Confused on the statement letting go and let God. Help please

[Lovelyjay]

Confused on the statement letting go and let God. So, I've been praying for a certain situation to change in my marriage for years. I've been depressed and constantly thinking negative bc nothing has changed. So, when we're told to let go and let God. Does that mean we should stop praying about the situation? Or do we continue to pray but ask God to help us not to worry about the situation? I'm really confused. I'm lost. I'm to the point where I'm just discouraged. I'm not sure if I'm praying correctly. Maybe I'm too inconsistent or maybe it's bc I continue to worry and stress about the situation daily and truly not letting go

 

[Live4Him]

Confused on the statement letting go and let God. So, I've been praying for a certain situation to change in my marriage for years. I've been depressed and constantly thinking negative bc nothing has changed. So, when we're told to let go and let God. Does that mean we should stop praying about the situation? Or do we continue to pray but ask God to help us not to worry about the situation? I'm really confused. I'm lost. I'm to the point where I'm just discouraged. I'm not sure if I'm praying correctly. Maybe I'm too inconsistent or maybe it's bc I continue to worry and stress about the situation daily and truly not letting go

Hi, Lovelyjay.

"Let go and let God" isn't actually found anywhere in the Bible. Instead, it's just a saying that some people use which basically means to cast your cares upon God in relation to things which we're powerless to handle or change in and of ourselves.

I don't know what type of situation you're praying about to change, but if it involves another person, then their own free will comes into play. In other words, you may pray for somebody else, and God may truly strive with that individual by his Spirit, but the other person can still resist such strivings of their own free will.

Anyhow, it's not really a matter of praying wrong. Prayer is simply conversation between you and God. You can approach him through Jesus, and then tell him whatever is in your heart.

I'm sorry that I cannot offer you more specific advice at the moment, but seeing how I don't know what type of situation it is that you're referring to, I'm just speaking in generalities.

 

[Roughsoul1991]

Confused on the statement letting go and let God. So, I've been praying for a certain situation to change in my marriage for years. I've been depressed and constantly thinking negative bc nothing has changed. So, when we're told to let go and let God. Does that mean we should stop praying about the situation? Or do we continue to pray but ask God to help us not to worry about the situation? I'm really confused. I'm lost. I'm to the point where I'm just discouraged. I'm not sure if I'm praying correctly. Maybe I'm too inconsistent or maybe it's bc I continue to worry and stress about the situation daily and truly not letting go

It means you solely abide on God. You focus on your relationship with God first. You can never make people change in less they are wanting to. So pray and past that, just continue to do what is right for you and God. That closeness may affect your husband.

God will either answer your prayer right away, tell you to wait, or say no. In less you have an obvious no, then you are probably dealing with a wait in God's timing.

 

[Blackpowderduelist]

Its church babel. It is a way of dismissing someone who has stress, concerns, fears, or worry. Because they don't want to sit with you and work through your issue with you. They don't want to bear each other's burdens. What it means is I don't have time or desire to hear you out, and sometimes it means I'm far to vapid to think and meditate on your issues.
As far as praying for your marriage issues, I am happy to hear you out and apply biblical principles to your situation, and to help you pray. As your brother in Christ I will not use any dismissive axioms with you.

 

[CorrectiveLens]

As a Christian, I will not bash other Christians who are attempting to assist a brother or sister in their struggle in life. God works through the Holy Spirit in all of us.
Lovely Jay, it would help if we knew a little more specifics about your situation. We don't know you personally so you can be fairly open with us in anonymity. I'm sure that your struggle is not unique and maybe some of the wonderful Christians on CC have experienced the same struggle and can offer you some comfort, solutions, or new perspective of your situation.

 

[Lovelyjay]

My husband has struggled with alcohol. And some horrible situations has happened due to him being drunk. Once he is sober I explain to him what happened the night before and he'll tell me he won't drink that much again or he is done. He will stop for a while but slowly goes back to the bad habit. Well a couple months ago it was really bad. He could have lost his life and it really scared him. He said he's done with the drinking. But a few weeks later he was drinking wine. He says that wine isn't as bad as hard liquor that he typically drinks but it's all the same to me. No, he didn't get drunk but I'm afraid it'll slowly progress into something bigger. Since he has a couple days where he had too much wine. He doesn't drink everyday (but multiple times a week) but when he does it's too much. And when he does it's like someone else is in control of his body. It's not him. It's just not the man that I married and honestly I'm scared. He says I don't believe that he is a better a him and he'll never go back to that person. But, everytime I see him with a glass I get scared of what could happen. He has actually thrown it in my face that I'm a Christian but yet continue to be negative. But I'm not trying to be but at this point I don't know how to believe him when it always end back with him drinking. And sometimes I don't know if it is God telling me that he isn't going to change and I should leave or if it's him telling me that I'm just not trusting him. I'm sorry this is alot and kind of all over the place. So, do I just pray one simple prayer for him and let go? Do I continue to pray about this situation daily? Or do I simply just pray for myself to let go of the situation? Bc when I say years it has been 5+years of praying for the drinking to stop.

