Is it Biblically permissive to beat one's wife?

[TheLearner]

1 Peter 2:20-25 Proof text used by a study.

Easy-to-Read Version

20 But if you are punished for doing wrong, there is no reason to praise you for bearing that punishment. But if you suffer for doing good and you are patient, this pleases God. 21 This is what you were chosen to do. Christ gave you an example to follow. He suffered for you. So you should do the same as he did:
22 “He never sinned,
and he never told a lie.”
23 People insulted him, but he did not insult them back. He suffered, but he did not threaten anyone. No, he let God take care of him. God is the one who judges rightly. 24 Christ carried our sins in his body on the cross. He did this so that we would stop living for sin and live for what is right. By his wounds you were healed. 25 You were like sheep that went the wrong way. But now you have come back to the Shepherd and Protector of your lives.
"

From the Study, A link to the below study was part of a link posted. I do not agree with beating one's wife.

"f. Submission to an unbelieving husband, partnership with a believing wife. Submission and living with an unbelieving husband. In 1Pet.3v1-6., Peter gives a totally different emphasis, he states how a Christian wife must act if they are married to an unbeliever. a) Many more women than men have been converted in Church history, so the combination of a believing wife with an unbelieving husband has been a common occurrence. A Christian woman must not argue with or preach at their unbelieving husband, but submit, and win their husbands without a word. In 1Pet.2v11 to 3v8., Peter suggests that a Christian wife should be prepared to stand some abuse, he says “Likewise ye wives,” and infers that wives are to stand some buffeting like slaves, and be submissive even to the harsh, and take ill treatment patiently like Jesus. Submission means that we trust God to work things out, like Jesus, who though brutally treated, “kept entrusting himself to Him who judges righteously.” 1Pet.2v23. " https://truthforthelastdays.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/05/marriage_and_divorce.pdf

1 Peter 3:1
Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives;

1 Peter 1:22
Seeing ye have purified your souls in obeying the truth through the Spirit unto unfeigned love of the brethren, see that ye love one another with a pure heart fervently:

Ephesians 5:28
So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself.


1 Peter 2:23
King James Version
23 Who, when he was reviled, reviled not again; when he suffered, he threatened not; but committed himself to him that judgeth righteously:

 

[TheLearner]

In short, on the thread related to Divorce someone posted a study that contained "Peter suggests that a Christian wife should be prepared to stand some abuse, he says “Likewise ye wives,” and infers that wives are to stand some buffeting like slaves, and be submissive even to the harsh, and take ill treatment patiently like Jesus. Submission means that we trust God to work things out, like Jesus, who though brutally treated, “kept entrusting himself to Him who judges righteously.”

From my reading the author of the study is justifly men beating, abusing their wives. I think to do so would be a serious sin. And, women have a right to protect themselves and protect their children by separating from such a man for the purpose of getting counseling from someone who does not try to justify abusing women. The purpose of counseling would be effectively deal with stopping the abuse and reconciling a marriage following the biblical model of men loving their wives.

Start with post 76 thru 79
https://christianchat.com/bible-dis...paration-bibically.200188/page-4#post-4603773

 

[TheLearner]

To make this thread positive, post about how to treat one's wife.

 

[Gideon300]

1 Peter 2:20-25 Proof text used by a study.

Easy-to-Read Version

20 But if you are punished for doing wrong, there is no reason to praise you for bearing that punishment. But if you suffer for doing good and you are patient, this pleases God. 21 This is what you were chosen to do. Christ gave you an example to follow. He suffered for you. So you should do the same as he did:
22 “He never sinned,
and he never told a lie.”
23 People insulted him, but he did not insult them back. He suffered, but he did not threaten anyone. No, he let God take care of him. God is the one who judges rightly. 24 Christ carried our sins in his body on the cross. He did this so that we would stop living for sin and live for what is right. By his wounds you were healed. 25 You were like sheep that went the wrong way. But now you have come back to the Shepherd and Protector of your lives.
"

From the Study, A link to the below study was part of a link posted. I do not agree with beating one's wife.

