“I have had enough, Lord!”

Roughsoul1991 · Dec 16, 2021

Sigh... The struggle to be okay for your job, your family, and others is exhausting when the physical pain feels as if it may consume me like I'm drowning and only gasping for air. Mentally and physically, I'm tired this morning. Rest only increases pain while over straining also. Doctors say I'm healthy, and the blood work returned ok, the x rays show nothing, the MRI nothing. Is this the thorn I must suffer? A decade of prayer only met with my grace is sufficient. But instead of Paul, I feel like Elijah, who once cried out saying, “I have had enough, Lord!”

He was so distraught that he even wanted to die. Death is not my choice, and God decides when my time on Earth is done.

Death may end the pain but the pain to purposefully stop using my spiritual gifts to build up the kingdom is worse to bear.

Although worse to bear, I am here feeling as if a boulder is on my chest with the strain of voice saying I have had enough of pain but not of life.

Unfortunately, to have lived there will be pain. I suppose one day, the pain will outweigh the wanting to remain in the body, and this helps us transition to life eternal.

Without pain, I suppose we would feel too content with this world; we may not even seek God, we may not even wrestle with the idea of life after death, or is their only death afterlife. We may never know what joy is in less we have something to measure against it. Pain like a flipped hourglass is a constant reminder of the mission and time granted to finish it.

I have experienced the joy amid sorrow but as I type this, the joy has yet to surface. Please pray for me.

Mofastus · Dec 16, 2021

Psalms 34:18 The LORD is nigh unto them that are of a broken heart; and saveth such as be of a contrite spirit.

Psalms 51:17 The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit: a broken and a contrite heart, O God, thou wilt not despise.

2 Corinthians 12:9 And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.

2 Corinthians 12:10 Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ's sake: for when I am weak, then am I strong.

Philippians 4:12 I know both how to be abased, and I know how to abound: every where and in all things I am instructed both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need.

Philippians 4:13 I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.

Isaiah 52:14 As many were astonied at thee; his visage was so marred more than any man, and his form more than the sons of men:

Isaiah 53:3 He is despised and rejected of men; a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief: and we hid as it were our faces from him; he was despised, and we esteemed him not.

Isaiah 53:4 Surely he hath borne our griefs, and carried our sorrows: yet we did esteem him stricken, smitten of God, and afflicted.

Philippians 1:29 For unto you it is given in the behalf of Christ, not only to believe on him, but also to suffer for his sake;

1 Timothy 2:8 I will therefore that men pray every where, lifting up holy hands, without wrath and doubting.

John 8:32 And ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.

tourist · Dec 16, 2021

I have had my fill of pain also and depression as well and it saddens me to see those that suffer. I will most certainly pray for you brother.

Mofastus · Dec 16, 2021

To clarify: the scriptures are what was on my thoughts as I read your OP and request. I guess I could've also put up those in the Elijah account you mentioned, and you're right he was in anguish, but remember also God fed him and then lifted him up. As believers, we will go through tribulations, remembering His tribulations for us gives us strength to move on to His things, as well as His victories He makes us partakers of, especially His peace in the storms of our own lives. So those scriptures are the prayer I pray for your life. May God make His face to shine upon you and give you peace in all things. Thank you Jesus !!!

Roughsoul1991 · Dec 16, 2021

tourist said:

Mofastus said:

Thank y'all. I will meditate on what was said.

Mofastus · Dec 16, 2021

Roughsoul1991 said:

It's all about Jesus \0/

Oblio · Dec 16, 2021

Roughsoul 1991...we've talked briefly a few times...though I don't think I realized that you were in the same boat as me. I could've written the OP myself. All I can say is that you're not alone.
Rejoice in the midst of your suffering...His strength is made perfect in your weakness...His grace is sufficient...I know you have these memorized, but like me, there are times when you need someone else to tell you them.
If you're anything like me, and I know you are also into music, your suffering has something to do with your calling. I'd say that your life is about more than just you. If you don't yet know, in His time He will tell you. Remember, He is faithful.
I experienced a physical miracle once that defied the laws of physics. He could heal me. He's very real to me. I know I'm totally accepted by Him through Jesus. He loves me more than anyone has ever loved me. He's faithful to me. And yet He allows me to suffer. Not being understood is part of the suffering.
It's been almost 22 years since I've enjoyed life...without His Spirit enabling it. He's become my sole refuge. I once had a life...now He's all I have...I wouldn't go back. "I am on the road...to my home...in the New Jerusalem! And when I get there, there will be no more death, no more mourning, no more crying...or pain! Hallelujah!" tc
It's been awhile since I asked the Lord to stop my heart...or why after the doctors couldn't start it again, He did.

Roughsoul1991 · Dec 16, 2021

Oblio said:

Thank you

It is true, I know the Words but sometimes the positive emotion are disconnected when I feel exhausted and weak.

I believe it has something to do when God's Word is spoken. We can read it or say it out loud but it is different when people speak it and reaffirm the Word

I'm never quite sure of what I am called to other than the general call we all have as Christians. God sent me a message through a pastor who moved here from Germany. Spiritually he knew of my prayers and told me he was sent to lay hands on me to prepare me for what was to come.

Later on I was hit hard by a sermon that spoke on suffering and losing everything for Christ. I took a prayer walk and was answered that this was going to take place in my life and to remind me everything is within God's timing.

