Need for myself and family Please

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Emmers

Emmers

New member
#1
Jul 4, 2021
15
10
3
Usa
#1
I think it’s James 1 that tells us to consider it pure joy when we face trials of many kinds knowing that our faith being tested develops perseverance…

Well I think I’m knee deep, and I need to be covered in prayer by the Saints of God.

My oldest daughter and I have had a very small apt(1bdrm) together for the past 3 years. She has a severe mental illness which gives us heart heavy concerns from time to time.
Recently(mid April) my youngest daughter who is a single mother of four little ones (4yrs and younger) had to move into our tiny place, with the babies. It has been extremely challenging. She is severely depressed and is not seeking any kind of help in spite of constant encouragement to do so. She has an addiction to marijuana. The depression is stressful on all of us, of course because it heavily aides in the living environment. My home has become a disaster zone.
I am conflicted because I’ve resulted to getting motel rooms(I can’t really afford) to get time away from the chaos and clear my mind.

I feel bad because I want to help her and the kids but I don’t know what I can do aside from what I’m doing. I want to try and fill in the gaps but I’d have to quit my job, at this point, to do anymore.
I’m addition to this, my lease is up at the end of the month, and getting a new place has been challenging because of poor credit.

It’s a lot. You see why I feel this scripture?


I’m torn because she wants all 7 of us to get a larger place, but seeing what type of roommate she is, I just wanna run.

I believe God can turn this situation around, but I’m lost on what decision to make. There’s no time to waste here.

Let the Holy Spirit guide your prayers and please pray for us.

Thank you
 
T

TheIndianGirl

Guest
#2
#2
Sorry to hear you are going through all this. You already have enough work caring for your oldest daughter, and now to add to that your younger daughter with her four kids. As there are four kids involved and their well-being is important, and because your younger daughter is very irresponsible, the only option you have is to get a bigger place until your younger daughter becomes responsible and can move out and get her own place for her and the kids. As head of household, I believe you should pool ALL resources together and get a bigger place. Make sure your daughters are fully contributing; the financial burden should not lay solely on you. If your younger daughter is being unreasonable, I think you would be in a position to kick her but should offer your home to her children.
 
T

TheIndianGirl

Guest
#3
#3
I do not think you should quit your job.
 
Bingo

Bingo

Well-known member
#4
Feb 9, 2019
9,187
4,749
113
#4
fograysprayerkneeling - Copy (7) - Copy - Copy - Copy - Copy - Copy - Copy - Copy.jpg
"I pray your needs are met, and circumstances change for the better,
and that right decisions are forthcoming."
'Amen'
 
Subhumanoidal

Subhumanoidal

Well-known member
#5
Sep 17, 2018
4,056
3,170
113
#5
Emmers said:
I think it’s James 1 that tells us to consider it pure joy when we face trials of many kinds knowing that our faith being tested develops perseverance…

Well I think I’m knee deep, and I need to be covered in prayer by the Saints of God.

My oldest daughter and I have had a very small apt(1bdrm) together for the past 3 years. She has a severe mental illness which gives us heart heavy concerns from time to time.
Recently(mid April) my youngest daughter who is a single mother of four little ones (4yrs and younger) had to move into our tiny place, with the babies. It has been extremely challenging. She is severely depressed and is not seeking any kind of help in spite of constant encouragement to do so. She has an addiction to marijuana. The depression is stressful on all of us, of course because it heavily aides in the living environment. My home has become a disaster zone.
I am conflicted because I’ve resulted to getting motel rooms(I can’t really afford) to get time away from the chaos and clear my mind.

I feel bad because I want to help her and the kids but I don’t know what I can do aside from what I’m doing. I want to try and fill in the gaps but I’d have to quit my job, at this point, to do anymore.
I’m addition to this, my lease is up at the end of the month, and getting a new place has been challenging because of poor credit.

It’s a lot. You see why I feel this scripture?


I’m torn because she wants all 7 of us to get a larger place, but seeing what type of roommate she is, I just wanna run.

I believe God can turn this situation around, but I’m lost on what decision to make. There’s no time to waste here.

Let the Holy Spirit guide your prayers and please pray for us.

Thank you
Click to expand...
If you already know you'll be running away, even in a bigger place, then that's your answer. You want to help, and that's reasonable, but if you move into a situation like the one you're in, on a more permanent basis, how much help will you be? You'll never want to help because you'll never want to be home.
It's clearly unwise and counterproductive to live together long term

And depression is rough. I've had it for 30+ years now and motivation to take care of even basic needs can be a real challenge, let alone raise 4 kids solo.

