Comparing current marriage and divorce to Biblical marriage and divorce isn’t exactly apples to apples. Infidelity is still infidelity but if a man had a sexless marriage in the OT he could get a concubine or another wife. Women weren’t able to get a good lawyer and take all of his possessions and garnish his wages for child support. Also women in the OT were very family based. They prided themselves on the successes of their husbands and children not her own ambitions and career. Not to mention, it wasn’t women who could divorce their husbands, even for infidelity. If she left, she got nothing. Instead of attempting to put new wine in old wine skins, we move to something Christ said that transcends time and tradition. We as Christians are to love (agape). This doesn’t mean emotionally inject affinity into relationships. It means bless, do good unto others, and carry their burdens. Sometimes people are just broken and don’t want to be fixed. Sometimes they are taking down the whole family with addictions (alcohol, sex, even work and volunteering). As humans we all want to feel alive. Many of us for reasons beyond our control feel dead inside. Often it is the modern burdens of work and family and trying to be a good person. Then something creates a spark and generates passion and causes us feel valuable and energized. Unfortunately, it’s not always God, our wife/husband and kids. This is the flesh, more basically the endocrine system, and serotonin/dopamine response. The point is we are to love God and our neighbours more than ourselves. Christ didn’t say that whoever loves their lives will keep it. It’s the opposite. Someone hates their life because they put themselves and their desires last. If your husband or wife is crazy, and abusive, by all means cut them loose. It is better to be alone. It doesn’t free you up for another try at happiness. Maybe you were the problem. Perhaps instead of showing your wife love you kept pointing out scripture telling your wife that God gives you all of the authority, then lording it over her, pushing her away. Ladies, maybe instead of being a cheerleader for your husband you constantly reminded him of how he’s not measuring up. Maybe you added to his insecurities causing him to cope via addictions. Maybe you are just a loser magnet and you can’t trust your selection skills. Regardless, all divorce is fixing a problem, not freedom to create more problems.
Legalistically, if a wife leaves her husband, the Bible doesn’t say he can’t remarry. Legally he could have married multiple wives. He just couldn’t divorce her leaving her “cut off” unless she was unfaithful. Also he couldn’t marry someone else’s ex. The reason is because you would have what we have today. Two separately married people fall in love then she leaves her husband and goes to the other dude. Then he takes her in and marries her. Women, there was no grounds to leave your husband. If you left there was no settlement, no child support and quite possibly no child.
Divorce is painful and expensive. Do you know what else are painful and expensive? Punishments and stupid mistakes! Loneliness and thinking a spouse will satisfy causes people to overlook obvious character flaws. If you did it once, you can do it again. Stay single. What God designed for two becoming one, is far from what today’s marriage has become.
