I have this cousin, John, that I have been doing things with lately. John has given his life to Christ, a good man, and a hard worker. He's 54 years old and never been married. His only real issue is he's a little socially awkward (not special needs, please don't misunderstand). Other than that, he's an average guy in every sense of term when it comes to his personality. He'll occasionally come with me to the ballroom studio I go to and meet up for dinner on Thursday nights with my family and their friends. Needless to say, two single guys going out and having fun together. However, there is this woman that he really likes and has known her for sometime. I get the strong suspicion that she's not into him.
I finally got to meet this woman, named Angela. This woman's 43 years old, tall, good looking, a nurse, was a dance instructor (she actually helped at one of the places that John danced at), sings in a duet group, and, supposedly, a Christian (at least, John says she is). We went down to town south where we live and watched her sing. Along the way, I had asked other questions about her, and John had told me that Angela lives in a different town altogether from where we were going and where we lived, guys are always chasing her, and she was married at one time. More specifically she's divorced and he doesn't know how that happened. Anyway, she had been in a few other relationships with guys after she was divorced and had traveled quite a bit. Recently, John had finally said to her that he wants to be more than just friends and would like to go out with her. Her response was that she had to work out some things, first, with an ex-bf. Already a sign saying 'no, let's stay friends', but let's continue the story because it gets a little more telling.
We arrive at the place Angela is singing. As mentioned before, she is very attractive and has a good voice, and I can see why John likes her, as far as on a physical level. Whenever she came up to talk to us when she took a break, it wasn't long. My cousin and I had a good time as the night moved on. I even got to sing with a group of ladies that were on their way out, as well as dance with a married couple for a few songs. My cousin is pretty low key and I tried to get him to join in, but he didn't. I didn't care, even as the younger crowd started coming in for their late night drinks (no, I wasn't drunk).
After the last song, we actually got to talk to Angela and the person she was singing with. We began to talk, and somewhere during our conversation (I can't remember how it was triggered), it was brought up that I'm taking ballroom dance lessons, and the place I go to Angela use to be an instructor there and told us about her time there. We brought up about the different styles, and, out of the blue, we demonstrated some of the moves from the different styles I was taking. We even did a full minute of waltz, and I was trying to get John to do it instead. Still, he didn't want to, even though he invited me along and I warmed Angela up to do it (oh well). In any case, we said our goodbyes afterwards and went home.
John still didn't seem to get the hint that Angela is not that interested in him. He seems convinced that she has a greater level of attraction towards him than what she's letting on, just by these little gestures she had, supposedly, made towards him. The fact that this woman was fine with me, a stranger, to dance with her, her little interaction with John while we were at the place where she sang, and when she had told him that she had to work out things with her ex-boyfriend should have all been signs that she doesn't want anything to do with him on a romantic level.
What I'm trying to figure out is how I should break it to him without there being a damper on our friendship. Like I said before, he is a good man and he has given his life to Christ. However, he tells me that if she let's him know she's not interested he'll move on, but because of these, supposed, little things that he says she does towards him, I don't think he believes what he said. I could just say flat out that she doesn't like him in that way, but that would probably hurt the friendship we have developed and he wouldn't believe it anyway. Or I could just let him find out on his own. I've told him about my experience with women like this and I told him the end result of each one when I would go on my own and discover they weren't interested. Whatever the case, opinions would be appreciated (but keep them civil). Prayer would be better because I hate seeing good men to have to go through this, and I'll bet this woman has plenty of men chasing her (and wants to keep it that way).
I finally got to meet this woman, named Angela. This woman's 43 years old, tall, good looking, a nurse, was a dance instructor (she actually helped at one of the places that John danced at), sings in a duet group, and, supposedly, a Christian (at least, John says she is). We went down to town south where we live and watched her sing. Along the way, I had asked other questions about her, and John had told me that Angela lives in a different town altogether from where we were going and where we lived, guys are always chasing her, and she was married at one time. More specifically she's divorced and he doesn't know how that happened. Anyway, she had been in a few other relationships with guys after she was divorced and had traveled quite a bit. Recently, John had finally said to her that he wants to be more than just friends and would like to go out with her. Her response was that she had to work out some things, first, with an ex-bf. Already a sign saying 'no, let's stay friends', but let's continue the story because it gets a little more telling.
We arrive at the place Angela is singing. As mentioned before, she is very attractive and has a good voice, and I can see why John likes her, as far as on a physical level. Whenever she came up to talk to us when she took a break, it wasn't long. My cousin and I had a good time as the night moved on. I even got to sing with a group of ladies that were on their way out, as well as dance with a married couple for a few songs. My cousin is pretty low key and I tried to get him to join in, but he didn't. I didn't care, even as the younger crowd started coming in for their late night drinks (no, I wasn't drunk).
After the last song, we actually got to talk to Angela and the person she was singing with. We began to talk, and somewhere during our conversation (I can't remember how it was triggered), it was brought up that I'm taking ballroom dance lessons, and the place I go to Angela use to be an instructor there and told us about her time there. We brought up about the different styles, and, out of the blue, we demonstrated some of the moves from the different styles I was taking. We even did a full minute of waltz, and I was trying to get John to do it instead. Still, he didn't want to, even though he invited me along and I warmed Angela up to do it (oh well). In any case, we said our goodbyes afterwards and went home.
John still didn't seem to get the hint that Angela is not that interested in him. He seems convinced that she has a greater level of attraction towards him than what she's letting on, just by these little gestures she had, supposedly, made towards him. The fact that this woman was fine with me, a stranger, to dance with her, her little interaction with John while we were at the place where she sang, and when she had told him that she had to work out things with her ex-boyfriend should have all been signs that she doesn't want anything to do with him on a romantic level.
What I'm trying to figure out is how I should break it to him without there being a damper on our friendship. Like I said before, he is a good man and he has given his life to Christ. However, he tells me that if she let's him know she's not interested he'll move on, but because of these, supposed, little things that he says she does towards him, I don't think he believes what he said. I could just say flat out that she doesn't like him in that way, but that would probably hurt the friendship we have developed and he wouldn't believe it anyway. Or I could just let him find out on his own. I've told him about my experience with women like this and I told him the end result of each one when I would go on my own and discover they weren't interested. Whatever the case, opinions would be appreciated (but keep them civil). Prayer would be better because I hate seeing good men to have to go through this, and I'll bet this woman has plenty of men chasing her (and wants to keep it that way).
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Along with prayers for his well-being, protecting his heart etc...