My husband was supposed to move out of the house today (it was in my phone calendar and reminded me just now). I gave him this deadline after he told me he chose another girl over me and my 2 kids.
How did this happen? I can't really figure out where to start..so I'll just recall the month of April 2017 leading to this day.
I remember we have been fighting over small things..wrong directions...my daughter falling off the bed because I was not looking...saying things in a rude tone of voice. However, we had been doing these things for as long as I can remember so I never thought too seriously about it. A few shouting matches..some wounded feelings..but we always go back to who we always were..husband and wife.
I often get the feeling when something is going wrong. I noticed him preferring to sleep when we are at home..supposedly spending family time with him. He would sneek off to parts of the house where we cannot disturb him on his phone. He scheduled out of the house trips, getting home early morning (latest 2AM which is not new since he prefers to take a nap first before going home). Then I saw this chat with a girl saying "I love you" to him, which replied to "Relax ka lang"... as if telling her to be patient since he is going to do something about me..his wife. I checked out the girl..she is looked as if he would like her..she is 10 years younger than me.
I confronted my husband with this information. He told me that she is(was) the "wife" of his cousin and that they have 2 kids. That is partly true since the cousin already left the girl. It was actually him who is already in a relationship with her for the past month.
One weekend, he was gone for a trip. I was expecting him to show up on his usual time 2AM. I could sleep so I waited past his usual going home time. I haven't slept properly for the past week thinking about what he is doing. This time he did not come home until the sun was up. I walked and waited, watched the cars pass by in a place I should not be at the wee hours of the morning. The sun was about to go up, I went home thinking that this time is different. He no longer cared if people see him going home late in the morning even if he had no business being out this whole time. I was so crushed.
He eventually arrived and I was so angry at him. I asked him to choose between me and his other girl. We shouted, fought and cried. Then he chose HER, he was not even man enough to tell me but showed me his text to HER. That he chooses her because hethinks God gave him HER to finally feel happy and loved. My heart was pounding over my chest. My world is changing so fast. I calmly asked him when he would move out. I think he was not ready with that question from me. What did he think I would do? Let him stay with me and my kids while he is also out going about his perfect little life with his girl?
I was not ready to see him leave..I dont think anybody is going to ready for such things. But that day,I was resolved to start my life without him...at least plan for the rest of my life. I talked to him about how we will share the expenses of the kids, how he plans to see them and be part of their lives...for which I did not get a clear answer from him. I think he was overwhelmed with the changes that his decision to choose the girl entailed. Well, actions tend to have corresponding reactions...which may not always be the one we like but we have to accept. He was not ready to accept the consequences of his actions.
We ended that day without any clear direction..only with the fact that he does not want me anymore. This was now day one of the rest of my life.
Today, a month after and when he was supposed to go..I decide to stop loving and thinking of him. I will now dedicate all my time to my kids and my work. How he wants to be part of our lives is up to him. I will TRY not to expect anuthing from him anymore...my heart can no longer take any more SHIT from him..I know I deserve more than he is giving (or not giving) me.
