of leadership in life, I just feel I’m doing everyone a disservice and not caring about it really.

I know things need to change, I’m just having a tough time making them, wanting them, etc.

Thank you for reading and praying for me.

(Questions while writing this: Is it wrong to do something if your heart is not in it? Would doing it anyways, knowing you should or it is the right thing, even though the heart isn’t there be acceptable? Does the acknowledgement of “I should be doing this, it is the right thing” make it okay/acceptable?
I would much rather have the desire and do something with my whole heart than do something without my heart in it, though perhaps there are times for doing so. When feelings align properly with what’s right and with truth, that’s the best.)
Click to expand...
It's a classic case of bitterness.
Do not feel alone or that you should know better and do better...
Happens to the best of us....ahem *me* cough cough.....

But it happens when something happens to us that we feel isn't righteous or that we think we didn't deserve. (Like abuse or chronic disease)

And we get bitter over it. And we unconsciously blame ourselves for it all.
And the perfect herbicide for bitter roots is forgiveness...better than Roundup ever thought about being for weeds. Use as much as possible. Then after a while use some more.

And it's time to get your head out of the clouds. Meaning that this faith you hold isn't about having holy thoughts...it's about action and performance based upon that faith.

Jesus was a "Friend to sinners "...the same way as God was Abraham's friend. And if you want to be like Jesus then you need to be the same. It's called exercising grace. Something that you want from God...and as much as you give you will receive back from God...a good measure shaken and pressed down and overflowing.

Do you want to be well?
Up to you...cure is almost as bad as the disease in this case...but it is very freeing to be well.
 
Bingo

Bingo

Well-known member
#5
Feb 9, 2019
9,422
4,837
113
#5
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"Praying with you and for you that your life becomes more in harmony with
God. And knowing if the heart is not in it, it may be time for a serious inventory
of perhaps self-inflicted misery and pray to ponder this carefully.
-I learned long time ago, I needed God in my life, and I was willing to change the
best I knew how and thank God it works so long as I work at it.
-I pray you come to find what is needed in your life and earnestly make the effort
to make needed corrections."
'Amen'
 
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