Confessing a porn addiction

[Sudakar]

Is grace a permission to watch porn?

So again you have started replying in this place? So your problem is not the place but you try to buy time. Ok now...

If Adam and Eve had not chosen the forbidden knowledge of good and evil wouldn't all humans been unclothed before each other & there would have been no necessity to watch porn?

 

[Carry_Your_Name]

So again you have started replying in this place? So your problem is not the place but you try to buy time. Ok now...

If Adam and Eve had not chosen the forbidden knowledge of good and evil wouldn't all humans been unclothed before each other & there would have been no necessity to watch porn?

Maybe, unless you hold the ancient Catholic view which I pointed in the other thread that the original sin is the original sex.

 

[Sudakar]

Maybe, unless you hold the ancient Catholic view which I pointed in the other thread that the original sin is the original sex.

So why do you hold on to the ancient Catholic view & make a huge issue out of pornography?

 

[Carry_Your_Name]

So why do you hold on to the ancient Catholic view & make a huge issue out of pornography?

You have an issue if you dont think porn is an issue.

 

[PennEd]

If you don’t mind me asking how should a man begin to confess this to his wife? I’ve struggled with this sin in the past and for me Holy Spirit revealed and reminded me that this started as early as 13 years old with a curiosity in a underwear and bra Catalog, progressed to being introduced to a Playboy magazine slightly after that, then to a vhs videotape at a classmates house sleepover slightly after that, then to a phone sex line and then the internet age came into play and by then I was fully hooked by my senior year of High School and spiraled out of control from there through College and on into my marriage to 32 when God finally took me out of the sin. I no longer desire it. Period. And it makes my stomach sick even thinking of the things my eyes saw and the messages my mind absorbed. I got really good at concealing and hiding it over the years…. Too good at hiding actually and it left a trail of shame everywhere I’ve went though I couldn’t at the time see why there was this nagging shame and guilt following me through my days day after day. The lust and soul ties haunted me for years though I had no idea that is what was entangling me. when I surrendered to Jesus, I confessed my sin to God and believe I earnestly repented. I’ve been free from the addiction for about 13 months minus one incident that was a mistake and Holy Spirit was very disruptive about convicting me of wrongdoing. But in that conviction he also nudged me to say I also need to own up to my hidden sin that I committed against my wife because It wasn’t simply a sin against God. It was sin against my own body and a sin against my wife at multiple levels from the deception alone and for that I’m ashamed . How does one do this in humility and have the best shot at keeping the marriage intact? I brought this sin pattern into the marriage and hid it for 8 long years. I’m well aware it’s all my fault, no matter how the conversation or consequences turn out. I have no excuses for my sinful behavior. It was wrong and it destroyed any chance I have had with true intimacy with my wife . I feel I’m responsible to shoulder my earthly consequences of this sin no matter what it is. I’ve never had to confess anything major to my wife before beyond a simple apology for being rude and insensitive a couple times. Any advice out there? I was thinking of confessing To her about this in the context of reading a marriage book at the end of the Sexual brokenness and sin chapter so we we will be in context and already in the topic. Will this help or hurt?

You have confessed to the Lord. He has done this:

Micah 7:19

New International Version

19 You will again have compassion on us;
you will tread our sins underfoot
and hurl all our iniquities into the depths of the sea.

So I think it's appropriate for you to Cast it into the sea of forgetfulness.

You shouldn't be feeling guilt about this sin. If you want to tell your wife about your past struggles, fine. But the Lord has forgiven, and freed you. It's possible it's our adversary trying to make you feel guilty.

 

[Sudakar]

You have an issue if you dont think porn is an issue.

If porn is an issue why did God create humans to stay unclothed & without the forbidden knowledge of good and evil?

 

[Carry_Your_Name]

If porn is an issue why did God create humans to stay unclothed & without the forbidden knowledge of good and evil?

I've answered you numerous times before, go see my replies. Maybe you like talking in circles, while I'm not.

