Pregnant & recently single-heartbroken need men’s perspective

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GaryA said:
Trust Him completely to work out what is best for you.
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I know this is easy advice to give while not being nearly so easy to follow (I understand this all-too-well.); however, for all of us, this is the goal.

Do the best you can - with the Lord's help - to strive for that goal.
 
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neverhopeless911 said:
...Men pls help me understand...
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Since you have asked for input from men, I will be brutally honest with you about this man:

1. He has played you for a fool for two years. That is way too long. Two months should have been enough. That you did not see through his evil ways immediately is really surprising.

2 He is (1) a manipulator, (2) totally dishonest, (3) totally irresponsible. (4) mean and disrespectful, (5) vicious in threatening you with what he will do in court, (6) has no respect for human life and would be an accessory to murder (if abortion went through), (7) and one who definitely does not love you, since he has abandoned you and your child over and over again. In other words he is a THOROUGHLY EVIL MAN.

3. You should do two things (1) resolve to go through with your pregnancy and (2) meet with a competent and honest lawyer to determine how to legally get rid of him completely out of your life, and still protect yourself and your children.
 
I am sorry to hear that...must be hard especially now that you are also pregnant...I know it is hard but right now you should try to take care of yourself and your babies...you are with a man-child he is still an immature person...and still scared of committing himself to you and your kids...I am sorry if I am being harsh...he is not a man yet. A Real man is not only true to his words but also you can also see his words in his actions...

Distant yourself from this guy... Nothing good will happen if we live outside the will of God... I lovingly ask you to separate from him and make everything right in front of the Lord Jesus...let the Lord work on you and him...it will be quite hard but you will not regret it...😇


I'll be praying for you,the father of your kids and your kids. God bless you and please take care ❤
 
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Kireina said:
I am sorry to hear that...must be hard especially now that you are also pregnant...I know it is hard but right now you should try to take care of yourself and your babies...you are with a man-child he is still an immature person...and still scared of committing himself to you and your kids...I am sorry if I am being harsh...he is not a man yet. A Real man is not only true to his words but also you can also see his words in his actions...

Distant yourself from this guy... Nothing good will happen if we live outside the will of God... I lovingly ask you to separate from him and make everything right in front of the Lord Jesus...let the Lord work on you and him...it will be quite hard but you will not regret it...😇


I'll be praying for you,the father of your kids and your kids. God bless you and please take care ❤
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Thank you, he in fact is very immature and I am aware of that it’s just hard that’s all. It is sad and depressing to have to go through this during pregnancy and it’s a terrible feeling to do it alone with no support but I will make it. Thanks for your words I appreciate it! 😊 God bless.
 
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Your boyfriend does not sound mature and seems he is not ready for responsibility. Personally I would not marry him until he matures, shows responsibility. He needs to prove himself. It will be a bad environment for the kids if you both lived together. However as he wants to end things I would not pursue him either or be hopeful but you can still pray about this situation. I think he should still be responsible for child support though.
 
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neverhopeless911 said:
Same. My heart hurts for me and my children and this unborn baby who I’m sure can feel my sadness and my pain in there 😢 thank you, I’m sorry you’ve been through your own pain but you are here and you have overcame and have endured, by the looks of it, turned out pretty amazing. I just want to experience Gods peace and I feel like I try so hard to do right but I fail him. Sometimes I don’t even feel worthy of his love and Grace.
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Since you asked for male advice, I will keep my opinions to myself. But we do have some good, faithful dads and husbands that have been and will give you great advice. And people here will be praying for you and your unborn child. Blessings.
 
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kaylagrl said:
Since you asked for male advice, I will keep my opinions to myself. But we do have some good, faithful dads and husbands that have been and will give you great advice. And people here will be praying for you and your unborn child. Blessings.
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It would be beneficial for her to find another woman on here who she can abide in. Get two different perspectives.
 
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Roughsoul1991 said:
It would be beneficial for her to find another woman on here who she can abide in. Get two different perspectives.
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Yes, I think it would be helpful if a woman near her age and with children could be a confidant. I'd talk to anyone that needed help. But I don't have children so I don't know that I could have the same empathy that a mom could. But I think she is very brave not to abort her child and take the seemingly easy way out. I know she would deeply regret that. But certainly, no judgment, we have all made mistakes and need God's grace. So let's all remember that when responding to the OP. You, as usual, have given great counsel and advice brother.
 
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kaylagrl said:
Yes, I think it would be helpful if a woman near her age and with children could be a confidant. I'd talk to anyone that needed help. But I don't have children so I don't know that I could have the same empathy that a mom could. But I think she is very brave not to abort her child and take the seemingly easy way out. I know she would deeply regret that. But certainly, no judgment, we have all made mistakes and need God's grace. So let's all remember that when responding to the OP. You, as usual, have given great counsel and advice brother.
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You may not have children but you do have sound wisdom through your study of scripture. Most importantly you have the Holy Spirit that can lead you to help in the perfect of ways.

Those without sin cast the first stone. Sin can wreak havoc and so often when people are hurting, they need others to remind them Christ died for this very reason. To pave the way for healing if only we will follow. It is up to us as the body of Christ to help the other parts heal. To heal and protect themselves from future temptation or future troubles.

Sound council is by majority the Spirit in me, God just knows what people need. God is amazing like that.
 
