How do I find a super shy introvert wife?

Quietmann · Feb 18, 2022

Hi you all singles. I would like to have a wife of my own someday, but I know that I don't want the 'typical' modern wife. It's not my taste at all.

I really dislike the bubbly outgoing sociable flirty selfie-taking with lots of friends type of women. They just make me turned off instantly and intimidate me a lot (yes A LOT). I have the feeling that they are huge gossips, drama queens, bullies, and that they will cheat on me with one of her 'just friends' and make me pay alimony in the courts. The only kind of woman who attracts and makes me feel in power is the super shy reserved introvert loner with no friends or past relationships, who is slow as an Estonian (and of course a devout genuine Christian). These women have a very special charm that other women lack.

So question is where can I find a woman like that? I know they are harder to meet and that patience and God's guidance are extremely important here. And I hope this cute shy wife enters in God's plans for me...

p_rehbein · Feb 18, 2022

So many jokes came into my mind. But I will not go there.

IMO, the type of Lady you appear to seek would most probably be found in a Church Congregation. Good, no, GREAT place to start when looking for a life mate!

Lynx · Feb 18, 2022

Quietmann have you ever met Kauko?

cinder · Feb 18, 2022

Quietmann said:

So the qualities you find most attractive in a woman are that she is dumb and isolated and actively avoids people? That's what I'm hearing and that should set alarm bells off in any woman's head.

But let's give you a chance before we brand you as the latest online reincarnation of Kauko.... when you do meet this introverted dream girl, what will the two of you talk about? What will be your connection points?

Rhomphaeam · Feb 18, 2022

Quietmann said:

My wife of nearly 38 years tells me that when she first saw me she said to herself that she would never marry "that man."

She is a quiet and modest woman and I first came to her attention when I joined a preaching group to go into the city on Good Friday 1987 to preach. We married in July just a few months later. And she didn't even tell me that mysterious fact of her first thought about me until just a few years ago. So, brother whilst you mitigate the onslaught that has already begun - my secret was very simple.

I took a shine to her and then asked her to the pictures to which nervous request she rebuffed me and said she would pray about it. I then prayed and asked the Father if He would give me her hand in marriage. The Father told me to ask her and if she said yes - then I could - then warned me that He would hold me to account for her life. Two weeks later with no response from my beloved I decided to pop the question on one knee at a cricket match where I knew she would be a spectator.

So, brother - the thing is with sisters who are shy and introverted is that the best evidence of their suitability is in fact there complete trust in the Lord - and had I known that at the time I would more than likely have made a complete mess of it. AS it is my wife is often a lot smarter than I am.

Church - Sister - ask God - ask the sister and then spend the rest of your life being accountable to the Lord. Simples.

And apart from that, brother - seriously - do away with the insulting view you have of women.

TheIndianGirl · Feb 18, 2022

Quietmann said:

You have a huge fear/insecurity that any woman besides a "super shy reserved introvert loner with no friends or past relationships, who is slow" is going to cheat on you and rob you. Why is that? I think you need to see a (Christian) counselor about this fear. If a girl is " "super shy reserved introvert loner with no friends or past relationships" she might have some personal issues herself and may lack some skills like interpersonal and communication skills. "Super shy" is basically synonymous with timid, and that is not a good trait for anyone to have.

That said, some people (including women) are shy because of their cultural upbringing not because of personal issues. If you want a super shy girl, you need to target women from certain cultures. I can only think of Asian women (born in Asia) at the moment, but even then, that may have been the case during our parents' generation but not so much now.

seoulsearch · Feb 18, 2022

Quietmann said:

Hi @Quietmann,

Welcome to CC!

Just to catch you up to speed, in the past several months, we have had at least 3 male members under different names, all claiming to be young men, each one saying he was from a different country, all asking the exact same thing you're asking, all wanting the exact same things you want in a young, submissive, introverted wife who was to be kept at home and was not to have contact with others, and all had the exact same extremely derogatory stereotyped outlook that you have about any woman who doesn't fit your ideal.

I'm hoping you are different than the "other 3 young men" (we'll give them the benefit of the doubt and "assume" they were actually separate individual.) Are you open to listening to what your audience members have to say and taking it to heart? We certainly don't know everything about life, but as you can see, there is a lot of wisdom among those who are answering you.

