How to overcome past relationship

  • Thread starter Thread starter Gladson_Joseph
  • Start date Start date
  • Christian Chat is a moderated online Christian community allowing Christians around the world to fellowship with each other in real time chat via webcam, voice, and text, with the Christian Chat app. You can also start or participate in a Bible-based discussion here in the Christian Chat Forums, where members can also share with each other their own videos, pictures, or favorite Christian music.

    If you are a Christian and need encouragement and fellowship, we're here for you! If you are not a Christian but interested in knowing more about Jesus our Lord, you're also welcome! Want to know what the Bible says, and how you can apply it to your life? Join us!

    To make new Christian friends now around the world, click here to join Christian Chat.
Gladson_Joseph said:
Need a clarification on what you said. Does that heaviness comes from God so that i won't go back there or is it from evil spirit ?
Click to expand...
Well, the fact that you feel conviction about something that went wrong in the past- that isn't bad. But if you are feeling guilt or maybe low self esteem for days at a time- that's probably not from god.
You've got to identify what that heaviness is.
If you did any kind of fornication- fornication is particularly difficult to shake because it can take the genuine love for that person, and use it to remind you of sin for the rest of your life. But how you respond to that reminder is what makes the difference.
 
SomeDisciple said:
Well, the fact that you feel conviction about something that went wrong in the past- that isn't bad. But if you are feeling guilt or maybe low self esteem for days at a time- that's probably not from god.
You've got to identify what that heaviness is.
If you did any kind of fornication- fornication is particularly difficult to shake because it can take the genuine love for that person, and use it to remind you of sin for the rest of your life. But how you respond to that reminder is what makes the difference.
Click to expand...
No it's not fornication. But I'm still in the process of finding reason for my heaviness. I'm pretty sure it's gonna end soon God is revealing many things in recent days. I'm confused in identifying the enemy whether is it my old self that's trying to hurt me with past or the demon like in Isaiah 61:3(that's what you exactly said praise in the place of heaviness) the spirit of heaviness. If i find it that would be the end of my battle. No worries for me since I have God of hosts on my side. I'm really happy to get so much of support from children of God arround the world thank you.
 
Gladson_Joseph said:
Hello guys, I'll try to make my question as short as possible kindly share your opinion with biblical support if possible. I was in a relationship with a girl for 3 years before coming into Christ. That relationship wasn't really healthy it was a long distant one we were constantly fighting over small issues there was no peace since Christ wasn't with us. The only thing that held us together was lust. She dumped when I told her I comforted one of my cousins(to whom I had feelings before) when she was feeling down by holding her hand(This is India so it's kind of a big thing here). Yet I myself told her that and she accused me of cheating on her and dumped me. I was a wretch for 6 months blamed myself of being a cheater. I apologised yet she blocked me from everything I couldn't understand anything because If i wanted to cheat on her I could have hid it from her. I didn't try to get back to her. So after six months when i was filled with fake guilt by satan and hating myself diverting myself from reality with games and porn. That's when Jesus decided to save a trash like me. I still couldn't understand why lord chose a useless person like me. I'm forever grateful for his love. From then I have his peace then i realised it's all His plan to take me away from that girl because i was idolizing that relationship my eyes were closed back then. And now i see. God himself talked to me through verses like don't go back to her several times. Even after all these whenever I see her in a recent picture or something there's a heaviness inside me. I totally understand it's God's will that i got saved from that relationship and now I have eternity but still something in me doesn't accept it. I don't want to go back to her it's hell(I don't blame her she's a very good person) but whenever something related to her hits me something stirs inside but as soon as I ask God for strength it leaves in a day or two. Can someone help me with this ?.
Click to expand...

Well out of all that, I’d be most concerned with you having feelings for your relative.. Even if you didn’t currently and you were completely innocent in comforting your cousin, I’d be concerned if I were in your ex’s shoes.

Apart from that, any relationship that causes distress is one that’s a blessing to be away from. It’s natural to feel loss after any relationship that lasts years. Focus on the Lord and keep your mind busy with a healthy hobby if needed. I pray you get through this challenging time.
 
  • Like
Reactions: MatthewWestfieldUK
love_comes_softly said:
Well out of all that, I’d be most concerned with you having feelings for your relative.. Even if you didn’t currently and you were completely innocent in comforting your cousin, I’d be concerned if I were in your ex’s shoes.

Apart from that, any relationship that causes distress is one that’s a blessing to be away from. It’s natural to feel loss after any relationship that lasts years. Focus on the Lord and keep your mind busy with a healthy hobby if needed. I pray you get through this challenging time.
Click to expand...
Thank you for your words.
 
  • Like
Reactions: MatthewWestfieldUK
Gladson_Joseph said:
Hello guys, I'll try to make my question as short as possible kindly share your opinion with biblical support if possible. I was in a relationship with a girl for 3 years before coming into Christ. That relationship wasn't really healthy it was a long distant one we were constantly fighting over small issues there was no peace since Christ wasn't with us. The only thing that held us together was lust. She dumped when I told her I comforted one of my cousins(to whom I had feelings before) when she was feeling down by holding her hand(This is India so it's kind of a big thing here). Yet I myself told her that and she accused me of cheating on her and dumped me. I was a wretch for 6 months blamed myself of being a cheater. I apologised yet she blocked me from everything I couldn't understand anything because If i wanted to cheat on her I could have hid it from her. I didn't try to get back to her. So after six months when i was filled with fake guilt by satan and hating myself diverting myself from reality with games and porn. That's when Jesus decided to save a trash like me. I still couldn't understand why lord chose a useless person like me. I'm forever grateful for his love. From then I have his peace then i realised it's all His plan to take me away from that girl because i was idolizing that relationship my eyes were closed back then. And now i see. God himself talked to me through verses like don't go back to her several times. Even after all these whenever I see her in a recent picture or something there's a heaviness inside me. I totally understand it's God's will that i got saved from that relationship and now I have eternity but still something in me doesn't accept it. I don't want to go back to her it's hell(I don't blame her she's a very good person) but whenever something related to her hits me something stirs inside but as soon as I ask God for strength it leaves in a day or two. Can someone help me with this ?.
Click to expand...
You have an emotional tie to her still. You need to forgive her and also forgive yourself. That will usually break any tie. I suggest that you read this article. It is the secret how to forgive when to us it is impossible.

https://www.christianlife.org.au/can-you-forgive-from-your-heart
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top Bottom
Back