 

[Runningman]

Confused on the statement letting go and let God. So, I've been praying for a certain situation to change in my marriage for years. I've been depressed and constantly thinking negative bc nothing has changed. So, when we're told to let go and let God. Does that mean we should stop praying about the situation? Or do we continue to pray but ask God to help us not to worry about the situation? I'm really confused. I'm lost. I'm to the point where I'm just discouraged. I'm not sure if I'm praying correctly. Maybe I'm too inconsistent or maybe it's bc I continue to worry and stress about the situation daily and truly not letting go

There is a prayer referred to as the Serenity Prayer. It is a prayer for those who need God's wisdom. It is a prayer, but the words themselves are profoundly wise words to live by.

The Bible says that in order to get wisdom we just ask God. This is a promise.

We all need wisdom. Just when we think we got it figured out we realize that we don't. Just when we think we can control everything we realize we are under the control of very few things in life.

There is some truth in "letting go and letting God."

James 1:5
5If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.

Serenity prayer:
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference.

In the name of Lord Jesus the Christ I pray. Amen.

 

[Blackpowderduelist]

My husband has struggled with alcohol. And some horrible situations has happened due to him being drunk. Once he is sober I explain to him what happened the night before and he'll tell me he won't drink that much again or he is done. He will stop for a while but slowly goes back to the bad habit. Well a couple months ago it was really bad. He could have lost his life and it really scared him. He said he's done with the drinking. But a few weeks later he was drinking wine. He says that wine isn't as bad as hard liquor that he typically drinks but it's all the same to me. No, he didn't get drunk but I'm afraid it'll slowly progress into something bigger. Since he has a couple days where he had too much wine. He doesn't drink everyday (but multiple times a week) but when he does it's too much. And when he does it's like someone else is in control of his body. It's not him. It's just not the man that I married and honestly I'm scared. He says I don't believe that he is a better a him and he'll never go back to that person. But, everytime I see him with a glass I get scared of what could happen. He has actually thrown it in my face that I'm a Christian but yet continue to be negative. But I'm not trying to be but at this point I don't know how to believe him when it always end back with him drinking. And sometimes I don't know if it is God telling me that he isn't going to change and I should leave or if it's him telling me that I'm just not trusting him. I'm sorry this is alot and kind of all over the place. So, do I just pray one simple prayer for him and let go? Do I continue to pray about this situation daily? Or do I simply just pray for myself to let go of the situation? Bc when I say years it has been 5+years of praying for the drinking to stop.

Alcoholism is a horrific destroyer of marriages and lives. That is what you are dealing with. He needs in a sobriety group, and you need a group for the victims and family of alcoholic.
AA and Al anon are pretty good at helping folks recover. You need a group that maintains the Christian essential, they are out there.
Sadly you will have to emotionally detach from certain aspects and know that if he don't get help and get in recovery he will die, likely slow and painful.
Al anon will help you set some good healthy boundaries.

As for prayer; that God will open his eyes to the truth of it. That God send truth tellers to his life, and send conviction. I have prayed that the Lord burden their conscience to cause repentance.

 

[CorrectiveLens]

That was good advice from Blackpowder duelist. It seems to me that your husband wants to quit but can't. I confess that at one time in my youth I was addicted to something that was so horrific that I'm ashamed to divulge what it was. I am sure that I was possessed by demons. I knew that my mom, whom I love dearly , was not saved. I prayed to God for Him to help me with my addiction and for Him to help my mom get saved. Then I made the decision to offer a sacrifice to God so that He would help my mother get saved. My sacrifice was to stop my addiction. So, for the love of my mom, I stopped my addiction. That was around 30 years ago. Jesus said that if we ask the Father anything in His name, it will be given. I'm sure He was not talking about worldly things but spiritual. I place all my confidence in His words.
My advice is to continue praying for your husband not only for him to stop drinking, but also for him to accept Jesus as Lord and Savior.
Let your husband know how much you love him and how his drinking is affecting you. Let his love for you stop his addiction. Tell him to think of you and the love you share as soon as he starts getting the urge to drink. Shower him with your love so that he will stop the urge as soon as it starts.
Again, I am not an expert. I just shared how I stopped my addiction. Love was the key.