I'd recommend the book Boundaries by Christian psychologist Townsend and Cloud. It sounds like it may come in handy for you. I read it years ago and am rereading it now. It has some good ideas.
 
de-emerald

de-emerald

Well-known member
#9
May 8, 2021
1,652
574
113
#9
Praying for you and your family emmers, let us pray for emmers daughter to get better from mental illness and emmers other daughter to overcome a drug addiction. let us pray for the well beiing of all of emmers family and her 4 grand children. let us pray that emmers finds a way to cope through theeses testing times and our lord and saviour finds a a away to help them. amen
 
Emmers

Emmers

New member
#10
Jul 4, 2021
15
10
3
Usa
#10
de-emerald said:
Praying for you and your family emmers, let us pray for emmers daughter to get better from mental illness and emmers other daughter to overcome a drug addiction. let us pray for the well beiing of all of emmers family and her 4 grand children. let us pray that emmers finds a way to cope through theeses testing times and our lord and saviour finds a a away to help them. amen
Click to expand...
🙌🏾Amen🙌🏾 Thank you. May God bless🙏🏾
 
H

Hungry

Banned
#11
Nov 26, 2012
3,095
1,050
113
#11
Emmers said:
I think it’s James 1 that tells us to consider it pure joy when we face trials of many kinds knowing that our faith being tested develops perseverance…

Well I think I’m knee deep, and I need to be covered in prayer by the Saints of God.

My oldest daughter and I have had a very small apt(1bdrm) together for the past 3 years. She has a severe mental illness which gives us heart heavy concerns from time to time.
Recently(mid April) my youngest daughter who is a single mother of four little ones (4yrs and younger) had to move into our tiny place, with the babies. It has been extremely challenging. She is severely depressed and is not seeking any kind of help in spite of constant encouragement to do so. She has an addiction to marijuana. The depression is stressful on all of us, of course because it heavily aides in the living environment. My home has become a disaster zone.
I am conflicted because I’ve resulted to getting motel rooms(I can’t really afford) to get time away from the chaos and clear my mind.

I feel bad because I want to help her and the kids but I don’t know what I can do aside from what I’m doing. I want to try and fill in the gaps but I’d have to quit my job, at this point, to do anymore.
I’m addition to this, my lease is up at the end of the month, and getting a new place has been challenging because of poor credit.

It’s a lot. You see why I feel this scripture?


I’m torn because she wants all 7 of us to get a larger place, but seeing what type of roommate she is, I just wanna run.

I believe God can turn this situation around, but I’m lost on what decision to make. There’s no time to waste here.

Let the Holy Spirit guide your prayers and please pray for us.

Thank you
Click to expand...
I got empathy stress just reading this. I’m not a mom and I know moms have a hard time with tough love. My human side wants to tell you that being a crutch and an enabler only fuels this situation. Why should you provide shelter so she can buy pot with her resources? However, I also see that this presents an opportunity. These grandchildren will get first hand witness at how God strengthens His children. This being said, you need to lead and take control of the situation. Retreat is not an option.

Heavenly Father, grant wisdom to your servant. Give her the strength and resources to do Your will. Open the eyes of her selfish daughter to see how a mother is supposed to behave. Send Your Spirit to vex the father of these children to support and take interest in their life. Thank you Lord for being a Father to the fatherless and strength to the weak. I ask and thank You for this in Yeshua’s name.
 
Sculpt

Sculpt

Well-known member
#13
Apr 18, 2021
1,138
362
83
#13
I prayed for you and your family. May God give you the wisdom, love and strength you need, and provide a way.

Remember God gives what we need for the day. We only live in this day (not tomorrow or yesterday). That's all we need. Not that you do this... but don't the the cares of yesterday or tomorrow sap the strength you've been given for today.

I'm not informed enough to provide you a solution. I'm sure your mind is filled with those. Has your daughter with the 4 children receiving all the benefits allocated to her by the fed/state/city. In my mind I would think you'd tell her you can only move to the larger place if she secures this assistance first.

Curious how long a lease must you sign at your current apt? Sounds like it's longer than a month. Perhaps if you ask for month to month it may somehow be granted to you. (So you'll have more time to possibly find a larger apt.) If you do so, you may also want to careful to not bring attention to the number of people in your apt.

Are there other extended family or friends that may be a fit for your daughter's family?
 
Emmers

Emmers

New member
#14
Jul 4, 2021
15
10
3
Usa
#14
Thank you Sculpt. So much thought and consideration in your response.
All of the options you mentioned have either been explored and/or exhausted. This is why the situation is so extreme.
I believe God has given me a heart to help her and the children, but it’s difficult to make the constant sacrifices on top of not knowing how things will play out.
I know God will bless us & I’m thankful for hearts of people like you who take the time out to lift my family and our circumstances up to the Father.
God is good. Thank you again, Sculpt
 
Shilo

Shilo

Senior Member
#17
Aug 31, 2011
1,980
103
63
#17
Praying you receive God's wisdom and discernment in regards to housing. I pray that your daughter will be surrounded with Godly counseling and receive the help that she needs. Both of your daughters seem to be in a situation where they would be able to get help from the state. Also have you checked with Christian agencies in your area. The Salvation Army's in some areas do offer apartments at discounted rate. Praying the Lord brings the needed Provisions into your life. Amen
 
love_comes_softly

love_comes_softly

Well-known member
#19
Feb 13, 2019
768
823
93
#19
Praying the Lord will guide and direct you in what you should do next. I pray that he open doors for you all whether that be together or separate, but I pray that everyone will have peace in change.

I'm sorry that you're going through these trials. Family is a hard area to struggle with, especially because we love them so. Praying for strength and wisdom. *hugs* God bless!
 
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