I'm also genuinely hoping this thread won't dissolve into the exact same thing that these other "young men" perpetuated -- they were only interested in attention and going round and round about their own ideas. They had absolutely no regard for anyone else's perspective except their own, and all they wanted was a group of parrots who would repeat everything they wanted to hear back to them.

If you are hoping for a wife, one of the most important things you can do is to get your own life in order so that you have something to offer a future spouse.

What are your current conditions and future plans as far as living arrangements, education, a career, and how you will provide for the young lady you hope to find?

You don't have to give extremely personal details, of course, but one of the first things we asked these other young men was what their life plans were.

As much as we all want to believe that "love will conquer all," the first thing you'll have to do is start looking realistically at the life you have to share with someone.

So... What's the scoop on you?

Kireina · Feb 18, 2022

I know someone who is shy,introvert and just stay at home... she smiles so sweet,she talks gently and when men approach her she will hide....she is a pretty woman...well me...I am the opposite...I left home to work ...after so many years I went home and found out she was no longer that sweet shy girl I knew...she became the opposite...had relationships with 2 or more men... And just a week ago pmed me if I can find her someone because she thinks since I live/work abroad I know a lot of foreign guys...

My parents even compared me to this kind of girl...saying I should act like her... and a neighbor even told me that I could break a man's ********

Well what I want to tell you is...just because she is a shy girl,introvert ,talks so gently she will not cheat on you etc...

“Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.” – Proverbs 31:30

There are bubbly,not shy, not introvert women out there who are God-fearing 😊 Don't miss out on something that could be a great find brother... ☺

May God's will be done in your life especially in finding the right woman to be your wife 😇

kinda · Feb 18, 2022

Quietmann said:

It's very possible and very likely people change over time. What happens if you meet Mrs. Quietmann, she is perfect for marriage, than after 5 years of marriage she changes to Mrs. Talkative-Quietmann?!?!

People change all the time. I heard it once say something like this. Men want woman not to change and woman want men to change. If you want peace and quiet, probably best to stay single. If you want adventure and challenges, get married.

I hear stories that woman in North Carolina are good for marrying, but everyone has their own tastes. I hope for the best in your quest for this super shy, reserved, introvert, and loner dream woman.

TamLynn · Feb 19, 2022

"The only kind of woman who attracts and makes me feel in power is the super shy reserved introvert loner with no friends or past relationships."
🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩

Amanuensis · Feb 19, 2022

Quietmann said:

Prison?

melita916 · Feb 19, 2022

No friends? So she doesn’t fellowship with other believers? As the Bible says we should do?

Lanolin · Feb 19, 2022

I dont get the 'slow as an estonian' part.

TamLynn · Feb 19, 2022

Lanolin said:

Perhaps because in Russia, there are anecdotes about the slowness of Estonians. 🤷‍♀️

Lanolin · Feb 19, 2022

TamLynn said:

as opposed to the fast...Ukrainians?

seoulsearch · Feb 19, 2022

Quietmann said:

It took a little bit of digging, but I found the other threads I had told you about that sound EXACTLY like yours.

@Quietmann, if you are sincere about your inquiry, please take the time to read at least the first couple pages of these threads.

I would also encourage anyone considering spending their precious spare time answering this thread to take a minute and glance over these other threads as a comparison.

May I present:

https://christianchat.com/christian...ere-single-christian-girls-in-finland.200207/

https://christianchat.com/christian...d-christian-girl-from-france-to-marry.199441/

https://christianchat.com/christian-young-adults-forum/will-i-ever-get-a-good-wife-of-christ.201663/

"Members" who presented these threads, in order:

1. Kauko (last seen August, 2021)

2. FrenchandChristian (banned)

3. Zdenek (expressed racist opinions against the Jews -- and was banned)

As I said, @Quietmann, these users asked exactly the same questions as you and had the exact same attitudes about women. If you are truly someone different, take a look at the advice that has already been given multiple times in these other threads.