 

[Live4Him]

My husband has struggled with alcohol. And some horrible situations has happened due to him being drunk. Once he is sober I explain to him what happened the night before and he'll tell me he won't drink that much again or he is done. He will stop for a while but slowly goes back to the bad habit. Well a couple months ago it was really bad. He could have lost his life and it really scared him. He said he's done with the drinking. But a few weeks later he was drinking wine. He says that wine isn't as bad as hard liquor that he typically drinks but it's all the same to me. No, he didn't get drunk but I'm afraid it'll slowly progress into something bigger. Since he has a couple days where he had too much wine. He doesn't drink everyday (but multiple times a week) but when he does it's too much. And when he does it's like someone else is in control of his body. It's not him. It's just not the man that I married and honestly I'm scared. He says I don't believe that he is a better a him and he'll never go back to that person. But, everytime I see him with a glass I get scared of what could happen. He has actually thrown it in my face that I'm a Christian but yet continue to be negative. But I'm not trying to be but at this point I don't know how to believe him when it always end back with him drinking. And sometimes I don't know if it is God telling me that he isn't going to change and I should leave or if it's him telling me that I'm just not trusting him. I'm sorry this is alot and kind of all over the place. So, do I just pray one simple prayer for him and let go? Do I continue to pray about this situation daily? Or do I simply just pray for myself to let go of the situation? Bc when I say years it has been 5+years of praying for the drinking to stop.

Hi, Lovelyjay.

Thanks for giving us some additional insight.

I would like to suggest to you that alcohol isn't your husband's real problem. Instead, it seems to be something that he turns to because something else is truly bothering him.

In other words, I'm suggesting to you that his drinking is more of a branch, figuratively speaking, and that there is a root problem that his drinking is stemming from.

To your knowledge, is there anything that is troubling your husband that works sort of like a trigger to push him to drink?

Before I became a Christian, I did drugs every day for 11 years straight, and I also drank like a fish.

In my particular case, neither drugs nor alcohol were my real problems. Instead, I turned to the same to try to gain some sort of relief from the real issues which were plaguing me. Once those issues were dealt with, the drugs and alcohol had no appeal to me whatsoever.

 

[Runningman]

Hi, Lovelyjay.

Thanks for giving us some additional insight.

I would like to suggest to you that alcohol isn't your husband's real problem. Instead, it seems to be something that he turns to because something else is truly bothering him.

In other words, I'm suggesting to you that his drinking is more of a branch, figuratively speaking, and that there is a root problem that his drinking is stemming from.

To your knowledge, is there anything that is troubling your husband that works sort of like a trigger to push him to drink?

Before I became a Christian, I did drugs every day for 11 years straight, and I also drank like a fish.

In my particular case, neither drugs nor alcohol were my real problems. Instead, I turned to the same to try to gain some sort of relief from the real issues which were plaguing me. Once those issues were dealt with, the drugs and alcohol had no appeal to me whatsoever.

Yes, self-medicating with substance abuse, despite the destructive effects, is often like a crutch , but the root cause is some kind of underlying pain.

There are a lot of things people use to escape their world when it gets too stressful. Rather than facing my problems I've resorted to lashing out by doing risky things, sleeping excessively, eating excessively, or getting drunk.

I think her husband needs someone outside of their marriage to step in with love and concern and help. We need an intervention. The question is, does he want help?

 

[Live4Him]

Yes, self-medicating with substance abuse, despite the destructive effects, is often like a crutch , but the root cause is some kind of underlying pain.

There are a lot of things people use to escape their world when it gets too stressful. Rather than facing my problems I've resorted to lashing out by doing risky things, sleeping excessively, eating excessively, or getting drunk.

I think her husband needs someone outside of their marriage to step in with love and concern and help. We need an intervention. The question is, does he want help?

I agree with you except for the part about someone outside of their marriage stepping in with love, concern, and help.

Actually, I was going to suggest that she, as his wife, do the same.

In other words, possibly say something like:

Honey, is everything okay?

Is there something that's troubling you?

Something that we could discuss and/or pray about together?

I just want you to know that I'm here for you...

Something along those lines.

