Does God choose your spouse or do you with God's guidance?

[JStates]

I believe there is one person who God clearly shows us. There are a lot of good people/Christians who will likely make good spouses. So can any good Christian be a our spouse? That seems to be a low bar. It's like a husband/wife telling their spouse they could have found another good spouse if they didn't meet them. While probably true, I prefer to believe that God will choose someone specially for us and will show a sign.

Finding a "good Christian" is not a low bar, it's a high one.

I am curious if you are from the nation of India? I'm asking because the movies put out by Bollywood are the most irrational and silly I have ever seen when it comes to depicting romance and relationships between men and women. To the point of farcical really. The propaganda built into entertainment is exceedingly dangerous if we let it permeate and control our thinking.

ENTER - to gain ingress
TAIN - to seize or control
MENT - of or pertaining to the mind

 

[2ndTimothyGroup]

How can we claim that we are in control of our lives and then turn around and quote the below Scripture. Oh wait, who quotes the below Scripture?

Romans 8:9 NLT - "But you are not controlled by your sinful nature. You are controlled by the Spirit if you have the Spirit of God living in you. (And remember that those who do not have the Spirit of Christ living in them do not belong to him at all.)"

If we don't feel like the Holy Spirit is controlling our lives . . . you know what that means? It means the Spirit hasn't Indwelt you.

We'd better wake up and get's things together immediately if not sooner. And, I'd memorize Colossians 2:9-15 pronto.

 

[Roughsoul1991]

Welcome to the heavenly dating game show where God chooses your spouse.

First up!

Adam!

Welcome, Adam; I (God) will provide a day of a luxurious holistic get away with the best fruit in the world except for one tree. I will also, by the way, take one of your ribs and provide you with a woman. Eve will be deceived, and after taking the fruit of the one tree you shouldn't eat from, you will be the cause of death, sin, disease, and the fallen nature of the world.

Next in line,

Hosea!

Welcome, Hosea. I God will provide you with a woman who has been with many men, just not the best man.

She has been around the block and is ready to settle down with just the right man!

Next up!

Joseph!

Welcome, Joseph! I God will provide a young, beautiful woman, and by the way, will bear My Son through the Holy Spirit, and she will still be a virgin. People will also think she cheated on you but do not reject her.

So until next time, pray often, pray hard, for God will provide the women of your dreams.

Sponsors:

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[presidente]

During the Biblical times, being a virgin was synonymous with being unmarried and specifically refers to an unmarried woman.

In the Old Testament, a virgin was a virgin, not just an unmarried woman. A priest was not allowed to marry a foreigner, a defiled woman, or a widow (unless she were a priest's widow). Outside of his own tribe, he could only marry a virgin.

If an unmarried woman were married off and found not to be a virgin, she could be stoned for it.

I do not believe the term virgin was applied to men. So, a woman would wear garments for virgins to show other suitors she is available; otherwise there is no way to know and men may mistaken married women as potential wives. Before, there was a logical explanation for the different clothes.

Tamar apparently did not see it that way. She had been raped by her own brother. She had not been given to him in marriage. So she was not a virgin anymore. She took off the garments for the virgin daughters of the king.

Nowadays, there are far less virgins and being unmarried has less correlation to virginity status. Publicly identifying as a virgin would bring out guys who have insincere goals, creeps, etc. so it is better to keep this information private.

In our cultures, I would imagine it would be uncomfortable to announce sexual information like that, for most people. In my country, it seems like a lot of creeps think there is something wrong with virgins. Some single men who are evangelical Christians, conservative Roman Catholics or people from ethnic minorities prefer virgin wives.

The other issue is, being a young virgin would be considered understandable, but people may have some negative views or make some assumptions on "old" virgins. While this is nothing to be ashamed of, there is no need to publicly put forth this information.

Depending on the age of the person, I believe it is best to assume the person is not a virgin and not discuss sexual history (or better, relationship history) right away, but rather first learn if the person is compatible in other ways (values, personality, goals, etc.).