"f. Submission to an unbelieving husband, partnership with a believing wife. Submission and living with an unbelieving husband. In 1Pet.3v1-6., Peter gives a totally different emphasis, he states how a Christian wife must act if they are married to an unbeliever. a) Many more women than men have been converted in Church history, so the combination of a believing wife with an unbelieving husband has been a common occurrence. A Christian woman must not argue with or preach at their unbelieving husband, but submit, and win their husbands without a word. In 1Pet.2v11 to 3v8., Peter suggests that a Christian wife should be prepared to stand some abuse, he says “Likewise ye wives,” and infers that wives are to stand some buffeting like slaves, and be submissive even to the harsh, and take ill treatment patiently like Jesus. Submission means that we trust God to work things out, like Jesus, who though brutally treated, “kept entrusting himself to Him who judges righteously.” 1Pet.2v23. " https://truthforthelastdays.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/05/marriage_and_divorce.pdf

1 Peter 3:1
Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives;

1 Peter 1:22
Seeing ye have purified your souls in obeying the truth through the Spirit unto unfeigned love of the brethren, see that ye love one another with a pure heart fervently:

Ephesians 5:28
So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself.


1 Peter 2:23
King James Version
23 Who, when he was reviled, reviled not again; when he suffered, he threatened not; but committed himself to him that judgeth righteously:

There is no excuse ever for physical violence against a woman, except in the rare cases of self defence. Children should be physically disciplined, but adults, never. One reason is that violence escalates. Too often a violent man goes too far and kills his wife. Alcohol and/or drugs are usually involved. Christian men are exhorted to love their wives. No sane man is going to beat himself physically because he fails to meet an expectation. Why should he be allowed to beat his wife?

1 Corinthians 7:12-16 gives us God's view on situations where one spouse is saved and one is not. One of the keys is that the unbelieving spouse is willing to live in peace. If they are not willing and leave the relationship, the Christian spouse is not responsible.

As in all things, it is vital to seek God's will before making a decision.

 

[ewq1938]

In 1Pet.2v11 to 3v8., Peter suggests that a Christian wife should be prepared to stand some abuse, he says “Likewise ye wives,” and infers that wives are to stand some buffeting like slaves, and be submissive even to the harsh, and take ill treatment patiently like Jesus. Submission means that we trust God to work things out, like Jesus, who though brutally treated, “kept entrusting himself to Him who judges righteously.” 1Pet.2v23.

Don't listen to what "the learner" is saying. The bible does not say nor infer "that wives are to stand some buffeting like slaves, and be submissive even to the harsh, and take ill treatment patiently like Jesus."

He also ignores this:

1Pe 3:7 Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife , as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.


Here is the actual passage which does not have anything that this member claims:


1Pe 2:8 And a stone of stumbling, and a rock of offence, even to them which stumble at the word, being disobedient: whereunto also they were appointed.
1Pe 2:9 But ye are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, an holy nation, a peculiar people; that ye should shew forth the praises of him who hath called you out of darkness into his marvellous light:
1Pe 2:10 Which in time past were not a people, but are now the people of God: which had not obtained mercy, but now have obtained mercy.
1Pe 2:11 Dearly beloved, I beseech you as strangers and pilgrims, abstain from fleshly lusts, which war against the soul;
1Pe 2:12 Having your conversation honest among the Gentiles: that, whereas they speak against you as evildoers, they may by your good works, which they shall behold, glorify God in the day of visitation.
Submission to Authority
1Pe 2:13 Submit yourselves to every ordinance of man for the Lord's sake: whether it be to the king, as supreme;
1Pe 2:14 Or unto governors, as unto them that are sent by him for the punishment of evildoers, and for the praise of them that do well.
1Pe 2:15 For so is the will of God, that with well doing ye may put to silence the ignorance of foolish men:
1Pe 2:16 As free, and not using your liberty for a cloke of maliciousness, but as the servants of God.
1Pe 2:17 Honour all men. Love the brotherhood. Fear God. Honour the king.
1Pe 2:18 Servants, be subject to your masters with all fear; not only to the good and gentle, but also to the froward.
1Pe 2:19 For this is thankworthy, if a man for conscience toward God endure grief, suffering wrongfully.
1Pe 2:20 For what glory is it, if, when ye be buffeted for your faults, ye shall take it patiently? but if, when ye do well, and suffer for it, ye take it patiently, this is acceptable with God.
1Pe 2:21 For even hereunto were ye called: because Christ also suffered for us, leaving us an example, that ye should follow his steps:
1Pe 2:22 Who did no sin, neither was guile found in his mouth:
1Pe 2:23 Who, when he was reviled, reviled not again; when he suffered, he threatened not; but committed himself to him that judgeth righteously:
1Pe 2:24 Who his own self bare our sins in his own body on the tree, that we, being dead to sins, should live unto righteousness: by whose stripes ye were healed.
1Pe 2:25 For ye were as sheep going astray; but are now returned unto the Shepherd and Bishop of your souls.

