How/where does one find a Christian wife? (UK)

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Grigor1860

New member
#1
Feb 12, 2022
18
15
3
#1
Hello,

My name is Adam and I’m 21. I have only recently - in the last year or so - developed a yearning for companionship, marriage, fatherhood etc. Hitherto, I was not overly interested in these things, preferring to focus on my own hobbies and interests. I was friends with a number of girls when I was at school, and close friends with a few, but never delved into dating or anything like that.

I have since been looking into the online dating scene, but found that almost every Christian dating app involves some subscription model, as the free services make matching highly improbable. I have been on Christian Dating For Free, but not had much luck there, as most users seem to be inactive. Do any British users have any recommendations for websites/apps? Or activities that are conducive? I should add I haven’t yet joined a church, although I am going to do so soon, to be confirmed in the Church of England.

Adam
 
Lanolin

Lanolin

Well-known member
#2
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
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#2
You dont have to marry in a church if you are not a christian

Im just saying.
 
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Grigor1860

New member
#3
Feb 12, 2022
18
15
3
#3
Lanolin said:
You dont have to marry in a church if you are not a christian

Im just saying.
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I am a Christian, and thus should like my marriage to be sanctified in the presence of God.
 
Lanolin

Lanolin

Well-known member
#4
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,188
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#4
Really? Ok so what is your testimony?
 
Lynx

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
#5
Aug 13, 2014
27,189
9,270
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#5
Howdy Grigor and welcome to the forum. 1860 was a good year. (I wasn't there, but I've heard about it.)

As we are single, we are probably not the best people to ask how to find a spouse... :unsure:

Oh well. Welcome anyway. We hope you enjoy your time on this forum.

For the record, what kind of girl are you looking for... And what keeps you from finding her where you live?
 
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Grigor1860

New member
#7
Feb 12, 2022
18
15
3
#7
Lynx said:
Howdy Grigor and welcome to the forum. 1860 was a good year. (I wasn't there, but I've heard about it.)

As we are single, we are probably not the best people to ask how to find a spouse... :unsure:

Oh well. Welcome anyway. We hope you enjoy your time on this forum.

For the record, what kind of girl are you looking for... And what keeps you from finding her where you live?
Click to expand...
That’s a fair point 😂 I suppose I could phrase it better: theoretically, where might one look?
As to what type of girl, I have found all manner of women attractive. Ordinary traits like kindness and good-humouredness are particularly appealing to me. To what keeps me from finding her, it is that most everyone I come across is an atheist or a different religion. Hence my question here.
 
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Grigor1860

New member
#9
Feb 12, 2022
18
15
3
#9
Lynx said:
Basically she means, "What's your story as a Christian?"

It's probably a bit premature, as you said you don't go to church.
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Sorry for my not knowing. I was christened as an infant, but my family stopped attending church when I was about 7, when my dad becomes an atheist. I’ve returned to faith in about the last month, and have been studying the KJV since. I wanted to gain an understanding of scripture first as a basis before formally rejoining.
 
R

Runningman

Banned
#10
Mar 4, 2020
8,614
3,691
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#10
How/where does one find a Christian wife?
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Just try to care about everyone equally, maybe tend to smile more and chat more with the girls you like the best. Don't give compliments to anyone until you've singled one girl out then give those compliments to her, i.e. "your hair looks nice, your dress looks nice, you are so intelligent" etc because compliments carry more power than just being friendly. So reserve those power plays until you're serious. When you are ready to commit to someone and she seems like she is interested too then just flat out ask her to be your girlfriend and get her phone number.
 
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Grigor1860

New member
#11
Feb 12, 2022
18
15
3
#11
Runningman said:
Just try to care about everyone equally, maybe tend to smile more and chat more with the girls you like the best. Don't give compliments to anyone until you've singled one girl out then give those compliments to her, i.e. "your hair looks nice, your dress looks nice, you are so intelligent" etc because compliments carry more power than just being friendly. So reserve those power plays until you're serious. When you are ready to commit to someone and she seems like she is interested too then just flat out ask her to be your girlfriend and get her phone number.
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Thank you kindly for the tips, which I have taken mental note of, but I meant my question more locationally i.e. how and where in terms of places to go (physically and virtually). Sorry for being unclear.
 
S

SimpleSheep

Guest
#13
#13
I'm thinking church, a bookstore, college or online dating? Maybe you could volunteer and meet new people in that way. I hope it goes well for you, brother!
 
J

Joey1964

Guest
#14
#14
Grigor1860 said:
Hello,

My name is Adam and I’m 21. I have only recently - in the last year or so - developed a yearning for companionship, marriage, fatherhood etc. Hitherto, I was not overly interested in these things, preferring to focus on my own hobbies and interests. I was friends with a number of girls when I was at school, and close friends with a few, but never delved into dating or anything like that.