I would not have done what the man did in my example. I thought the question was clever, but to ask that, even as a joke, if he wasn't even dating her, was a bit intrusive.

Some of these private things should be discussed before a marriage proposal. If one is looking for a spouse and issues like this, along with the desire to have children, ideas about marital roles, where the other person is willing to live, etc. are deal-breakers, it is better to get them out earlier in the relationship. It saves people from wasting valuable spouse-finding time in a relationship that will go nowhere. And if you date for too long a long time before discussing them, then you can end up breaking hearts.

 

[presidente]

On a serious note, I think that "we" talk from both corners of our mouths when we say, "God has a plan for my life" and then turn right around and say, "But I choose . . ." (fill in the blank).

We can't say that God has a Plan for our lives but then say that we have our own independent plan.

If God has a Will and we have a will . . . who's will out-wins the other? Does God get what He wants, or do we get what we want?

'God has a plan for my life' comes from a Campus Crusade tract? There is a verse about God having plans for 'you', plural.

Does saying, 'God has a plan for your life' really give us Biblical direction on whether we make decisions and He is arranging stuff behind the scenes, or whether He gives us direction?

I believe God does both, give specific, individualized direction at times, and let us make decisions as we honor Him in all we do and pray for wisdom and make decisions, trusting Him to work things out. We also have freedom to make decision within parameters he has laid down. God gives man herbs to eat. Man can eat grain or fruit for breakfast, cornflakes or cheerios. God tells Paul to preach to the Gentiles, and he can go preach here or there, but if the Spirit forbids him from going to a place or directs to go to another, then he should follow that.

 

[2ndTimothyGroup]

'God has a plan for my life' comes from a Campus Crusade tract?

I have no idea. I would say, however, that considering that a person can walk into any church in the world and hear people acknowledge that God has a plan for their life, this is a rational and reasonable deduction of God's Holy Word. The real question that should be asked is, "Which of the following do I relate with? Am I controlled by the Sinful Nature or by the Spirit? And if I don't relate to my life being controlled by the Spirit, then I cannot belong to Christ AT ALL."

Romans 8:9 NLT - "But you are not controlled by your sinful nature. You are controlled by the Spirit if you have the Spirit of God living in you. (And remember that those who do not have the Spirit of Christ living in them do not belong to him at all.)"

Does saying, 'God has a plan for your life' really give us Biblical direction on whether we make decisions and He is arranging stuff behind the scenes, or whether He gives us direction?

Presidente . . . tell us if you feel like God is controlling your thoughts and decisions? Are you running your life or is the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit dictating? Remember, if you don't identify with a "controlling" Spirit in your life, then it means that you do not belong to Christ "at all."

trusting Him to work things out.

Well, so above, you acknowledge that God is in control, working things out.

I don't know about you all, but I am NOT in control over my life. My life is not the way that I would like it to be. I have suffered beyond imagination. I have been blamed and accused of things that are plainly opposite. I have been hated in this world for doing good things for others. Loving people has been a total burden. Giving money to people has not been recognized by authorities while under accusations of stealing. Attempting to create a Christian non-profit organization has gone unrecognized by the government, thus persecuted for being said in court documents that I "channel the Lord" or that I am a "master of chaos." I do not channel the Lord nor am I a master of chaos. Instead, I have been the victim of the government's sense of chaotic manufacturing and overall cluster-nightmare!

The LAST thing I would ever claim is to be in control over my life. God has led me down a path that only he could create, for the evens of my life are utterly impossible unless He were in control.

Do we not understand the Holy Word, Endure? Or do all of the peaceful Christians of the world just think that there are some Christians that are simply unlucky? Do we really think that the Christian life is about hummingbirds, butterflies and rose pedals? Scripture is clear that those who live pain-free, wantan lives . . . these people do not have the Lord as their Father. But those who are of the poor and the oppressed, they are the ones that God loves. But again, do we simply tell ourselves that some Christians are unlucky to be poor and oppressed while we live our Jimmy Swaggart and Kenneth Copeland lives?

