Girlfriend said that if not in a relationship she would have sex with a stranger for $10 million depending on the person. Red flag?

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shittim

Senior Member
Dec 16, 2016
13,941
7,851
113
#41
Oddly enough, you agree with Resident Alien who pretty much said what I said, before I said it, but you disagreed with my response. Why is that? Is it because I disagreed with your comments in other posts, so you are holding a personal vendetta against me? That's very sad!

The reason why I said God has answered the OP's question, is that it seems to me that Resident Alien has the giftedness of the prophetic insight, a seer, a spokesman of the Lord, as am I.
I doubt that about each of you.
best wishes
 
K

kaylagrl

Guest
#42
An update:
I spoke with the GF at length yesterday in a very serious conversation about what she said. She said that she thinks having sex with a stranger for $10 million is wrong, and not what she SHOULD do, as the bible says this is wrong. She said she would feel guilty about it. She said the she is a brutally honest person, and she told me what she probably WOULD realistically do. She said that she certainly would not teach her kids that such an action is the right thing to do, emphasizing that what she would realistically do vs. what you would teach your children is different. She said she would teach her children values of sexual morality to which we were on the same page about. She agreed with me that we should both aim at being people who don’t accept that offer, and that it is not a scenario that she hopes or wants to happen.
She asked me what I would do in such a situation, and my gut reply was “I would decline as that money is not important to me”. But on second thought I think its unrealistic that I wouldn’t consider it. At the end of the day, I think I would turn it down as you’ve got to draw the line somewhere and it’s a serious stain on your soul and character. I’m no angel in terms of my sexual past, and neither is she, but to me there are just some lines I don’t think I can cross. She asked that I just love her for the flawed human being that she is.

What are your thoughts on this? What is the Christian thing to do in my situation?

Hello, is this poster still around? Maybe you can give us an update as to where things are now. Here's the red flags I see as a married person...

First off, there is no such thing as "somewhat Christian". You are or you are not. There is no in between and that is the first thing you both need to fix if you expect to get married and stay in that marriage.

Second red flag. In your first post I would have said perhaps your gf made an inappropriate joke. But here you've said you have talked more seriously about the situation and she knows you're not joking. So here's an issue I see, what you do and what you teach your children to do better be the same thing!! She said she would teach your children to do right, even though she herself may consider doing wrong. Let me tell you this, and many a sad parent has learned that a child does what they see YOU do, not what you say. If you're not willing to live the life of fully committed Christian, not a somewhat Christian, as a parent, your children will do what they see you doing. You both need to understand that from the get go.

The question you have both asked of each other, although a rather odd one, is making certain things clear. It's not wrong to sleep with a stranger because of the amount or because of love of money. The reason it is wrong is because you are defiling yourself. You are abusing sex that God said is for your spouse only. If you think of sex so carelessly, yes that is a huge red flag.

Let me give you an example. I have a friend that was divorced. I had no intention of dating him, we were friends when he was married. We didn't date, we had one supper together. He moved on as did I. He married for a third time and I had married. So he began emailing me and I didn't answer. One morning my husband was sick and didn't get to church. My parents we going out for dinner and this same guy offered to drive me home. Just he and I. I refused and said I would wait for my husband. My parents drove me home. I told my husband and he thanked me for taking that stand. This guy continued to email me until I answered and said I was married and I wasn't going to talk to him behind my husbands back. I haven't heard from him since then.

Sex is between you and your spouse. Honor that. Keep temptation away. This is not a difficult question. If she's leaving the door of possibility open to a question like that, yes it's a red flag, a big one. Hope you have found a solution to this issue. Pop back in and update us if you have.
 

shittim

Senior Member
Dec 16, 2016
13,941
7,851
113
#44
He already has, that is why I doubt.(y)
best wishes
 
K

kaylagrl

Guest
#45
Oddly enough, you agree with Resident Alien who pretty much said what I said, before I said it, but you disagreed with my response. Why is that? Is it because I disagreed with your comments in other forums, so you are holding a personal vendetta against me? That's very sad!

The reason why I said God has answered the OP's question, is that it seems to me that Resident Alien has the giftedness of the prophetic insight, a seer, a spokesman of the Lord, as am I.

Brother, every single Christian is a spokesperson for the Lord. We are charged to spread the Gospel to the world. Alien doesn't believe in prophetic insight, or didn't you just see his newest post ripping Pentecostals?
 
