What Causes Divorce/Can it Really be Prevented?

[1ofthem]

It would be difficult to prove adultery in court unless they had a video, but that could be likely nowadays.

Idk...maybe they could get texts history, cell locations, etc. but still difficult to prove adultery unless you caught them in the act and snapped a photo.

I've also heard of where people would get their friends to lie in court and say that they had had an affair with the persons wife/husband.

I guess, it would all come down to a he said she said type thing in most cases.

I don't think it is always the case that the cheater is the first to get remarried, though. I've known of some folks who completely destroyed their marriage and family by having affairs. They cheated on someone that was actually committed to them with some sleeze bag, and then end up losing their marriage and/or their whole family for it.

The spouse that got cheated on has every right to remarry and often does. So I wouldn't say that the first to get remarried is the culprit.

 

[Lafftur]

really I thought the point of locking people up is so they stop commiting further crimes and keep everyone else safe from them?
its not to make them miserable. Then you are supoosed to teach them they were wrong so they have the opportunity to repent and learn how to live without resorting to crime!

No, that’s God’s job to teach them. Oftentimes, even our own backsliding will correct us.

Truly, the adulterer is miserable...sin only has temporary satisfaction...doesn’t last long and you don’t sleep well.

 

[Lanolin]

oh so...no jails then...murders and thieves and people who commit crimes that hurt others just go free then huh. Interesting.....

well...I guess money is saved by not building jails. Though Im not sure how then you stop people comitting further crime, killing more people and stealing and sleeping around. hmmm

if I see someone commit a crime then should I...just not report them, and think well thats Gods job not the police right?

 

[Lynx]

oh so...no jails then...murders and thieves and people who commit crimes that hurt others just go free then huh. Interesting.....

well...I guess money is saved by not building jails. Though Im not sure how then you stop people comitting further crime, killing more people and stealing and sleeping around. hmmm

if I see someone commit a crime then should I...just not report them, and think well thats Gods job not the police right?

You know the difference between sin and crime, right? I ask because you seem to be getting them confused, especially in this post.

 

[Lanolin]

yes Im just saying it seems that adultery is not a crime even though its a sin yet murder is a crime and not treated as sin. huh.

totally confusing.

what about theft, I suppose thats a crime but not a sin.

adultery, theft and murder are the three things listed in the ten commandments of things God doesnt want people do to, as they are all sins, and yet only theft and murder seem to have punishments these days.

 

[Lanolin]

although, murder of an unborn baby does not seem to count.
Theft, it depends on how big a theft it is.

I recall a lady stole $500 worth of goods from the bookshop, and she was caught on camera, but my boss didnt turn her in to the police but he did tell her to not come back to the store ever again. He never got the good back as she sold them. She couldnt work to pay them off because no employer would trust her.

 

[Lanolin]

I dont know if she went on to steal from other stores.
Thats the thing with thieves.

Maybe because my boss forgave her she stopped stealing? I dont know.

 

[Lynx]

yes Im just saying it seems that adultery is not a crime even though its a sin yet murder is a crime and not treated as sin. huh.

totally confusing.

what about theft, I suppose thats a crime but not a sin.

adultery, theft and murder are the three things listed in the ten commandments of things God doesnt want people do to, as they are all sins, and yet only theft and murder seem to have punishments these days.

Here's a hint: Between sin and crime, one never changes (because the one who decided it was bad never changes) and the other changes all the time (depending on which groups of people agree it is bad.)

Bonus hint: Sin is not always a crime and a crime is not always sin.

 

[Lynx]

Also, punishing some people for a crime is a sin, and punishing some people for a sin is a crime!

Burned any witches lately?

 

[Lanolin]

I think if people stopped coveting and were happy or learned to get along with the spouse they already had, or if they didnt have a spouse and were happy being single, adultery and divorce would not happen.

But then how would you stop people from coveting. is it our fault or is it the temptation is too much because of some sneaky snake oil people who market it as such.