Lastly, those who do not belong to God are NOT receiving His Holy Discipline. And those who receive the Lord's Holy Discipline . . . well, they're suffering. So if "you" aren't being Disciplined by the Lord; if "you" are not "Enduring" suffering and false persecution, then perhaps you're right . . . you are not being controlled by the Spirit. But if that's True, then "you" do not belong to Christ "at all."

 

[1ofthem]

How can we claim that we are in control of our lives and then turn around and quote the below Scripture. Oh wait, who quotes the below Scripture?

Romans 8:9 NLT - "But you are not controlled by your sinful nature. You are controlled by the Spirit if you have the Spirit of God living in you. (And remember that those who do not have the Spirit of Christ living in them do not belong to him at all.)"

If we don't feel like the Holy Spirit is controlling our lives . . . you know what that means? It means the Spirit hasn't Indwelt you.

We'd better wake up and get's things together immediately if not sooner. And, I'd memorize Colossians 2:9-15 pronto.

We should probably take this somewhere else.

But briefly though.... since the beginning God has always given men choice.

God gave a commandment to Adam and set forth the penalty if he chose to disobey.

Yes, we should all walk in the Spirit, but we can also get in the flesh. When we do get in the flesh then we are chastised for it and will suffer.

Jonah like many others disobeyed God. Jonah was chastised. The whale wasn't a pleasure cruise. Surely Jonah was praying Lord forgive me please and I'll do exactly what you say. So, when the whale spit him out, he ran to Nineveh to obey the Lord. Soon after though he seemed to forget the lesson and God had to chastise him again.

So, what is our part in this? Seek the Lord, pray, study his Word, and get and stay close enough to him that we are always willing to put him first and seek and obey his will for our lives. Walking in the Spirit with him and not in the flesh. If not, we will be chastised if we are indeed his children. We know that those he loves, he chastises.

 

[Lanolin]

No. Rebecca wasn't kidnapped , she agreed to go. In fact, her father and brother wanted her to stay 10 days and when Eliezer argued with them, they said they'd bring Rebecca out and ask her what she wanted to do. She came out and said she would go. Genesis 24:58

She probably recognized a good thing when she saw it. A wealthy man wanting to marry her? Who wouldn't accept such an offer in that time era and culture? She'd be set for life!

I said pretty much kidnapped (as she was so young)

 

[Lanolin]

In the OT parents set up both bride and groom or else the man negotiated the marriage with the father except for widows like Abigail.

There is no mention of two people standing before a priest or elder to make vows. That seems to have been a later modification of a Roman preChistian wedding ceremony. Boaz did call in elders of the city as witnesses to his redeeming a deceased relative's estate.

Rachel consented to her wedding. Jewish tradition requires bridal consent, possibly based on examples like this. It would be tough for both bride and groom otherwise.

Marrying your parents' choice might not seem horrific if everyone did it, if people did not grow up watching movies and TV sows against the idea abd romances, and if all you had to go on for looks were 500 cousins in your village instead of images of the most beautiful faces in the world on TV, film, magazines, and the Internet.

ha nobody is THAT keen to marry a tv star or magazine cover model...your private life would be splashed on the pages, the tv and online all the time by the nauseating couple taking selfies and inviting reporters into their home filming their lifestyle for cash. Harry and Meghan anyone.

be realistic!

 

[Lanolin]

I have no idea. I would say, however, that considering that a person can walk into any church in the world and hear people acknowledge that God has a plan for their life, this is a rational and reasonable deduction of God's Holy Word. The real question that should be asked is, "Which of the following do I relate with? Am I controlled by the Sinful Nature or by the Spirit? And if I don't relate to my life being controlled by the Spirit, then I cannot belong to Christ AT ALL."

Romans 8:9 NLT - "But you are not controlled by your sinful nature. You are controlled by the Spirit if you have the Spirit of God living in you. (And remember that those who do not have the Spirit of Christ living in them do not belong to him at all.)"



Presidente . . . tell us if you feel like God is controlling your thoughts and decisions? Are you running your life or is the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit dictating? Remember, if you don't identify with a "controlling" Spirit in your life, then it means that you do not belong to Christ "at all."