C

ChristianTonyB

Guest
#46
Brother, every single Christian is a spokesperson for the Lord. We are charged to spread the Gospel to the world. Alien doesn't believe in prophetic insight, or didn't you just see his newest post ripping Pentecostals?
That's incorrect. Check what Paul said about it. And yes, I did. And irrespective of the credibility or otherwise of the information he provided in his argument, his premise is correct!
 
C

ChristianTonyB

Guest
#48
Brother, every single Christian is a spokesperson for the Lord. We are charged to spread the Gospel to the world. Alien doesn't believe in prophetic insight, or didn't you just see his newest post ripping Pentecostals?
My apologies for my previous reply KG, I didn't articulate my reasoning behind my comment at all. Therefore I was not being fair towards you. Sorry.

If my memory serves me right, there are 3 types of prophetic-like services mentioned in the New Testament, that are relevant to the church of God.

One is the gift of men set aside by God to serve in the capacity of prophets (forthtell and foretell) in support of the church.

Another is the prophetic gift given to Christian believers by the Holy Spirit as He sees fit, for the encouragement and spiritual growth of fellow believers.

The third type, and the gift I suspect RL has, comes from one of the natural gifts (combination of faculties, qualities and talents) given at physical birth. The gift I am referring to here is often found in consulting analysts, that when fed with sufficient information is able to conclude what the most logical and therefore best solution is for a problem or direction. Paul refers to this gift as a gift of prophecy, and some Bible translations and Christian commentators paraphrase it as the gift of prophetic insight. People in the church with this gift are useful for providing advice to individuals, groups and pastors (shepherds/overseers/bishops/elders) on what they believe is God's will in any particular matter, as far as the depth or age of their faith would allow.
 
K

kaylagrl

Guest
#49
My apologies for my previous reply KG, I didn't articulate my reasoning behind my comment at all. Therefore I was not being fair towards you. Sorry.

If my memory serves me right, there are 3 types of prophetic-like services mentioned in the New Testament, that are relevant to the church of God.

One is the gift of men set aside by God to serve in the capacity of prophets (forthtell and foretell) in support of the church.

Another is the prophetic gift given to Christian believers by the Holy Spirit as He sees fit, for the encouragement and spiritual growth of fellow believers.

The third type, and the gift I suspect RL has, comes from one of the natural gifts (combination of faculties, qualities and talents) given at physical birth. The gift I am referring to here is often found in consulting analysts, that when fed with sufficient information is able to conclude what the most logical and therefore best solution is for a problem or direction. Paul refers to this gift as a gift of prophecy, and some Bible translations and Christian commentators paraphrase it as the gift of prophetic insight. People in the church with this gift are useful for providing advice to individuals, groups and pastors (shepherds/overseers/bishops/elders) on what they believe is God's will in any particular matter, as far as the depth or age of their faith would allow.

Well brother I respect your opinion but I think you and I would differ on RA's giftings. But as a Pentecostal I'm use to being bashed around here and I don't expect it to end any time soon. But I do think you gave good advice to the OP and that is what we all try to do. Blessings.
 

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
27,704
9,636
113
#51
Well brother I respect your opinion but I think you and I would differ on RA's giftings. But as a Pentecostal I'm use to being bashed around here and I don't expect it to end any time soon. But I do think you gave good advice to the OP and that is what we all try to do. Blessings.
I think they bash what they believe Pentecostals are, not what Pentecostals really are. I am also a Pentecostal and I don't recognize any of the things they complain about Pentecostals being.

They seem to have an awful lot of fun with it though...
 

shittim

Senior Member
Dec 16, 2016
13,941
7,851
113
#52
So does the adversary, and we know his time is short
 
C

ChristianTonyB

Guest
#53
Well brother I respect your opinion but I think you and I would differ on RA's giftings. But as a Pentecostal I'm use to being bashed around here and I don't expect it to end any time soon. But I do think you gave good advice to the OP and that is what we all try to do. Blessings.
Yes, let's honour the OP, and focus on helping him 👍
 
K

kaylagrl

Guest
#54
I think they bash what they believe Pentecostals are, not what Pentecostals really are. I am also a Pentecostal and I don't recognize any of the things they complain about Pentecostals being.

