Are you it wont lead to more pain.? I need be careful with who interact with. But tbh I cant bring myself to cut ties as she is very nice. Still she asked me on a date with no intention of actually dating me. From what I can tell its probably out of pitty she's doing all this 🤔 I dont know its very confusing and she doesn't give straight answers. I guess I'll see where it goes for now. If it is genuine interest I dont want to niss out. Thanks
@tourist
Nope. Absolutely not. Every single relationship you'll ever have contains risk of being hurt. Friends. Family. Strangers on the internet you turn to for advice. All of them run risk. Romantic endeavors can run the greatest risk, though.
Family, we don't choose. We're put into a group of people and bond with them over time. But don't choose them.
Friends, most friends have a cap where the relationship with the only goes so far. We choose them, but only offer so much of ourselves to them.
Romantic relationships are the ones we choose, and that we become most vulnerable in Because we choose them. Even relationships that start the best can crash and burn quickly. Or they can happily last a lifetime. And there's No way to know which it will be.
There is no guarantee of safety. Only the decision of if the risk outweighs the reward.
And when it comes to situations like the one you're currently in, you've set up camp on a bad spot. You won't make a move, but neither will you let go of her. So you sit in the distance waiting for something clear to happen so you don't have to take a risk. That doesn't work. Because regardless of whether or not this woman is interested she's going to bail, eventually.
If she simply likes you as a friend, your distancing from her will become more and more clear. She'll find it pointless to stick around with someone making no effort, and leave.
If she is interested she'll take your lack of action as a lack of interest and move on.
Depressed people tend to view the events around them as "happening to them" and rarely think of their actions (or inactions) as having a part in what happens to them. Nor are they as likely to make active choices to change the world around them. So they perpetually live in a state of "happened to me". And you have placed yourself squarely in that position.
You're in a situation and waiting for it to resolve itself so you A ) don't feel you need to blame yourself for the outcome, and B ) can tell yourself, and everyone else, what happened "to you".
But those are false notions as a lack of action is equally to blame as taking action that don't work out.
Does this woman like you? I can't say for sure. Neither can you. But you'll also never know if you sit back at a distance and wait. Because she will move on either way. Then you're left with "what if I had said something?".
Is the risk of being hurt worth the reward of being with someone? Only you can decide that for yourself. But you need to decide it Before you get in these situations.
Hope it all works out.
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