Well, so above, you acknowledge that God is in control, working things out.

I don't know about you all, but I am NOT in control over my life. My life is not the way that I would like it to be. I have suffered beyond imagination. I have been blamed and accused of things that are plainly opposite. I have been hated in this world for doing good things for others. Loving people has been a total burden. Giving money to people has not been recognized by authorities while under accusations of stealing. Attempting to create a Christian non-profit organization has gone unrecognized by the government, thus persecuted for being said in court documents that I "channel the Lord" or that I am a "master of chaos." I do not channel the Lord nor am I a master of chaos. Instead, I have been the victim of the government's sense of chaotic manufacturing and overall cluster-nightmare!

The LAST thing I would ever claim is to be in control over my life. God has led me down a path that only he could create, for the evens of my life are utterly impossible unless He were in control.

Do we not understand the Holy Word, Endure? Or do all of the peaceful Christians of the world just think that there are some Christians that are simply unlucky? Do we really think that the Christian life is about hummingbirds, butterflies and rose pedals? Scripture is clear that those who live pain-free, wantan lives . . . these people do not have the Lord as their Father. But those who are of the poor and the oppressed, they are the ones that God loves. But again, do we simply tell ourselves that some Christians are unlucky to be poor and oppressed while we live our Jimmy Swaggart and Kenneth Copeland lives?

Lastly, those who do not belong to God are NOT receiving His Holy Discipline. And those who receive the Lord's Holy Discipline . . . well, they're suffering. So if "you" aren't being Disciplined by the Lord; if "you" are not "Enduring" suffering and false persecution, then perhaps you're right . . . you are not being controlled by the Spirit. But if that's True, then "you" do not belong to Christ "at all."

hmm I think in marriage many people DO suffer especially the wives being long suffering, many get no recongnition or thanks or even pay for what they do...often its a thankless task being a wife. If your husband, normally kind and loving, one day comes home drunk and out of it, or suddendly dies then you have another thing to deal with altogether

 

[Lanolin]

the other thing is having children isnt a piece of cake and often the road is hard and long. sometimes there are medical issues that require endurance like you cant just kill your child if she or he isnt perfect although many parents try to do this or drive them away by only favouring one child above the other.

But even NOT having children is problematic because so many do the IVF thing where they will pay thousands of dollars for the CHANCE of having a baby together.

 

[2ndTimothyGroup]

We should probably take this somewhere else.

Ok.

 

[Lanolin]

I think 'the plan' for life as lot of churches claim wont always fit with peoples romantic notions.

Actually the plan is salvation and heavenly reward. It isnt like a retirement plan or wedding plans. Although some people just assume it is so lol.

I personally would like a FREE dental plan that would be great but that isnt neccessarily Gods plan for me. (apparently only children under 18 are ever going to get free dental plans)

 

[2ndTimothyGroup]

hmm I think in marriage many people DO suffer especially the wives being long suffering

Exactly. My former wife actually beat me and taught her children, my step-children, that it was allowed and not considered violence because I was such a big person and that it couldn't hurt me. So . . . who was in control? Was I in control of my marriage? Was my wife in control of her marriage with me? I know for a fact that I [wasn't] in control, for if I were, things would have turned out much, much differently. My service to her was incredible. My service to her children was incredible.

The Lord is silently in control while we are not. Moreover, I would conclude that God allowed my marriage so that I would grow, learn, and mature. I would say that my marriage existed so that the Lord's Discipline would become manifest. I know for certain, that if I did not suffer, I would have never learned; I would have never grown.

Think of Kenneth Copeland. Is he suffering? Is he telling the Truth about the Gospel of Christ? But what would happen to his teachings if the Lord led him down a life and path of say, the Apostle Paul? Would Kenneth's message change? Oh my, yes.

Ultimately, we should be identifying with suffering. If we're not suffering, we're not living Godly lives and thus we do not belong to Christ at all.