They seem to have an awful lot of fun with it though...

Here in the real world, humm sounds like a song. Anyhow outside CC I have friends in all denominations and not one of them have freaked out when they knew I was Pentecostal. We attend each others churches when special functions happen, fellowship together. I'm thinkin' some CC folks are a' livin' in the back woods somewheres and don't know there is a big happy family of folks out here loving each other and serving the Lord.
 

Demi777

Senior Member
Oct 13, 2014
6,891
1,960
113
Germany
#55
Here in the real world, humm sounds like a song. Anyhow outside CC I have friends in all denominations and not one of them have freaked out when they knew I was Pentecostal. We attend each others churches when special functions happen, fellowship together. I'm thinkin' some CC folks are a' livin' in the back woods somewheres and don't know there is a big happy family of folks out here loving each other and serving the Lord.
Well its because some pentecostal churches are totally bonkers. Fled from 3 Pentecostal churches myself. They have a bad reputation. And not without reason. While there are good ones as well, the bad ones are always highlighted. Church gossip is like politics. The bad stuff hits the headlines if its accurate or not and the good things are ignored.
 

Amanuensis

Well-known member
Jun 12, 2021
1,457
460
83
#56
My apologies for my previous reply KG, I didn't articulate my reasoning behind my comment at all. Therefore I was not being fair towards you. Sorry.

If my memory serves me right, there are 3 types of prophetic-like services mentioned in the New Testament, that are relevant to the church of God.

One is the gift of men set aside by God to serve in the capacity of prophets (forthtell and foretell) in support of the church.

Another is the prophetic gift given to Christian believers by the Holy Spirit as He sees fit, for the encouragement and spiritual growth of fellow believers.

The third type, and the gift I suspect RL has, comes from one of the natural gifts (combination of faculties, qualities and talents) given at physical birth. The gift I am referring to here is often found in consulting analysts, that when fed with sufficient information is able to conclude what the most logical and therefore best solution is for a problem or direction. Paul refers to this gift as a gift of prophecy, and some Bible translations and Christian commentators paraphrase it as the gift of prophetic insight. People in the church with this gift are useful for providing advice to individuals, groups and pastors (shepherds/overseers/bishops/elders) on what they believe is God's will in any particular matter, as far as the depth or age of their faith would allow.

Think about what you wrote. Your third type. If it is a natural gift, it is not the gift of the Holy Spirit. The gifts of the Spirit that Paul was teaching about in 1 Cor 12-14 when he spoke about the gift of prophecy only come as a result of being born again and then receiving the baptism of the Holy Spirit. No one is born with them.
 
C

ChristianTonyB

Guest
#58
Think about what you wrote. Your third type. If it is a natural gift, it is not the gift of the Holy Spirit. The gifts of the Spirit that Paul was teaching about in 1 Cor 12-14 when he spoke about the gift of prophecy only come as a result of being born again and then receiving the baptism of the Holy Spirit. No one is born with them.
No, that's not correct. Through our being born again, ie our spirit being brought to life by God, instead of that natural gift being solely used for worldly gain, it can now also be channelled by the Holy Spirit for use in the church of God. Have you not heard of the saying that 'he/she is a natural' in the service they are providing, a saying that's spoken in secular circles?
 
C

ChristianTonyB

Guest
#59
Well its because some pentecostal churches are totally bonkers. Fled from 3 Pentecostal churches myself. They have a bad reputation. And not without reason. While there are good ones as well, the bad ones are always highlighted. Church gossip is like politics. The bad stuff hits the headlines if its accurate or not and the good things are ignored.
It's really sad. Coming out of the dourness of Catholicism, this new uplifting way of singing and free prayer speech that I encountered in the AOG (pentecostal church) was refreshing. However, after being there for a year or so I found a similar polarised view of religion, and an undercurrent of hypocrisies in evidence, that had caused me to exit Catholicism. Indeed, I found the same situation in all the different denominations I visited during my Christian walk...different flavours of worship, but same underlying and unadressed problems within the fellowship. It's extremely grieving to have experienced it all. None of us are perfect, and no church group will be perfect, but the systemic unbalanced views on religion, and bad behaviours that I encountered went way beyond simple foibles!
 

JaumeJ

Senior Member
Jul 2, 2011
21,465
6,722
113
#60
Helen, well done, well said.