This can be true for some women, no doubt about that.
For others of us (uh, mainly me, speaking for myself
,) we're (I mean, me) just tired of all the drama and impossible hoops set by both genders. I'd love to meet the right person but one thing I've learned about my own personality is that if the relationship is putting me on the verge of "attack" mode, it's time to leave (and I hope that would show itself before any talk of marriage.)
I've talked extensively about the last boyfriend I had, which was forever and a day ago.
One of the many issues involved was when I went over to his mom's house, where he lived with his two young boys sleeping in the next room, and he was printing out a stack of pornographic pictures from the internet -- all featuring "exotic" women. It doesn't take much to know that among many other things, porn brings out a woman's insecurities to the max. And when I walked in, he acted like he was printing out the newspaper -- "Boys will be boys; God made men visual, etc." was his general attitude. And when he did finally feel some remnant of guilt kicking in, did he get rid of it? No, he just passed it on to a male relative.
Knowing him pretty well, I knew that one of his biggest insecurities, for some reason, was his nose. I didn't see anything wrong with it, but he would make comments about what he didn't like about it.
In the back of my mind, I already knew what I was planning to do. At the time, companies like Ralph Lauren were running regular ads featuring men (fully clothed) with perfect, Roman noses. Because he had such a nonchalant attitude towards the things that were killing me emotionally, I was going to return the favor by "decorating,) various places I knew he would see (the inside of his car, the room where he stayed) with pictures of these chiseled, proportionately "perfect" MALE faces. These men would all be 100% clothed -- and yet, I already knew how he would have reacted to it. But he had no consideration at all in regards to his pictures of naked women.
I never actually put up those pictures. And this was so long ago, I can't remember how much longer it was before I just left the relationship. From then on, any situation in which an ongoing problem that can't be worked out puts me in "retaliation" mode, I just leave, before it can get that far. And I know that's how I would react again (probably worse, as I've gotten even less tolerant with age,) if I were dating another guy who was into porn.
The thing is, if it's a guy friend, I can have all the sympathy in the world, offering to talk and pray about it if he wants. But if it's someone I'm dating, then his porn problem becomes my problem, and that isn't going to settle at all.
Not that I don't do plenty of things wrong on my own, of course. But that's kind of become my litmus test -- if it gets to a point where either or both of us are doing something that's almost constantly hurting the other person, it's time to break up while we still can.
And don't worry about me collecting cats -- I'm allergic, and am not interested in drugging myself up to be around them.
Being alone used to be one of my biggest fears ever in this life -- but now I see it as a chance to talk to, fellowship with, and live life in the companionship of others who have found themselves walking the same path.
When we singles unite in friendship and help each other out, suddenly, we are no longer alone.
For others of us (uh, mainly me, speaking for myself
,) we're (I mean, me) just tired of all the drama and impossible hoops set by both genders. I'd love to meet the right person but one thing I've learned about my own personality is that if the relationship is putting me on the verge of "attack" mode, it's time to leave (and I hope that would show itself before any talk of marriage.)I've talked extensively about the last boyfriend I had, which was forever and a day ago.
One of the many issues involved was when I went over to his mom's house, where he lived with his two young boys sleeping in the next room, and he was printing out a stack of pornographic pictures from the internet -- all featuring "exotic" women. It doesn't take much to know that among many other things, porn brings out a woman's insecurities to the max. And when I walked in, he acted like he was printing out the newspaper -- "Boys will be boys; God made men visual, etc." was his general attitude. And when he did finally feel some remnant of guilt kicking in, did he get rid of it? No, he just passed it on to a male relative.
Knowing him pretty well, I knew that one of his biggest insecurities, for some reason, was his nose. I didn't see anything wrong with it, but he would make comments about what he didn't like about it.
In the back of my mind, I already knew what I was planning to do. At the time, companies like Ralph Lauren were running regular ads featuring men (fully clothed) with perfect, Roman noses. Because he had such a nonchalant attitude towards the things that were killing me emotionally, I was going to return the favor by "decorating,) various places I knew he would see (the inside of his car, the room where he stayed) with pictures of these chiseled, proportionately "perfect" MALE faces. These men would all be 100% clothed -- and yet, I already knew how he would have reacted to it. But he had no consideration at all in regards to his pictures of naked women.
I never actually put up those pictures. And this was so long ago, I can't remember how much longer it was before I just left the relationship. From then on, any situation in which an ongoing problem that can't be worked out puts me in "retaliation" mode, I just leave, before it can get that far. And I know that's how I would react again (probably worse, as I've gotten even less tolerant with age,) if I were dating another guy who was into porn.
The thing is, if it's a guy friend, I can have all the sympathy in the world, offering to talk and pray about it if he wants. But if it's someone I'm dating, then his porn problem becomes my problem, and that isn't going to settle at all.
Not that I don't do plenty of things wrong on my own, of course. But that's kind of become my litmus test -- if it gets to a point where either or both of us are doing something that's almost constantly hurting the other person, it's time to break up while we still can.
And don't worry about me collecting cats -- I'm allergic, and am not interested in drugging myself up to be around them.
Being alone used to be one of my biggest fears ever in this life -- but now I see it as a chance to talk to, fellowship with, and live life in the companionship of others who have found themselves walking the same path.
When we singles unite in friendship and help each other out, suddenly, we are no longer alone.
what did you do? report him? Before he tried to pimp you out?
