Good afternoon. I grew up christian, but didn't go to church, didn't live much different. September last year I started going to church.(OPC)
I went for about 2.5-3 months, and started praying, and then the Holy Spirit came into my life. For the first 2 weeks, I was just IN LOVE with God.
I stopped swearing very quickly, the hate in my heart went away, my talk otherwise cleaned up. That went away, (being IN LOVE with God, I think Satan got involved) and I got very anxious and depressed. I cut out everything bad in my life that were obvious, visible sins. Stopped watching ungodly TV, radio, etc. Looked away from any woman when driving down the road. I still struggled, but overall I was really trying, which might have fed my pride, which I prayed about.
There were times of great peace, when I truly felt like everything made sense, Christ died for my sins,etc. I confessed my sins and the guilt started going away, though I don't know if I have saving faith. I was starting to walk in grace a bit, when I realized I made a mistake, I'd confess it. I tended to focus on the worst versus in the Bible, Parable of the Sower, Hebrews 10:26, etc. I also just started reading The Pilgrims Progress, and the man in the cage stood out to me. On Thursday (last week), I was on my phone, and got this conviction that I shouldn't be. I finished the email and repented, but everything felt HORRIBLE. Like the Holy Spirit had left me. I feel hard. For a few days, I felt extremely empty, but now I feel sort of normal. I've struggled I feel very convinced that I'm hell bound. I've talked to 3 pastors and another man I trust, and they think I'll be fine. They mostly think that 10:26 applies to apostacy, but the way it reads, I don't like it. What are your thoughts?. Thank you
Good day, UnnamedConcerned,
Those who told you that Heb.10:26 is referring to apostasy are correct.
As believers, we are being transformed into the image of Christ which is a life-long process. We are always in the process of overcoming the acts of the sinful nature, which is what the letters to the seven churches is about, i.e. overcoming. As the scripture states, 'if we claim that we have no sin (as believers) we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us."
However, Heb.10:26 is not talking about the sins we commit out of weakness while we walk in Christ, but is speaking about those who would turn back to willfully, purposely live according to the sinful nature. Notice the word used in the beginning of the verse:
"If we
deliberately go on sinning after we have received the knowledge of the truth"
It is speaking in reference to abandoning ones faith and going back to willfully living according to the sinful nature and remaining in and and dying in that state. Consider the following scritpure:
"My brothers, if one of you should wander from the truth and someone should bring him back, consider this: Whoever turns a sinner from the error of his way will save his soul from death and cover over a multitude of sins. ."
James says "My brothers" which would be addressing believers, men and woman. Notice that the person in that wandered state is accumulating a multitude of sins and is on their way to death. However, if they turn back, repenting of it, God will forgive them covering over a multitude of sins that they would have accumulated in that state.
The important thing to remember here, is that the scripture is not speaking about believers who sin as they continue in their walk in Christ. Those who do so confess them and continue on knowing that they are forgiven because the blood of Christ covers them.
"If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. If we say we have not sinned, we make Him out to be a liar, and His word is not in us."
If your heart is turned to God and you are walking in Christ, then when you sin, confess it and move on, knowing that you have been forgiven. Remember Satan can can attempt to make you believe otherwise.
Anyone who says that he commits no sin as a believer in Christ is deceiving themselves. The sinful nature will always be with us until the Lord comes to gather His church, where at which time we will become immortal and glorified. In the mean time, the believer is being transformed into the image of Christ. But you can't do that if you turn back into the world, deliberately fulfilling the desires of the sinful nature and remaining there.