I will also add your thread to ever-growing list of those that are asking these exact same questions because it seems inevitable that the questions you are asking are going to be asked over and over again by a steady stream of "new members." Every time we see a thread like this, I will try my best to post a list of these threads for other members to consider before answering.

Something else to note is that by the third incarnation of this inquiry, the original poster skipped over acknowledging members who had answered before and only addressed (fed on the attention of) newcomers who had not posted in his before. As I mentioned these "members" simply fed on the attention of anyone they could pull into a circular argument.

Things that make you go "Hmm..."

Rhomphaeam · Feb 19, 2022

seoulsearch said:

It took a little bit of digging, but I found the other threads I had told you about that sound EXACTLY like yours.

@Quietmann, if you are sincere about your inquiry, please take the time to read at least the first couple pages of these threads.

I would also encourage anyone considering spending their precious spare time answering this thread to take a minute and glance over these other threads as a comparison.

May I present:

https://christianchat.com/christian...ere-single-christian-girls-in-finland.200207/

https://christianchat.com/christian...d-christian-girl-from-france-to-marry.199441/

https://christianchat.com/christian-young-adults-forum/will-i-ever-get-a-good-wife-of-christ.201663/

"Members" who presented these threads, in order:

1. Kauko (last seen August, 2021)

2. FrenchandChristian (banned)

3. Zdenek (expressed racist opinions against the Jews -- and was banned)

As I said, @Quietmann, these users asked exactly the same questions as you and had the exact same attitudes about women. If you are truly someone different, take a look at the advice that has already been given multiple times in these other threads.

I will also add your thread to ever-growing list of those that are asking these exact same questions because it seems inevitable that the questions you are asking are going to be asked over and over again by a steady stream of "new members." Every time we see a thread like this, I will try my best to post a list of these threads for other members to consider before answering.

Something else to note is that by the third incarnation of this inquiry, the original poster skipped over acknowledging members who had answered before and only addressed (fed on the attention of) newcomers who had not posted in his before. As I mentioned these "members" simply fed on the attention of anyone they could pull into a circular argument.

Things that make you go "Hmm..."

That bad lad - he needs a thrashing.

BrotherMike · Feb 19, 2022

seoulsearch said:

It took a little bit of digging, but I found the other threads I had told you about that sound EXACTLY like yours.

@Quietmann, if you are sincere about your inquiry, please take the time to read at least the first couple pages of these threads.

I would also encourage anyone considering spending their precious spare time answering this thread to take a minute and glance over these other threads as a comparison.

May I present:

https://christianchat.com/christian...ere-single-christian-girls-in-finland.200207/

https://christianchat.com/christian...d-christian-girl-from-france-to-marry.199441/

https://christianchat.com/christian-young-adults-forum/will-i-ever-get-a-good-wife-of-christ.201663/

"Members" who presented these threads, in order:

1. Kauko (last seen August, 2021)

2. FrenchandChristian (banned)

3. Zdenek (expressed racist opinions against the Jews -- and was banned)

As I said, @Quietmann, these users asked exactly the same questions as you and had the exact same attitudes about women. If you are truly someone different, take a look at the advice that has already been given multiple times in these other threads.

I will also add your thread to ever-growing list of those that are asking these exact same questions because it seems inevitable that the questions you are asking are going to be asked over and over again by a steady stream of "new members." Every time we see a thread like this, I will try my best to post a list of these threads for other members to consider before answering.

Something else to note is that by the third incarnation of this inquiry, the original poster skipped over acknowledging members who had answered before and only addressed (fed on the attention of) newcomers who had not posted in his before. As I mentioned these "members" simply fed on the attention of anyone they could pull into a circular argument.

Things that make you go "Hmm..."

I think Seoul would be an amazing private investigator!

seoulsearch · Feb 19, 2022

Rhomphaeam said:

My hope is to spare anyone else the grief of answering someone who wants no other answer than his own, and will fruitlessly rehash his need for this over countless pages of multiple threads.

seoulsearch · Feb 19, 2022

BrotherMike said:

Lol, thank you Brother Mike, but no.

I'm not here as much as I used to be but I was here when all 3 of these threads were put up, and I don't think anyone could overlook the fact that the premises are identical.

How do I find a super shy introvert wife?

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