Loneliness Is Driving Me Nuts.

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Seeking-Christ

Guest
#1
#1
Over the course of 19 years, i have thought about leaving my job. But there is a big problem in my life. I have a learning disability. Which is bad enough to keep me home with my aging parents. The learning disability effects my driving, and it effects many other things in my life. It may even be the reason why people don't seem to like me. The only place I have access to people is my work, and the school that I'm a night janitor for, seems to be increasing in work load. Over these years I had a few janitor pals, co-workers that I could talk too. They all either retired or quit. For the past 2 years I have had nobody, on my level, to talk too. The new guy is almost deaf, and we don't talk. The teachers are too busy for me. The loneliness has been slowly driving me mad. I know that I can talk to God, but God didn't make human beings to exist without some kind of social structure. I have found myself telling some of the teachers that I'm not going to be talking to them anymore. I know this might sound dumb to you, but here is the thing, after the kids leave, they will socialize with each other some, and then settle in for sit down work at a computer. If I approach them at the wrong time, I can get into trouble. It's like how online dating is. And it's one of the biggest reasons why I don't do it anymore. The guy is often expected to start a conversation with a girl. She decides to accept or reject. So the guy has to really watch what He says and hope for the best. I'm not saying that the girls have it easy. I'm not going to debate over who has got it easier than who. All I can do is tell you about my experience, from my point of view. I feel that I need real life fellowship or I'm going to go nuts. Please pray for me!
 
Magenta

Magenta

Senior Member
#2
Jul 3, 2015
59,938
29,304
113
#2
It is unfortunate that due to your learning disability you are unable
to seek fulfilling friendship and fellowship outside of your job. Are
there any places close to where you live where you could volunteer?
Do you live too far from a neighborhood church to be able to attend?
You do come across as someone who is sincere and honest and willing
to compromise and forgive in order to overcome potential pitfalls in
a give-and-take situation that requires mutual understanding and giving
of yourself. Surely those are attractive traits for anyone to have in a friend.
 
C

crmvet

Senior Member
#3
Jul 4, 2013
4,788
1,278
113
#3
Philippians 4:19
 
R

Runningman

Banned
#4
Mar 4, 2020
8,614
3,691
113
#4
Seeking-Christ said:
Over the course of 19 years, i have thought about leaving my job. But there is a big problem in my life. I have a learning disability. Which is bad enough to keep me home with my aging parents. The learning disability effects my driving, and it effects many other things in my life. It may even be the reason why people don't seem to like me. The only place I have access to people is my work, and the school that I'm a night janitor for, seems to be increasing in work load. Over these years I had a few janitor pals, co-workers that I could talk too. They all either retired or quit. For the past 2 years I have had nobody, on my level, to talk too. The new guy is almost deaf, and we don't talk. The teachers are too busy for me. The loneliness has been slowly driving me mad. I know that I can talk to God, but God didn't make human beings to exist without some kind of social structure. I have found myself telling some of the teachers that I'm not going to be talking to them anymore. I know this might sound dumb to you, but here is the thing, after the kids leave, they will socialize with each other some, and then settle in for sit down work at a computer. If I approach them at the wrong time, I can get into trouble. It's like how online dating is. And it's one of the biggest reasons why I don't do it anymore. The guy is often expected to start a conversation with a girl. She decides to accept or reject. So the guy has to really watch what He says and hope for the best. I'm not saying that the girls have it easy. I'm not going to debate over who has got it easier than who. All I can do is tell you about my experience, from my point of view. I feel that I need real life fellowship or I'm going to go nuts. Please pray for me!
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Hi and welcome to CC. I believe you can find some friends here. Please allow me to share some of my perspective.

Part of socializing isn't about being smart, it's just about getting people to like you. People like smiling faces. You don't need to be interesting and/or funny, though those things can help, just try to smile and say hello to everyone; be friendly! It's not instant, but in time people will learn to like you. Be sure to open up and tell people about your life. Being too closed is impersonal and most people won't care to try to understand why.

Praying for you now. God bless.
 