2 Timothy 3:12 NLT - "Yes, and everyone who wants to live a godly life in Christ Jesus will suffer persecution."

Romans 8:9 NLT - "But you are not controlled by your sinful nature. You are controlled by the Spirit if you have the Spirit of God living in you. (And remember that those who do not have the Spirit of Christ living in them do not belong to him at all.)

 

[Lanolin]

Exactly. My former wife actually beat me and taught her children, my step-children, that it was allowed and not considered violence because I was such a big person and that it couldn't hurt me. So . . . who was in control? Was I in control of my marriage? Was my wife in control of her marriage with me? I know for a fact that I [wasn't] in control, for if I were, things would have turned out much, much differently. My service to her was incredible. My service to her children was incredible.

The Lord is silently in control while we are not. Moreover, I would conclude that God allowed my marriage so that I would grow, learn, and mature. I would say that my marriage existed so that the Lord's Discipline would become manifest. I know for certain, that if I did not suffer, I would have never learned; I would have never grown.

Think of Kenneth Copeland. Is he suffering? Is he telling the Truth about the Gospel of Christ? But what would happen to his teachings if the Lord led him down a life and path of say, the Apostle Paul? Would Kenneth's message change? Oh my, yes.

Ultimately, we should be identifying with suffering. If we're not suffering, we're not living Godly lives and thus we do not belong to Christ at all.

2 Timothy 3:12 NLT - "Yes, and everyone who wants to live a godly life in Christ Jesus will suffer persecution."

Romans 8:9 NLT - "But you are not controlled by your sinful nature. You are controlled by the Spirit if you have the Spirit of God living in you. (And remember that those who do not have the Spirit of Christ living in them do not belong to him at all.)

aw sorry to hear that

I dont know kenneth copeland personally so cant say for sure if he ever suffers or not.
I am sure rich people have their problems too. To most people that might be a nice problem to have eg 'what do I do with all my money??' lol

But from what I know rich people can suffer as well from things like spousal abuse, betrayal, children dying, health problems etc that all the money in the world cannot fix

 

[Lanolin]

christian suffering

Jesus said to suffer the little children...and for sure when you look after little children its EXHAUSTING
this is why rich people pay for nannies...!

 

[2ndTimothyGroup]

aw sorry to hear that

lol - Thanks. I [let] her beat on me. I don't want anyone to think that I feel like I was a victim.

 

[TheIndianGirl]

hmm I think in marriage many people DO suffer especially the wives being long suffering, many get no recongnition or thanks or even pay for what they do...often its a thankless task being a wife. If your husband, normally kind and loving, one day comes home drunk and out of it, or suddendly dies then you have another thing to deal with altogether

I believe the husbands are thankful but they take the wives for granted; a lot of husbands cannot survive without the wife. However, they won't realize this until they have been apart from the wife. They wouldn't eat healthy meals, will wear dirty clothes, keep the home untidy, etc. However, a man who has always been single or has been single for awhile may be more self-sufficient. I know an older man (early 60s) who recently married a woman in her early 40s from another country and they had a child. However, he was clear that the wife should do most of the work including raising the baby simply because he was older (he has wanted a child for awhile though). His belief is that she should do most of the work because she is younger, even though he is retired. I am not sure if the wife works. So in his case, not sure how thankful he would be.

 

[Lanolin]

Just make sure you pay them well if you are rich cos they are doing a job parents ought to be doing but for some reason cant.

This is why many children identify with the hands on love and care their nannies gave them over their mothers and fathers (too busy doing OTHER things I suppose)

 

[2ndTimothyGroup]

His belief is that she should do most of the work because she is younger

That is just whacked. I loved serving the women of my past . . . it gave me a sense of dignity and healthy pride. Taking care of others it what makes a True Christian feel that they are in a Right Relationship with the Lord. For, if Christ can be captured, tortured and murdered by His own measely creations, certainly, men could at least repay the Lord for what He has done for us.

Matthew 25:40 NLT - "And the King will say, 'I tell you the truth, when you did it to one of the least of these my brothers and sisters, you were doing it to me!'