 

[tstumf]

If porn is an issue why did God create humans to stay unclothed & without the forbidden knowledge of good and evil?

Because prefall humans had no knowledge of lust or other evil of the wicked heart in the fallen world. Everything in Eden was perfect where the Kingdom of God and the earth were in perfect alignment. . Human hearts were absolutely pure as God had intended. It’s the idea we humans had no shame or embarrassment in us also. “naked and unashamed” plus Eve was created for Adam. They were married in Gods eyes and they were in complete union together and in perfect Union with God. Sins didn’t exist, perverse thoughts didn’t exist and death didn’t exist till Eve took that bite and Adam chose to go passive and follow Eve over being obedient to God. We are a long way from Eden. Maybe when heaven and earth are renewed and the Kingdom is fully here we will be naked and unashamed again.

 

[Carry_Your_Name]

Because prefall humans had no knowledge of lust or other evil of the wicked heart in the fallen world. Everything in Eden was perfect where the Kingdom of God and the earth were in perfect alignment. . Human hearts were absolutely pure as God had intended. It’s the idea we humans had no shame or embarrassment in us also. “naked and unashamed” plus Eve was created for Adam. They were married in Gods eyes and they were in complete union together and in perfect Union with God. Sins didn’t exist, perverse thoughts didn’t exist and death didn’t exist till Eve took that bite and Adam chose to go passive and follow Eve over being obedient to God. We are a long way from Eden. Maybe when heaven and earth are renewed and the Kingdom is fully here we will be naked and unashamed again.

See, I told him before. In the sight of God everyone's naked no matter what you wear or where you hide. When there were only Adam and Eve, there was no need to clothe them, for they were of ONE FLESH and they were both in the plain sight of God. God clothed humans to hide their bodies from each other, not God himself.

 

[tstumf]

See, I told him before. In the sight of God everyone's naked no matter what you wear or where you hide. When there were only Adam and Eve, there was no need to clothe them, for they were of ONE FLESH and they were both in the plain sight of God. God clothed humans to hide their bodies from each other, not God himself.

I’d even add after the fall God was gracious enough to allow them to be clothed before he banished them because he still loved them even in their disobedience.
“The Lord God made garments of skin for Adam and his wife and clothed them. And the Lord God said, “The man has now become like one of us, knowing good and evil. He must not be allowed to reach out his hand and take also from the tree of life and eat, and live forever.””
‭‭Genesis‬ ‭3:21-22‬ ‭NIV‬‬

 

[Sudakar]

Because prefall humans had no knowledge of lust or other evil of the wicked heart in the fallen world. Everything in Eden was perfect where the Kingdom of God and the earth were in perfect alignment. . Human hearts were absolutely pure as God had intended. It’s the idea we humans had no shame or embarrassment in us also. “naked and unashamed” plus Eve was created for Adam. They were married in Gods eyes and they were in complete union together and in perfect Union with God. Sins didn’t exist, perverse thoughts didn’t exist and death didn’t exist till Eve took that bite and Adam chose to go passive and follow Eve over being obedient to God. We are a long way from Eden. Maybe when heaven and earth are renewed and the Kingdom is fully here we will be naked and unashamed again.

Wasn't it the forbidden knowledge of good and evil which led them be ashamed being naked? Are you delivered from the knowledge of good and evil by faith in Christ's sacrifice?

 

[tstumf]

Wasn't it the forbidden knowledge of good and evil which led them be ashamed being naked? Are you delivered from the knowledge of good and evil by faith in Christ's sacrifice?

Christ’s sacrifice was for the ability to be reconciled with God. It gives us sonship with him and a brotherhood with Christ to enter into training as saints for the Kingdom to come . We will not fully be delivered till the second coming or we enter the Kingdom from this life to life eternal in heaven. We are holy priests in training but still are temporarily housed in a fallen world. We live in the in between times where much of things are Not as God intended because of the Sin of the fallen world that is left apart from Christ. We can make much progress in our training but We will not see naked and unashamed literally till he returns

 

[Carry_Your_Name]

Wasn't it the forbidden knowledge of good and evil which led them be ashamed being naked? Are you delivered from the knowledge of good and evil by faith in Christ's sacrifice?