Now I feel like Lucy from Peanuts.

Better still, make that Snoopy...

 

[Bingo]

"Pay close attention the the advise of @ Blackpowderduelis!!!

 

[Lovelyjay]

That was good advice from Blackpowder duelist. It seems to me that your husband wants to quit but can't. I confess that at one time in my youth I was addicted to something that was so horrific that I'm ashamed to divulge what it was. I am sure that I was possessed by demons. I knew that my mom, whom I love dearly , was not saved. I prayed to God for Him to help me with my addiction and for Him to help my mom get saved. Then I made the decision to offer a sacrifice to God so that He would help my mother get saved. My sacrifice was to stop my addiction. So, for the love of my mom, I stopped my addiction. That was around 30 years ago. Jesus said that if we ask the Father anything in His name, it will be given. I'm sure He was not talking about worldly things but spiritual. I place all my confidence in His words.
My advice is to continue praying for your husband not only for him to stop drinking, but also for him to accept Jesus as Lord and Savior.
Let your husband know how much you love him and how his drinking is affecting you. Let his love for you stop his addiction. Tell him to think of you and the love you share as soon as he starts getting the urge to drink. Shower him with your love so that he will stop the urge as soon as it starts.
Again, I am not an expert. I just shared how I stopped my addiction. Love was the key.

Thank you for this! I have also said I will give up something just for him to be sober. But I will continue to pray for him, myself, and our babies.

 

[Nehemiah6]

I'm not sure if I'm praying correctly.

There is a time to pray and there is also a time to act. Without knowing the details, one cannot say whether you neglected to act after praying. So the question you can ask yourself is "What actions can I take right now to fix the problem?" Every problem has a solution, and God does not intervene when He knows that you can do something about the matter. Sometimes it means confronting other head-on, and sometimes it means tough love.

 

[Lovelyjay]

I agree with you except for the part about someone outside of their marriage stepping in with love, concern, and help.

Actually, I was going to suggest that she, as his wife, do the same.

In other words, possibly say something like:

Honey, is everything okay?

Is there something that's troubling you?

Something that we could discuss and/or pray about together?

I just want you to know that I'm here for you...

Something along those lines.

Now I feel like Lucy from Peanuts.

Better still, make that Snoopy...

View attachment 226514

That's also something that we don't do alot of and that's pray together. He prays, reads the Bible, devotionals, books on being a good husband, etc. And same for me. However, we have never sat down and actually prayed together. Honestly, I have always been very nervous about praying in front of others, including my husband.

 

[Live4Him]

That's also something that we don't do alot of and that's pray together. He prays, reads the Bible, devotionals, books on being a good husband, etc. And same for me. However, we have never sat down and actually prayed together. Honestly, I have always been very nervous about praying in front of others, including my husband.

"Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered." (I Peter 3:7)

You and your husband are heirs together of the grace of life, and if he's dwelling with you according to knowledge while giving honor unto you as the weaker vessel (there's no need to be nervous while praying with your husband), then your prayers together will not be hindered.

 

[Nehemiah6]

Bc when I say years it has been 5+years of praying for the drinking to stop.

I just noticed this post. Evidently your husband loves alcohol more than he loves you or God. So if you are a member of a church, you could go to the pastor or elders and request a visit to your home, while you ensure that your husband is present. Let him (or them) confront your husband head-on about his alcoholism. Then take it from there, and ask the spiritual counselors to help you make the next decision if there is no repentance. No one can force someone else to change. Even God does not compel repentance. However He COMMANDS repentance (Acts 17:30)

 

[Lovelyjay]

Yes, self-medicating with substance abuse, despite the destructive effects, is often like a crutch , but the root cause is some kind of underlying pain.

There are a lot of things people use to escape their world when it gets too stressful. Rather than facing my problems I've resorted to lashing out by doing risky things, sleeping excessively, eating excessively, or getting drunk.

I think her husband needs someone outside of their marriage to step in with love and concern and help. We need an intervention. The question is, does he want help?

A very close family member of his mentioned that an intervention needed to happen. However, he does not know I talked with that person and he would be very upset if he knew I did. He does want to stop. But I think it's hard when he is around others (friends) that also drink. And yes, he has ALOT of issues from his childhood and teen/ young adult life and he still hasn't let go of issues

 

[Live4Him]

And yes, he has ALOT of issues from his childhood and teen/ young adult life and he still hasn't let go of issues

There's the real problem/issue, and God can heal/deliver him from it all.