I have since been looking into the online dating scene, but found that almost every Christian dating app involves some subscription model, as the free services make matching highly improbable. I have been on Christian Dating For Free, but not had much luck there, as most users seem to be inactive. Do any British users have any recommendations for websites/apps? Or activities that are conducive? I should add I haven’t yet joined a church, although I am going to do so soon, to be confirmed in the Church of England.

Adam
Click to expand...
Do not go looking for a wife. Pray and ask Almighty Father in Heaven for the perfect helpmeet for you and He will pave the way for you to meet her, if it is His Will.
 
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Grigor1860

New member
#15
Feb 12, 2022
18
15
3
#15
Lanolin said:
yes, how you became a christian

it will help us find a suitable wife for you.
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To elaborate slightly on my reply to Lynx, since I was about 18 I felt a draw back to faith, that only truly strengthened - forgive me, it is not something I can articulate precisely - at the start of this year. I felt it entirely natural and logical to accept God again, in that period. Following this acceptance, I got a copy of the KJV and the Book of Common Prayer, and have been studying both daily. I have been observing Lent too, for the first time since my childhood.
Does this elucidate anything for you? I apologise if it’s at all incoherent.
 
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Grigor1860

New member
#16
Feb 12, 2022
18
15
3
#16
Joey1964 said:
Do not go looking for a wife. Pray and ask Almighty Father in Heaven for the perfect helpmeet for you and He will pave the way for you to meet her, if it is His Will.
Click to expand...
I shall pray, as you suggest. Thank you.
 
JohnDB

JohnDB

Well-known member
#17
Jan 16, 2021
6,182
2,491
113
#17
Actually...
Online is usually a bad idea. Soo many scammers it's past the point of ridiculousness... same thing with matchmaking services.

But you are young yet. I wouldn't sweat it for a while yet.
But I would look for and see if you can find some Christian singles groups that do some various activities like supper clubs, curry house hopping, or something else like golfing, swimming, snooker, or whatever.

Plenty of fish in the sea. Most of the women your age are actually usually unconcerned about a Christian man.... however as you get older it will become extremely important to them. And instead of searching they will find you...(hunter becomes the prey)

Of course this won't apply to everyone but to enough that the difference will become obvious if you pay attention.

In the meantime...be an active part of your community. Do some charity work. Get to know everyone from the baker to the school teachers. Even the Bobbies need a friend who isn't a fellow police or criminal.

The old addage of "If you want a friend you must first be a friend" holds true. Then your friends will talk about you and talk you up to single women in their life. You don't have to pretend to be someone you aren't...put on airs or anything. Just be you.

The more people you know the more women you will know...

It always works like that.

Because unless you have a thing for delivery people...hiding out at home will only allow you to meet delivery people.
 
Lynx

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
#18
Aug 13, 2014
27,189
9,270
113
#18
JohnDB said:
Because unless you have a thing for delivery people...hiding out at home will only allow you to meet delivery people.
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Yeah and those delivery people never have time for any fun. With modern computer tracking they have to run, run, run. No more stopping for about an hour at a certain house. :cautious:
 
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Grigor1860

New member
#19
Feb 12, 2022
18
15
3
#19
JohnDB said:
Actually...
Online is usually a bad idea. Soo many scammers it's past the point of ridiculousness... same thing with matchmaking services.

But you are young yet. I wouldn't sweat it for a while yet.
But I would look for and see if you can find some Christian singles groups that do some various activities like supper clubs, curry house hopping, or something else like golfing, swimming, snooker, or whatever.

Plenty of fish in the sea. Most of the women your age are actually usually unconcerned about a Christian man.... however as you get older it will become extremely important to them. And instead of searching they will find you...(hunter becomes the prey)

Of course this won't apply to everyone but to enough that the difference will become obvious if you pay attention.

In the meantime...be an active part of your community. Do some charity work. Get to know everyone from the baker to the school teachers. Even the Bobbies need a friend who isn't a fellow police or criminal.

The old addage of "If you want a friend you must first be a friend" holds true. Then your friends will talk about you and talk you up to single women in their life. You don't have to pretend to be someone you aren't...put on airs or anything. Just be you.

The more people you know the more women you will know...

It always works like that.

Because unless you have a thing for delivery people...hiding out at home will only allow you to meet delivery people.
Click to expand...
These are a lot of good tips! It’s just a matter of getting on the social ladder I suppose, as you rightly suggest. From there, hopefully good things will follow, beyond the spiritual fulfilment derived from doing good.
 
Lynx

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
#20
Aug 13, 2014
27,189
9,270
113
#20
Grigor1860 said:
These are a lot of good tips! It’s just a matter of getting on the social ladder I suppose, as you rightly suggest. From there, hopefully good things will follow, beyond the spiritual fulfilment derived from doing good.
Click to expand...
I'm 43 and never have bothered with a relationship.

Quote from a five year old:
"Do I HAVE to fall in love?"
"No."
"Good. I've got stuff to do."

I mean... if you happen to find The One For You, go for it dude! But unless or until that happens, there's a lot of life to live. :cool:
 
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