Marriage Advice Please

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HisKid

Banned
#61
Jul 28, 2021
1,226
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#61
tourist said:
I feel like you do every morning when I get out of bed. You have absolutely nothing to be embarrassed about. Facing a new day and dealing with what may come up is an act of courage, especially when you are in pain.
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In this world there will be many troubles. Yay.
 
S

SophieT

Guest
#62
#62
Genipher said:
I always wanted to be the kind of person that was cheerful while in pain but...I'm not. I'm embarrassed to admit it but when I'm in pain, I tend to be less patient with the kids and lash out at the husband more than usual.

And I'm mad at myself because husband had to go back to work and I'm usually strong enough for this kind of work but now? Now I'm not sure if I can go out and continue. 😭
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I deal with pain every day....it's being over tired that can make me less civil...either that or I start thinking everything is funny
 
tourist

tourist

Senior Member
#63
Mar 13, 2014
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#63
SophieT said:
I just read where you are in pain etc..I never said that you did...but you did kind of hint at it

come on Genipher...I'm not having another back and forth with you where at the end you say it was cause you did not feel well

I'm stopping now. I actually do know what I am talking about when it comes to courts etc. all judges are not loons and a woman should not resort to violence except in self defense

hope you get to feeling better. moving is a huge job
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I'm still recovering from our move late last year from Florida to Tennessee. Months later and still not done.
 
Genipher

Genipher

Well-known member
#64
Jan 6, 2019
2,278
1,680
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#64
SophieT said:
I just read where you are in pain etc..I never said that you did...but you did kind of hint at it

come on Genipher...I'm not having another back and forth with you where at the end you say it was cause you did not feel well

I'm stopping now. I actually do know what I am talking about when it comes to courts etc. all judges are not loons and a woman should not resort to violence except in self defense

hope you get to feeling better. moving is a huge job
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Thanks, Sophie. 🙂
 
S

SophieT

Guest
#66
#66
tourist said:
I'm still recovering from our move late last year from Florida to Tennessee. Months later and still not done.
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well yeah...that's a huge move

I have moved all over the place...I'm talking thousands of miles ... I'm talking thousands of miles more than once

our house is worth a small fortune now and I think my husband might have been getting some dollar signs in his eyes..you still have to find another home...we bought this one at an excellent price and it's almost tripled with the crazy housing market

but we live in the country...our house is unique and really nice...and it is so quiet here...good neighbors...nah...I'm staying short of something unforeseen...I really think God handed this one to us. I really do

we also have lots of different wildlife...and I love animals....even the armadillo gets to stay who lives under the garage
 
tourist

tourist

Senior Member
#67
Mar 13, 2014
42,550
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Tennessee
#67
HisKid said:
Sophie? If you are responding to me, my name is Kirsten. :) I don't see Sophie on this thread.
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She just wrote post #62 5 minutes ago Kirsten. By the way, my name is Jerry. :)
 
tourist

tourist

Senior Member
#71
Mar 13, 2014
42,550
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Tennessee
#71
SophieT said:
well yeah...that's a huge move

I have moved all over the place...I'm talking thousands of miles ... I'm talking thousands of miles more than once

our house is worth a small fortune now and I think my husband might have been getting some dollar signs in his eyes..you still have to find another home...we bought this one at an excellent price and it's almost tripled with the crazy housing market

but we live in the country...our house is unique and really nice...and it is so quiet here...good neighbors...nah...I'm staying short of something unforeseen...I really think God handed this one to us. I really do

we also have lots of different wildlife...and I love animals....even the armadillo gets to stay who lives under the garage
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Our intent was to live in the country but somehow ended up in a small city with neighbors. It is a quiet neighborhood though with no thru traffic. Mountains less than 5 minutes away. No more hurricanes, non-stop police sirens and the sounds of gunshots in the night. Used to live in a suburb of Orlando. Total gridlock.
 
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SophieT

Guest
#73
#73
tourist said:
Our intent was to live in the country but somehow ended up in a small city with neighbors. It is a quiet neighborhood though with no thru traffic. Mountains less than 5 minutes away. No more hurricanes, non-stop police sirens and the sounds of gunshots in the night. Used to live in a suburb of Orlando. Total gridlock.
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Orlando is not what it used to be. I would have moved too. love the mountains

we've already dodged a few hurricanes this year...we are about mid FL but a little closer to the gulf, close to a small historical town
 
tourist

tourist

Senior Member
#74
Mar 13, 2014
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#74
SophieT said:
Orlando is not what it used to be. I would have moved too. love the mountains

we've already dodged a few hurricanes this year...we are about mid FL but a little closer to the gulf, close to a small historical town
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I spent the last 6 years living in Clearwater. Was about 5 miles or so from the gulf. Clearwater was a little less congested than Orlando and a few degrees cooler. Plus there was the occasional breeze. The air is always still in Orlando. It was my wife's idea to move. She used to live up north, has been in the Tampa / St. Pete / Clearwater area since 1979 and missed the change of seasons. I moved to Orlando from Michigan in 1985. We are both 66 and are not getting any younger. I am sort of retired but getting a little restless and might find a part-time job of some sort.
 
Subhumanoidal

Subhumanoidal

Well-known member
#75
Sep 17, 2018
4,049
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#75
Genipher said:
I just want to say if you decide to divorce your husband will, more than likely, get visitation rights and you will have ZERO control over what your children are exposed to.

