Hi Lost,I dare say that at one time or another,whether one has received Jesus or not,we all have felt this way at one time or another. I sure did! ( Luke 15:11-32) Please do read this. verses 27-32!!!!! The feeling of being lost,is not knowing the truth that we have already been found!
From serving 2 Tours in Vietnam,I know this feeling very well before Jesus found me. I will relate a true story for you to consider. In 1970 we had 3 men lost in the jungle near the Perfume River,after some 21 days,our Black opts found them,all dead sitting by a tree,upon the return to our commander,they stated this to him,and he said " SAD!!! They all died of shame" A solider never gives up!! They had two feet,and could have searched and moved until some help could arrive to help them,instead they all sat by a tree to die?
Do not just sit by a tree my friend!!! Jesus loves you and is more then willing to help you,but you must do your part as well.( Matt 7:7) You have done the first part,you asked,now you must seek,please find a good church,for we all need support. The Lord will help you,in spite of your feeling. The Lord has already forgiven you,why is it,that you do not believe??
There are 3 people in the Bible who wrote most of it,and all 3 of them had one sin in common,they all murdered someone!!! Paul, Moses,and David. Jesus forgave them!! But you are different??? Ah NO!!! Its a new day today,your blackboard is clean as Jesus wiped away all your sin,we just take his Word on that! ( Rom 6:17-23!!)
Get used to staying in God's Word,this has greatly helped me overcome my feeling!! My prayer and blessing rest upon you,as they do on every believer!! Instead of feeling sorry for yourself,do as I have done and no matter what remain thankful!! For this is directly in God's own will!! ( 1 Thess 5:18) Don't feel shame,rather feel glad Jesus loves you in spite of you,even as he does me!!
The love you felt you lost for now you have this day become found!!! YEA!! Jesus must come first,our love can not rest upon any man,or woman,I had to find this out the hard way as well. Human love can change, Jesus love cannot!! He will help you find your mate if that is your desire,but first,you must get your life in order as well as you mindset. To become found is great,to stay found through Jesus and his Word is even better!! Courage never despair!! Blessing to you!