Confessing a porn addiction

[CS1]

if she walks in and finds him looking at something, or looks through his phone or computer and finds stuff BEFORE he tells her about it then yeah, she will likely feel betrayed.
It's better he confronts this and tells her BEFORE she finds out another way.
sugar coat it anyway you want to, but I'm sure if you ever found your significant other doing the same you would feel betrayed.

first off it doesn't appear he is doing that. second, we can't base what his situation is on what others may have experienced or felt. You nor I do not know as I said she may already know, as many times women do know because they are not stupid.

 

[tstumf]

if she walks in and finds him looking at something, or looks through his phone or computer and finds stuff BEFORE he tells her about it then yeah, she will likely feel betrayed.
It's better he confronts this and tells her BEFORE she finds out another way.
sugar coat it anyway you want to, but I'm sure if you ever found your significant other doing the same you would feel betrayed.

I’m speaking about this all in the best way and in humility. My computer and smartphone memory is wiped, she wouldn’t find anything. I never downloaded, only viewed active web pages. I cleared all history on them after each viewing. Cleared out the cookies cache everything. The computer is now a brick and is not functional the smartphone has been wiped then rebooted from the cloud and it’s getting replaced here soon. Probably with a dumb- flip phone if I had to guess. it’s been 13 months and a few days since I last actively participated in the sin . My recent mistake was a filthy movie on regular tv and I caught myself lusting after a nude actress. There’s a reason I didn’t get caught and I’m not proud but ashamed to say that. Part of me wishes I could have got caught years ago so it wouldn’t have hung over me like a dark storm cloud for so long. But then again, I wasn’t truly submitted to Christ so would I have just continued on even if I did get caught? Who knows…. but I fully intend to initiate a conversation when I find the proper time and place and as Holy Spirit leads me.

 

[tstumf]

Another thing I found out. I found as I was abstaining from the sin and after I had confessed and repented I noticed Satan would use anything and everything he could to try to get me back into it. It followed me to social media. Instagram had to be deleted and Facebook deleted because I’d get friend requests from lewd women in no way connected to any of my friends or interests. I would get all kinds of weirdness that would show up in unsuspecting places in my life. Co workers would even be openly trading pornographic images at break and talk about very odd lewd sexual behaviors and it got worse and more prevalent the longer I abstained. The spiritual warfare on this stuff is no Joke. Satan must have had his hooks in deep cause too this day the temptations show up out of the blue in very unsuspecting places.

 

[Carry_Your_Name]

I share your struggle. I used to be a porn addict too, with my daily portion. But in recent years the Holy Spirit has truly opened my eyes to see them as the abominations they are. You know, old school playboy and erotica literature at least had some artistic value, and those women from the older generation had a kind of natural beauty, they were stylish and glamorous, and they looked healthy and happy. Then you look at the porn stars in these days, heavy makeup, hair extension, weir tattoos, fake boobs, and vulgar language, it just grosses me out. I actually didn’t wanna leave porn, but porn has left me, glory to God.

 

[Sudakar]

If you don’t mind me asking how should a man begin to confess this to his wife? I’ve struggled with this sin in the past and for me Holy Spirit revealed and reminded me that this started as early as 13 years old with a curiosity in a underwear and bra Catalog, progressed to being introduced to a Playboy magazine slightly after that, then to a vhs videotape at a classmates house sleepover slightly after that, then to a phone sex line and then the internet age came into play and by then I was fully hooked by my senior year of High School and spiraled out of control from there through College and on into my marriage to 32 when God finally took me out of the sin. I no longer desire it. Period. And it makes my stomach sick even thinking of the things my eyes saw and the messages my mind absorbed. I got really good at concealing and hiding it over the years…. Too good at hiding actually and it left a trail of shame everywhere I’ve went though I couldn’t at the time see why there was this nagging shame and guilt following me through my days day after day. The lust and soul ties haunted me for years though I had no idea that is what was entangling me. when I surrendered to Jesus, I confessed my sin to God and believe I earnestly repented. I’ve been free from the addiction for about 13 months minus one incident that was a mistake and Holy Spirit was very disruptive about convicting me of wrongdoing. But in that conviction he also nudged me to say I also need to own up to my hidden sin that I committed against my wife because It wasn’t simply a sin against God. It was sin against my own body and a sin against my wife at multiple levels from the deception alone and for that I’m ashamed . How does one do this in humility and have the best shot at keeping the marriage intact? I brought this sin pattern into the marriage and hid it for 8 long years. I’m well aware it’s all my fault, no matter how the conversation or consequences turn out. I have no excuses for my sinful behavior. It was wrong and it destroyed any chance I have had with true intimacy with my wife . I feel I’m responsible to shoulder my earthly consequences of this sin no matter what it is. I’ve never had to confess anything major to my wife before beyond a simple apology for being rude and insensitive a couple times. Any advice out there? I was thinking of confessing To her about this in the context of reading a marriage book at the end of the Sexual brokenness and sin chapter so we we will be in context and already in the topic. Will this help or hurt?