JohnDB

JohnDB

Well-known member
#5
Jan 16, 2021
6,191
2,508
113
#5
Seeking-Christ said:
Over the course of 19 years, i have thought about leaving my job. But there is a big problem in my life. I have a learning disability. Which is bad enough to keep me home with my aging parents. The learning disability effects my driving, and it effects many other things in my life. It may even be the reason why people don't seem to like me. The only place I have access to people is my work, and the school that I'm a night janitor for, seems to be increasing in work load. Over these years I had a few janitor pals, co-workers that I could talk too. They all either retired or quit. For the past 2 years I have had nobody, on my level, to talk too. The new guy is almost deaf, and we don't talk. The teachers are too busy for me. The loneliness has been slowly driving me mad. I know that I can talk to God, but God didn't make human beings to exist without some kind of social structure. I have found myself telling some of the teachers that I'm not going to be talking to them anymore. I know this might sound dumb to you, but here is the thing, after the kids leave, they will socialize with each other some, and then settle in for sit down work at a computer. If I approach them at the wrong time, I can get into trouble. It's like how online dating is. And it's one of the biggest reasons why I don't do it anymore. The guy is often expected to start a conversation with a girl. She decides to accept or reject. So the guy has to really watch what He says and hope for the best. I'm not saying that the girls have it easy. I'm not going to debate over who has got it easier than who. All I can do is tell you about my experience, from my point of view. I feel that I need real life fellowship or I'm going to go nuts. Please pray for me!
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First off let me say that most people suck. And this is coming from an extrovert. People do have redeeming features.

But a good friend is really difficult to come by. A good spouse is even more difficult.

And it's a question that you have to ask yourself. It's not an easy question either.

What price are you willing to pay for a friend?
If it was money then it would be simple...but a good friend is not bought with money. They are purchased with kindness and knowing what they want most and when it's the perfect time to produce that.

Not everyone is actually capable of being a friend to anyone. Then out of those who can be friends there's even fewer who can be your friend.

I like being around people too. We were made by God to be around each other.

So...
There are various clubs and groups that you can join. Small group bible studies are fun. They can be found in every coffee and bakery shop in every city. Usually stemming from a church group somewhere...but not always.

Start with that. Sure you will feel like an outsider until a new person shows up...then you are one of the established members of the group.

Trust me on this...works wonders.
 
O

onewiththespirit

New member
#6
Mar 19, 2022
2
4
1
#6
I AM NEW TO THIS CHRISTIAN CHAT. I MYSELF HAVE BEEN LIVING A NIGHTMARE FOR THE PAST YEAR! I WANT IT OVER, BUT GOD HAS A PLAN FOR ALL OF US! YOU HAVE TO REMEMBER, GOD CREATED US. WE ALL ARE PLACED HERE ON THIS EARTH TO DO HIS WILL, NOT OURS. YOU HAVE AN OPPORTUNITY TO REACH OUT TO SO MANY PEOPLE. I MYSELF AM LOOKING TO FIND MY PURPOSE. I PRAY EVERY DAY FOR THE LORD TO HELP ME MAKE IT THROUGH TO THE NEXT.
 
tourist

tourist

Senior Member
#7
Mar 13, 2014
42,574
17,040
113
69
Tennessee
#7
onewiththespirit said:
I AM NEW TO THIS CHRISTIAN CHAT. I MYSELF HAVE BEEN LIVING A NIGHTMARE FOR THE PAST YEAR! I WANT IT OVER, BUT GOD HAS A PLAN FOR ALL OF US! YOU HAVE TO REMEMBER, GOD CREATED US. WE ALL ARE PLACED HERE ON THIS EARTH TO DO HIS WILL, NOT OURS. YOU HAVE AN OPPORTUNITY TO REACH OUT TO SO MANY PEOPLE. I MYSELF AM LOOKING TO FIND MY PURPOSE. I PRAY EVERY DAY FOR THE LORD TO HELP ME MAKE IT THROUGH TO THE NEXT.
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I am going to say a prayer for you.
 
S

Seeking-Christ

Guest
#8
#8
It's really hard for me to act friendly at work. I'm always so tired and burned out. But I've always done the best I could. I can't just be friendly to everyone. I used to try... But then I got into trouble over it. My boss told me not to talk to the teachers. And then some teachers started talking to me! So whenever I had an opportunity with someone who showed me that they wanted to be friendly to me, I would capitalize on that. I was open to them, and I bought them things etc. But really at the end of the day, those relationships proved to be pretty shallow, and didn't last.

Churches and Clubs, oh boy! Where do I start? Firstly I don't live in town. I live out in the country. My parents and I have had a long bad history with the local Churches. I could write a whole paragraph about how bad the local Churches are. As far as Clubs, there is only one that I could maybe fit into. And that is a maybe! They are an R/C Airplane club. I actually learned how to fly there. But things changed. My instructor moved away. Several of the other guys I used to know, died.