That forbidden fruit by and of itself is not sin, disobedience is. By Christ's sacrifice on the cross we're delivered from SIN, not that forbidden fruit. Once again, Isaiah 5:20.

 

[Sudakar]

I've answered you numerous times before, go see my replies. Maybe you like talking in circles, while I'm not.

So you are seeking to be justified before God by fulfilling the moral law?

 

[Sudakar]

That forbidden fruit by and of itself is not sin, disobedience is. By Christ's sacrifice on the cross we're delivered from SIN, not that forbidden fruit. Once again, Isaiah 5:20.

So how can you be delivered from sin without being delivered from the moral law as it's the moral law which gives life to sin?
Romans7:8:"For without the law sin was dead".

 

[Carry_Your_Name]

So you are seeking to be justified before God by fulfilling the moral law?

Romans 7:7

 

[Sudakar]

Romans 7:7

How can you be delivered from sin without being delivered from the moral law as sin is dead apart from the moral law as per Rom7:8?

 

[XmasBaby]

OP, have you made any progress on this? My initial reaction when I saw your post was, "No! Don't tell her!" because I felt like there was no point hurting her if you were past it. The more I read the thread, though, I saw that scripturally it may be the right thing to do. I think she can understand that you have struggled with this, and she can help you as your wife and life partner. I just think it's important to be delicate about how you tell her in order to hurt her as little as possible. Just right from the very beginning make sure she knows this was in the past, and you're already done with it because you love God and because you love her. Just don't hurt her for the sole purpose of clearing your guilty conscience. Like I wouldn't want to know that you still think about your ex that way. That would only hurt. There's nothing you can do to stop that except redirect your thoughts to something else when you recognize that you're doing that. But the porn is so etching you can actively, purposefully not do. You know what I mean? I just hate when a spouse hurts their spouse with confessions of something long since past that will only hurt. So be careful how you do it. Pray, pray, pray for God's guidance. Pray before you do say whatever you're going to say. Pray with her that you'll have the right words and that she'll have a heart if forgiveness. I'm just sharing my thoughts and feelings here. Don't listen to anything that contradicts what you've seen in scripture or heard from the Lord. God bless.

 

[Sudakar]

OP, have you made any progress on this? My initial reaction when I saw your post was, "No! Don't tell her!" because I felt like there was no point hurting her if you were past it. The more I read the thread, though, I saw that scripturally it may be the right thing to do. I think she can understand that you have struggled with this, and she can help you as your wife and life partner. I just think it's important to be delicate about how you tell her in order to hurt her as little as possible. Just right from the very beginning make sure she knows this was in the past, and you're already done with it because you love God and because you love her. Just don't hurt her for the sole purpose of clearing your guilty conscience. Like I wouldn't want to know that you still think about your ex that way. That would only hurt. There's nothing you can do to stop that except redirect your thoughts to something else when you recognize that you're doing that. But the porn is so etching you can actively, purposefully not do. You know what I mean? I just hate when a spouse hurts their spouse with confessions of something long since past that will only hurt. So be careful how you do it. Pray, pray, pray for God's guidance. Pray before you do say whatever you're going to say. Pray with her that you'll have the right words and that she'll have a heart if forgiveness. I'm just sharing my thoughts and feelings here. Don't listen to anything that contradicts what you've seen in scripture or heard from the Lord. God bless.

Weren't Adam and Eve unclothed & without guilt in God's most holy presence? Is pornography the problem?

 

[CS1]

Dude we’re derailing this thread. Why don’t we respect the OP and focus on porn addiction?

LOL no should focus on porn just saying