Hi guys!
I'm currently 17 years old and about 3 months ago truly found Christ. I went to a Christian primary school, but my parents were never religious, a Christian secondary school and I am currently in a Christian college. Religion has always been a big part of my life and about last year, I would start praying every night. It was never a "good prayer". It would always be saying like "Thanks for my friends, I'm sorry for my sins, please can this happen to me". It was selfish praying. I would still sin quite a lot, too. However, something changed about 2-3 months ago. I picked up my Bible (the only Bible in my house is this small red Bible I got when I was 11 and it is only the new testament. I really need a new one!) and started reading. I became more consistent with my prayers, I started following Christian Instagram accounts, I listen to some Christian-based music (I need to fix this about myself because whenever I do listen to it, it makes me feel great but I always choose secular music, instead) and I started noticing things I wouldn't have earlier in my life. When something happens that is wrong, getting feelings inside me when I pray, noticing more and more etc. I remember I was doing an exam I was stressed about, I prayed to God many times beforehand and it was a dark and gloomy day. 20 minutes left, as I was about to give up, the sun came through my window. I had a new lease of life. I finished the exam and was just over the moon with glee and joy because my connection with God in that moment was immense.
However, as I write this, something has been playing at the back of my mind. I keep getting the idea that me saying "Jesus does not exist" sounds true. It angers me because I'm not sure what has changed for me to think this. I think it must be the devil or it might be God testing me but something is there telling me He doesn't exist. I am still praying every night and I try to every morning before I do anything. I haven't been reading my Bible as much the last couple of nights but I always will attempt. I am repenting for my sins, I am realising when I have done something wrong and I know I should repent. But I still keep getting this thought that Jesus isn't real and I don't know what to do.
I thought I would come to this forum to talk about it because I don't know too many Christians in my personal life and I feel that maybe I can get a lot of different views and ideas on this matter.
Please, any response would be appreciated.
-Charlie Zeal
I'm currently 17 years old and about 3 months ago truly found Christ. I went to a Christian primary school, but my parents were never religious, a Christian secondary school and I am currently in a Christian college. Religion has always been a big part of my life and about last year, I would start praying every night. It was never a "good prayer". It would always be saying like "Thanks for my friends, I'm sorry for my sins, please can this happen to me". It was selfish praying. I would still sin quite a lot, too. However, something changed about 2-3 months ago. I picked up my Bible (the only Bible in my house is this small red Bible I got when I was 11 and it is only the new testament. I really need a new one!) and started reading. I became more consistent with my prayers, I started following Christian Instagram accounts, I listen to some Christian-based music (I need to fix this about myself because whenever I do listen to it, it makes me feel great but I always choose secular music, instead) and I started noticing things I wouldn't have earlier in my life. When something happens that is wrong, getting feelings inside me when I pray, noticing more and more etc. I remember I was doing an exam I was stressed about, I prayed to God many times beforehand and it was a dark and gloomy day. 20 minutes left, as I was about to give up, the sun came through my window. I had a new lease of life. I finished the exam and was just over the moon with glee and joy because my connection with God in that moment was immense.
However, as I write this, something has been playing at the back of my mind. I keep getting the idea that me saying "Jesus does not exist" sounds true. It angers me because I'm not sure what has changed for me to think this. I think it must be the devil or it might be God testing me but something is there telling me He doesn't exist. I am still praying every night and I try to every morning before I do anything. I haven't been reading my Bible as much the last couple of nights but I always will attempt. I am repenting for my sins, I am realising when I have done something wrong and I know I should repent. But I still keep getting this thought that Jesus isn't real and I don't know what to do.
I thought I would come to this forum to talk about it because I don't know too many Christians in my personal life and I feel that maybe I can get a lot of different views and ideas on this matter.
Please, any response would be appreciated.
-Charlie Zeal
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