Were Adam and Eve clothed in God's most holy presence?

 

[Carry_Your_Name]

Were Adam and Eve clothed in God's most holy presence?

That was the original state. There was nothing to hide in God's sight. In 2 Cor. 5:2-4, all disembodied souls from dead people are like naked bodies in God's sight, but to the followers of Christ, a white robe of righteous will be given at the wedding feast of the Lamb. Those who're not clothed in this white robe will be cast out into utter darkness.

 

[Sudakar]

That was the original state. There was nothing to hide in God's sight. In 2 Cor. 5:2-4, all disembodied souls from dead people are like naked bodies in God's sight, but to the followers of Christ, a white robe of righteous will be given at the wedding feast of the Lamb. Those who're not clothed in this white robe will be cast out into utter darkness.

Are you justifying your need for the forbidden knowledge of good & evil?

 

[Carry_Your_Name]

Are you justifying your need for the forbidden knowledge of good & evil?

That knowledge of good and evil itself is never the heart of the problem. That was a TEST. You think God didn't know that Satan was in Eden? He put Adam in there for a TEST, which he failed.

 

[Sudakar]

That knowledge of good and evil itself is never the heart of the problem. That was a TEST. You think God didn't know that Satan was in Eden? He put Adam in there for a TEST, which he failed.

So can you justify yourself before God and humans by fulfilling the moral law?

 

[Carry_Your_Name]

So can you justify yourself before God and humans by fulfilling the moral law?

I've never said that. Nobody could ever fulfill all the laws but Jesus.

 

[Sudakar]

I've never said that. Nobody could ever fulfill all the laws but Jesus.

So are you willing to be delivered from the moral law or the forbidden knowledge of good & evil whichever you carry in your heart?

 

[Carry_Your_Name]

So are you willing to be delivered from the moral law or the forbidden knowledge of good & evil whichever you carry in your heart?

Delivered from SIN, not moral law.

 

[Sudakar]

Delivered from SIN, not moral law.

If it's the moral law which supplies life to sin how can you be delivered from sin without being delivered from the moral law as mentioned in Romans7:9? "For I was alive without the law once: but when the commandment came, sin revived, and I died".

 

[Carry_Your_Name]

If it's the moral law which supplies life to sin how can you be delivered from sin without being delivered from the moral law as mentioned in Romans7:9? "For I was alive without the law once: but when the commandment came, sin revived, and I died".

Who said “moral law supplies life to sin?” Only by moral law do we know sin, this we’re held accountable for our sin. Go read Romans 6:15-23.

 

[Sudakar]

Who said “moral law supplies life to sin?” Only by moral law do we know sin, this we’re held accountable for our sin. Go read Romans 6:15-23.

Romans 7:8 says "For without the law sin was dead". So the moral law which you choose gives life to sin.

 

[Carry_Your_Name]

Romans 7:8 says "For without the law sin was dead". So the moral law which you choose gives life to sin.

Dude we’re derailing this thread. Why don’t we respect the OP and focus on porn addiction?

 

[Sudakar]

Dude we’re derailing this thread. Why don’t we respect the OP and focus on porn addiction?

You who were answering my questions till now, suddenly talk of derailment? So you admit your belief is wrong?

 

[Carry_Your_Name]

You who were answering my questions till now, suddenly talk of derailment? So you admit your belief is wrong?

Belief is not wrong, place is. Go find somewhere else.

 

[Sudakar]

Belief is not wrong, place is. Go find somewhere else.

So why were you answering in this place all along? Remember no deliverance from moral law no deliverance from sin. Don't play with eternal destiny.

 

[Carry_Your_Name]

So why were you answering in this place all along? Remember no deliverance from moral law no deliverance from sin. Don't play with eternal destiny.

Is grace a permission to watch porn?