Goosebumps. I couldn't have written your words any better. Years ago, after my Damascus-Road-like experience, I realized that I needed to abandon everything any human being ever taught me, and decided to not only read the Bible but collect and organize Scripture in an Excel spreadsheet. I felt the Power of God in such a way, that if I had felt more, and at minimum, my physical body would have been altered . . . melted flesh in the very least, up to and including death. This Powerful Peace and Love was so astonishing that I realized I had absolutely no clue as to the real depth of the Bible. And although I considered myself to be a "master" of certain Biblical concepts . . . I was completely stupid and ignorant about them. I had no True understanding of why I believed what I believed and what I believed. Yes, I could have explained to you what I believed and why . . . but my answers were always about as deep and cloudy as a mud puddle. However, I didn't realize that my beliefs were shallow and cloudy.
I have scoured the entire Bible, literally highlighting not only each word but each piece of punctuation. I used 7 or 8 different colored highlighters so that I could separate each thought and idea. Some verses would have perhaps 6 or 7 different colors. I did my absolute best to not move on to the next thought or concept until I felt that I had a good understanding of what I was reading. 1,490 pages of highlighted bible. It was an amazing experience . . . and to open that Bible and see the beautiful colors that it holds . . . it is an amazing thing to look at.
Why did I do these things? Because my heart was open to the Truth and closed to my old belief system. I will never close the door to Understanding, Knowledge, and Wisdom. For, I am a mere human being and realize that there are no two people that have the exact same set of beliefs regarding the Bible. I now realize that I will never meet anyone that I agree with perfectly. And more, it is ridiculous to think that I ever will. Again, we are only human beings. And even though a small handful of us are actually being taught and led by the Spirit, we still are just human beings . . . and possess errors. To this day, I continue to learn of Biblical principles, and that means that I occasionally change my views and opinions. Yes, it is rare that my views change, but that is because of thousands of hours of collecting and organizing Scripture into an Excel spreadsheet where I not only paste the Scripture itself, but offer up my meager commentary so that I can log my thoughts. It is by logging my thoughts that I am 1) able to remember them, but 2) realize any potential errors and thus fix them.
There is nothing more important to me than I have a proper, balanced understanding of God's Holy Word. For, to be without understanding means that we live within a Biblical fairytale, and that is a most dangerous place to be (as it may very well be an indicator of a hellish destination). Again, having felt the Raw, Almighty Power of God, this has caused me to TOTALLY wake up and realize that I must know Him the way HE desires that we would know HIM. Therefore, I don't want to be right, I want to GET THINGS RIGHT. I want to know not the things that make me right according to my own ideas, but I want to get things right so that when I stand before the Lord . . . he will look at me and say . . .
Matthew 25:21 NLT - "The master was full of praise. 'Well done, my good and faithful servant. You have been faithful in handling this small amount, so now I will give you many more responsibilities. Let's celebrate together!"