Let the pun wars begin

[GandalfTheWhite]

Aw, looking through this thread and seeing all the oldies who used to be here. I miss you all <3 We had such a fun time on here.

Yeah, it is sad to see how many has left

 

[Jase]

All cute!😉

 

[Lynx]

Less despondency. More puns.

Yesterday at the store a clown held the door for me. I thought that was a nice jester.

The store was having a sale on boat paddles. It was quite an oar deal.

 

[mustaphadrink]

Did you know that cannibal tribes do not eat clowns. They taste funny.

 

[Jase]

There's a restaurant on he moon...lousy food..great atmosphere! 😄

 

[Jase]

Do you know the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter. 😀

 

[Mem]

I went to a zoo that only had one dog. It was a shih tzu.

 

[Gideon300]

A police van transporting prisoners collided with a Readymix truck. Police warned motorists to watch out for several hardened criminals

 

[Lynx]

Do you know the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter. 😀

I do know a gallon of butane weighs less than a gallon of water. It's a lighter fluid.

 

[Jase]

Did you hear about the truck loaded with Vick's Vapo-rub
that overturned on the highway?

Amazingly, there was no congestion for 8 hours! 😀

 

[Jase]

A hungry lion was roaming through the jungle looking for something to eat.

He came across two men. One was sitting under a tree reading a book;
the other was typing away on a typeriter.

The lion quickly pounces on the man reading and devoured him,
leaving the other man typing away.

Even the king of the jungle knows readers digest and writers cramp.

 

[Jase]

Juan Vega, the world famous clam diver, found an injured sea otter and nursed it back to health.

From the moment the grateful otter was able to walk, it never left Juan's side.

The otter even learned to dig for clams.

One day, a man went to Juan's house looking to hire him for a week.

His wife answered the door, " Sure, she said, it will cost $500."

The man exclaimed," That much?"

The wife replied, "But you're getting my husband and his otter, they bring up more clams
than anyone else around."

The man protested, "I just want Juan and will hire him for $350"

"Sorry", Juan's wife said, "You can't have Juan without the otter."

 

[Jase]

A dancer goes quick on beautiful legs;

A duck goes quack on beautiful eggs! 😉

 

[mustaphadrink]

How do you know a pastor drinks a lot of milk?

He is pastorised.

 

[mustaphadrink]

How do you know when you qualify as a pastor?

You are put out to pasture.

 

[mustaphadrink]

Did you hear about the irishman who left a bar? it does happen.

 

[mustaphadrink]

How many atheists does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just sit there and wait for the light to evolve.

 

[mustaphadrink]

Don't let worry kill you. let the church help.

 

[mustaphadrink]

Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community.

 

[mustaphadrink]

For those who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.