If he is serious about ending this addiction he needs to agree to drop his role as youth pastor, get rid of the "smart" phone and get a basic no frills cell, and find a church with men that will hold him accountable.

If your right eye offends you what are you supposed to do? In this case, get rid of your internet! Cut it off!

And if push comes to shove, blab to the parents of the youth group and warn the woman whose phone he peeked at. Warn them! This kind of addiction can grow into something that can endanger kids.

I read a story once of a woman who caught her husband using porn. He'd gone through great lengths to hide it. She set up a trap, so to speak, and was able to see what he was doing from outside their house. When she was able to see what he was doing she got so sick and angry that she threw a rock through their window. When he ran out to find out what was going on, she ran in with another rock and smashed the computer. Don't be afraid to let that righteous indignation fly!
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Translation, get sent to jail and leave the kids in his custody with no one to monitor them.
And if divorce happens he now looks like the victim of an out of control and dangerous wife, which gives him every advantage in court, including custody of the children.
Or maybe he'll get angry himself and beat her senseless right there.
Perhaps that "righteous indignation" (which it's actually not that at all, it's just unhinged anger) isn't such a good idea after all.
 
JohnDB

JohnDB

Well-known member
#76
Jan 16, 2021
6,180
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#76
tourist said:
I'm still recovering from our move late last year from Florida to Tennessee. Months later and still not done.
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I moved to TN around 30 years ago...
I'm so ready to leave. My family all followed me here. (I've lived in most corners of the USA)

I moved into this place about 5 years ago and just began getting started to clear out and up. There's stuff still in boxes from my move here. Ugghhhh! Obviously gone to the dumpster now.

Don't misunderstand...I've enjoyed my time here and made tons of friends and good memories....but when you are itinerant by nature...I've been here too long...I mean people are considering me as a pillar of the community and everything... totally not my idea of a good time. I need OUT.

I gotta get light and move.
 
tourist

tourist

Senior Member
#77
Mar 13, 2014
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Tennessee
#77
JohnDB said:
I moved to TN around 30 years ago...
I'm so ready to leave. My family all followed me here. (I've lived in most corners of the USA)

I moved into this place about 5 years ago and just began getting started to clear out and up. There's stuff still in boxes from my move here. Ugghhhh! Obviously gone to the dumpster now.

Don't misunderstand...I've enjoyed my time here and made tons of friends and good memories....but when you are itinerant by nature...I've been here too long...I mean people are considering me as a pillar of the community and everything... totally not my idea of a good time. I need OUT.

I gotta get light and move.
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I always made a point when I was single to travel light. I was in Clarksville for 3 years (1980 - 83) when stationed at Ft. Campbell, KY. I have been to Nashville many times, mostly downtown at Vanderbilt Children Hospital. My daughter had a lot of serious issues her first 3 years that the Army hospital was not equipped to handle. Been to Ryman Auditorium once to a John Denver concert. Was about 50 feet from the revolving stage. Good seats. We still got stuff in boxes too. Basically I'm a minimalist but now that I am married I just go with the flow.
 
JohnDB

JohnDB

Well-known member
#78
Jan 16, 2021
6,180
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#78
tourist said:
I always made a point when I was single to travel light. I was in Clarksville for 3 years (1980 - 83) when stationed at Ft. Campbell, KY. I have been to Nashville many times, mostly downtown at Vanderbilt Children Hospital. My daughter had a lot of serious issues her first 3 years that the Army hospital was not equipped to handle. Been to Ryman Auditorium once to a John Denver concert. Was about 50 feet from the revolving stage. Good seats. We still got stuff in boxes too. Basically I'm a minimalist but now that I am married I just go with the flow.
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Completely understand...
We claim to be minimalists too but then we both have these libraries...and all my cooking equipment, my various tools for work and hobbies, her teaching supplies, my other hobbies (extensive) and then her various hobbies and then our traveling gear for international travel. (And all the junk we have collected from around the world)

She is fascinated by tiny houses....our combined libraries won't fit in a single bedroom now much less a tiny house...

So...yeah. I once was so light in stuff. But then all of my living caused junk.
 
1ofthem

1ofthem

Senior Member
#79
Mar 30, 2016
3,729
1,921
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#79
Subhumanoidal said:
Translation, get sent to jail and leave the kids in his custody with no one to monitor them.
And if divorce happens he now looks like the victim of an out of control and dangerous wife, which gives him every advantage in court, including custody of the children.
Or maybe he'll get angry himself and beat her senseless right there.
Perhaps that "righteous indignation" (which it's actually not that at all, it's just unhinged anger) isn't such a good idea after all.
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Well, throwing a rock through the window wouldn't be very wise. The neighbors could see and become witnesses to an event of that nature.

She could make the computer, tablet, or whatever he's using go away, though. Water spills or other accidents can happen at anytime. :censored: lol
 
JohnDB

JohnDB

Well-known member
#80
Jan 16, 2021
6,180
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#80
1ofthem said:
Well, throwing a rock through the window wouldn't be very wise. The neighbors could see and become witnesses to an event of that nature.

She could make the computer, tablet, or whatever he's using go away, though. Water spills or other accidents can happen at anytime. :censored: lol
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Soapy water from cleaning up is a very natural "accident" and a penetrating ionic solution that fries most electronics. Just saying....
(Pure water doesn't conduct electricity,)
 
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