Pe 3:1 Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives;
1Pe 3:2 While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear.
1Pe 3:3 Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel;
1Pe 3:4 But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price.
1Pe 3:5 For after this manner in the old time the holy women also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection unto their own husbands:
1Pe 3:6 Even as Sara obeyed Abraham, calling him lord: whose daughters ye are, as long as ye do well, and are not afraid with any amazement.
1Pe 3:7 Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.
Suffering for Righteousness' Sake
1Pe 3:8 Finally, be ye all of one mind, having compassion one of another, love as brethren, be pitiful, be courteous:
1Pe 3:9 Not rendering evil for evil, or railing for railing: but contrariwise blessing; knowing that ye are thereunto called, that ye should inherit a blessing.
1Pe 3:10 For he that will love life, and see good days, let him refrain his tongue from evil, and his lips that they speak no guile:
1Pe 3:11 Let him eschew evil, and do good; let him seek peace, and ensue it.
1Pe 3:12 For the eyes of the Lord are over the righteous, and his ears are open unto their prayers: but the face of the Lord is against them that do evil.
1Pe 3:13 And who is he that will harm you, if ye be followers of that which is good?
1Pe 3:14 But and if ye suffer for righteousness' sake, happy are ye: and be not afraid of their terror, neither be troubled;
1Pe 3:15 But sanctify the Lord God in your hearts: and be ready always to give an answer to every man that asketh you a reason of the hope that is in you with meekness and fear:
1Pe 3:16 Having a good conscience; that, whereas they speak evil of you, as of evildoers, they may be ashamed that falsely accuse your good conversation in Christ.
1Pe 3:17 For it is better, if the will of God be so, that ye suffer for well doing, than for evil doing.
1Pe 3:18 For Christ also hath once suffered for sins, the just for the unjust, that he might bring us to God, being put to death in the flesh, but quickened by the Spirit:
1Pe 3:19 By which also he went and preached unto the spirits in prison;
1Pe 3:20 Which sometime were disobedient, when once the longsuffering of God waited in the days of Noah, while the ark was a preparing, wherein few, that is, eight souls were saved by water.
1Pe 3:21 The like figure whereunto even baptism doth also now save us (not the putting away of the filth of the flesh, but the answer of a good conscience toward God,) by the resurrection of Jesus Christ:
1Pe 3:22 Who is gone into heaven, and is on the right hand of God; angels and authorities and powers being made subject unto him.

 

[Dino246]

If it's "biblically permissible" to beat one's wife, then it is also "biblically permissible" for the father, brother(s), or other family of that wife to teach said husband "a lesson of biblical proportions".

Or, to answer the question directly,

HELL NO!

/Rant off.

 

[NotmebutHim]

Husbands and wives should not abuse each other. There is absolutely nothing in Scripture that condones such behavior.

 

[iamsoandso]

lol, I've never beat my wife. To me that just isn't a Christian approach in fact it seems to me as a "bed wetting",,,that is eventually it will dawn on you that she will lie beside you in bed but she will be wishing you were a good man instead of the one you are...

 

[Kireina]

Hmmm...How to treat one's wife...? This verse is what comes to my heart

Mark 12:31

31 The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no commandment greater than these.”


(And i would say NO! beating your wife or husband is not right) 😱

 

[JerryInBoston]

1 Peter 2:20-25 Proof text used by a study.

Easy-to-Read Version

20 But if you are punished for doing wrong, there is no reason to praise you for bearing that punishment. But if you suffer for doing good and you are patient, this pleases God. 21 This is what you were chosen to do. Christ gave you an example to follow. He suffered for you. So you should do the same as he did:
22 “He never sinned,
and he never told a lie.”
23 People insulted him, but he did not insult them back. He suffered, but he did not threaten anyone. No, he let God take care of him. God is the one who judges rightly. 24 Christ carried our sins in his body on the cross. He did this so that we would stop living for sin and live for what is right. By his wounds you were healed. 25 You were like sheep that went the wrong way. But now you have come back to the Shepherd and Protector of your lives.
"

From the Study, A link to the below study was part of a link posted. I do not agree with beating one's wife.

