Hey Everyone,
How does one handle the check when it comes to different family dynamics and dating?
I guess I can start off by using myself as an example (and for those who have listened to my same stories for years, thank you for enduring!)
I don't have any kids, but once upon a time, I dated a single dad who had 3 kids (2 at home, 1 on visitation.) It was so long ago that I can't remember all the details of our first dates and how the checks were covered, but when we did eventually decide to go on "family dates," (kids included,) I would wind up footing the entire bill. I would also buy the kids gifts for Christmas, birthdays, big events, etc., as well as contribute to their basic needs (food, clothes, daycare, etc.)
This isn't to somehow pat myself on the back in anyway. For those of you who know me, you know the other part of the story -- the father spent most of his money on cigarettes and alcohol (I neither smoke nor drink,) so I felt an absolute responsibility to look after these kids.
I haven't been in the dating pool for a very long time, but if I jump back into it, I'm no longer sure how I would handle this type of situation. I would want to be able to be honest about how I felt, but yet reach an agreement that seemed "fair" to both of us, because I know there are lots of responsible, loving single fathers out there. I mean, if you decide to get married, I realize for most Christians, it's a no-brainer -- the kids are now your kids as well and you just take care of your family together.
But what about thebeginning stages in which you're just starting to date?
Even if you're just staying at home, it's going to cost money to buy an entire family pizza and beverages.
How do the rest of you all feel about these scenarios?
* If one person has no children and the other one does, how does the bill get split or paid on a family outing?
* What happens if, let's say, one of the persons involved has 1 child, and the other person has 3 -- how does the check get covered?
* In the case of an adults-night-out date, who pays for the babysitter? If one person doesn't have kids, should they offer to pay half of the babysitting costs for the one who does? And again, if one person has 1 child and the other has 3, how do they split the cost of a babysitter then?
I often find it... amusing... when some people seem to tell us singles that if we want to find someone or just "put ourselves out there," it's as if all we have to do is just "put our minds -- and prayers -- to it," and it's as easy as that.
As if (and I say this often) marriage is just a bag of chips that you can go pick out at the grocery store any day you want.
For anyone who has done any time in the shark pool of dating, you know that this is just one of the many issues that will come up.
What are your thoughts and experiences, whether married now, or still dating?
How does one handle the check when it comes to different family dynamics and dating?
I guess I can start off by using myself as an example (and for those who have listened to my same stories for years, thank you for enduring!)
I don't have any kids, but once upon a time, I dated a single dad who had 3 kids (2 at home, 1 on visitation.) It was so long ago that I can't remember all the details of our first dates and how the checks were covered, but when we did eventually decide to go on "family dates," (kids included,) I would wind up footing the entire bill. I would also buy the kids gifts for Christmas, birthdays, big events, etc., as well as contribute to their basic needs (food, clothes, daycare, etc.)
This isn't to somehow pat myself on the back in anyway. For those of you who know me, you know the other part of the story -- the father spent most of his money on cigarettes and alcohol (I neither smoke nor drink,) so I felt an absolute responsibility to look after these kids.
I haven't been in the dating pool for a very long time, but if I jump back into it, I'm no longer sure how I would handle this type of situation. I would want to be able to be honest about how I felt, but yet reach an agreement that seemed "fair" to both of us, because I know there are lots of responsible, loving single fathers out there. I mean, if you decide to get married, I realize for most Christians, it's a no-brainer -- the kids are now your kids as well and you just take care of your family together.
But what about thebeginning stages in which you're just starting to date?
Even if you're just staying at home, it's going to cost money to buy an entire family pizza and beverages.
How do the rest of you all feel about these scenarios?
* If one person has no children and the other one does, how does the bill get split or paid on a family outing?
* What happens if, let's say, one of the persons involved has 1 child, and the other person has 3 -- how does the check get covered?
* In the case of an adults-night-out date, who pays for the babysitter? If one person doesn't have kids, should they offer to pay half of the babysitting costs for the one who does? And again, if one person has 1 child and the other has 3, how do they split the cost of a babysitter then?
I often find it... amusing... when some people seem to tell us singles that if we want to find someone or just "put ourselves out there," it's as if all we have to do is just "put our minds -- and prayers -- to it," and it's as easy as that.
As if (and I say this often) marriage is just a bag of chips that you can go pick out at the grocery store any day you want.
For anyone who has done any time in the shark pool of dating, you know that this is just one of the many issues that will come up.
What are your thoughts and experiences, whether married now, or still dating?
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