I had began to teach in the church and be involved in ministry but then that stopped due to my oldest teen we have guardianship of got in hot water with a church leader in the youth group. I investigated and my discernment felt he was innocent of most of the claims against him. So I took a stand to defend him. It was my church of 15 years and after my defense, I felt I needed to protect him and find a different church. My pastor at least took me aside and said he was moved as He felt Christ in me. It was rough as the other leader accused me of church division. I could only get out 75% of my defense before choking up and my wife read the rest of the paper.

I may not of lost everything but I have lost a church home, lost financial security, lost direction and in this season I feel distant from God, wondering in this wilderness waiting on the promises of God.

I feel you here

It is sad to admit as my wife, kids, family bring slight slivers of happiness but for a long time I also feel cold to life, it is rare If I laugh or cry. But honestly it is only when I am close to God or I feel I am fulfilling my purpose do I feel alive.

Amen!!

Runningman · Dec 16, 2021

Roughsoul1991 said:

I don’t know what you’re going through, but someone once said to me recently “Maybe your problems aren’t as bad as you think they are.” It made me realize that many of my perceived problems are problems are perception.

Meanwhile, I observe non-Christians live charmed lives where they seem to get everything they need and want. I work and struggle for everything, often silently, while no one apparently cares. I’m not complaining, but the reality is that we aren’t guaranteed an easy life.

My experience is that God is a firm Father and our physical and mental comfort isn’t as important to Him as we would like to think. What’s more important, it seems, is our spiritual status as Christians and our obedience. Our flesh will revolt and wage war against God’s commands until we train it into submission and we’ll never find peace until we accept we have become slaves to righteousness and live accordingly.

Oblio · Dec 16, 2021

Roughsoul1991 said:

Perhaps this may encourage your practicing. I don't think I've told you this.
After not having a guitar for about a year, I got one in the fall of '94. In January, '95, I was a guitar player. I seldom played in front of people as I shook like a leaf and found it very unpleasant. I had no interest in singing or writing. I played alone for the most part.
I was part of a church plant that had just began meeting once a week in a home. The need for a worship leader arose. One night while home alone, I put on a new worship C.D. called, "Winds Of Worship 2."
During a songs called, "Arms Of Love," a woman started singing prophetically. All of a sudden, it was like she was singing to me. And then I became aware of God's presence and a strong odor of flowers. It was so real that I thought, "Someone must be in the house!"
No one but me should've been in the house! I was sure there was an intruder. I looked in every room but found no one. I checked every door and window but they were all locked. I went to bed.
The next morning I picked up my guitar and as I started playing, "Light The Fire Again," the room filled with God's presence, like the night before, but this time without the flower smell. I would later come to understand that when I'd smelled the flowers, God was anointing me to lead worship.
During January of the next year, we had our first regular Sunday morning service. I was leading a worship team, singing, including a song that I wrote! I was having the time of my life! I was amazed at what God did with me in a year!
A young woman who played bass with my team and sang back-up for me during the period I just mentioned recorded this song a few months after I left the Vineyard. It's like it was recorded for me today. I hope it helps you, as it does me.

levi85 · Dec 16, 2021

Lord we lay this prayer request before you, please bless Roughsoul1991, and this prayer request and you be glorified, in Jesus precious name, Amen!

Oblio · Dec 16, 2021

Hope your family's doing good, Levi85!

levi85 · Dec 16, 2021

Oblio said:

Dad is in lot of pain due to prostate, doctor had told for surgery, he is lying on bed. There is sickness and other problems due to illness and treatment you can keep in prayers God will bless in these difficult days

Oblio · Dec 17, 2021

levi85 said:

I hope he has the right medication. Definitely praying for him.

levi85 · Dec 17, 2021

Oblio said:

Yes, Thanks!!

crmvet · Dec 17, 2021

Isaiah 53:5

pottersclay · Dec 19, 2021

Have you gone before the elders of your church? I was healed of cancer stage 3 by doing this.
I have learned that obedience to the Lord is also to submit and do what the word says.
My prayers and thoughts will be toward you and yours for healing and strength.
I too suffer from chronic pain and find myself incapacitated and depressed at times way to often to count. I know what struggles and thoughts can accompany this condition. Never let yourself go to that dark place saint.
I will continue to battle and plea for me as well as for you and anyone that suffers from these afflictions.
If they be physical or spiritual God only knows....but yea he knows.

Potter.

Pureness · Dec 19, 2021

pottersclay said:

Have you gone before the elders of your church? I was healed of cancer stage 3 by doing this.
I have learned that obedience to the Lord is also to submit and do what the word says.
My prayers and thoughts will be toward you and yours for healing and strength.
I too suffer from chronic pain and find myself incapacitated and depressed at times way to often to count. I know what struggles and thoughts can accompany this condition. Never let yourself go to that dark place saint.
I will continue to battle and plea for me as well as for you and anyone that suffers from these afflictions.
If they be physical or spiritual God only knows....but yea he knows.

Potter.

You were healed of cancer by going in front of your elders at church?

AdaKelKen · Dec 19, 2021

Roughsoul1991 said:

Lord, I thank you that your strength is made perfect in our weaknesses. When and where we are weak, there and then you are strong. You give power to the faint and to those who have no might you increase strength. I lift up @Roughsoul1991 and ask you to enable and empower him wherever and whenever he may be short. Heal every pain and sickness, supply according to your riches in glory, remove all barriers and bring about ease into every facet of his life. You said in Isaiah, that the day will come when the burdens will be lifted and yokes destroyed because of the anointing, let that day be today for him/her. Do your thing and take all the glory in the most powerful and wonderful name of Jesus Christ🙏

Oblio · Dec 19, 2021

Me..."Lord, what are You trying to do, kill me?"
The Lord..."Yes."

“I have had enough, Lord!”

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