God says you are allowed to eat from all the fruit trees in the garden except this ONE. And you can bet that the forbidden ONE will be most attractive to someone even though they can eat from the hundreds of other trees that are much tastier...?!

 

[Lynx]

God says you are allowed to eat from all the fruit trees in the garden except this ONE. And you can bet that the forbidden ONE will be most attractive to someone even though they can eat from the hundreds of other trees that are much tastier...?!

"And if I were honest with myself
Had I been standing at that tree
My hands and my mouth would be covered in fruit
Things I shouldn't know and things I shouldn't see"

- Sara Groves

 

[dave_in_KWC]

The biggest cause of divorce amongst professing Christian couples couples I have counselled (as a Registered Therapist and Ordained minister, since 1987) is Spiritual and Emotional immaturity.

 

[JAPOV]

Or marrying someone you think you can fix... Alcohol and infidelity ended my marriage. My only regret is my grown son thinks I'm just an old a'hole Christian and still lives with his mother...

 

[dave_in_KWC]

Or marrying someone you think you can fix... Alcohol and infidelity ended my marriage. My only regret is my grown son thinks I'm just an old a'hole Christian and still lives with his mother...

In actuality, EtOH and infidelity have never ended a marriage (the issue here is ownership of sin). The spouses involved in sinful behaviour, and their unwillingness to repent and make amends caused the end of the marriage.

 

[JAPOV]

The "SPOUSES" involved in sinful behaviour, and their unwillingness to repent......

My ex "SPOUSE" made HERSELF and my SON my ENEMIES because of my FAITH! She blamed ME for her DRINKING habit.... and EVERYTHING else! Don't psychobabble me, I've had plenty of THAT...

 

[Lanolin]

hmm sounds immature

to blame someone else for something you do

I have noticed some people go into amariage thinking hooray now I have someone handy around to blame when things go wrong.

But then thats what Adam and Eve did, they were very immature, really.

 

[dave_in_KWC]

My ex "SPOUSE" made HERSELF and my SON my ENEMIES because of my FAITH! She blamed ME for her DRINKING habit.... and EVERYTHING else! Don't psychobabble me, I've had plenty of THAT...

All I can say is: boy, did I touch a raw nerve! Lack of self-control is evidence of immaturity, eh?

Was it because I dared to say spouses vs. spouse? I wasn't intending to imply that both spouses are to be held accountable for a failed marriage.

Was the divorce solely due to her alcohol abuse? If she wasn't unfaithful or an unbeliever, try this:

Matthew 19:8-9
“Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way from the beginning. I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery.”

Does that sound like psychobabble?

 

[dave_in_KWC]

Divorce will only get worse in the west because are men weak and effeminates and refuse to do the duties at home and in their communities. They are soft, squishy, fat, and lazy. Men often do not lead their families spiritually, and often do not keep their strength. They do not do these things, therefor they lose their position in the home as the leader and their wife who is a spiritually weak vessel then no longer has someone to help her stay spiritually grounded. She will want a different man, because you aren't worth wanting.

Wow, judgemental towards men in the West or what?! Where are you from and what would cause you to make such a blanketing accusation?

I'd be willing to agree with a lot of what you posted but then you make such an all-encompassing statement about ALL western men!

I've been married for 40 years in November of this year and I'm a western man so there goes your broad-brush poorly stated accusation of western men.

If you want to point a finger at western unGodly culture, sure!; however you lost me with such a judgemental statement about all western men! You don't even qualify your comment to unsaved western men (maybe you failed to say Christian western men, eh?)

 

[Lanolin]

huh

I didnt see that post about the West
but am sure things arent all that different in the East

I think you can find soft, squishy fat and lazy men all over the world wherever donuts are sold.

 

[dave_in_KWC]

huh

I didnt see that post about the West
but am sure things arent all that different in the East

I think you can find soft, squishy fat and lazy men all over the world wherever donuts are sold.

If I recall gluttony, sloth and passivity are common to all (the Fall and our flesh) - at least I think that's what the Bible states.