Back in 1999-2001 I was a member of a local Church. And I actually made some friends there! But that Church got into some financial problems. It seems that since the Pastor didn't want to take the blame for it, he started a rumor that it was somehow our fault. The Church split into pieces, another denomination bought building, and I lost all my Church friends.

I think what happened is, the Church was growing and needed a bigger building. Some group wanted to do a feasibility study, which was more then the Church could afford. Some of the people on the board, decided to put out a fleece. They prayed that if were God's will to invest in adding onto the building, X amount of money will come in by X amount of time. Since that prayer was answered, my Dad shared that He felt they should step out in faith. I think that is what that Pastor used to throw us under the buss, when things didn't go right. After that, we have never been able to find a Church to fit into.

If there was an easy solution to my problem. I wouldn't have asked for prayer.
 
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Seeking-Christ

Guest
#9
#9
I want to rephrase something. "If there was an easy solutions to my problem. I wouldn't have asked for prayer." I think that sounds a little curt. I don't mean to sound like that. I'm thankful that all of you read my post, and I'm thankful for all of your prayers. It's just that I don't ask people to pray for things that I could easily solve myself. :) I just hope that it's in God's will to answer these prayers.
 
JTB

JTB

Well-known member
#10
Aug 31, 2021
2,252
724
113
#10
I've always likened myself to Casper's Ghost. If I hear about something going on and show up, I'm made welcome enough. But when others are scratching their heads wondering who to invite, I just don't exist. When I invite people to something, the most offered reason I ended up doing it alone is by far "oh yeah we forgot!". If people do talk to me, they have no hesitation to lay their world's burden on me. But If I need to talk, they tune out, interrupt, or just walk away. I've been blessed, God has finally taken me to a place where people actually seem to appreciate my presence. I will be praying He bless you so as well!
 
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Seeking-Christ

Guest
#11
#11
Thank you for that prayer, and comment. I get a little emotional, talking about this subject. For as long as I can remember, I have always struggled with friendships. Kids in School, were mean to me. I spent so much of my School years scared of bullies. By the time I graduated High School, I suffered a nervous break down. :(
 
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SamuelMichael

Member
#13
Mar 9, 2022
33
17
8
#13
Talking to teachers should be fine. I cannot see why that wouldn't be acceptable. You're there to do a job and so are they.

You need to think from what is a reasonable perspective. Talking to a teacher is not a crime or wrong.
 
Lori

Lori

Member
#14
Mar 25, 2022
32
16
8
#14
Seeking-Christ said:
I want to rephrase something. "If there was an easy solutions to my problem. I wouldn't have asked for prayer." I think that sounds a little curt. I don't mean to sound like that. I'm thankful that all of you read my post, and I'm thankful for all of your prayers. It's just that I don't ask people to pray for things that I could easily solve myself. :) I just hope that it's in God's will to answer these prayers.
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I know what you mean. At a bible study, I asked for prayer for my general depression as a result of the pandemic lockdowns and my seasonal affective disorder. Suddenly everyone wanted to fix me. "Why don't you volunteer?" or "you can take a pottery class at the park district," or "I've got the name of a good therapist," or "if you get vaccinated, you can get a part time job..."

Honestly, all I really wanted was the prayer, and what I needed would fall into place.
 
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Seeking-Christ

Guest
#15
#15
SamuelMichael said:
Talking to teachers should be fine. I cannot see why that wouldn't be acceptable. You're there to do a job and so are they.

You need to think from what is a reasonable perspective. Talking to a teacher is not a crime or wrong.
Click to expand...
I have always felt that is a very strange way to handle things. But that has been my bosses advice to me. Don't talk to the teachers. It's a really hard piece of advice to uphold. Thankfully there are a few teachers who seem to want me to talk... I'll say "seem" to want me to talk...

Teachers really confuse me. They don't seem to be very open or down to earth. I'm not really sure how to describe it too you. But I think I can tell you how I think things should go.

A custodian and teacher has a really hard time discussing either custodial topics or teacher topics. To me it should be a no brainer for these two individuals to figure out other interests to talk about. What I often find is, I'm the only one who puts in the effort to create a third party topic. I would think that any normal person would decide to chime in with whatever topic they would prefer. But not these teachers. They'll just sorta listen to me, do all the talking... I've tried asking questions, but then I feel like I'm prying. Yes they will often answer the questions. But it always feels a little dangerous. It's a little hard to describe online. Perhaps I'll open another prayer request, about confusion with conversation.
 
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