Salvation isn't tied to obedience, but surrender. Obedience is simply the evidence of whether we are or not. Surrendered people give up the right to govern themselves and submit to the authority of the government to which they've surrendered...they don't keep on fighting.
3:20 For if our heart condemn us, God is greater than our heart, and knoweth all things.
3:21 Beloved, if our heart condemn us not, [then] have we confidence toward God.
When a person climbs down to the pit of sin and takes a seat and swats away the uplifting hand of God and waves a OSAS License to Sin in His face, he knows full well what he's doing. The answer you are looking for is the longer we stubbornly refuse God's help to get back up, the more numb to the Holy Spirit we become until we are past the point of no return and incapable of repentance, which is what happened to Satan and his demons. You sear your conscious with a hot iron and it's over for you.