"f. Submission to an unbelieving husband, partnership with a believing wife. Submission and living with an unbelieving husband. In 1Pet.3v1-6., Peter gives a totally different emphasis, he states how a Christian wife must act if they are married to an unbeliever. a) Many more women than men have been converted in Church history, so the combination of a believing wife with an unbelieving husband has been a common occurrence. A Christian woman must not argue with or preach at their unbelieving husband, but submit, and win their husbands without a word. In 1Pet.2v11 to 3v8., Peter suggests that a Christian wife should be prepared to stand some abuse, he says “Likewise ye wives,” and infers that wives are to stand some buffeting like slaves, and be submissive even to the harsh, and take ill treatment patiently like Jesus. Submission means that we trust God to work things out, like Jesus, who though brutally treated, “kept entrusting himself to Him who judges righteously.” 1Pet.2v23. " https://truthforthelastdays.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/05/marriage_and_divorce.pdf

1 Peter 3:1
Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives;

1 Peter 1:22
Seeing ye have purified your souls in obeying the truth through the Spirit unto unfeigned love of the brethren, see that ye love one another with a pure heart fervently:

Ephesians 5:28
So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself.


1 Peter 2:23
King James Version
23 Who, when he was reviled, reviled not again; when he suffered, he threatened not; but committed himself to him that judgeth righteously:

NO. Plain and simple: NO. Ephesians 5:"22 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.

25 Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, 26 that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, 27 so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish.a 28 In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, 30 because we are members of his body."

 

[Blik]

Scripture tells us we are to love, protect, and care for our body. We are to love others as we love ourselves. If we love and care for ourselves, we would protect ourselves from physical abuse.

1 Cor. 3:16 Do you not know that you are God’s temple and that God’s Spirit dwells in you?

 

[TheIndianGirl]

The Bible does not specifically discuss domestic abuse (for or against), but speaks generally on how spouses should treat each other (with love, respect, honor, etc.). So no, I don't think it is permissive.

But the main question I believe the OP was asking, which I do not see discussed above, was whether the wife should submit/put up with domestic abuse.

 

[TheIndianGirl]

1 Peter 2
11 Dear friends, I urge you, as foreigners and exiles, to abstain from sinful desires, which wage war against your soul. 12 Live such good lives among the pagans that, though they accuse you of doing wrong, they may see your good deeds and glorify God on the day he visits us.

13 Submit yourselves for the Lord’s sake to every human authority: whether to the emperor, as the supreme authority, 14 or to governors, who are sent by him to punish those who do wrong and to commend those who do right. 15 For it is God’s will that by doing good you should silence the ignorant talk of foolish people. 16 Live as free people, but do not use your freedom as a cover-up for evil; live as God’s slaves. 17 Show proper respect to everyone, love the family of believers, fear God, honor the emperor.

18 Slaves, in reverent fear of God submit yourselves to your masters, not only to those who are good and considerate, but also to those who are harsh. 19 For it is commendable if someone bears up under the pain of unjust suffering because they are conscious of God. 20 But how is it to your credit if you receive a beating for doing wrong and endure it? But if you suffer for doing good and you endure it, this is commendable before God. 21 To this you were called, because Christ suffered for you, leaving you an example, that you should follow in his steps.

22 “He committed no sin,
and no deceit was found in his mouth.”[e]
23 When they hurled their insults at him, he did not retaliate; when he suffered, he made no threats. Instead, he entrusted himself to him who judges justly. 24 “He himself bore our sins” in his body on the cross, so that we might die to sins and live for righteousness; “by his wounds you have been healed.” 25 For “you were like sheep going astray,”[f] but now you have returned to the Shepherd and Overseer of your souls.

1 Peter 3
1 Wives, in the same way submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, 2 when they see the purity and reverence of your lives. 3 Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. 4 Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. 5 For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to adorn themselves. They submitted themselves to their own husbands, 6 like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her lord. You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A plain reading of the text could suggest that wives put up with domestic abuse. First, the text discusses slaves and then Jesus, about submitting even to harshness and not retaliating but to become conscious of God during this process. Then, the text immediately moves to wives, stating "in the same way" (or "likewise ye wives"), about submitting to ungodly husbands so the wives can win them over to God. What type of characteristics do ungodly husbands have? They are the drunks, violent, quarrelsome, "harsh", etc., and we can reasonably assume they may also be wife-beaters. There are various levels of physical domestic abuse (from pulling hair/ears, twisting arm, etc. to severe). I don't think the above verses are talking about life-threatening abuse, there are punishments for abusers in those cases. But for the less minor physical domestic abuse, I can see how the text could be interpreted to mean that the wife should put up with it so that her behavior could eventually win over her husband. In any event, such abuse is not permissible in a marriage and God hates such types of abuse.