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Nehemiah6 said:
He has already proven himself! It is this kind of wishy-washy comment that keeps people in bondage to evildoers.
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Our lord is a God of forgiveness and he can redeem anybody who truly repents and I truly believe this with all of my heart. I am aware that he has not been good to me and my children, but I forgive him and this does not mean I’m going back, it just means I realize I am not perfect and I am no one to judge him or condemn him. I am a nobody to do that. All I can do is pray for him, for those who hurt me as the Bible says. I appreciate your response although I believe it could have been delivered with a little more grace, thank you though. God bless.
 
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kaylagrl said:
Since you asked for male advice, I will keep my opinions to myself. But we do have some good, faithful dads and husbands that have been and will give you great advice. And people here will be praying for you and your unborn child. Blessings.
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I don’t mind hearing a woman's opinion I just know that majority of women I have spoken to have only told me to leave that I am stupid for wanting to stay with him just bc we have kids, that I need to have self respect and self love and walk away for good, and maybe they are right however I have given him so many opportunities bc I really believed the lord could genuinely touch him and I really wanted my children to have a happy complete family lead by the Lord. I asked for mens opinion bc I would like to try to better understand if they could rationalize his behavior as I don’t understand him 😔 or why he says he loves us that we’re his everything yet he runs when he can’t deal....
 
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kaylagrl said:
Yes, I think it would be helpful if a woman near her age and with children could be a confidant. I'd talk to anyone that needed help. But I don't have children so I don't know that I could have the same empathy that a mom could. But I think she is very brave not to abort her child and take the seemingly easy way out. I know she would deeply regret that. But certainly, no judgment, we have all made mistakes and need God's grace. So let's all remember that when responding to the OP. You, as usual, have given great counsel and advice brother.
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Thank you for this, it means a lot to me to not be judged by my circumstances. I have not made the best choices and I have settled when I knew I wanted more for me and for my God. I can’t undo my mistakes all I can do is want to do better. And I do. For me and my children, I know that God has a great testimony for us 💗🙏🏻
 
neverhopeless911 said:
I don’t mind hearing a woman's opinion I just know that majority of women I have spoken to have only told me to leave that I am stupid for wanting to stay with him just bc we have kids, that I need to have self respect and self love and walk away for good, and maybe they are right however I have given him so many opportunities bc I really believed the lord could genuinely touch him and I really wanted my children to have a happy complete family lead by the Lord. I asked for mens opinion bc I would like to try to better understand if they could rationalize his behavior as I don’t understand him 😔 or why he says he loves us that we’re his everything yet he runs when he can’t deal....
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He is scared of commitment. He loves when it benefits him but runs when it doesn't go his way. God could just as easily bring another man into your life to fill the role of husband and father. It doesn't take a biological connection to be a father figure. It hurts I know but spend this time focusing on God. The stress is bad for baby too especially in a high-risk pregnancy.

Breath, get some ice cream, a bubble bath, watch a funny movie and celebrate the life within you both you and the child. Feel their kicks, hiccups, and squirming. Take that feeling and hold it, cherish it, let that love fill you.
 
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neverhopeless911 said:
I don’t mind hearing a woman's opinion I just know that majority of women I have spoken to have only told me to leave that I am stupid for wanting to stay with him just bc we have kids, that I need to have self respect and self love and walk away for good, and maybe they are right however I have given him so many opportunities bc I really believed the lord could genuinely touch him and I really wanted my children to have a happy complete family lead by the Lord. I asked for mens opinion bc I would like to try to better understand if they could rationalize his behavior as I don’t understand him 😔 or why he says he loves us that we’re his everything yet he runs when he can’t deal....
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I don't mean for this to sound harsh, but, presently, there's really nothing to rationalize.

Jesus said that we'll know a tree by its fruit, and, right now, his fruit is bad. This doesn't mean that God cannot get a hold of him somewhere down the line, but there's simply no rationalization for his present behavior as you have described it here.

I'll offer the same advice to you that I follow all of the time myself.

When you don't know what to do, do what you do know to do.

In other words, your boyfriend has his own free will, and, aside from praying for him, there's really nothing else that you can do right now as far as him potentially loving you or your children are concerned.

With such being the case, focus on your own betterment right now and the betterment of your children.

Move forward with your baptism, continue to seek God's grace via prayer, and continue to seek support and prayer from other Christians, whether here or elsewhere.
 
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I am aware that it’s my fault and that the choices I have made have lead me to be here in this current situation, I am aware that I was living in sin, I am aware that I didn’t do things according to the Lords will, I am aware that I am the one who chose to stay in this situation for as long as I did. Thank you to the one who have given me sound advice without making me feel worse about my situation. This is the result of living in sin, and it hurts. I’m trying to keep it together for my children, but I’m already filled with emotion reading these posts, crying my eyes out. Thank you for your prayers, even in the midst of my pain I thank God for my unborn baby that will be my strength, God is good and he won’t leave me alone, this I know.
 
neverhopeless911 said:
I am aware that it’s my fault and that the choices I have made have lead me to be here in this current situation, I am aware that I was living in sin, I am aware that I didn’t do things according to the Lords will, I am aware that I am the one who chose to stay in this situation for as long as I did. Thank you to the one who have given me sound advice without making me feel worse about my situation. This is the result of living in sin, and it hurts. I’m trying to keep it together for my children, but I’m already filled with emotion reading these posts, crying my eyes out. Thank you for your prayers, even in the midst of my pain I thank God for my unborn baby that will be my strength, God is good and he won’t leave me alone, this I know.
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Try not to focus on your past sins, but rather on the forgiveness that you find through Christ when confessing and forsaking the same.

If you've repented, then God has blotted out your sins, and you have access to the throne of grace through Christ.
 
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