 

[Gibsonbfree]

TheLearner was right.

It’s talking about a wife who is with Jesus but married to a husband that isn’t with Jesus.

The verses about treating good was for those who are Christians and trying to be.

But the point of post was that the wife isn’t with a godly man nor one who is trying to be. So Paul is saying God expects her to withstand the abuse and never insult or fight back and be kind like Jesus did in the hope that the husband would be won over to believing in Jesus as well. It’s that kindness and not fighting back while abused that can sometimes make a person see there’s something special about them that they still love and are not fighting back.

The thing is, unless God gives a woman or anyone the power of the Holy Spirit to withstand that abuse, no one can cause all people are made different with different levels of mental and physical. Like able to handle stress or stay calm or not be mentally ill. There may be some that have great constitutions mentally abd to handle stress but w/o the Holy Spirit nothing pleases God because it’s then the person in their own strength doing the works.

The idea of taking abuse is like slavery and Slavery was instituted by God. He put His people through slavery 400 years as a way of submission as what Jesus went through suffering and having to be patient and obey while oppressed. There is many verses about this people have no idea it’s not how they think.

 

[JaumeJ]

The Bible does certainly mention domestic abuse, though not in those words.

It is written a man should respect his spouse for in abusing her in any fashion is abusing himself and this should not be.

 

[CS1]

this thread is like trying to nail jello to the wall. Any real Christian with an ounce of discernment knows full well beating your wife is not Christ-like. To even suggest it is so in scripture is so perverse it is not even funny. This is a great example of how the word of God is no longer reverence as such. There will be those who will try to make God evil in HIS ways.

 

[Hungry]

I’m not writing this from a Biblical perspective but you can’t deny this. Spanking is a huge turn on for some women. It has nothing to do with violence. It’s not like a rage induced beating. It’s a demonstration of dominance and authority. Granted “Fifty Shades of Grey” was a worldly poorly written book series. These books woke up a passion in MANY women. Carnally a woman is sexually driven to a dominant man to reproduce but psychologically driven to a fun man to spend time with. I did my research. More women than you think are ok with, even sexually stimulated by a man who lovingly administers a firm spanking when she admittedly “gets out of line”. Be clear, this is not about an uncontrolled beating. This is a disciplinary spanking. I can’t wait to see the thumbs down and Xs to follow.

 

[CS1]

I’m not writing this from a Biblical perspective but you can’t deny this. Spanking is a huge turn on for some women. It has nothing to do with violence. It’s not like a rage induced beating. It’s a demonstration of dominance and authority. Granted “Fifty Shades of Grey” was a worldly poorly written book series. These books woke up a passion in MANY women. Carnally a woman is sexually driven to a dominant man to reproduce but psychologically driven to a fun man to spend time with. I did my research. More women than you think are ok with, even sexually stimulated by a man who lovingly administers a firm spanking when she admittedly “gets out of line”. Be clear, this is not about an uncontrolled beating. This is a disciplinary spanking. I can’t wait to see the thumbs down and Xs to follow.

You are a sick perverted person. Clearly up late like a twisted voyeur. I am sure you did your RE-search. Looking for attention like an exhibitionist. Any woman who has pleasure in a spanking as you suggest must have been abused for some time. I will report you because most likely you are needing to be watched around children. sick puppy. I can't wait for your thumbs down and Xs to follow

 

[Hungry]

You are a sick perverted person. Clearly up late like a twisted voyeur. I am sure you did your RE-search. Looking for attention like an exhibitionist. Any woman who has pleasure in a spanking as you suggest must have been abused for some time. I will report you because most likely you are needing to be watched around children. sick puppy. I can't wait for your thumbs down and Xs to follow

Perhaps you protest too much? You can report me all you want. I guarantee the countless research papers I’ve read over the years and psychology articles to examine how we are wonderfully made, has been more exhaustive than your conclusions on my exhibition and pedophilia habits. I was just as surprised as you to see the results, not as indignant, but definitely not what I expected. All my life I noticed how women tended to fall for the jerks while nice guys bringing flowers are looked over. It’s not jerks women fall for. It’s dominance that triggers procreative urges to maintain strong genetics. Your response is indicative of your bias towards new information. Good luck in life.

 

[NotmebutHim]

To be clear, my post wasn't intended to imply that the OP supports or condones beating one's wife. He explicitly stated that he doesn't agree with it. All I did was offer my thoughts on the matter.